Jewish ladies: Bris Question

I know that when you get a child christened or baptised you are promising to raise that child in the christian religion. Does the same thing apply to a bris? I thought that it was welcoming a boy into the Jewish religion, but DH doesn't seem to think that is the case.

Some back story is that I was raised Catholic, but I'm not really religious and I don't want to have a baptism. DH was raised Jewish and is much more religious than I am. He really wants to do a bris if we have a boy. We had agreed to raise our children by educating them in both religions and letting them choose later on. If a bris is welcoming the child to the religion then I really don't want to do it.

I'm also wondering if it's unheard of to do the circumcision in the hopspital and just performing the ceremony in front of family. I just don't understand why everyone has to watch it happen and I'm really uncomfortable with it.

Re: Jewish ladies: Bris Question

Re: Jewish ladies: Bris Question

I'm not jewish, but DH is. with that being said, it's my understanding A bris is similar to a baptism in the sense that essentially you are welcoming your son into the jewish faith- a baby naming is the equivalent if you have a baby girl.

we are also planning on raising our children both and letting them decide later on in life. Our will be circumcised in the hospital and we'll have a blessing from a priest and a rabbi later on with our close family.

Re: Jewish ladies: Bris Question

On a technical level, and how strict the rabbi is, the mother of the child must be Jewish in order for the child to be Jewish. Some communities will view the child as a Jew if the child is raised as a Jew and has a bris. Other communities will say that the child would need to be converted because the child's mother is not Jewish.

The bris is viewed as making a covenant with G-d. I have never heard of having a bris without the circumcision, otherwise it is just a party on the 8th day of life. When DS was born we were not asked, nor were the people attending asked, to "raise" the child as a Jew, however, we were asked that we would have a Jewish home. I think it is a question of semantics.

I could not be in the same room as DS when he had the circumcision. It was the hardest moment of my life. I really understand your reluctance to have people watch, however, it is considered a mitzvah to attend a bris.
I would FM evenme as she is a Cantor and can help answer your questions.

Re: Jewish ladies: Bris Question

DH is right, it is a religous ceremony welcoming the child into the religion.

In regards to the other questions, everyone really does not stand around and watch; no one actually wants to see it. Women usually leave the room and stay with the mother, most men are chatting amongst themselves and only the men "involved" in the ceremony are actually right there.

HTH

Re: Jewish ladies: Bris Question

DH is Jewish and I am Christian. We plan on having a Bris if it's a boy and also having a baptism. Like you, we plan to raise the child with both religions and let him/her decide in the future.
Even if we had decided against raising the baby Jewish, I would still have a mohel (sp?) perform the circumcision as they have far more experience with them than the doctors in the hospital. Both my lamaze instructor and OB have recommended this.

Re: Jewish ladies: Bris Question

You can get a mohel to do the bris in the hospital. A bris is where the baby boy is given his hebrew name and circumcised. There is no promise to raise the child solely Jewish, but as a PP said, it depends on which rabbi you ask. If you go reform, definitely not-it is a ceremony, there is no promise as to what your DS will have to be raised as. I believe it is the father that gives the name, so since your DH is Jewish, the fact that you are not shouldn't be an issue.

Re: Jewish ladies: Bris Question

i'm actually opposite of everyone...i'm Jewish and DH is Catholic...before we got married we made the decision to only do a baptism as it's important to DH and i am not practicing (he really isn't either) we are not going to be doing a bris because i would personally feel more comfortable having it done in the hospital and do not personally want a bris done. we are going to be educating our kids in both religions so that they have a choice to practice or not practice whatever they believe when they are older.

As far as a "promise" to raise your DC as Jewish by doing a bris, I checked with my mom and she said no promises just a rite of passage and baby naming, it's more ceremony then anything else and also no, the circumcision can't be done in the hospital and then "faked" for the bris...it's one or the other (again so says my mom )
you have to do what is comfortable for you and DH HTH

Message edited 2/25/2010 7:45:04 AM.

Re: Jewish ladies: Bris Question

Thank you all for your input! This is really helpful information. It sounds to me like it really depends on the mohel who we get to perform the ceremony. We're team green right now so this might not even be an issue, but I wanted to be prepared just in case.

Re: Jewish ladies: Bris Question

Just posting to say glad there are so many other interfaith couples out there...sometimes in my world I feel like DH and I are the only ones! He's Jewish and I'm Catholic...we are both practicing and both families are VERY religious...not an easy thing for us but we make it work.
Good luck to everyone!

Re: Jewish ladies: Bris Question

Hi Ladies,
this is my area of expertise so I thought I could be of service:

a Brit Milah (bris) is on the 8th day of a jewish boy's life, he enters into the covenant of judaism (brit/bris means covenant) and milah (means circumcision).
You are not asked to sware or promise anything. It is a ceremony that welcomes a baby boy into the Jewish community.

The Mitzvah of circumcision is the “first commandment given to Abraham, the very seal of God upon our flesh.” It is a covenant in blood.

The circumcision “milah” of male children is the eternal sign of the covenant (b’rit) between God and the descendants of Abraham; hence b’rit milah, “the covenant of circumcision”

The ritual removal of the foreskin (orlah) has assumed an extraordinary religious significance for Jews.

As the forging of the most physical kind of bond between Israel and its God, it is indelible testimony of our identity as a community

The service may be held at home, but it is entirely appropriate to perform it in the synagogue as a means of stressing the communal religious aspect of the occasion

When the services of a mohel/et cannot be arranged, the circumcision may be performed by a qualified physician or a medical professional, preferably a religious Jew who appreciates the nature of b’rit milah as a religious ceremony rather than merely a medical procedure.

If no such person is available, a non-Jew may perform the medical procedure, but the religious service should be conducted by the family, the rabbi or cantor, or another suitable Jewish representative.
It would be more like a naming ceremony, if the circumcision is done in the hospital.

Message edited 2/25/2010 10:14:58 AM.

Re: Jewish ladies: Bris Question