Re: "Keeping Up With the Jonses"

when my life was a disaster I did a very good job of making it look like perfection

so I am not concerned with what people drive, where they live or how much money they have- unless they are trying to buy a house from me

Re: "Keeping Up With the Jonses"

Message edited 3/5/2012 2:16:27 PM.

Re: "Keeping Up With the Jonses"

I try not to sweat what others have and what others do because in all honesty, harping on those things won't change my situation one bit.

DH and I have made a nice life together and I am happy and fortunate for what we have. But we also take responsibility for the financial mistakes we made which got us in the position of not being to afford every little thing we want.

I can't lie, of course, I would love a bigger house, fancier vacations, newer car, etc. but I know that those things will come in time and I am okay with waiting a little. My DH, fortunately, does very well BUUUUT we do have a lot of credit card debt which is what's holding us back. So, we're working really hard towards paying that all off so that in the next 2-3 years we can have all the "extras" that we want and really enjoy ourselves more. It will be so nice to not have the burden of debt anymore. And it feels good to at least have a plan in place and to be working towards something together. KWIM? It keeps me from being jealous or envious of others.

I guess my honest feeling is that seeing what others have just motivates the both of us to work that much harder towards reaching our own goals. My DH works hard at his job and I do my part at home by watching what we spend and sticking to our budget and I know that we will have the things we want..............all in due time. A little sacrificing now for a better future tomorrow.

Re: "Keeping Up With the Jonses"

Re: "Keeping Up With the Jonses"

Posted by Beth

when my life was a disaster I did a very good job of making it look like perfection

so I am not concerned with what people drive, where they live or how much money they have- unless they are trying to buy a house from me

Re: "Keeping Up With the Jonses"

We don't try to "Keep up" but I do wonder how people do it sometimes.

We work very hard and do pretty well.

We know that EVENTUALLY we will have the things we want. It just takes time to get there. It's not based on who has what, it's based on - Oh, I always wanted a ...." Let's figure out a way to do that!

Re: "Keeping Up With the Jonses"

Posted by NervousNell

Posted by Beth

when my life was a disaster I did a very good job of making it look like perfection

so I am not concerned with what people drive, where they live or how much money they have- unless they are trying to buy a house from me

It's amazing how far smoke and mirrors can go.... and how money does NOT buy happiness....

Re: "Keeping Up With the Jonses"

I'm poor and happy
haha (mostly)

I live in a moderate neighborhood in the smallest floor plan house. We collectively are a group of hard working folks making decent livings but no one is fancy rich or have boats in the front of their house (often cause some do).

We all kinda nod to each other as we do our own gardens, mow our own lawns, pick up our yards and keep our kids in line. No one has nannies or lawn care. We make do and respect those of us in the same like. We also take a lot of pride in it. Our neighborhood is always clean, kids run rampant but off the streets, no one steals the kids' bikes left in at various yards. Its a good place.

That's grand but we ALSO live within the most expensive school district in town. We pay pretty for our little slice of heaven. Its a little hide away off the road. Other homes around us are grand! Huge 2/3 story messes with manicured gardens and 'staff'. The school my daughter will go to is going to be a true money first place. It worries we she won't be able to keep up with the jones. I only hope that by then we'll have saved enough and benefited from our relatively moderate mortgage to help her out.

Ugh.


ETA: actually i was thinking all her friends (and god help me boyfriends) will most likely live behind gates. How can I storm over and pick her up if I can't even get into the neighborhoods?!

Message edited 3/5/2012 4:23:17 PM.

Re: "Keeping Up With the Jonses"

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Yeah, we don't bother with that.

Who are we going to impress? The Jonses? Who are they, anyway? And why do they care so much?

It's just not our thing. We like certain things that might be on the pricy side: musical instruments, concert tickets, certain types of booze , and DH has been restoring a '72 Dodge for awhile now. But something tells me that these Jonses folks wouldn't be impressed by that nonsense!

We're happy. We're healthy. We're not in debt. Our mortgage is going to be paid off fairly quickly. We have the ability to take care of emergency expenses when they arise...something tells me that my dentist would not have accepted a used designer bag as payment for nearly $3K of emergency dental work last week. For us, those are the things that matter.

Re: "Keeping Up With the Jonses"

I have things I want for my family but it is not bc I am comparing myself to anyone else.

The goals DH and I have about the type of home we would like to raise our children in , the type of savings we want for their college and our retirement etc. are not because of or in spite of what anyone else has.

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Dh & I pride ourselves on being the "white trash" of the neighborhood...haha. I never understood the need to drive a luxury car or pay more than $50 for a handbag. I get excited by how much money I can save when I shop, not an excessive amount I could spend. We live in the Hamptons which exemplifies the whole "Jones" lifestyle. But here we are in a tiny 2 bedroom house driving old Toyotas..and loving every minute of it because we aren't living beyond our means trying to impress people we don't even know.

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DH and I live in a rather small house, so sometimes I feel a little bit jealous when I look at other houses. However, then I remind myself that we bought a house at 23 & 24 years old, while I was still in school and barely working. Anytime little jealousies like that do come up, I just try to remember what we do have, and I also remind myself that we compromise some things for other things that are more important to us.

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I've never had enough money to keep up with the jonses. When I did have credit cards, I maxed them all out and had nothing to show for it. Now I live on cash and I have what I have, thats it.

Sometimes I do get jealous though of those who seem to have it so easy. I wonder if I'll ever be one of those people

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Message edited 3/5/2012 10:34:32 PM.

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Message edited 3/5/2012 11:04:46 PM.

Re: "Keeping Up With the Jonses"

I laugh at the Jonses because they're in debt up to their arse usually....unless they are fabulously wealthy.

I wear out everything till threadbare. Never buy expensive clothes or shoes, save every penny, eat out maybe twice a month...we have no debt and save up to go on lots of vacations. Thats where we spend, but not to keep up with anyone, only to enjoy us time.

I know people who spend their check before its even cashed. Have to have $200 sunglasses, Coach whatever, but don't have a pot to pi$$ in.

Re: "Keeping Up With the Jonses"

CNC - I think people only see a snapshot of what other people want them to see on LIF and even IRL. Some parents do go all out for parties and vacations, but they might not get their nails done, or go for a hair cut, and eat on a strict budget. Other people get great purses/shoes, but they are childless by choice so they don't have to spend money on childcare. It is all a matter of priorities - and yes, some might have it all, and be in debt to their eyeballs barely making minimum payments on their cc or loans. There are very few people who actually have it all - in fact I cannot name a single person I know IRL who has it all (or what I consider having it all).

Message edited 3/5/2012 11:11:22 PM.

Re: "Keeping Up With the Jonses"

Posted by Mrs213

Posted by MrsPJB2007

Long Island is FULL of this menality. Hell LIF in general seems to be a big example of this.

This is what I was wondering too if it's a regional thing.

ETA I never even really thought of this kind of thing until I bought a house really

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I feel jealous. Mostly because we bought and eensy weensy starter home and are stuck in it becauase it has lost half of it's value. It's literally 750 square feet. Negative equaity and no money to expand. So yeah. We made a modest income and are stuck in this awful house. Our only choice is to walk away and we aren't doing that.

So yeah.. I have a lot of jealousy that we didn't wait 8 months to buy a home and our friends all have beautiful, modest homes. Are we stuck with this #%$#%^$#^.
We can't sell or expand like we planned and I am upset.

As far as cars. I love my 2005 subaru so no.. that doesn't bother me. I would love to do a nice tropical vacay but, I am not green with envy over that. I always try to do it but, stop when i see the price tag. Not worth it for me. It's just he house thing for me.

We have a ton of credit card debt that we are so close to paying all off. After that, we start saving like crazy to get ourselves out of this situation.

Message edited 3/6/2012 6:58:27 AM.

Re: "Keeping Up With the Jonses"

Posted by JennP

Posted by LSP2005

CNC - I think people only see a snapshot of what other people want them to see on LIF and even IRL. Some parents do go all out for parties and vacations, but they might not get their nails done, or go for a hair cut, and eat on a strict budget. Other people get great purses/shoes, but they are childless by choice so they don't have to spend money on childcare. It is all a matter of priorities - and yes, some might have it all, and be in debt to their eyeballs barely making minimum payments on their cc or loans. There are very few people who actually have it all - in fact I cannot name a single person I know IRL who has it all (or what I consider having it all).

This is pretty much what I was going to write.

I think you can't judge based on LIF, for many reasons.

Many people use it largely as a place to ask for recommendations about things that are often big ticket items like party locations, trips, nice dinners out, etc. Something like that could be their only splurge in a year.

Also, despite the recent proliferation of posts about things like couponing and saving money, people are overall still less inclined to post about financial problems or even just the desire to save a few bucks.

So I think we all get an unbalanced view of each other.

Again, you don't know what people are giving up to buy whatever they are posting about. I really don't know a single soul rich enough to just buy whatever they want without making the choice to sacrifice something else. But that could just be the circles I run in.

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I'm not interested in keeping up with the Joneses.

I don't want most of the stuff they have, and to be honest, I find that life kind of boring. We don't own a car because we don't need it- we ride our bikes or use public transport. We don't own a house or apartment because we don't want to pay for it, and I don't want to clean it . I'd rather spend that money on other things, other interests. I do, however, like technology and I like a modern computer etc. But I just like it; I'm not trying to keep up with anyone.

I don't want to keep up with them, and I kind of find living like that not my style. For me the less things the better- I'm more about spending money on experiences.

ETA: the only debt we have is my student loan. We don't carry over credit card balances b/c they don't have credit cards like that in Germany.

Message edited 3/6/2012 7:03:55 AM.

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