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PitterPatter11
Baby Boy is Here!
Member since 5/11 7619 total posts
Name:
Momma <3
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lending money to family
If she has already declared bankruptcy in the past, I would definitely not lend her money as I do not think you will ever get it back. $25,000 is A LOT of money. It is almost half of my yearly salary. I can not imagine lending/gifting someone that much.
If everyone else was willing to contribute a little bit, I *might* be able to get on board with like $5,000 - but $25,000!!!! Plus, I know my DH would NEVER get on board and my family is aware of that.
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Posted 2/10/17 12:35 PM  |
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Pomegranate5
LIF Adult
Member since 2/11 4798 total posts
Name:
Pomegranate5
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Re: lending money to family
Posted by SusiBee
Posted by luvbuffet
take care of your family first. offer what you can. also offer without expecting to ever see it again
Good advice.
That's a whole lot of money to ask for.
Let the whole family contribute if they are so concerned.
This.
Sorry but unless my parents are about to go homeless there is no way I'd deplete my savings for anyone.
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| Posted 2/10/17 12:37 PM |
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w8andsee
LIF Adult
Member since 10/09 1193 total posts
Name:
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Re: lending money to family
I would say no, but what would they need it for?
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| Posted 2/10/17 12:41 PM |
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Pumpkin1
LIF Adult
Member since 12/05 3715 total posts
Name:
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Re: lending money to family
Posted by incog2
Posted by KarenK122
No way would I lend out my entire savings, unless it was a life or death situation, but I would not just say no. Maybe there is a way to help them not financially. Getting them in touch with a financial consultant or a debt consolidator or get them info on bankruptcy. It really depends on what they needed the money for.
Unfortunately, she has gone through bankruptcy in the last few years. This debt was incurred due to an unforeseen situation that needed to be taken care of and also a medical situation.
If she files for bankruptcy again, you will never see the money. Honestly, I think your family is being unreasonable expecting you to do this. It's your life savings and you have a family, who is going to bail you out if you need that money (i.e. job loss, medical emergency)? Perhaps you can all chip in some money to help but you shouldn't shoulder the burden yourself.
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| Posted 2/10/17 12:50 PM |
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KarenK122
The Journey is the Destination
Member since 5/05 4431 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: lending money to family
Posted by incog2
Posted by KarenK122
No way would I lend out my entire savings, unless it was a life or death situation, but I would not just say no. Maybe there is a way to help them not financially. Getting them in touch with a financial consultant or a debt consolidator or get them info on bankruptcy. It really depends on what they needed the money for.
Unfortunately, she has gone through bankruptcy in the last few years. This debt was incurred due to an unforeseen situation that needed to be taken care of and also a medical situation.
Then my answer would have to be no. If they already have been through bankruptcy, I would not feel confident in ever getting the money back. Also, one of my rules is that no, one not even my parents know how much money I have or do not have in the bank. It is no ones business and helps avoid situations like this.
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| Posted 2/10/17 12:57 PM |
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summerBaby10
let's be nice
Member since 9/07 10208 total posts
Name:
Wifey
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Re: lending money to family
Posted by incog2
Unfortunately, she has gone through bankruptcy in the last few years. This debt was incurred due to an unforeseen situation that needed to be taken care of and also a medical situation.
As terrible as this sounds, you have to think of your own potential, God forbid, unforeseen emergency. I can't believe your family knows that you have this amount of money in savings. Not even our own parents know how much we have & we are close with them & I can't believe they would ask you to hand it all over & essentially live paycheck to paycheck for the next 4 years considering you have kids. Anyway, since it sounds like you do want to help in some way, can you offer less? $5k, $10k?
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| Posted 2/10/17 1:04 PM |
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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19458 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: lending money to family
You will never see that money again. Repeat after me, I am so sorry, we don't have the money to give you. Edit
Why does anyone know what you have in savings? They should not. In economics there is a theory called crabs in a bucket. What happens to crabs is that they pull another crab down further into a bucket when they see one trying to escape. If you give this family memeber the money they will be dragging you down with them.
Stand up for yourself. Honestly, if you or your husband lost their job you would not survive without this money. You cannot afford to give them the money. I would make sure to bank separate from your family. None of them should know how much you have. Frankly, lie. Tell them you don't have it. Protect yourself and your kids.
Message edited 2/10/2017 1:30:25 PM.
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| Posted 2/10/17 1:04 PM |
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FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7790 total posts
Name:
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Re: lending money to family
I would not deplete my savings. You can't. Its irresponsible to your own family. If you can afford to lend her a smaller amount, then contribute what you can. Your family's expectations are irrelevant. How do they even know for sure you have it? That's pretty presumptuous.
On a different note, years ago I asked a wealthy family member to lend me money to pay off debt and I would pay her back with interest. I drafted a promissory note memorializing the monthly payment. She thought I was ridiculous but I wanted her to know I was serious about paying her back and that if I didn't, she had documentation to sue me for the money if she had to. She took the leap of faith and lent me the money and I am grateful to her everyday that she did. So if you decide to lend her the money, I would recommend a promissory note so that she knows this is not a gift and you are serious about needing/wanting the money back.
ETA: I responded before reading about the bankruptcy. In that case, I would help with a number I was comfortable with gifting and that's it. What does your DH say?
Message edited 2/10/2017 1:10:41 PM.
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| Posted 2/10/17 1:07 PM |
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lending money to family
Um hell no unless it was our parents and I would tell them you don't have it. Plain and simple no one knows what you have in the bank
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| Posted 2/10/17 1:17 PM |
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MrsMick
Baby #2 debuts in March 2016!
Member since 9/09 1977 total posts
Name:
Michele
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Re: lending money to family
I would not. I would only help my Parents and Children. That is it.
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| Posted 2/10/17 1:24 PM |
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MrsB612
LIF Adolescent
Member since 12/12 784 total posts
Name:
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lending money to family
I agree with PP, you will most likely not get this money back, especially considering their previous financial distress. Since you sound like you do want to help, I would maybe offer 2.5-5K, this is still a significant amount of money. Shame on your family for guilting you into lending the money considering they aren’t even willing to help/pitch in themselves. I obviously do not know the specifics, but is the money being used to pay for a mortgage and medical bills, or something of that sort? If yes, then maybe they should rent out their place and move in with family until they get back on their feet. As far as medical bills, they can go on a payment plan with the hospital and pay whatever they can each month with no interest.
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| Posted 2/10/17 1:31 PM |
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Momma2015
Mommax2
Member since 12/12 6656 total posts
Name:
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Re: lending money to family
NEVER! I can't believe they would ask that of you and that your family would expect you to give it. I'd maybe try to give a little bit- something like $3,000, $5,000 would be the absolute limit, and I would have zero expectations of ever seeing that money again.
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| Posted 2/10/17 1:32 PM |
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Re: lending money to family
Posted by PearlJamChick
I would not offer up my entire savings unless someone's life literally depended on it.
If you want to help them out, then offer an amount that you're comfortable lending and comfortable never seeing again.
All of this.
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| Posted 2/10/17 1:32 PM |
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jellybean78
:)
Member since 8/06 13103 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: lending money to family
Posted by Momma2015
NEVER! I can't believe they would ask that of you and that your family would expect you to give it. I'd maybe try to give a little bit- something like $3,000, $5,000 would be the absolute limit, and I would have zero expectations of ever seeing that money again.
Agree. Unless you are very very well off no way I would lend someone $25K. That is a lot of money. No way I would lend that to anyone unless it was a life or death situation. A few $$ with the expectations of never seeing it again sure but no way would I lend $25K to someone and that's very unfair of your family to expect that of you.
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| Posted 2/10/17 2:04 PM |
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drpepper318
MIR MIR MIR!
Member since 6/07 8274 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: lending money to family
Never. Not a chance. I'd say Sorry I can't do it and that would be the end of it. Lend a close family member one or two thousand? Probably sure. But 25k?!?!... oh hell no.
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| Posted 2/10/17 2:05 PM |
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JennLala
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/14 601 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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lending money to family
Sorry that you have been put in this position, but you absolutely should not deplete your saving to lend this person (or anyone else) money. I've always said, don't lend anyone money that you can't afford to not get back. It's awful that your family is putting pressure on you. Simply say that you don't have the money to lend.
If there are non-financial ways that you can help this person out, by all means, do what you can.
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| Posted 2/10/17 2:11 PM |
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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19458 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: lending money to family
If family members give you a hard time, tell them I don't see you taking out a personal loan or a HELOC to help out.
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| Posted 2/10/17 2:37 PM |
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Jenn79
One more?
Member since 2/12 2410 total posts
Name:
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Re: lending money to family
Never. I once lent someone 2500, and I only saw a little over half back. If they have trouble financially already there is no way they will be able to pay it back.
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| Posted 2/10/17 2:59 PM |
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Lauren82
LIF Adult
Member since 10/06 4580 total posts
Name:
L
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lending money to family
I wouldn't do it. There are very few people I would ever consider lending money to (my parents, my inlaws, my brother, and my best friend/cousin) and even then, I wouldn't lend that amount. I look at lending as essentially a gift that I would hope to get back but no guarantees. I know no one would even ask for that kind of money from us because we are very private with our finances and even my parents have no idea how much we have in our savings, but if they did, I wouldn't lend that much. And I would never let people guilt me into lending money...that's a crappy thing to do to someone.
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| Posted 2/10/17 4:37 PM |
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Kate
*****
Member since 5/05 7557 total posts
Name:
Kate
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Re: lending money to family
Posted by NervousNell
No way would I ever loan ANYONE my entire savings.
No way.
They can get a loan from a bank and pay it back over those 4 years.
And I would never ASK a family member to do that for me. IMO that is balls and very selfish
Completely agree!
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| Posted 2/10/17 4:38 PM |
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pumpkinmom
LIF Adult
Member since 5/12 2911 total posts
Name:
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lending money to family
It would depend on who it was and why they needed it. And as others mentioned, I would have to accept the possibility that I never see the money again.
If it's to take care of debts, I think it would be better that they work out a payment plan and maybe even negotiate a reduction of the debt with the whoever they already owe.
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| Posted 2/10/17 4:58 PM |
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MrsG823
Just call me Mommy.
Member since 1/11 5570 total posts
Name:
S
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lending money to family
I would never lend someone my entire savings.
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| Posted 2/10/17 4:59 PM |
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jlm2008
LIF Adult
Member since 1/10 5092 total posts
Name:
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Re: lending money to family
Posted by LSP2005
You will never see that money again. Repeat after me, I am so sorry, we don't have the money to give you. Edit
Why does anyone know what you have in savings? They should not. In economics there is a theory called crabs in a bucket. What happens to crabs is that they pull another crab down further into a bucket when they see one trying to escape. If you give this family memeber the money they will be dragging you down with them.
Stand up for yourself. Honestly, if you or your husband lost their job you would not survive without this money. You cannot afford to give them the money. I would make sure to bank separate from your family. None of them should know how much you have. Frankly, lie. Tell them you don't have it. Protect yourself and your kids.
This! I already responded but LSP is exactly right on the money, no pun intended. You would be completely foolish to even consider this. And no ONE should ever know how much savings you have...that still has me 
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| Posted 2/10/17 6:43 PM |
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mnmsoinlove
Mommy to 2 sweet girls!
Member since 3/09 8585 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: lending money to family
No way it's too risky for you. What if you have some unforeseen emergency? You can't deplete your entire savings to help someone else. If you can offer a smaller amount that you are comfortable not getting back than I'd do that other wise just say no.
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| Posted 2/10/17 7:06 PM |
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ChilisWife
God Bless America
Member since 5/05 3572 total posts
Name:
A.K.
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Re: lending money to family
Posted by LSP2005
You will never see that money again. Repeat after me, I am so sorry, we don't have the money to give you. Edit
Why does anyone know what you have in savings? They should not. In economics there is a theory called crabs in a bucket. What happens to crabs is that they pull another crab down further into a bucket when they see one trying to escape. If you give this family memeber the money they will be dragging you down with them.
Stand up for yourself. Honestly, if you or your husband lost their job you would not survive without this money. You cannot afford to give them the money. I would make sure to bank separate from your family. None of them should know how much you have. Frankly, lie. Tell them you don't have it. Protect yourself and your kids.
This. Exactly this. Do not do it. Just don't. There is no way this could turn out well for you in any way. If anything, if you want to give SOMETHING then I would maybe offer a couple of thousand. I know it's hard because it is family but offer to help her in other ways - like figuring out how to consolidate her debt and make payment plans with creditors or selling valuables if they have any...but honestly that is way too much money to give away and listen, you would be GIVING it away. If she already filed bankruptcy AND then got herself in a 25K hole, what makes you think she will be able to find an extra $6,000 a year to give you for the next 4 years? You NEED that money - all it takes is one broken leg, one leaky roof, or some other similar unexpected emergency and then honestly, what will you do? And even if nothing happens, that's a nice chunk of college savings! Ugh, so sorry you are in this position.
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| Posted 2/10/17 7:11 PM |
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