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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: lending money to family
I don't understand how people can feel comfortable asking other people for money. I got into a not insignificant amount of credit card debt in my 20s and I never even dreamed of asking anyone to bail me out! I buckled down on all of my expenses. Cleaned out my closet and stayed organized so I didn't think that I needed to buy any new clothes or shoes, didn't take any vacations or do any unnecessary spending, limited going out etc. If it is going to take this person 4 years to pay back the $25k they should see a credit counselor instead of asking you for money. I would offer to help them with a budget but I would never ever consider giving someone my entire savings unless it was a medical emergency.
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Posted 2/13/17 7:54 AM  |
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Leb
LIF Adult
Member since 12/09 4166 total posts
Name:
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lending money to family
Omg never. I would never give that money to anyone except my parents and brother, and it would be in the case of an extreme emergency, like live saving medical.
How in the world does she even know you have 25k?! I would have said I am so sorry I don't have that kind of money. What everyone said here is on point, I guess if you had 100k you could (semi) afford to loose 25k, but in the position you're in HELL NO.
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| Posted 2/13/17 8:37 AM |
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Cacarina
Two girls!
Member since 12/09 2971 total posts
Name:
Cari
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lending money to family
Without reading other responses - which I am sure say the same thing - but....NO WAY should you be giving out your entire savings!! What if something happens to you and you are left with nothing???
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| Posted 2/13/17 8:39 AM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15657 total posts
Name:
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lending money to family
No way, sorry. If it's medical debt, they will do payment plans with your family member.
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| Posted 2/13/17 8:40 AM |
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DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
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lending money to family
Unless it was literally life or death no I would not based on what you have shared
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| Posted 2/13/17 9:29 AM |
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JennZ
MY LIFE!!
Member since 8/05 25463 total posts
Name:
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lending money to family
thats a huge amount of money. thats balls family or not to ask someone for. i wouod never drain myself dry to help someone, family or not. and not for anything, if they are asking for that much, its probably just a dent in what they really need. you will never see that money again.
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| Posted 2/13/17 9:31 AM |
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klingklang77
kraftwerk!
Member since 7/06 11487 total posts
Name:
Völlig losgelöst
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lending money to family
That's a lot of money and it's your savings. I would only do it if it were a life or death situation.
Say no. No is a complete sentence; you don't need to give reasons.
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| Posted 2/13/17 9:42 AM |
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Funkybutt
LIF Adult
Member since 4/15 3049 total posts
Name:
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lending money to family
Offer to start her a Go Fund Me page. (I cringe to even suggest it b/c I hate all the begging for frivolous stuff that's been going on the past few years.) However, if she's really in dire need of it, then her friends and other family members can feel ok about giving her money.
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| Posted 2/13/17 10:17 AM |
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MrsO
Big Brothers to Be
Member since 1/07 4521 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: lending money to family
If that is your savings I would not loan out the 25k - I would maybe offer a smaller loan of 5k or 10k if you feel comfortable with that. I would also have a formal agreement and payment terms drawn up with a nominal interest rate to protect yourself just in case.
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| Posted 2/13/17 12:39 PM |
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busymomonli
Resident Insomniac
Member since 4/13 2050 total posts
Name:
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lending money to family
My husband and I have a strict policy we both agree on: We don't lend money. It never, ever ends well so we just don't do it. Not to mention we don't really have anything significant to lend.
The only way I would consider is if it were one of my children.
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| Posted 2/13/17 12:44 PM |
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bunnyluck
LIF Adult
Member since 1/14 3196 total posts
Name:
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lending money to family
No. No. No. You can't drain your entire savings to help them. It honestly doesn't sound like you're in the position to help. What if you run into a difficult time?
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| Posted 2/13/17 2:23 PM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: lending money to family
It's not just about you, your family member, or your 'expectant' family - you have a husband and kids? THEY are first priority - If $25k is your entire savings, your whole cushion ....NO WAY.
A. You will NEVER see that money again -
B. HOW does anyone but you and your DH know that you're in fact, in a position to lend it? JUST b/c you HAVE it, doesn't mean you're in a financial position to give it away! How do they even know you have it? tell them you don't!
Not a chance in hell I'd be depleting my savings
Message edited 2/13/2017 4:15:39 PM.
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| Posted 2/13/17 4:14 PM |
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CSK
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/11 892 total posts
Name:
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Re: lending money to family
Posted by incog2
Unfortunately, she has gone through bankruptcy in the last few years. This debt was incurred due to an unforeseen situation that needed to be taken care of and also a medical situation.
Everyone has stated lots of good reasons why you shouldn't lend money to friends and family, however I have an even better reason here.
Based upon what you said above, someone has already lent them the money, they just can't pay it.
"This debt was incurred" They have the debt, they just can't make the payments. The creditor or business took a risk on them, they were not able to pay timely. you know what happens to them when they don't pay timely on medical debt and credit card debt? They get a lot of calls, they feel bad, life goes on. Maybe they file for bankruptcy again.
The only life/death situation would occur if the treatment won't be administered until a payment is made... this is not that situation. It may seem dire, it may seem bad but what actually happens to them if they don't come up with the cash right now? The answer is most likely, very little.
You can tell the relative you don't have the spare money to lend them,
You can tell them that you only have a small safety net that you can't put your family at risk
You can tell them that you'd rather they owe the bank/credit card company/hospital the money rather than you, those people are in the business of lending people money.
But however you say it, tell them No.
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| Posted 2/14/17 9:14 AM |
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Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy
Member since 3/08 10420 total posts
Name:
Momx100
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Re: lending money to family
I would only lend if I was comfortable not getting it back. I definitely would not empty out my savings unless it was life death for my parents or brother.
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| Posted 2/14/17 9:26 AM |
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MST9106
My life:)
Member since 6/06 9589 total posts
Name:
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Re: lending money to family
It would be very unwise and honestly, quite irresponsible, to lend someone THAT kind of money for their debt, especially, given her past history with credit. Don't do it.
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| Posted 2/14/17 2:16 PM |
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LIRascal
drama. daily.
Member since 3/11 7287 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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lending money to family
Would a lending institution lend them money? If the answer is no, then neither should you. These lenders have done a thorough credit history and review. They know everything, and they say "no".
You don't have their credit report, so this should be a clear indicator that they're financially irresponsible or unsound. You know in your gut that you'd never get it back.
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| Posted 2/14/17 9:17 PM |
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TheLorax
LOVE
Member since 2/06 5581 total posts
Name:
Suzanne / SuzBride
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Re: lending money to family
Posted by PearlJamChick
I would not offer up my entire savings unless someone's life literally depended on it.
If you want to help them out, then offer an amount that you're comfortable lending and comfortable never seeing again.
This! You need a safety net too. What if you or your husband suddenly experience a job loss? Or an illness? Or car problems? Really anything could happen at any time so I would be hesitant to loan out my entire savings.
On a side note, my DH and I 'loaned' over $10K to my FIL/MIL and we never saw a penny back. Their "hard times" extended and extended so they could never pay us back until we just stopped asking because we knew they were never going to pay us back. I still harbor some ill will about it because they simply live beyond their means (huge house for just the 2 of them, etc), so it is hard to sympathize.
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| Posted 2/15/17 11:23 AM |
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Justcantbe
LIF Infant
Member since 6/12 163 total posts
Name:
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lending money to family
Wouldn't lend someone that kind of money unless it was to literally save their life. Even then...with go fund me....I feel like I see one across my inbox once a week for someone I know and they always get filled up. Lending family money is like handing them a check with no expectations of getting it back. It is wrong that your entire family expects to bail them out of their poor financial decisions because you busted a gut to SAVE. I'm sure nobody will step forward to help out God forbid you lose your job.....look at how quick they are to lend a hand now?!?! Perhaps offer to come sign a loan, but be prepared to have to pay it back should they default. Unfortunately drawing up a a legal document will do no good should they default unless your willing to go after them legally....and what do you expect to get from someone who is already broke....thought things were bad with the family now....wait until your are suing this person because of your legal contract. It's terrible that anyone you know and love is putting you in this position, but I've learned over the years that family and friends who are that judgemental are not the type of people I want in my life nor my children. Good luck. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
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| Posted 2/16/17 6:32 AM |
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Jennifer
Happy
Member since 5/05 4230 total posts
Name:
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Re: lending money to family
Posted by luvbuffet
take care of your family first. offer what you can. also offer without expecting to ever see it again
This...
I completely agree.
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| Posted 2/16/17 10:19 AM |
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orchid24
PARTY OF FIVE PLEASE!
Member since 3/06 2018 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: lending money to family
I would offer only what I felt I could... a fraction of what was requested that you feel comfortable with. I understand you
want to help out and think it will cause a rift if you didn't, but I have seen family members fight over $ never returned
so it could go both ways. Good luck to you, $ issues within families/close friends are never easy.
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| Posted 2/16/17 6:32 PM |
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