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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Let's chat. When TTC #2 were you worried about finances?
So DH and I are hoping to TTC #2 by the end of the year and with $$$ so tight as it is I am worried about bringing another little one into the mix. I always said I would not let finances hold me back from having kids because at the end of the day raising a family is so much more important to me than $$$. Everyone tells me they struggled in the beginning and things were tight but it got better. I am sure this is true but I can't help stressing about it anyway. If I was 24 I wouldn't worry about having another DC so soon because time would be on my side however, at 34 1/2 and with having some fertility issues in the past I just don't feel like we can wait and I certainly don't want my DD to be an only child.
So how do you guys feel about growing your family and finances? Did you guys struggle with the same concerns? Just wondering. TIA!
Message edited 10/19/2009 10:41:29 AM.
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Posted 10/19/09 10:41 AM |
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bethb
LIF Toddler
Member since 10/08 402 total posts
Name: Beth
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Re: Let's chat. When TTC #2 were you worried about finances?
I'm only on #1, but I think finances will play a big part into when and if we have another. I grew up in a financially strapped household and it was hard. I'd rather not have that stress on my family if I can help it.
With that said, life is far from predictable... so no matter how much planning you do sometimes you just never know what lays down the road. Like that winning mega million ticket I am hoping is in my future....
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Posted 10/19/09 10:45 AM |
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Porrruss
Nya nya nya
Member since 5/05 11618 total posts
Name: Amy
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Re: Let's chat. When TTC #2 were you worried about finances?
We've been struggling with this exact issue lately, except we're thinking of #3.
I'm also older (36) so time is NOT on my side. Our feelings are that while things might be tight for awhile, in the long term I/we would regret not having a third. We'll figure the finances out later.
With #2, we just jumped right back into it without thinking because we KNEW we wanted more than 1. Yes, things were tight with me out of work for half my maternity leave, but we are totally fine now.
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Posted 10/19/09 10:47 AM |
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Mkr09
.....
Member since 5/05 7550 total posts
Name: M
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Re: Let's chat. When TTC #2 were you worried about finances?
We struggled with it as well. We do ok financially but don't have a ton of extra money every month. We also rent an apt right now and with our high debt I'm not sure if we'll be able to buy a house in the near future. So whenever we were talking about #2 we always worried about finances. The decision was made for us when I got pg while on BCP, but we feel like we will make it work. If we have to cut back on things then so be it. If my parents could survive with 4 kids and only my dad's salary then we can make it work.
We also luck out because my ILs watch DD and will also watch #2 when he/she is born next year. So we don't have to worry about the extra expense of daycare.
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Posted 10/19/09 10:48 AM |
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Rycois
Blessed with 2blue/2pink
Member since 12/05 13341 total posts
Name: J
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Re: Let's chat. When TTC #2 were you worried about finances?
I def. crunched numbers before we decided to go for #2. While I don't believe finances should 100% dictate having more children, I def. wanted to factor it into "when". We also will have 2 in daycare, and I commute to Manhattan to work - so between daycare and the LIRR, it will cost us about $2800/mo. for me TO GO to work Obviously that's not $$ that can be "found" - and I wanted to make sure we'd get by with another child.
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Posted 10/19/09 10:50 AM |
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eroxgirl
My Loves
Member since 5/05 15697 total posts
Name: Rebecca
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Re: Let's chat. When TTC #2 were you worried about finances?
This is definitely a concern for us because things are fairly tight right now, but it is so important to me to have a second child -- for my DD NOT to be an only child -- that we decided to go for it anyway. As it turns out, getting pregnant hasn't been as easy this time around and as time passes, the financial pressure gets reduced a bit because it's day care that will kill us the most. The older DD gets, the cheaper day care gets.
In my life, I've always managed to land on my feet no matter how bleak the situation, so now I have to have faith that things will work themselves out in the long run.
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Posted 10/19/09 11:01 AM |
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mrsgafforio
LIF Adult
Member since 3/07 3929 total posts
Name: Christine
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Re: Let's chat. When TTC #2 were you worried about finances?
We are not TTC #2 yet but I am def worried about $$. DS is not in daycare at the moment but we will have to put him into daycare next year. I can't imagine paying for 2 kids in daycare!! Should be interesting lol!!
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Posted 10/19/09 11:02 AM |
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monkeybride
My Everything
Member since 5/05 20541 total posts
Name:
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Re: Let's chat. When TTC #2 were you worried about finances?
Not really but we didn't have daycare expenses and I worked FT for about 8 months between 1 and 2 and saved all that money to be home with them.
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Posted 10/19/09 11:05 AM |
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MrsFlatbread
Skinny jeans are in my future
Member since 6/06 10258 total posts
Name: Baby Momma
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Re: Let's chat. When TTC #2 were you worried about finances?
I don't want to say worry...but it bothers me tremendously that I will have to pay almost $2000 per month for day care. It's like a mortgage payment....
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Posted 10/19/09 11:09 AM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: Let's chat. When TTC #2 were you worried about finances?
*Technically* I could've gone back to work this past year (in Sept) and taught again in the city but I didn't want my DD in daycare for 10-12hrs. a day and I don't have family that could watch her. I opted to stay at home and instead, watch a child or two in my home to make some $$. That's all fine and good now BUT come next year if we do have another baby of our own clearly I cannot watch someone else's children along with my 2.......at least not until the baby is a bit older so again I would be back to no $$. At that point for me to even go back to work doesn't really make to much sense. I use to take home $3K/month teaching and I figure after daycare for 2 children plus my gas commuting from Stony Brook to Queens and all the teaching expenses I incur since the city pays for nothing I would have maybe $400-500 leftover. To me, what's the point of working then? It's not enough $$ anyway for the bills we have. I would really be working to pay for daycare.
I don't know..........I am just sick of the stress of $$ and I want another baby so I feel at a loss. If I could I would sell my house and move OOS but since I bought my house at the peak of the market it's not even an option. I too am usually a believer that somehow it all works out so hopefully that is true. I want more children and a bigger family and I guess we'll just have to figure it out somehow. It shouldn't be this hard to survive and raise a family. Living in NY stinks! The high cost of a owning a home is what killed us. If I could do it over again I would've stayed in my apt. I'd be rich!
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Posted 10/19/09 11:13 AM |
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mommy2bella
Where does time go?
Member since 12/05 9747 total posts
Name: Kelly
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Re: Let's chat. When TTC #2 were you worried about finances?
Bella is 4. I had her at 28. We always knew that the more likely scenario is having #2 around or after when she started kindergarten because the daycare bill would have killed us.
Now with the economy and how up and down our jobs have been, I am concerned because the time is just about here to TTC "on schedule" (I have been toying with it back and forth for two years)
I don't want a larger than 5 year age gap, but I definitely think that I want another child. Wating so long has been necessary, but there is a divide in me now at 32. I like our life, and our threesome. I HATE worrying about money and feel like it would be much more with 2.
Money is a factor...so is time.
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Posted 10/19/09 11:15 AM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: Let's chat. When TTC #2 were you worried about finances?
Posted by MrsFlatbread
I don't want to say worry...but it bothers me tremendously that I will have to pay almost $2000 per month for day care. It's like a mortgage payment....
I wish that was my mortgage payment. Let's just say if I put 2 kids in daycare to even try and go back to work it would cost me about $6K/month just for those two things. About $2K for daycare along with my $4k/month mortgage payment. It's insane!
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Posted 10/19/09 11:16 AM |
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MrsFlatbread
Skinny jeans are in my future
Member since 6/06 10258 total posts
Name: Baby Momma
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Re: Let's chat. When TTC #2 were you worried about finances?
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by MrsFlatbread
I don't want to say worry...but it bothers me tremendously that I will have to pay almost $2000 per month for day care. It's like a mortgage payment....
I wish that was my mortgage payment.
I didnt say with taxes! That was just the mortgage!
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Posted 10/19/09 11:22 AM |
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aliwnec10
mom of 3 boys
Member since 4/06 11426 total posts
Name: Ali
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Re: Let's chat. When TTC #2 were you worried about finances?
Posted by bethb
I'm only on #1, but I think finances will play a big part into when and if we have another. I grew up in a financially strapped household and it was hard. I'd rather not have that stress on my family if I can help it.
With that said, life is far from predictable... so no matter how much planning you do sometimes you just never know what lays down the road. Like that winning mega million ticket I am hoping is in my future....
ITA on all counts!
I'd honestly love to have another baby, but we both work FT and so for various reasons we'll be waiting until i can hopefully go PT. I suppose we're doing this more for daycare reasons than anything. I don't think my in laws could do 2 kids at one time, sometimes 3 kids if they have my nephew that day.
Honestly i'm one who doesn't jump into something lightly. I like to have a plan. I like to have a parachute if needed. Not having enough money stresses me out too much.
Message edited 10/19/2009 11:25:53 AM.
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Posted 10/19/09 11:25 AM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name: LB
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Re: Let's chat. When TTC #2 were you worried about finances?
our finances are even tighter than ever now since we just bought a house - and we knew this going into TTC#2. you just find a way to make it work. i wanted to have 2 kids close together in age and i'm willing to sacrifice a lot to be able to do just that
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Posted 10/19/09 11:30 AM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: Let's chat. When TTC #2 were you worried about finances?
Posted by MrsFlatbread
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by MrsFlatbread
I don't want to say worry...but it bothers me tremendously that I will have to pay almost $2000 per month for day care. It's like a mortgage payment....
I wish that was my mortgage payment.
I didnt say with taxes! That was just the mortgage!
I hear ya! Mine is with taxes! So at least I'm not the only one being tortured!!
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Posted 10/19/09 11:31 AM |
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Goldi0218
My miracles!
Member since 12/05 23902 total posts
Name: Leslie
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Re: Let's chat. When TTC #2 were you worried about finances?
I made peace a long time ago with the fact that my children will always have enough, but not a heck of a lot of "extra" things. I grew up in privilege. I was blessed. My children won't know any different. They will learn to appreciate what they have just like I have.
I will ALWAYS worry about finances. I am reminded of the countless threads on TTC regarding owning a house before having kids. I dont own a home. I have one child and odds are I wont be a homeowner until after I have my second. Big deal. My parents didnt have a home of their own until baby #3 - I was baby #4. They all survived.
However, if we are forced to "share our 'wealth'" (cough cough) my financial worries will sky rocket. G-d bless America.
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Posted 10/19/09 12:13 PM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name: Stephanie
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Re: Let's chat. When TTC #2 were you worried about finances?
I am always worried about finances but we find a way to make it work
I knew that I wanted 2 children so we cut where we have to
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Posted 10/19/09 12:24 PM |
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Annie91606
Brotherly love
Member since 12/07 1816 total posts
Name: Anne
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Re: Let's chat. When TTC #2 were you worried about finances?
We waited a bit. When DS was 6 months old DH's company was bought, and it was a 50/50 whether or not he would lose his job. I worked FT, but we would be VERY strapped on just my income. I was 36, but waited anyway because none of us needed that stress.
Luckily, he did get to keep his job (but we had to relocate). Then we worked on TTC#2 and I am now 11 weeks pregnant. Probably for the best that we waited anyway since I don't think I am cut out to be a "two under 2" mama.
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Posted 10/19/09 12:34 PM |
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krashnburn
I am Batman!
Member since 5/05 4093 total posts
Name: I'm Batman, I tell you!
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Re: Let's chat. When TTC #2 were you worried about finances?
Drives me crazy to think about. Daycare for 2 will kill us. I wanted to have them 4+ years apart to help foot that bill, but DH wanted 2 years between them. So, hopefully we'll compromise at 3.5 years between them and have to worry about daycare for 2 for 1.5 years and I'll be saving all of my tax refunds for that!
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Posted 10/19/09 12:47 PM |
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mtnmama
Member since 5/06 4794 total posts
Name:
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Message edited 10/20/2009 12:10:41 PM.
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Posted 10/19/09 12:55 PM |
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LovingLife
Blessed
Member since 8/06 2818 total posts
Name: Blessed
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Re: Let's chat. When TTC #2 were you worried about finances?
I specifically logged on to do a search on this topic.....
I am having the same worries....DH and I always discussed and wanted to have a big family - 4 kids including step-daughter.
Money is definitely playing a role on me deciding to move forward on our plans. DH is a "we'll make it work" "where you can feed 3 you can feed 4" type of guy.
Decisions...decisions
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Posted 10/19/09 1:10 PM |
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MST9106
My life:)
Member since 6/06 9589 total posts
Name:
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Re: Let's chat. When TTC #2 were you worried about finances?
Of course, that's why I want my little ones to be 3.5 years apart so that once one is out of diapers, I'll have the second bebe...once the first one is out of college, the next one will go in.
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Posted 10/19/09 1:14 PM |
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Kelly9904
Mommy to 2 amazing little boys
Member since 5/05 9306 total posts
Name: Kelly
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Re: Let's chat. When TTC #2 were you worried about finances?
Posted by MST9106
Of course, that's why I want my little ones to be 3.5 years apart so that once one is out of diapers, I'll have the second bebe...once the first one is out of college, the next one will go in.
This is/was our plan too. $$ does play a role because although I am willing to sacrifice for my family, DH and I want to provide a certain life for our children and we dont want to ever go into debt (mortgage excluded of course).
So while I really want to TTC now, I am constantly going back and forth because waiting another year would be a better idea for us financially.
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Posted 10/19/09 2:09 PM |
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Dani922
Here's to new beginnings
Member since 10/07 7260 total posts
Name: Danielle
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Re: Let's chat. When TTC #2 were you worried about finances?
Yes, but we make it work. Some days it sure is stressful as all heck, but other days it's not so bad. The kids have everything they need, and probably a lot more too. We don't do daycare (I work PT instead because if I worked FT, the increase in my salary would pay for daycare basically), so we didn't have that increase to worry about, but basically doing every child expense x2 can still be a killer. I know I want a third child & money is a definite factor in that too. We rent right now & we'll need a bigger place before we can have a third & right now, a bigger place isn't in the budget. I worry sometimes if we'll ever be able to do it because I feel like I'll regret forever not having the big family I want, but I realize we thought we'd never make it work with #1, then it wouldn't work with #2... well, we made it work then & we'll eventually do it again right?
When we tried for DS, I knew we really wanted another child & I wanted them to be close enough in age that they could still grow up together. I wanted to own a home first & have higher saleries, but I'm 22, it's just not happening yet. I've come to realize that my family is much more important than how much money we have. My parents have 4 kids & swear they were never able to afford us all. We didn't have everything in the world we wanted, but I certainly didn't suffer one bit as a child. I don't think my children are suffering either.
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Posted 10/19/09 6:33 PM |
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