Re: Living in an Upper-Class Area, Inspired by Great Neck thread

DH and I both grew up in those types of areas - Roslyn Heights and Syosset - lands of one-ups-manship. They (our parents) chose their homes based on the quality of the school districts (Herricks and Syosset) and they were (and still are) two of the best school districts around. If we could afford the taxes, we would buy in either of those two places for the same reason. In other words, when the time comes, our choices for homes will be largely based on schools. Should snobbery live next door too us, we can handle it.

My father was self-employed and blue collar and my mom did not join a tennis club. We always had what we needed, which was not necessarily what we wanted. Sure I would have loved a Mercedes too, but I got a Cutlass Station Wagon. TRUST ME, they did not live a rich person's lifestyle - but they could have. My family had the money, just not the attitude.

I too was teased and tortured in school too but mainly because I did not look like everyone else (I was the fat kid)- not based on what I had (or didn't have) financially. However, every kid was picked on for one thing or another. As a parent, you have to hope that you can instill a decent value system in your children and tech them to rise above the bull-poop.

But nowadays there are different elements to bullying that did not exist when I was a kid. It reaches the masses through the internet, text messaging, and cell phone use. Teen suicide was not as much of a problem. the competetive edge was a lot less intense. With all that is out there to make our lives easier, I would think it is that much harder to be a kid nowadays.

Message edited 12/4/2007 8:37:55 PM.

Re: Living in an Upper-Class Area, Inspired by Great Neck thread

Re: Living in an Upper-Class Area, Inspired by Great Neck thread

Re: Living in an Upper-Class Area, Inspired by Great Neck thread

Re: Living in an Upper-Class Area, Inspired by Great Neck thread

I went to Merrick Ave in the 80's too!
I graduated JFK in 1987...
Do we know each other??

I didn't think that MAJHS was nearly as bad a JFK. My parents both work hard - my dad was a teacher and they did instill values in us. If we wanted something we had to work for it if it was above their spending limit...jeans, shoes, whatever.

At JFK there was no diversity - at MAJHS you had kids from both South & North Merrick - that was the diversity there.

The whole thing still exists and that's just the way it is. The pressures are even greater today - high school, grades, SAT scores, getting into college and the CLOTHES...uggs, the jeans, etc.

Re: Living in an Upper-Class Area, Inspired by Great Neck thread

I have lived in Great Neck for two years. It is not all it is cracked up to be. It is way over priced and not worth the aggravation.

Re: Living in an Upper-Class Area, Inspired by Great Neck thread

Re: Living in an Upper-Class Area, Inspired by Great Neck thread

I laugh in the face of conformity.

eta...HAH! Take That Conformity!!!

Message edited 12/4/2007 5:27:31 PM.

Re: Living in an Upper-Class Area, Inspired by Great Neck thread

Re: Living in an Upper-Class Area, Inspired by Great Neck thread

Posted by Ambersmom

Posted by racheeeee

I laugh in the face of conformity.

eta...HAH! Take That Conformity!!!

I would assume anyone that listened to the Sex Pistols and The Exploited would hardly ever be considered "a conformist"...anarchist, maybe

Re: Living in an Upper-Class Area, Inspired by Great Neck thread

I think affluent areas and the attitudes of the people that live there vary a lot. I grew up in Huntington and NONE of us had brand new BMWs, Mercedes, etc. If you saw a BMW in the student parking lot, chances are it was 5-10 years old and belonged to someone's mom or dad. It just wasn't a snobby environment. It's been awhile since I graduated, so things may have changed.

I also think that, to some extent, shows like My Super Sweet 16 and Real Housewives of Orange County dont' make things much better. The focus of those shows is on having more than your neighbor or your classmate.

ETA: Now that I'm thinking back, I remember that we actually used to make fun of the kids from one of the neighboring towns. It seemed like they all drove Cadillacs and BMWs and were very flashy about how much money they had. We were like W T F We thought it was comical because it seemed that they were just trying to show everyone how much money they had. One of my friends went to school in this neighboring town and she said it was absolutely awful.

Message edited 12/4/2007 5:54:15 PM.

Re: Living in an Upper-Class Area, Inspired by Great Neck thread

Posted by marriedinportjeff

Posted by Bxgell2

I'm grappling with this right now, with my daughter, and it's particularly personal because I grew up in one of those neighborhoods, and truly had an awful, awful experience.

First, about my experience - I grew up in Great Neck. I had an awful experience, I really did. While my parents were well off and certainly could have afforded to buy me anything I wanted, they made it their life mission to teach me every lesson under the book, from understanding the value of money, to having confidence in yourself. I appreciate it, I really do, but getting the point where I am now, took some really difficult times - I was simply RIDICULED by my classmates. Every morning they would throw food on, and PEE on my car, all because I drove a USED VOLVO, not a brand new BMW or Mercedes. I was ridiculed by my own friends because my mom bought me Gap jeans instead of Cavalucci's. It was awful, but at the same time, I stuck to my guns, and it made me the better person that I am today.

Right now, we live in the 'burbs of Philly in a nice area - jewish, diverse and liberal. But the school district isn't the best. We are *considering* moving to the main line area, which is a lot like Great Neck, and when I think about my daughter going through all the crap I went through - all the teasing and bullying just because she doesn't wear a certain brand of jeans - I get a pit in my stomach.

For me, because of what I went through, it's a very real consideration. I'm starting to lean on the side of just staying where we are...

you just summarized my childhood too I will say, that enduring that BS for over a decade definitely strengthens a kid's character... but I would NEVER EVER want to relive it

Re: Living in an Upper-Class Area, Inspired by Great Neck thread

Message edited 12/7/2007 1:40:16 AM.

Re: Living in an Upper-Class Area, Inspired by Great Neck thread

Re: Living in an Upper-Class Area, Inspired by Great Neck thread

Message edited 1/14/2008 8:55:37 AM.

Re: Living in an Upper-Class Area, Inspired by Great Neck thread

Message edited 11/15/2011 2:18:13 PM.

Re: Living in an Upper-Class Area, Inspired by Great Neck thread

Re: Living in an Upper-Class Area, Inspired by Great Neck thread

My thoughts are, you're going to run into bullying/snobbery whereever you buy a house so you may as well buy in the best school district you can.

That's not to say you should buy above your means or buy in an area without regard to the other things that you'll be paying for down the line.

I grew up in, at least what I considered, a nice area (Centerport). I didn't see the keeping up with the Jones' mentality that everyone else seemed to encounter other than my sister desperate for the designer clothes that everyone was wearing but it was the last thing I really cared about. I'm not sure why but I'm hoping it's genetic.

If you are buying in an affluent area, you will spend more money doing activities. Not because you're intent on keeping up with the Joneses but because that's how your child is going to make friends. I've seen it first hand how early on friendships are made & see now that I made mistakes sending my son to activities with our friend's sons rather than his future classmates.

Re: Living in an Upper-Class Area, Inspired by Great Neck thread

I understand that as parents, we worry about our kids' future so much and want a safe, nurturing environment for them to grow up in.

But as a high school teacher in an upper middle class neighborhood where all the seniors have their own cars (not necessarily BMWs though), I must stress that most teenagers are caring, compassionate, and kind. I know it's hard to believe in a world where My Super Sweet 16 and Laguna Beach seems to be the norm, but overall, my kids are good kids. I would be proud for my own children to grow up in the community in which I work.

We have bullies. We have kids that are intimidating, that tease others. They are everywhere.

There is certainly competition regarding clothes, purses, jewelry. And that exists everywhere too. Regardless of socio-economic status.

So... in response to the original post:
I would NOT move into a neighborhood where my family will be the poorest family because I don't want my children feeling like they have less, or are worth less, than others. That will certainly influence my choice of neighborhoods. But I do not think that rich kids = poor values or a lack of appreciation of money and hard work. If I had the money to live in an upper class neighborhood with a stronger school district, I would (for the sake of the school district).

Re: Living in an Upper-Class Area, Inspired by Great Neck thread

I have a friend who owns a general contractor company (commerical, skyscrapers) ... he has made a lot of $$$ over the years and he moved to a very affluent neighborhood in Northern NJ. He and his wife hate it. They are not like the other neighbors. He drives a Ford Pick up truck and says he feels like the hired help when he drops the kids off at play dates. It's a whole different lifestyle than what he is. It doesn't make it bad or him bad .. but you should know what your expectations and the towns expectations are before settling.

My friend bought in a very affluent Westchester neghborhood. They could afford the house and taxes, but not the mommy & me type classes (which are more $$$ than in other areas). My friend works and all the other mothers/neighbors do not. They all wear fancy clothes and she shops at Khol's. She's not comfortable there so I think it is something to consider.

Re: Living in an Upper-Class Area, Inspired by Great Neck thread

After teaching in Cold Spring Harbor for two years, I can honestly say this: I would NOT want to raise children there. Period. I found that the parents were even worse than the kids.

The kids had this sense of entitlement, even in first grade--when I'd tell them to pick up their mess, they'd say things like "that's not my job, that's the maid's job".

I completely understand where you're coming from, and I think it's GREAT that your parents instilled in you a sense that every material object should be earned.

This is just my opinion, but I'd much rather raise my family in a middle-class area.

Re: Living in an Upper-Class Area, Inspired by Great Neck thread

I grew up in E Meadow and I came across plenty of snobs and "japs" at the schools there.

IMO, it's everywhere on LI.

Re: Living in an Upper-Class Area, Inspired by Great Neck thread

This is actually one of the reasons why DH and I don't want to live on LI and we swore we wouldn't. We both grew up in upper middle class areas with all the things involved in that. Thank god we are both normal and I think kids are worse today. But, as we get older, and have dealt with some major family tragedies and events this year, I am not sure we should move away. We'll probably end up there when we buy a house to be close to our parents.

Re: Living in an Upper-Class Area, Inspired by Great Neck thread

Re: Living in an Upper-Class Area, Inspired by Great Neck thread

honestly, its not about the money or the size of the house, it's how the kids are raised. Money does not make someone a snob, neither does lifestyle. I personaly would not take a town's "snobbiness" into consideration when buying a house. If better quality school disctricts come with "snobbier" people, then so be it. As a parent you know this and hopefully are able to redirect your child's mindset. We are all teased as kids,whether rich or poor, skinny or fat. I would just rather my child be in a better school district when it happens. JMO