MAJOR PROGRESS!!!! updated: not really any progress at all

as many of you proabbly know i have to keep my family life and my married life very seprate.

my dad doesnt approve of my marriage (even though he has never even met DH)

and therefore my mom is under his control ove rthe subject too. she doesnt come over when dh is here (only once in a very blue moon) and the kids have never even met him EVER!

my dad wont allow them to.

my mom and dh get along GREAT but she holds back way too much becuase i think she feels guilty to my dad if she likes DH.


Anyway, so holidays are always hard, i am alwasy forced to choose between my family and my husband....

well, i put my foot down this year! i said dh IS COMING with me this year!
(to my grandmas for christmas eve)

EVERYONE wants kevin to be part of teh family --EXCEPT my dad.

everyone knows he is coming, (i dont know if my mom told my dad or not)
and i said if he doesnt like it, he doesnt have to come.

So, im REALLY excited i dont have to choose this time....

BUT im REALLY nervous too

will my dad come? will there be a fight? will seeing us together help him get over it?
how will the kids react?

Message edited 12/21/2005 3:25:44 PM.

Re: MAJOR PROGRESS!!!!

Good for you!

I really really hope that your Dad is able to get over whatever has made him dislike your DH so much so that your family can enjoy a wonderful holiday.

Or, at the least, he can just **** it up for one night.

Good luck!

Re: MAJOR PROGRESS!!!!

yes me too. but to be honest, i doubt he will even come while were there.

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well, we shall see!

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POWER TO YOU!!!!!!!you are an adult and u made the right choice in my mind.

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thank you!

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Good luck!!!

And I just wanna say- I think it is very big of your dh to go knowing the way your dad feels.....that takes courage, and maturity!!!

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Good Luck, hope your dad comes around! Its the holidays. Maybe he will have a change of heart!
Good Luck to you!

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Jess, I am so happy for you that you took a stand! And I know how stressed you must feel over doing it. Whether or not your Dad does celebrate with you, making the decision to be this bold and brave is positive.

I truly hope this is the beginning of the wall breaking down

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good for you! i hope it all goes well.

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Good for you - I think you totally did the right thing. And if he doesn't show, he's the one who looks bad. But I do hope he does show and that it all goes well.

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I'm glad you took a stand and hope things work out. I know it will be stressful but just remember that progress is being made. Hang in there

Re: MAJOR PROGRESS!!!! update at bottom

Well, so much for being happy and relieved and excited------

my dad just calle dme aand said "if he goes im not going and neither are the kids"

so now i have to make a choice. i love how i fought with DH to take off of work .it was so hard.

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I am so sorry . . . .

the devilish side of me says to just not tell him your DH is coming, but I know that is hard, especially on a holiday.

I wish I had more advice to offer

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It is such a shame that you have to go through this, especially around the holidays.. I lost both of my parents before I hit 21 at different times in my life.. It must be so hard that your family (dad) won't give your dh a chance, life is so precious and so short.. Sending you hugs...

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Why doesn't your father like you DH if he has never met him? Sorry if it's too personal, I was just curious

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Honestly. I would call his bluff and bring your DH. And then I would bring DH to EVERY SINGLE FAMILY FUNCTION YOU CAN. Eventually he's going to have to show up to something that your husband ateends. Your dad doesn't have to approve of it, but he needs to learn to s uck it up and deal. JMHO.

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Your Dad needs to grow up...Hes acting like a spolied brat. BRING DH, let your Dad stay home then. Its not your fault and you shouldnt suffer. IF he wants to , then let him. You have to choose your battles and I say that this man is now your family and you need to stick up for that.

Your Dad will end up looking like the silly one, and hopefully THAT will make him come to his senses and see its not worth it in the end.

Giving in just makes him feel right and just and he will continue to do so.

If it turns out badly you can re-think it later, but if I were you, I would make a stand to show that your a married adult and need some respect as well .

Good luck

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i agree that i should just bring dh, but then i wont see my little sisters and brother.... and to me thats really important.
i can care less about distant relatives and my stupid dad. its the kids im upset about not seeing. its not christmas w/o them.
the best part is he said not to tell my mother he called me! i so am onc ei fully wake up.


mosh.......dont worry it ok, i dont mind answering... no hes never met dh. he doesnt like him becuase i was 17 when we met and he was older. my dad calls him a pedofile which he certainly is not. it gets me really mad. its been 5 years, he just needs to get over it.


thanks guys, sorry to vent, i just am going stir crazy

Message edited 12/18/2005 11:38:32 AM.

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this is true.. i would imagine they would end up coming with my mom. he cant take away christmas form them right???

they are 12, 8 & 6

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I'm glad it's working out, Jess!

To be nosey, what was their problem with your DH?

He seemed pretty nice to me (for all 5 minutes that I spoke to him )