Moms of potty trained boys... Time to pick your brains. Long!

I know I have asked questions before.

I KNOW I have at least 100 potty trained kids with disabilities under my belt

But now I have this one little shaggy haired monkey who is REALLY a thorn in my side

How old was your DS when he was potty trained?

How did you know he was ready?

How long did it take?

How persistent were you?

What tricks worked?

Here is what I have tried (and please read this completely so you don't advise me to do this ):

I have a prize bag with goodies. He knows what is in there. He gets a super hero sticker for sitting and trying even if he doesn't produce.

Anything in the toilet gets a prize. The first time he tried he got a sticker, cried about the prize (Super hero stuff - books, cars, etc).

He had a major fit, I explained to him (for the 100th time) what he needs to do to get a prize.

The next time he sat down, he looked at the prize bag, and told me "Mommy, I'm not getting a present. Oh well. Too bad."

And that was it. He wrote off the prizes completely. And they are things he really wants. The behaviorist in me is telling me that they truly aren't reinforcers (no matter how much he "wants" them) unless they change behavior, and the mommy in me is telling the behaviorist to shut the eff up

He still wakes up in the morning saturated (one of the readiness signs is waking up dry)

He will, most of the time, sit in his poop without telling me unless it is a hard poop and is uncomfortable to sit on. Otherwise, he couldn't care less.

We have done the frequent trips on the potty when wearing underwear. But he has yet to go on the potty. He always has accidents, it upsets him, and then that's it.

We use the potty ring on the regular toilet - think I'll have better success with a little kid potty?

He wants to wear underwear but doesn't want to put the work in. He asked to wear his Spiderman underwear this morning. When I told him that means he has to make pee pee and poopee on the potty, he said "No."

I am sending the underwear in with extra clothes today to see if they can get any success out of him. There was oner teacher he would go for who is not there anymore. She was the 3's teacher ad when the classes combined at the end of the day she would treat him like the big kids,so he would go for her.

He insists he is still a big boy even though he isn't wearing underwear (DH taunts him )

Is he just not ready yet? Should I just let it go? Will there be a moment of clarity where he will discover he should just do it already?

I would say, on a scale of 1-10, 1 is completely lax and 10 is neurotic about this, I'm about a 4. I'll be honest, I could do better. should I up the number a little, or just leave it alone?

Thanks for reading all this!

Re: Moms of potty trained boys... Time to pick your brains. Long!

I'm the mom of a not yet potty trained girl, but still wanted to add my two cents.

From what you are saying, it really seems like he is just not ready.

MY DD did ok for a few weeks, then lost interest. She doesn't ask to wear undies or even want to sit on the potty. we have tried boht, she has her princess potty and sitting on the big potty. And she has made pee pee in both. Even pooped on her little potty, told DH she had to go and just went.

But now, nothing. But she can pull her pants down so I think maybe we may try again.

I would let him be and not push it.

Re: Moms of potty trained boys... Time to pick your brains. Long!

My boy isn't potty trained, but here's the thing, I don't want to torture him or us. He isn't ready, and it sounds like Cailen isn't either. Don't make it harder on yourself then it already is

And just FYI, the AVERAGE age for boys is 37 months, which is 3 years, 1 month, so you aren't "behind" or anything with him

Re: Moms of potty trained boys... Time to pick your brains. Long!

The only suggestion I would have to make is to maybe get a potty. It was definately a turning point for Caden...

Re: Moms of potty trained boys... Time to pick your brains. Long!

I didn't read it all through but what I did read makes me think he just isn't ready yet. DS is 3 1/2 and JUST got potty trained this weekend! Now he is in underwear and fully trained (during the day at least ) He does ask to go potty as soon as he wakes up but is still pretty wet.
I really think kids will do it once they are ready

Re: Moms of potty trained boys... Time to pick your brains. Long!

For us, DS really did it on his own time, with little prodding from me. He started trying and occasionally going pee on the potty at about 28 months- did it for a month or so and then lost complete interest. So I dropped it. We tried again about 2 months before he was going to be turning 3. He was doing pretty well, then we went on vacation and he regressed a bit (he didn't want to stop having fun to go potty.) When we got home we went back to it and a couple of days later he was pretty much trained. The poop took a little longer and because of that he did have a couple of accidents, but I would say he was completely trained by his 3rd birthday.

Re: Moms of potty trained boys... Time to pick your brains. Long!

Sounds like he's not quite ready... The incentive is there, he just needs to want it.

With my DS, he hated the poop diaper and he was pretty much trained for doing poop on the potty by 2.5. However, going pee on the potty took longer. He just didn't care. He didn't want to be told what to do.

When we back off a little, we waited for him to be the boss. the day he looked at me like this and I asked "what's the matter?" he said, pee pee is coming, so we rushed to the potty and he went. That's when I didn't turn back. I put him in underwear and never looked back. Sure we had a ton of accidents the first day, but by day 2, less, and by day 3 I could say he was trained. the key was no pull ups or diapers, even for nap or when we went out. He trained the week before he turned 3.

Re: Moms of potty trained boys... Time to pick your brains. Long!

DS was 3 and 4 months by the time he was trained. I had tried when he was younger and he didn't want any part of it.

Then he started pooping an not telling me and was getting these terrible diaper rashes one after another. I finally told him that, that was it. He keeps getting a boo boo on his hiney from the diaper and I said it's not going to get better unless he goes potty on the toilet. He said ok. So I printed a Thomas the Train potty training sticker chart and I let him pick out stickers at the store. Then every time he peed he picked one sticker to put on. If he pooped he got 2 stickers. After he completed the whole page we went and picked out a prize.
Pooping took a whole month more so he kept going in underwear. One day I caught him wanting to go so I picked him up and made him sit on the toilet until he went. I hugged him and told him not to be scared to try and he did and he was so happy. He never went again.

I knew he wasn't going to wake up dry at night be he would have his last sippy of milk before bed. So actually this week (he is 3 and 10 months) he has been waking up dry and when we are done with this last pack of pull ups I am done with them.

I also agree with other posters, don't do pull up durning the day. Most kids know it is diaper. It also only took a few days before he didn't have accidents.

My DD is 2 and 7 months and wants nothing to do with it unless her brother is on it and she can cheer him on.

I also thought him to pee standing up. DH and DS also have peeing contests and they pee together

Re: Moms of potty trained boys... Time to pick your brains. Long!

Re: Moms of potty trained boys... Time to pick your brains. Long!

Its hard because hes in daycare, my DS is home so we did the 3 day training with no pants or underwear, I read about it on baby center and it WORKED in literally 2 days, we are totally diaper free except for nigts...

Re: Moms of potty trained boys... Time to pick your brains. Long!

I potty trained the old fashioned cold turkey way I will do it the same way with Ryan. Johnny was 2 years, 10 months.

It took about a week and half total BUT after 2 days it was only an accident here and there.

I just let him hang out in underwear and stayed home a lot!! Of course he wet his underwear, but I would take him to the potty every 1/2 hour and just made him sit. If he ended up going we just clapped and cheered like crazy and when he had an accident we reassured him it was ok, that we would just get him in fresh underwear and start again.

I really truly believe any child can be potty trained this way..I don't always buy into "all the readiness signs have to be there". My siblings and I were trained before the age of 2 and we didn't always show signs. They just learn that being wet isn't fun, going on the potty is what big kids do and they eventually get it. I'm not saying EVERY single child will do it this way but I bet a lot could be.

FM me if you have any questions. and good luck!!

Re: Moms of potty trained boys... Time to pick your brains. Long!

Liza...my DD is 3 1/2 and I could have written your post WORD FOR WORD

Re: Moms of potty trained boys... Time to pick your brains. Long!

Posted by KateDevine

My boy isn't potty trained, but here's the thing, I don't want to torture him or us. He isn't ready, and it sounds like Cailen isn't either. Don't make it harder on yourself then it already is

And just FYI, the AVERAGE age for boys is 37 months, which is 3 years, 1 month, so you aren't "behind" or anything with him

Re: Moms of potty trained boys... Time to pick your brains. Long!

Chris will be 3 in May....so our kids are close in age ....

Chris could care less about a dirty diaper and will sit in it all day

Plus he wakes up soaked

I am not even attempting potty training until the summer and then I think I will do that thing when you stay inside a full week and condition them to do it

i am fearing this more than bfing!!!

Re: Moms of potty trained boys... Time to pick your brains. Long!

Posted by maybebaby

I potty trained the old fashioned cold turkey way I will do it the same way with Ryan. Johnny was 2 years, 10 months.

It took about a week and half total BUT after 2 days it was only an accident here and there.

I just let him hang out in underwear and stayed home a lot!! Of course he wet his underwear, but I would take him to the potty every 1/2 hour and just made him sit. If he ended up going we just clapped and cheered like crazy and when he had an accident we reassured him it was ok, that we would just get him in fresh underwear and start again.

I really truly believe any child can be potty trained this way..I don't always buy into "all the readiness signs have to be there". My siblings and I were trained before the age of 2 and we didn't always show signs. They just learn that being wet isn't fun, going on the potty is what big kids do and they eventually get it. I'm not saying EVERY single child will do it this way but I bet a lot could be.

FM me if you have any questions. and good luck!!

Re: Moms of potty trained boys... Time to pick your brains. Long!

How old was your DS when he was potty trained?

DS # 1 31 months (2 years and 7 months)
DS# 2 32 months (2 years and 8 months)

How did you know he was ready?
# 1 would hide everytime he peed or pooped, then he would seek me out and tell me what he just did "Mom, I wet!" or "Mom, stinky poop!"

# 2 just told me one day that he wanted to wear underwear like his brother.

How long did it take?
Less than a week

How persistent were you?
Cold turkey, right into underwear, lots of accidents, constantly asking if they needed to go. Once they went once, they seem to have "gotten it". It just CLICKED.

What tricks worked?
There are no tricks. Seriously, when they are ready, they are just READY. I am a firm believer that you canNOT force a child who is just not ready to use the potty. No stickers, no rewards, no treats work. When they are ready, they will just do it.

One thing that I think may have helped, was watching DH pee. Neither of my boys have ever peed sitting down. I clean a LOT in the bathroom! LOL

Edited to add: DD was the same way. She was 26 months old, and was hiding and asking to be changed, so we went into underwear, had a few accidents, but within a week was completely trained.

Message edited 2/24/2010 9:52:23 AM.

Re: Moms of potty trained boys... Time to pick your brains. Long!

DS was not potty trained until he was 3 1/2.

One morning he woke up and said "I want to use the potty" - that's how we knew.

From that moment on, he used the potty every time, night and day, pee and poop. So, it didn't take long at all.

We had tried all the other "training" methods that you mentioned, and nothing worked and it was very stressful for all of us. I decided that he would do it when he was ready and no sooner. Every day when he got up, we'd ask if he wanted to use the potty and if he said no, we said okay maybe tomorrow. In the stores, we'd take him past the little boy underwear and he'd always find one he liked - we told him he could wear them as soon as he went on the potty. We bought him some so he knew he could have them whenever he went on the potty. He would wake up dry every morning but still didn't want to go on the potty. Physically he was ready but emotionally not. Instead of accidents and tears and stress, we just waited. I don't really believe in potty "training" but more potty "readiness". As soon as he was ready, he did it and we haven't had one problem. We have those stupid pull-ups sitting in his dresser because we used about two (when we were trying everything) and he never needed them once he decided he wanted to use the potty. It was the easiest potty "training" ever, once we stopped actually trying to make him use it. We would encourage but not force him. Worked great and we've never had to change a sheet because he's always gotten up at night to go - even at 3AM once.

Sometimes patience works best.

Re: Moms of potty trained boys... Time to pick your brains. Long!

Hey everyone - thanks for your responses.....

I really am at a loss of what to do. He will look right at me and tell me he is making pee pee when he goes - he is so aware!

Today in daycare I sent in underwear and extra clothes. He held it all day. Even during his nap, when they changed him into a pull up, the pull up was dry. Eventually he couldn't hold it anymore and had an accident - all over his shoes and socks!

They sent him home in underwear so we are still trying tonight.

I am not pushing it that much, I just want to try and see if it is something he is receptive to.

I feel with him, this is hard for him to do because he just doesn't want to have to think about stopping what he is doing to go.

Tonight he was a little more receptive and sat longer. He asked to see what was in his prize bag, asked me to read the potty book to him, and we even sat together and made up a story about a snake named Henry who was trying to make pee pee on the potty (he would sit on the potty, the mommy would hear "ssss" and get excited, thinking he was making pee pee, but no, he was just making the "ssss" sound because he was a snake and that's what snakes do. Then, mommy heard the "ssss" sound and thought he was just making the sound but this time - he really was making pee pee on the potty. An award winning story )

But still no pee pee.

I am going to give it the old college try and see where it goes. I'm not sure he is 100% ready, but there's a part of me that doesn't want to short change him, just in case he is.....

Ahhh, motherhood!

Re: Moms of potty trained boys... Time to pick your brains. Long!

How old was your DS when he was potty trained? 23 months (day trained. He is 25 months and stays dry 50% of the time at night but still sleeps in a pull up)

How did you know he was ready? At 19 or 20 months he would tell us when he was wet

How long did it take?
Anout thre months

How persistent were you?
Daycare worked very much with him. We were persistent on the evenings and weekends but we did not push him

What tricks worked?
Postive reinforcements. He would get a special prize (a skittle or an an M & M) when he went