Moms who had their Second child

Did you have a hard time leaving your first one to go to the hospital? I'm completely freaking out about this. My son will only be about 18 months and the thought of leaving him totally stresses me. I know he will be in good hands but still.
How did u do it?

Re: Moms who had their Second child

I would love to know too because I am dreading the hospital stay. (I am due in just over 6 weeks). I am a SAHM and my DD is 4 and I have NEVER been apart from her for more than a few short hours. I am so nervous about not being with her morning, noon, and night. I don't know how I am going to do it.

Re: Moms who had their Second child

well you do it b.c you have no choice whatsoever..
and looking back i was worried too but knew DD would be in good hands and that i was having another child which was truly the best gift i ever gave DD. at 2 yrs old she did totally fine w.o me and i stressed for nothing. she is 5 now and doesn't even remember...and she doesn't recall a time without her litle brother.
so cut yourself some slack..it's going to be totally fine. it is a small moment (time wise-not important wise) and it's really all for the greater good of your family!

ETA when the time comes and your are in labor or prepping to go it actually becomes kind of put on the back burner b.c you are SO focused on the baby and the birth! then after the baby is born you are so thrilled and excited to have them "meet" that again, it's not so awful at all! :)

Message edited 1/30/2013 10:42:57 PM.

Moms who had their Second child

An idea is to maybe start spending a few hours away from them a little before your due date, just so you BOTH are prepared, KWIM? Maybe even a sleepover at Grandma's beforehand, for example.

If you could maybe leave them with a trusted family member for a few hours here and there, just so it doesn't come as a big shock (for either of you).

THe good thing is, it's only temporary - and then you have a sweet little addition.

Message edited 1/30/2013 10:54:32 PM.

Re: Moms who had their Second child

just went through it last week. it was tough, add to that my hormones and i was

i was facetiming with my son one morning when my OB came in to check on me. of course I was tearing up as he walked in because I was saying goodbye. He gave me the baby blues lecture

my son did have one tough day and that was enough to make me decide to go home on day 3 instead of day 4 but looking back - he was fine. He was being spoiled rotten by everyone while I was in the hospital. I think I needed him more than he needed me while I was away

Re: Moms who had their Second child

this is seriously what I am most stressed about! I'm with him all the time and have never been away from him for more than a day, it kills me even more now at night when he goes to bed and I can hear him calling for me to lay with him or in the morning when he calls for me to get him......what is he going to do when I'm not there to get him for a few days. I know he'll be fine, but I can't help but worry!

Re: Moms who had their Second child

Even though I had a section planned, I went into labor 8 weeks early in the middle of the night. DS was still asleep when we had to leave for the hospital so I did not get to say goodbye. I had no time to think about leaving him & I was in so much pain, I just wanted to get to hospital. He was only a baby himself at 10.5 months. My ils brought him to the hospital that night & we were just fine.

Re: Moms who had their Second child

My DS was 3 at the time, but honestly, No I didnt have a hard time.
He was with DH and my ILs, he had playdates with his cousins, I was consumed with DS2 and recovery. I thought of him but it wasnt horrible to be away from him for 4days! I am a SAHM but I have left DS1 before, not often, but still.

What I will say though is IF your dc will have separation issues (being so young) I would seriously consider whether its a good idea for them to come to the hospital. I remember hearing kids in totally hysterics leaving their mommy & new baby behind. It was just too hard for them!

Re: Moms who had their Second child

I was stressed more not for him, but for the people taking care of him. Really, he did a great job and adjusted fine. It was only two nights and he had his dad. So he was fine.


I did not let them bring him to the hospital, because I felt it would make it harder for him. He was only 18 months too. I wanted him to meet his sister in a comfortable setting, more on his terms. I was worried he would get scared of the IV and didn't want him to cry when they left.

Moms who had their Second child

I was more worried & distressed about leaving my son overnight (he was 2 1/2) than I was about delivering my 2nd son. In the end though, it wasn't hard at all. I delivered late on a Mon. & I was discharged by 12pm Wed. so I was really only away from him for one day. During that day he visited 2x for a few hours & went out & about with his grandparents. He barely noticed that I was gone and I was so preoccupied with my new little guy that the time went quickly.

Message edited 1/31/2013 9:36:32 AM.

Re: Moms who had their Second child

Posted by ME75

well you do it b.c you have no choice whatsoever..
and looking back i was worried too but knew DD would be in good hands and that i was having another child which was truly the best gift i ever gave DD. at 2 yrs old she did totally fine w.o me and i stressed for nothing. she is 5 now and doesn't even remember...and she doesn't recall a time without her litle brother.
so cut yourself some slack..it's going to be totally fine. it is a small moment (time wise-not important wise) and it's really all for the greater good of your family!

ETA when the time comes and your are in labor or prepping to go it actually becomes kind of put on the back burner b.c you are SO focused on the baby and the birth! then after the baby is born you are so thrilled and excited to have them "meet" that again, it's not so awful at all! :)

Re: Moms who had their Second child

I am not worried but after reading these responses maybe I am a weirdo

I am a SAHM and what I am worried about is what to do with dd when I go into labor. I have a few friends lined up to call in case but we have no family here.

I am not worried leaving her. I have left her overnight before, so with daddy and some with grandma and grandpa and she's always adjusted just fine.

I will enjoy, and of course miss dd a lot, my stay as that is the only place i will get waited on hand and foot for 2 days haha

I know she will be fine. She's 2 1/2 and will visit me in the hospital. If she has a hard time leaving the first time, maybe she won't visit again but we will come to that if/when it happens.

She just started preschool 2 days and a week and didn't care I left her with strangers I know she will be ok.

Re: Moms who had their Second child

I know my DD will be totally fine, it's myself I am worried about. I am just very attached to her and use to being with her always so it's just weird for me to have to be away. She will be with my parents and Daddy when he's not with me so she will be in good hands, I'm just going to miss her a lot. The time away will be hard on me, probably not her so much since she is old enough to understand what's going on.

Message edited 1/31/2013 10:13:43 AM.

Re: Moms who had their Second child

My DS was only 15 months when I had DD. I was freaked about this before hand too. DS went to our babysitter like usual that morning and I had DD that night at 5:43pm. Honestly, the next day I just layed around in my bed with DD and enjoyed our time alone. We came home the following day and DS was sooo excited to see me and meet DD.

Sooo ... moral to my story... I worried needlessly.

Moms who had their Second child

I may be weird too, but I am not worried at all! Of course I will miss DD, but she will come visit in the hospital, so it's not like I won't see her for days. And I hope to have a vaginal delivery and only be there 2 nights, so that is nothing. I am not planning on having a home birth, so you do what you have to do!

Re: Moms who had their Second child

Honestly, that didn't even cross my mind. When the time came, he went with my in-laws and then came to the hospital with them when I was giving birth.

Re: Moms who had their Second child

Before it, I worried, but once the day came and I was in labor, all my worries flew out the window. I was more worried about getting to the hospital, getting someone to take care of DD and my husband making it to the hospital before I gave birth. I missed her and my hormones made it worse, but I knew she didn't even miss me, except at bed time. Everyone made sure she had lots of fun and I wasn't even gone for two full days.

Re: Moms who had their Second child

It honestly didn't even cross my mind. I work 4 days a week so she's used to me being away and coming back. My water broke at 1:30am, my mom came over and DD2 was born at 4:04am (yes...that fast!)DH was back home before DD1 even woke up! I spent 2 nights in the hospital, she came up each day to see me and her sis for a few hours and then went home with daddy. I missed her of course, but loved having that special alone time to bond with DD2.

(I had bigger concerns though about how she'd react to having a sibling...and those were all diffused quickly too!)

Moms who had their Second child

I had a really tough time. I was looking forward to the hospital stay because I couldn't wait for peace & quiet. Once I was there I was so lonely because DH had to be home with DD1 much of the time that I just cried all the time.

Re: Moms who had their Second child

I cried when I dropped DC1 off at my moms. I just thought about all the changes that were coming.

Once I got to the hospital I was ok (I had other things to concentrate on lol)

Re: Moms who had their Second child

I was a total mess! Cried almost every night for weeks before my scheduled csec date! I knew my oldest dd would be fine. I just didn't want to miss anything. I ended up signing myself out early. I wanted to be home with both my girls.

Re: Moms who had their Second child

Re: Moms who had their Second child

easy!

my husband was with him so i had nothing to worry about. When my husband was at the hospital, my inlaws had him.

plus it was a nice break. But then again, my 1st was 3 1/2 and does not stop talking so it was nice to have peace and quiet.

Re: Moms who had their Second child

Honestly, I did worry because DD is very attached to me. She was 2.4 yrs old at the time. I missed her like crazy but she was fine with her daddy. What made it worse was that it was a scheduled Csection so I knew I would be in longer. I ended up having to stay a total of 5 days and she only came 1 day for about 20 minute because she was sick. She asked for me but was okay. It was harder on me.

Re: Moms who had their Second child

Thanks for all your experiences. I am stressing it but know he will be with my family and I have nothing to worry about.
He is not coming to visit me because it will be hard for both of us. He won't understand why I can't leave too. I guess once I'm in labor ill just start focusing on pushing lol
Glad I'm not the only one who feels like this.