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lbelle821
Arghhhhh
Member since 2/06 5285 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Moms who use CIO in the middle of the night UPDATE - Momma earned TWO big fat F's
Matthew hardly gives me any issues with going to sleep now thanks to CIO. However, 90% of the time he wakes up multiple times in the middle of the night. And up until now I go in his room and give him the paci. That used to work until about 2 weeks ago when he motions to be picked up. Then I have to rock him on the glider until he goes back to sleep. And if I'm lucky I can put him back in the crib. If not he comes back to bed with DH and I.
I need some moral support..do I really just let him cry and cry and cry and never go in there. I'm just so scared that since it is the middle of the night and pitch dark and he might be a little disoriented that he will really be inconsolable. I took out his nightlight because I was convinced that was park of the problem. Do you think he'll take to this CIO method the same as he took to the bedtime one? I'm scared to try it out. Because if he never goes back to sleep that means I never go back to sleep. HELP!
UPDATE --- I failed last night-- he woke up a little before 1am. I did let him fuss and cry for about 10-15 minutes but then he just seemed to get so upset and I caved. As soon as I came in the room he stood up and I rocked him back to sleep on the glider within minutes. I totally caved. I went back to sleep telling myself the the next time he wakes up tonight I would try again. But the good news is that he slept until our alarm went off this morning. I haven't heard our alarm in months since he always manages to wake up 45 minutes before it is set to go off...haha. But I will try again tonight. Thanks for all of the advice
UPDATE 2 -- 3:45am and I couldn't do it. I gave him until 4am until I went in there and he was wide awake. Then I rocked him and he didn't go back to sleep so we went in my bed. And he went back to sleep at 5am. Ughh.
Last night and tonight he is at my MIL's where he sleeps like a log usually. He slept until 6am this morning, had a bottle, and went back to sleep until 9:30am. That is unheard of. Tonight he went to sleep at 6pm, also unheard of, so we'll see how he does in the morning. I think the difference at her house is two fold -- #1, he sleeps in a PNP there and I think maybe he likes the coziness of the closer quarters. And #2, the PNP is in her room so he knows that she is very close to him so maybe that is also comforting. I'm debating just breaking out his PNP and sticking it next to his bed. But that would def. a step back for us.
Message edited 10/2/2008 9:56:12 PM.
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Posted 9/29/08 1:36 PM  |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: Moms who use CIO in the middle of the night
He will take to it just the same. If he adjusted well for going to bed - he will eventually get that you are not going in to get him during the middle of the night.
It's hard - last night I had to have Jack cry for almost 45 mins. Loud and torturous cry. (I did get him before that since he is sick - but he fell asleep in bed with me - so I knew he was fine) -- after 45 mins he passed out.
You need to do it for your own sanity! You work full time - and need your rest too!!  You will both be better off in the end!
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| Posted 9/29/08 1:39 PM |
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jerseypanda
Life is good.
Member since 1/07 9164 total posts
Name:
Amanda
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Re: Moms who use CIO in the middle of the night
Lisa, I do believe that he will adjust to it if you give it a shot. And just like CIO at bedtime, it will be much harder on you than it will be on him.
If you know that he is not hungry, sick, or in need of a change when he is waking up crying in the middle of the night, then CIO is going to be a good thing to do so that you can all get a good night's sleep!
The only advice I have for you is if you are going to give it a shot... make sure to stick to your guns!!! Bury your head under your pillow if that's what it will take to stop you from running to him to pick him up. He will eventually fall alseep and then he will eventually learn that if he wakes up in the middle of the night... he needs to go back to sleep like the rest of us!!
Good luck!
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| Posted 9/29/08 1:47 PM |
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lbelle821
Arghhhhh
Member since 2/06 5285 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: Moms who use CIO in the middle of the night
Posted by jerseypanda
The only advice I have for you is if you are going to give it a shot... make sure to stick to your guns!!! Bury your head under your pillow if that's what it will take to stop you from running to him to pick him up. He will eventually fall alseep and then he will eventually learn that if he wakes up in the middle of the night... he needs to go back to sleep like the rest of us!!
Good luck!
i've already begun to turn the monitor down...i think that makes the crying even more unbearable (when it is amplified to 30 decibals).
I'm going to give it a shot tonight. My poor baby. I know he's going to be so upset and get that cry...you know that cry....the one where they forget to breathe in the middle. Ughhhh.
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| Posted 9/29/08 1:54 PM |
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jerseypanda
Life is good.
Member since 1/07 9164 total posts
Name:
Amanda
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Re: Moms who use CIO in the middle of the night
Posted by lbelle821
Posted by jerseypanda
The only advice I have for you is if you are going to give it a shot... make sure to stick to your guns!!! Bury your head under your pillow if that's what it will take to stop you from running to him to pick him up. He will eventually fall alseep and then he will eventually learn that if he wakes up in the middle of the night... he needs to go back to sleep like the rest of us!!
Good luck!
i've already begun to turn the monitor down...i think that makes the crying even more unbearable (when it is amplified to 30 decibals).
I'm going to give it a shot tonight. My poor baby. I know he's going to be so upset and get that cry...you know that cry....the one where they forget to breathe in the middle. Ughhhh.
Yeah, I know that cry... the one where you keep saying "breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe..." until they finally take that HUGE breath and let out the next screams!
Just try to imagine how nice it will be to sleep all the way through the night!!!! I will be thinking of you tonight!!
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| Posted 9/29/08 1:56 PM |
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leighla
Support Cancer Research
Member since 5/05 16353 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: Moms who use CIO in the middle of the night
Can you break him of the bedtime binky?
That would be my first thought before CIO.
But I know how much he likes them.
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| Posted 9/29/08 1:57 PM |
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RM23
LIF Adult
Member since 5/06 997 total posts
Name:
Rachel
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Re: Moms who use CIO in the middle of the night
Posted by jerseypanda
Posted by lbelle821
Posted by jerseypanda
The only advice I have for you is if you are going to give it a shot... make sure to stick to your guns!!! Bury your head under your pillow if that's what it will take to stop you from running to him to pick him up. He will eventually fall alseep and then he will eventually learn that if he wakes up in the middle of the night... he needs to go back to sleep like the rest of us!!
Good luck!
i've already begun to turn the monitor down...i think that makes the crying even more unbearable (when it is amplified to 30 decibals).
I'm going to give it a shot tonight. My poor baby. I know he's going to be so upset and get that cry...you know that cry....the one where they forget to breathe in the middle. Ughhhh.
Yeah, I know that cry... the one where you keep saying "breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe..." until they finally take that HUGE breath and let out the next screams!
Just try to imagine how nice it will be to sleep all the way through the night!!!! I will be thinking of you tonight!!
Im right there with you. That cry kills me! We had to start doing this a few nights ago too! DS is a great sleeper, goes right in his crib at night..and thats it. But a few nights ago he started waking just randomly, and crying! Once I knew he was safe and perfectly fine, i started waiting a few minutes to see how long the cry lasted. Sure enough after only 10-12 minutes he stopped. It was definately tough, especially since you want to go in and hold them...but it really is for there benefit. They get such a better nights sleep from it.
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| Posted 9/29/08 2:02 PM |
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lbelle821
Arghhhhh
Member since 2/06 5285 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: Moms who use CIO in the middle of the night
Posted by leighla
Can you break him of the bedtime binky?
That would be my first thought before CIO.
But I know how much he likes them.
idk, i don't think we're ready for that yet. My plan is to wean bottles first. Then binky. But probably not until he's closer to 2 when he understands a little more. because right now the second he is done with his nightime bottle and I put it on his dresser he already has his mouth open for the binky.
I don't think it is so much that he loses the binky and that's why he wakes up. Because as soon as he goes to sleep he spits it out. And most times now he knows where to find it so that by the time i get in the room he already has it in his mouth and since i'm there now he wants to be picked up.
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| Posted 9/29/08 2:04 PM |
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leighla
Support Cancer Research
Member since 5/05 16353 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: Moms who use CIO in the middle of the night
Posted by lbelle821
I don't think it is so much that he loses the binky and that's why he wakes up. Because as soon as he goes to sleep he spits it out. And most times now he knows where to find it so that by the time i get in the room he already has it in his mouth and since i'm there now he wants to be picked up.
Gotcha, when I read the post first I thought that he was waking because of the binky being gone.
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| Posted 9/29/08 2:25 PM |
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FelAndJon
needs to update her avatar pic
Member since 6/05 10212 total posts
Name:
Felice (aka LuckyBride2004)
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Re: Moms who use CIO in the middle of the night
Oy, I have no advice on this since Jeremy was never a binky boy. I should put this in my notebook for future reference though since Dylan seems to love his binky!
Good luck tonight
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| Posted 9/29/08 2:29 PM |
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lbelle821
Arghhhhh
Member since 2/06 5285 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: Moms who use CIO in the middle of the night
Posted by leighla
Posted by lbelle821
I don't think it is so much that he loses the binky and that's why he wakes up. Because as soon as he goes to sleep he spits it out. And most times now he knows where to find it so that by the time i get in the room he already has it in his mouth and since i'm there now he wants to be picked up.
Gotcha, when I read the post first I thought that he was waking because of the binky being gone.
yeah, i think the binky more just serves as a soother to get him back in the zone.
Felice, as far as the binky goes the ped basically gave me 2 options around the time when he was 6 months old. either stop it right then and there. And if I didn't we should just be prepared to live with it until he is 2. The only piece of advice he gave to me was to leave it in the place where they lie (crib and carseat) and he repeated that to me at his 1 year appt.
As you probably notice I always have one in my pocket now. I am the paci police. I hate when he has it in his mouth during the day but sometimes lately with the teething and stuff it just helps. I'll give it to him for a few minutes and then try to take it away. Most time he's ok with that. And then other times not so much and I'll let him keep it for a little while longer.
Dylan's still too young for binky discipline.
I fully expect that for us getting rid of it is going to be an ordeal but it was the choice I made because at the time that I had to decide matthew was constantly sick and this was one of the ways I knew to comfort him. But like I said, we'll have to do the bottle thing first which I'm sure will be equally as not fun.
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| Posted 9/29/08 3:07 PM |
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CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
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Re: Moms who use CIO in the middle of the night
We had to do it in the middle of the night too. It was tough, but only for two nights, and then much much better. We had the monitor on so we could see she was fine. She had just gotten used to us coming and and picking her up and hanging out. Now, the most we do is change her diaper and find the pacifier (we keep 3 or 4 in there cause she has a habit of tossing them out of the crib when she is upset). Good luck
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| Posted 9/29/08 3:09 PM |
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lbelle821
Arghhhhh
Member since 2/06 5285 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: Moms who use CIO in the middle of the night UPDATE - Momma earned a big fat F
bump to share my story of failure...but I will get this to work!!!! I'm determined. I caved too soon this morning.
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| Posted 9/30/08 10:11 AM |
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jea128
...
Member since 5/05 3415 total posts
Name:
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Re: Moms who use CIO in the middle of the night UPDATE - Momma earned a big fat F
Hang in there! You'll figure it out. DH used to cave all teh time, but once he realized the CIO thing really does work, he stopped going in there.
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| Posted 9/30/08 10:12 AM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: Moms who use CIO in the middle of the night UPDATE - Momma earned a big fat F
You did great - CIO is not easy at all. At least you heard your alarm today right? Try again tonight! Baby steps!!!
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| Posted 9/30/08 10:29 AM |
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itsbabytime
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 9644 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Moms who use CIO in the middle of the night UPDATE - Momma earned a big fat F
We have the SAME problem - and its awful sometimes! DS now goes RIGHT to sleep at night and plays happily until he sleeps for his nap time HOWEVER, a few days a week now (it used to be once in a while) he wakes up in the middle of the night SCREAMING. The thing is there is NOTHING wrong with him as he is FINE once I pick him up but he will scream bloody murder until I do. I think maybe the reason why this is persisting is I do go in eventually - I just can't bear to hear him get so hysterical and EVERYTIME i end up thinking something is wrong - but there never is! I honestly think he is just waking up and sees he is alone and wants his mommy - its as simple as that 
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| Posted 10/2/08 6:01 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: Moms who use CIO in the middle of the night UPDATE - Momma earned a big fat F
We only do CIO in the middle of the night. We still rock him to bed at night, and we like that actually....But we couldnt stand getting up all night long. It worked so well for us. He has slept through the night ever since consistently.
For us it was a lot less crying then when we tried CIO at bedtime. In the middle of the night, the worse was maybe 2 -20 min ish episodes. The first few nights were like 10-15 minutes and then got less and less fast.
Now its rare for him to even wake up. I guess he got comfortable in the crib.
I hope it works that easily for you 
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| Posted 10/2/08 9:13 PM |
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jerseypanda
Life is good.
Member since 1/07 9164 total posts
Name:
Amanda
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Re: Moms who use CIO in the middle of the night UPDATE - Momma earned a big fat F
How are things going Lisa???
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| Posted 10/2/08 9:47 PM |
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lbelle821
Arghhhhh
Member since 2/06 5285 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: Moms who use CIO in the middle of the night UPDATE - Momma earned TWO big fat F's
updated in original post
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| Posted 10/2/08 10:10 PM |
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leighla
Support Cancer Research
Member since 5/05 16353 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: Moms who use CIO in the middle of the night UPDATE - Momma earned TWO big fat F's
Does he wake in the middle of the night for your MIL?
And if so, what does she do?
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| Posted 10/2/08 10:12 PM |
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lbelle821
Arghhhhh
Member since 2/06 5285 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: Moms who use CIO in the middle of the night UPDATE - Momma earned TWO big fat F's
Posted by leighla
Does he wake in the middle of the night for your MIL?
And if so, what does she do?
no, he doesn't wake there in the middle of the night.
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| Posted 10/2/08 10:14 PM |
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hope07
LIF Adult
Member since 12/06 1050 total posts
Name:
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Re: Moms who use CIO in the middle of the night UPDATE - Momma earned TWO big fat F's
Heres another opion on cio... think of your options first!
Dangers of CIO
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| Posted 10/11/08 3:46 PM |
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itsbabytime
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 9644 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Moms who use CIO in the middle of the night UPDATE - Momma earned TWO big fat F's
Posted by hope07
Heres another opion on cio... think of your options first!
Dangers of CIO
I'm sorry but I think this is just wrong - on so many levels that I don't even feel like taking the time or energy to respond. Every baby is different and until you have a child for whom CIO is necessary you really have NO idea what you are talking about. I too was all for the "attachment" style of parenting but, after 10 mos both DS and I were suffering horrendously b/c of it. Neither one of us was sleeping for more than two hours at a time at night. I was rocking DS for over an hour at a time. Naps were only ON me - yes ON me at 10 months...DS was born a bad sleeper and I tried EVERYTHING EVERYTHING EVERYTHING b/f resorting to CIO (even though my PED pushed it at every visit). My DS was always tired, always cranky and I was an exhausted mess, getting sick constantly (which I NEVER did b/f or since). Today my DS is MUCH better off - no more dark circles, no more constant mushy and cranky behavior - he is so happy and so secure he is like a different child. So I ask you what about the dangers of a child who NEVER sleeps???? I think that is ALOT worse then a little bit of crying - has your child never cried?????
And, CIO does not happen every night...for us it took TWO nights of crying for him to go right to sleep - I'm sure your child has cried cumulatively just as much! If something is wrong - if he is sick or teething or cold - I don't just let him cry - I go to him. And, during the day I am with him all day every day - if he is upset, I am there to comfort him.
The OP was obviously looking for help and to me, if I had posted this - your reply would be a judgemental slap in the face. This article is from THREE years ago and what is this - the website of some random DR? It's his opinion - there are plenty of studies on the other side too. At any rate, until you have a child that is a horrible sleeper I really don't think you have the right to criticize.
Message edited 10/11/2008 8:27:30 PM.
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| Posted 10/11/08 8:03 PM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: Moms who use CIO in the middle of the night UPDATE - Momma earned TWO big fat F's
Posted by itsbabytime
Posted by hope07
Heres another opion on cio... think of your options first!
Dangers of CIO
I'm sorry but I think this is just wrong - on so many levels that I don't even feel like taking the time or energy to respond. Every baby is different and until you have a child for whom CIO is necessary you really have NO idea what you are talking about. I too was all for the "attachment" style of parenting but, after 10 mos both DS and I were suffering horrendously b/c of it. Neither one of us was sleeping for more than two hours at a time at night. I was rocking DS for over an hour at a time. Naps were only ON me - yes ON me at 10 months...DS was born a bad sleeper and I tried EVERYTHING EVERYTHING EVERYTHING b/f resorting to CIO (even though my PED pushed it at every visit). My DS was always tired, always cranky and I was an exhausted mess, getting sick constantly (which I NEVER did b/f or since). Today my DS is MUCH better off - no more dark circles, no more constant mushy and cranky behavior - he is so happy and so secure he is like a different child. So I ask you what about the dangers of a child who NEVER sleeps???? I think that is ALOT worse then a little bit of crying - has your child never cried?????
And, CIO does not happen every night...for us it took TWO nights of crying for him to go right to sleep - I'm sure your child has cried cumulatively just as much! If something is wrong - if he is sick or teething or cold - I don't just let him cry - I go to him. And, during the day I am with him all day every day - if he is upset, I am there to comfort him.
The OP was obviously looking for help and to me, if I had posted this - your reply would be a judgemental slap in the face. This article is from THREE years ago and what is this - the website of some random DR? It's his opinion - there are plenty of studies on the other side too. At any rate, until you have a child that is a horrible sleeper I really don't think you have the right to criticize.
 I didn't want to take the time to respond before - but you said everything I wanted to so perfectly.
It's SOOOO easy to say that you will not do CIO when your child is still a baby.
My son goes to sleep perfectly every night now. CIO does not mean that the child is screaming on top of their lungs every singe night. My child is not neglected, nor is he a miserable child - actually quite the opposite.
If someone is asking for advice on what to do when not wanting to CIO then you should post all the articles you want. This poster was asking about CIO in the middle of the night - not for alternatives.
Oh and also - I see that you had to bump this post from two weeks ago. 
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| Posted 10/11/08 8:41 PM |
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lbelle821
Arghhhhh
Member since 2/06 5285 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: Moms who use CIO in the middle of the night UPDATE - Momma earned TWO big fat F's
Posted by Diana1215
Oh and also - I see that you had to bump this post from two weeks ago.
honestly, i haven't read the article or the responses to it but also thought it was strange that of the 9 bazillion posts on CIO you chose to bump mine which is 2 weeks old. Perhaps this may have been better suited on a thread of its own.
Either way, I am interested to read it but for the record, I've already used CIO (successfully) for bedtime for months now. This particular post was meant for moms who USE it during the middle of the night wakings for some support.
But for what it's worth I do like to read pros and cons of everything so thanks for the article. I can't help but feel a little singled out here.
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| Posted 10/11/08 9:28 PM |
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