| Posted By |
Message |
| Pages: 1 [2] 3 |
MandJZ
Time for Baby #2!
Member since 8/10 4194 total posts
Name:
M
|
Re: Moms who work full time/are very focused on their careers - I need a bit of support/advice
Posted by Straightarrow
Posted by MandJZ
Also worth mentioning that it's a Jewish agency (very, very large nonprofit - you probably have heard of it) so in addition to all legal holidays, they close for all the Jewish holidays and close early on Fridays.
I am assuming you are Jewish as well to get that benefit? I work for an office where the crux of our employees are religious Jews but I am not. I am in the office for all of the holidays (with the exception of Yom Kippur). However, I enjoy working in this environment and find that everyone is very supportive of myself and my DS (I've had several life changes since I've been here, lol)
And to your OP, I would 100% take it. Congrats!!
I am Jewish, but no. The agency itself actually closes, so everyone gets the benefit.
Thank you all SO MUCH for the responses. It's been incredibly, incredibly helpful.
|
Posted 8/9/16 4:12 PM  |
| |
|
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
queensgal
Smile
Member since 4/09 3287 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Moms who work full time/are very focused on their careers - I need a bit of support/advice
This is a personal and family decision.
Both me and DH have careers and commute into the city. We have 2 toddlers.
We make it work, but it does require sacrifice on both sides. It works for us. I love my job. I love our life. But I could understand how it wouldn't work for someone else.
My advice is to try it. If you think you could get another local job if needed, give yourself 6 months to a year and you can always go back. It doesn't sound like this opportunity is something that comes around a second time.
|
| Posted 8/9/16 5:32 PM |
| |
|
Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!
Member since 8/05 14470 total posts
Name:
Veronica
|
Moms who work full time/are very focused on their careers - I need a bit of support/advice
Role Model
My daughter is about to be 8
She is proud of her mother. My work makes her proud
I work very hard. I put in long long hours
I work hard, play hard
My hard work lets us vacation and I pour myself into her time.
My house is a WRECK (no seriously, crap piled everywhere, dust collecting on it) who cares? She and I have memories. We travel, we learn, we play, we explore.
She knows my work gives us that.
She has learned that working hard means earning something. I've been laid off. So she knows the importance of saving and why we take nothing for granted. My career is important. I am the bread winner in the house but she doesn't see it that way. I am her hero. Daddy's job is ok but Mom's job is important. I make people's lives better by making their stuff safe and helping them.
I am having a rough patch now but I could NEVER be a stay at home mom. That said my career helps me take occasional time off to go to stuff of hers. Like 8 days a year maybe? Those become super special for both of us. But she knows I'm always about her. There's no doubt at all.
Me, I'd take the job in a heart beat. To show that hard work and focus pays off. Because I want to show her what SHE can do. Lead by example!
|
| Posted 8/9/16 7:23 PM |
| |
|
bunnyluck
LIF Adult
Member since 1/14 3196 total posts
Name:
|
Moms who work full time/are very focused on their careers - I need a bit of support/advice
I'd take it. But I'm definitely career oriented and I have a lot of help and supprt to care for my toddler...It really takes a village but it works for my family. I'm actually writing this post from the LIRR and left the house at 730am. This isn't everyday for me but it's an occasional sacrifice I'm willing to make for my career. If you're excited about the opportunity you owe it to yourself to try it. Kids are happiest when their parents are happy. And 10 hours away from the home seams almost standard these days. You just make adjustments.
|
| Posted 8/9/16 8:16 PM |
| |
|
JennP
LIF Adult
Member since 10/06 3986 total posts
Name:
Jenn
|
Re: Moms who work full time/are very focused on their careers - I need a bit of support/advice
Go get 'em.
It'll work out.
|
| Posted 8/9/16 9:51 PM |
| |
|
MrsA1012
love my little girl !
Member since 9/10 5777 total posts
Name:
Me
|
Moms who work full time/are very focused on their careers - I need a bit of support/advice
Just want to play devil's advocate. I have never been in this position but one of my friend's is ( she has a 1 year old and a 4 year old). She commutes to the city and is out of the house for 11 hours or so. She HATES the commute and feels like she doesn't get enough time with her kids and is always stressed. She is actively looking for a job closer to home. So, just make sure you are comfortable with that long commute and possibily fewer hours with you DC.
|
| Posted 8/9/16 11:42 PM |
| |
|
MrsS2005
Mom of 3
Member since 11/05 13118 total posts
Name:
B
|
Re: Moms who work full time/are very focused on their careers - I need a bit of support/advice
At my last job, I was out of the house for 10 hours on a good day, but there were usually at least a few nights per week where I had night meetings. My kids have always gone to bed late. Most of the time I'd at least be home before bed, but it was hard to get home really late and miss bedtime especially if I also had an early morning meeting the next day. DH worked closer to home, but we both had pretty demanding jobs and it was a struggle balancing sick days and sports schedules. I missed quite a few practices and games during the week.
DH switched jobs 1.5 years ago and has had much more flexibility since then. I recently switched jobs and while it was actually a step up in my career, I have more regular hours now and almost no nighttime commitments. I start earlier, but I can leave earlier most days and won't feel like I'm missing out. My older one is doing travel soccer and hockey this year. Each sport has practices twice during the week. I never would've been able to manage the schedule at my old job and I wouldn't want it to fall solely on DH. My kids are still in daycare/school for 10 hours per day, but we spend as much quality time together at night and on the weekends. They don't know any different schedule. I'm happy in my career and while there can always be a better work-life balance, I have no regrets. It definitely helps to have a supportive, hands on DH who does a lot with the kids and around the house. I couldn't manage everything without him.
|
| Posted 8/10/16 5:01 AM |
| |
|
FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7790 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Moms who work full time/are very focused on their careers - I need a bit of support/advice
If you can make it work, I say go for it.
I recently had the opportunity to enter a position that would put me in line for eventually achieving my dream job. Unfortunately, my commute would be at least an hour and a half each way with very long working hours. I figured I would have to be on a 5:30 a.m. train and would be on a train home around 8 p.m. most days. I would NEVER get to see my kids during the week. I would also be "on call" one weekend a month.
I'm not going to lie. I was really resentful about it for a few weeks. Men don't have to think about these things when deciding what to do with their career so why should we? On the other hand, its not fair to my kids or DH for me to NEVER be home. I would miss so much. It was such a hard realization for me to come to that, at this point in my life, with a 3rd on the way, I just couldn't do it. It was a really hard pill to swallow.
So if you can swing it and your DH is on board and you have a good support system in place, I say do it. I think that's awesome. Girl power!
|
| Posted 8/10/16 11:26 AM |
| |
|
|
|
Re: Moms who work full time/are very focused on their careers - I need a bit of support/advice
Posted by MrsA1012
Just want to play devil's advocate. I have never been in this position but one of my friend's is ( she has a 1 year old and a 4 year old). She commutes to the city and is out of the house for 11 hours or so. She HATES the commute and feels like she doesn't get enough time with her kids and is always stressed. She is actively looking for a job closer to home. So, just make sure you are comfortable with that long commute and possibily fewer hours with you DC.
I think every working mother has these issues from time to time, I know by the end of the school year I want to kill myself and everyone commuting with me
However, it wouldn't keep me from commuting for a job I loved
|
| Posted 8/10/16 12:57 PM |
| |
|
ali120206
2 Boys
Member since 7/06 17792 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Moms who work full time/are very focused on their careers - I need a bit of support/advice
Posted by Straightarrow
Posted by MrsA1012
Just want to play devil's advocate. I have never been in this position but one of my friend's is ( she has a 1 year old and a 4 year old). She commutes to the city and is out of the house for 11 hours or so. She HATES the commute and feels like she doesn't get enough time with her kids and is always stressed. She is actively looking for a job closer to home. So, just make sure you are comfortable with that long commute and possibily fewer hours with you DC.
I think every working mother has these issues from time to time, I know by the end of the school year I want to kill myself and everyone commuting with me
However, it wouldn't keep me from commuting for a job I loved
Ditto.
I commute into NYC and am gone 12 hrs a day on my good days. I am looking at jobs closer to home and most that I find that pay decently would have me being out of the house at least 10 hrs without a long commute - so I don't think being gone 10 hrs for a great career move is that bad!
|
| Posted 8/10/16 2:34 PM |
| |
|
NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
|
Re: Moms who work full time/are very focused on their careers - I need a bit of support/advice
Posted by ali120206
Posted by Straightarrow
Posted by MrsA1012
Just want to play devil's advocate. I have never been in this position but one of my friend's is ( she has a 1 year old and a 4 year old). She commutes to the city and is out of the house for 11 hours or so. She HATES the commute and feels like she doesn't get enough time with her kids and is always stressed. She is actively looking for a job closer to home. So, just make sure you are comfortable with that long commute and possibily fewer hours with you DC.
I think every working mother has these issues from time to time, I know by the end of the school year I want to kill myself and everyone commuting with me
However, it wouldn't keep me from commuting for a job I loved
Ditto.
I commute into NYC and am gone 12 hrs a day on my good days. I am looking at jobs closer to home and most that I find that pay decently would have me being out of the house at least 10 hrs without a long commute - so I don't think being gone 10 hrs for a great career move is that bad!
I work 830 am to 530 pm on Long Island. I work about 12 miles from home. With the way traffic is, I leave the house at 8 am to get in and get home at 6 pm.
So I'm gone 10 hours a day. And this is for a local job.
10 hours is actually the norm I think.
If I worked in the city every day, I'd add another 2 hours total onto that number....
Message edited 8/10/2016 3:21:00 PM.
|
| Posted 8/10/16 3:20 PM |
| |
|
MandJZ
Time for Baby #2!
Member since 8/10 4194 total posts
Name:
M
|
Re: Moms who work full time/are very focused on their careers - I need a bit of support/advice
Update!
After talking it out extensively with DH and looking at all the moving parts, we decided that the prospect of going back to work in the city when the new baby was 6 weeks old was just not right for us. I want this job, but in the end it felt the sacrifice would be too much. I wrote a lengthy email explaining that to them and (I think) very nicely declining....and they replied a few hours later that the managing partner would like to speak to me this afternoon about the potential for flexibility in start date/hours during the first couple months. SO that conversation is coming up in about half an hour!
|
| Posted 8/10/16 3:54 PM |
| |
|
NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
|
Re: Moms who work full time/are very focused on their careers - I need a bit of support/advice
Posted by MandJZ
Update!
After talking it out extensively with DH and looking at all the moving parts, we decided that the prospect of going back to work in the city when the new baby was 6 weeks old was just not right for us. I want this job, but in the end it felt the sacrifice would be too much. I wrote a lengthy email explaining that to them and (I think) very nicely declining....and they replied a few hours later that the managing partner would like to speak to me this afternoon about the potential for flexibility in start date/hours during the first couple months. SO that conversation is coming up in about half an hour!
Oh sounds promising!
Good luck!
|
| Posted 8/10/16 4:23 PM |
| |
|
MandJZ
Time for Baby #2!
Member since 8/10 4194 total posts
Name:
M
|
Re: Moms who work full time/are very focused on their careers - I need a bit of support/advice UPDATED!!!
Update in OP!
|
| Posted 8/10/16 5:15 PM |
| |
|
babyfever24
LIF Adult
Member since 1/11 3340 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Moms who work full time/are very focused on their careers - I need a bit of support/advice UPDATED!!!
Great news! Sounds really promising!
|
| Posted 8/10/16 8:12 PM |
| |
|
butterfly20
Party of 5 - 2015
Member since 4/06 7390 total posts
Name:
|
Moms who work full time/are very focused on their careers - I need a bit of support/advice UPDATED!!!
sounds excellent they want to work with you!
|
| Posted 8/10/16 10:43 PM |
| |
|
Salason
♥
Member since 6/05 9878 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Moms who work full time/are very focused on their careers - I need a bit of support/advice UPDATED!!!
Posted by MandJZ
I have the opportunity to accept a position that would be AMAZING for my career. Exactly in line with my career goals, really interesting work, high prestige, good salary. Really the ONLY downsides are that I would be commuting to the city (which I've done and would prefer not to do, but this is kind of a once in a lifetime opportunity) AND it would mean taking a much more career oriented focus. Up until now I've really worked jobs that allowed me to have an awesome work-life balance, but the jobs bored me and I ended up jumping around every couple years. This would be a CAREER move, but would mean less time at home. Any other mamas who really focused on their career and are happy they did? I don't know what I'm looking for exactly...I'm just really torn. I want to take this job, I think I'll be happy, but then I feel guilt over choosing to spend less time at home with my kids.
UPDATE:
After I declined the offer and explained my reasons, the managing partner called me.
So. She was really understanding of my concerns and wanted to make a new offer. It would now be a 30 hour a week position, with the option to work from home/the LI office a day a week, as well as some cushion time with my hours/working from home after my (now 8 week) maternity. They really want me, they think this could be a very long term relationship, and she wants to make it work. She also told me that there is a computer in the pumping room so that I can work while pumping and don't need to count the time as break time.
That's an amazing set up and awesome they want you that much. The universe is telling you something!
|
| Posted 8/11/16 8:42 AM |
| |
|
ElizaRags35
My 2 Girls
Member since 2/09 20494 total posts
Name:
Me
|
Moms who work full time/are very focused on their careers - I need a bit of support/advice UPDATED!!!
I think that update is awesome. I think it's a great opportunity for you.
|
| Posted 8/11/16 8:54 AM |
| |
|
MandJZ
Time for Baby #2!
Member since 8/10 4194 total posts
Name:
M
|
Re: Moms who work full time/are very focused on their careers - I need a bit of support/advice UPDATED!!!
I ACCEPTED THE ADJUSTED OFFER!!!!
Thank you all so so so so so much for talking through this with me so thoroughly. It was so helpful!
|
| Posted 8/11/16 9:09 AM |
| |
|
J9-13
We're gonna be big sisters!
Member since 6/06 14887 total posts
Name:
J9
|
Re: Moms who work full time/are very focused on their careers - I need a bit of support/advice UPDATED!!!
omg that new offer sounds amazing! I'm so happy that they were able to do this for you! Congrats!! Lots of luck!
|
| Posted 8/11/16 9:49 AM |
| |
|
MrsW2010
Mommy of two!
Member since 5/10 2202 total posts
Name:
Jill
|
Re: Moms who work full time/are very focused on their careers - I need a bit of support/advice UPDATED!!!
pumping time should never be counted against break time. I believe that is against the law... just FYI
It is great that they want to work with you so bad! sounds really good
|
| Posted 8/11/16 9:55 AM |
| |
|
FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7790 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Moms who work full time/are very focused on their careers - I need a bit of support/advice UPDATED!!!
That's awesome. Good for you! Go get it, girl!
|
| Posted 8/11/16 10:54 AM |
| |
|
MrsA1012
love my little girl !
Member since 9/10 5777 total posts
Name:
Me
|
Moms who work full time/are very focused on their careers - I need a bit of support/advice UPDATED!!!
Great news! Is it 30 hours with work from home or without ?
|
| Posted 8/11/16 10:20 PM |
| |
|
MandJZ
Time for Baby #2!
Member since 8/10 4194 total posts
Name:
M
|
Re: Moms who work full time/are very focused on their careers - I need a bit of support/advice UPDATED!!!
Posted by MrsA1012
Great news! Is it 30 hours with work from home or without ?
With :)
|
| Posted 8/11/16 10:55 PM |
| |
|
StaceyWill
It's a girl!!!
Member since 6/10 21539 total posts
Name:
Stacey
|
Re: Moms who work full time/are very focused on their careers - I need a bit of support/advice UPDATED!!!
 
|
| Posted 8/12/16 8:11 AM |
| |
|
| Pages: 1 [2] 3 |
