my 3 1/2 year old stepped on my 7 month old!!!! (long)

It was my 1st time using the ERGO back pack so I had put DS on the floor in front of me so I could put it on and my DD walked over him stepping on him with one foot (his stomach).

He cried HARD for about 30 seconds but then calmed down. So I figured he wasn't hurt too bad. A family member that is a Dr. was in the house so I kept asking him if DS could have internal bleeding. He checked him over and said he was fine. And he was fine for about 2 hours...

Well later tonight when we were out to dinner DS started crying and there was blood coming out of his mouth!!!!

I FREAKED out but it turned out that he had just cut his freshly teething gum on his rattle (how? I don't know yet).

WHAT are the flipping odds that the same day my DS gets stepped on (never happened before) is the same day he has blood coming out of his mouth because of a cut (never happened befor either!!!)

UGH!!!

Sooo...
#1 I'm still a bit worried...other than the random blood incident he seems totally fine...would you be worried????

#2 I asked DD why she did it and she said she was mad cause DS was getting something new (the ERGO). How would you have handled that? (P.S. about 2 1/2 weeks ago she bit his hand as hard as she could have possibly bit...broke some skin). Other than these 2 horrible occasions she has never hurt him before. what would you do about this?

#3 I of course am feeling guilty that I put my DS on the floor with my DD near but at the same time....how often can i put him in his pack and play???

Re: my 3 1/2 year old stepped on my 7 month old!!!! (long)

Awww.... you poor thing. The guilt we feel never stops, me thinks.

In regards to her hurting her brother- it sounds like the fact that she's able to verbalize WHY she did it is a good step. She's at an age where she's just really starting to learn about empathy. Explain to her that her brother needs to be protected and that you need her to HELP protect and take care of him. Plus, at that age they are so "impulsive" they rarely stop to think about the consequences to their actions before they're carrying them out. By correcting her and creating rules, she'll eventually get it.

In the meantime, try not to be too hard on yourself.

Re: my 3 1/2 year old stepped on my 7 month old!!!! (long)

it's okay... children are more resilient than we think. try not to feel guilty. accidents are still bound to happen no matter how closely we watch our children!

Re: my 3 1/2 year old stepped on my 7 month old!!!! (long)

Re: my 3 1/2 year old stepped on my 7 month old!!!! (long)

Wow - I am not sure how I would have handled it. I think I would have punished the 3 year old though. First time, maybe not but this is a second time and to me that is telling that there is a larger problem. Since she is able to verbalize her emotions I would sit her down and talk to her as pp said. I think she is prob jelous of the attention her brother is getting. Perhaps you can start with telling her she is still loved and in no way is being replaced by her younger brother. That when she was his age she needed the type of attention he is getting now and that you gave it to her too. She may need some alone mommy and me time. Can you schedule some in so she feels important? Perhaps then you can tell her that she is so wonderful and helpful (cite examples) and how much you rely on her to be a big girl and to protect her baby brother. But that at the same time she is and will always be your baby. Also explain that the carrier was not a present for the baby but a present for you and that sometimes mommies deserve presents too.

Re: my 3 1/2 year old stepped on my 7 month old!!!! (long)

Oh my goodness i'm sorry you are dealing with this. I would take DS to the doctor first thing in the AM just to be sure he is ok for your own sanity. as for what to do about your DD, I am not sure you want my answer, that is something I will NOT tolerate in this house, punishment would be more than severe and is the one thing that would warrant a "spanking" . I know I'm going to get sooooo flamed for saying that

awwwww Don't feel guilty, I put my DS down all the time, it was just something that happened not your fault at all


ETA LSP that is really great advice, I hope if I am ever in that position I can do exactly what you suggested

Message edited 3/8/2009 10:26:59 PM.

Re: my 3 1/2 year old stepped on my 7 month old!!!! (long)

I would start your 3.5 year old on a sticker chart. For everyday she is nice to her brother, she gets a sticker. You may have to break it up into morning stickers and evening stickers, and it's up to you to see if she can get a prize at the end of the week, or every few days.... Also, decide how many stickers is a fair number for her to earn to get her prize.

be specific about what earns her stickers, and what doesn't. If she hurts DS, be neutral and say - biting, stepping on, etc does NOT get stickers. If she gets upset, remind her that getting stickers is HER choice. She can choose to get a sticker by making good choices. If she makes a choice that hurts her brother, she is also choosing not to get a sticker.

She can get special mommy time for earning the specified amount of stickers - going out for ice cream without DS, or a special game SHE gets to choose, even if DS is included. Just as a few examples.

If you need any more ideas, you can FM me!