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ave1024
I Took The Wrong Road
Member since 12/07 6153 total posts
Name:
That Led To The Wrong Tendencies
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Re: My brother is dating an older woman......LONG
Posted by Palebride
Did you post about this recently on the Relationships Board?
I'm sorry, but I really don't think it's any of your business who your brother dates. She doesn't seem to be a bad person, and you've never even met her. So I'd say to reserve judgement until you meet her!
Agreed.
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Posted 7/24/09 12:11 PM  |
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munchkinbugs
My little loves!
Member since 1/06 8093 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: My brother is dating an older woman......LONG
It's not my business...but I'm not allowed to be concerned??? 
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| Posted 7/24/09 12:14 PM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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Re: My brother is dating an older woman......LONG
Posted by Cpt2007
i would absolutely be worrying about it too if i were in your shoes, rationally or not, my business or not. but not having a stake in the game, it's easier for all of us to say wait and see, or stay out of it. but as older sisters, it's just what we are programmed to do--worry about the younger siblings.
but yes, do try to wait until you meet her to form a solid opinion on the relationship and then you can decide what you wish.
i know it's not easy. i've gone through similar periods of worry with both my younger sister and brother's dating choices. in the end it's theirs to make, just as my choices were mine. but it doesn't stop the instinct to protect them. 
Word for word of what I would have written.
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| Posted 7/24/09 12:20 PM |
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Candy Girl
Candy girl- you are so sweet!
Member since 11/07 6349 total posts
Name:
erin
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Re: My brother is dating an older woman......LONG
I dated a man 14 years my senior when I was in my twenties. It was awesome. It started as a fling, turned serious and then died out...
I have very fond memories of that particular relationship. I learned a lot. I don't think you should worry about your brother; he's just living his life and creating the experiences that he'll look back on and remember and learn from.
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| Posted 7/24/09 12:34 PM |
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Palebride
I am an amazing bakist
Member since 5/05 13673 total posts
Name:
Lori
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Re: My brother is dating an older woman......LONG
Posted by babybug631
It's not my business...but I'm not allowed to be concerned???
Of course you can be - I just don't see why you would be so concerned that you would post about it on the internet.
My younger brothers have both made choices I didn't agree with, and while I was concerned that they were making a mistake, I knew it wasn't my business, so I didn't make it an issue for myself.
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| Posted 7/24/09 12:52 PM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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Re: My brother is dating an older woman......LONG
Posted by Palebride
Posted by babybug631
It's not my business...but I'm not allowed to be concerned???
Of course you can be - I just don't see why you would be so concerned that you would post about it on the internet.
My younger brothers have both made choices I didn't agree with, and while I was concerned that they were making a mistake, I knew it wasn't my business, so I didn't make it an issue for myself.
See and while I see your point...
I just dont think this is how "life" works in general...(well at least my life).
Everyone in my family is my business and there decisions "could" piotentially effect my life and those that surround me. When one family member falls...we all could fall. So "IF" I could give an ounce of thought to my bro that I thought may or may not be making the right decision...I would. BUT...I do agree with you that she hasnt met this girl yet to actually make a specific opinion. One that only has to do with age and kids. I would need to see/hear more before I made my ultimate "what I thought" opinion.
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| Posted 7/24/09 12:56 PM |
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munchkinbugs
My little loves!
Member since 1/06 8093 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: My brother is dating an older woman......LONG
Posted by Palebride
Posted by babybug631
It's not my business...but I'm not allowed to be concerned???
Of course you can be - I just don't see why you would be so concerned that you would post about it on the internet.
My younger brothers have both made choices I didn't agree with, and while I was concerned that they were making a mistake, I knew it wasn't my business, so I didn't make it an issue for myself.
I've seen girls post about much less concerning things on this site.
I'm not really making an issue of it for myself. It doesn't keep me up at night.
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| Posted 7/24/09 1:02 PM |
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munchkinbugs
My little loves!
Member since 1/06 8093 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: My brother is dating an older woman......LONG
Posted by PrincessP
Posted by Palebride
Posted by babybug631
It's not my business...but I'm not allowed to be concerned???
Of course you can be - I just don't see why you would be so concerned that you would post about it on the internet.
My younger brothers have both made choices I didn't agree with, and while I was concerned that they were making a mistake, I knew it wasn't my business, so I didn't make it an issue for myself.
See and while I see your point...
I just dont think this is how "life" works in general...(well at least my life).
Everyone in my family is my business and there decisions "could" piotentially effect my life and those that surround me. When one family member falls...we all could fall. So "IF" I could give an ounce of thought to my bro that I thought may or may not be making the right decision...I would. BUT...I do agree with you that she hasnt met this girl yet to actually make a specific opinion. One that only has to do with age and kids. I would need to see/hear more before I made my ultimate "what I thought" opinion.
I don't think meeting her will make it better. Ultimately, she could be the best person on the planet. If they are not on the same page, she COULD be completely wrong for him. But we won't know that until they have a conversation. And that is what I am concerned about.
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| Posted 7/24/09 1:04 PM |
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happytobreathe
The Lazy Days of Summer
Member since 10/06 1413 total posts
Name:
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Re: My brother is dating an older woman......LONG
I can understand why it is upsetting to you. Maybe, your brother might be limited by dating her,... kind of a thought.
However, it is his business and life goes in crazy ways. He is still young, maybe either one of them will realize they should move on.
Best of Luck.
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| Posted 7/24/09 1:05 PM |
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MrsMerlot
Unconditional Love
Member since 4/06 6005 total posts
Name:
Chrissy
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Re: My brother is dating an older woman......LONG
I'm sorry it's upsetting you, and I'm sure that you only want the best for your brother (like any great sibling would)
My .2cents -- she's looking to relive her youth by dating him, and he's having a good time right now (with her and gain some experience in the bedroom), and not looking for anything serious.
I don't foresee this relationship going any further than that.
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| Posted 7/24/09 1:13 PM |
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greenfreak
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Member since 9/06 11483 total posts
Name:
greenfreak
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Re: My brother is dating an older woman......LONG
I've had concerns about people my siblings have dated in the past too. I was proven wrong on more than one occasion, happily.
I can see where your mind can go with this, perhaps her life is more complicated than his is and how would he fit into an instant family like that?
Consider something else... I had a friend who divorced in her mid 30's while caring for her two children and she had a few "flings" that lasted for a few months. It's possible that her relationship with your brother is pretty uncomplicated on both ends, and it serves both their purposes for now.
Either way, I would treat her with the same respect as anyone else he's dated and reserve some of that worry. 
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| Posted 7/24/09 1:14 PM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: My brother is dating an older woman......LONG
Posted by babybug631
It's not my business...but I'm not allowed to be concerned???
that is your brother and I think you have every right ot be concerned if you think he is entering an unhealthy relationship or there is a potential he might get hurt. I would be concerned too. Obviously there isnt much you can do but respect him and his relationship, but I dont think its unwise to have a chat with him. You can have a cordial conversation and ask him what is his intentions and if he thought about everything now that the relationship is progressing. I dont see no harm in that. As logn as he knows you will support him and treat his realtionship with the respect he desreves, i think he would appreciate you talkign to him.
I hope everything works out
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| Posted 7/24/09 1:19 PM |
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MrsFab
this is bliss.......
Member since 10/08 1234 total posts
Name:
Mb
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Re: My brother is dating an older woman......LONG
Maybe because I was raised in a big loud italian family where everyone was in everyone else's business- I dont see why everyone is telling you its none of your business
family has every right to butt in and have opinions and even comment when its done appropriately
and in this situation, I can see why you are concerned and you have the right. It may make you feel better to talk to your brother and get a better sense of whether this is something that has a future or if its just for fun- if it has a future- I would lay out your concerns so that he knows and it may help him think through things and raise those issues with her.. communication is key
good luck
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| Posted 7/24/09 1:25 PM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: My brother is dating an older woman......LONG
Posted by MrsFab
Maybe because I was raised in a big loud italian family where everyone was in everyone else's business- I dont see why everyone is telling you its none of your business
ITA - 
This is the same as in my family, Puerto Rican - everyone is in everyones business and if you dont want them to be than you keep your mouth shut or your actions a secret 
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| Posted 7/24/09 1:29 PM |
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munchkinbugs
My little loves!
Member since 1/06 8093 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: My brother is dating an older woman......LONG
Which is funny because my family is the same way and he TRIED to keep it from us. The only reason we know is because they are friends on Facebook and she does not look 20something. So I googled her. That's how my sister and I discovered she was older.
There are no secrets in my family, at least not for long. 
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| Posted 7/24/09 1:33 PM |
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KartveliT
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Member since 1/08 8363 total posts
Name:
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Re: My brother is dating an older woman......LONG
Posted by babybug631
Posted by Palebride
Posted by babybug631
It's not my business...but I'm not allowed to be concerned???
Of course you can be - I just don't see why you would be so concerned that you would post about it on the internet.
My younger brothers have both made choices I didn't agree with, and while I was concerned that they were making a mistake, I knew it wasn't my business, so I didn't make it an issue for myself.
I've seen girls post about much less concerning things on this site.
I'm not really making an issue of it for myself. It doesn't keep me up at night.
(I 'm sorry if I come off as rude and I am NOT trying to start the drama ) but I really think that the comment above was really uncalled -for . I don't think it's anyone's business what any one of us decides/chooses to post on this site (or on the internet). And no-one is obligated to give opinion or advice if they don't want to.
And to the OP this is what this site is for. TO SHARE,VENT,RECEIVE OPINIONS AND ADVICE (if asked) AND SO ON..... so vent on (or whatever you want to call it)
Message edited 7/24/2009 1:48:33 PM.
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| Posted 7/24/09 1:35 PM |
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JennyPenny
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Member since 1/08 12702 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: My brother is dating an older woman......LONG
Maybe you could kind of hint to him in a nuon-obtrusive way about him having that conversation with her. He may not realize it should happen but you do. Since he is your brother and you have concerns, I think you have every right to do that.
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| Posted 7/24/09 1:37 PM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: My brother is dating an older woman......LONG
Posted by babybug631
Which is funny because my family is the same way and he TRIED to keep it from us. The only reason we know is because they are friends on Facebook and she does not look 20something. So I googled her. That's how my sister and I discovered she was older.
There are no secrets in my family, at least not for long.
Omg, the PI work!! This is totally something we would have done in my family.
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| Posted 7/24/09 1:39 PM |
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munchkinbugs
My little loves!
Member since 1/06 8093 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: My brother is dating an older woman......LONG
Posted by Sash
Posted by babybug631
Which is funny because my family is the same way and he TRIED to keep it from us. The only reason we know is because they are friends on Facebook and she does not look 20something. So I googled her. That's how my sister and I discovered she was older.
There are no secrets in my family, at least not for long.
Omg, the PI work!! This is totally something we would have done in my family.
Oh...you have no idea! I usually keep to myself. But my sister is the worst! Between the two of us, he doesn't stand a chance.
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| Posted 7/24/09 1:44 PM |
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roxygrl8
......
Member since 6/06 2987 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: My brother is dating an older woman......LONG
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| Posted 7/24/09 1:49 PM |
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KartveliT
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Member since 1/08 8363 total posts
Name:
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Re: My brother is dating an older woman......LONG
Posted by Sash
Posted by babybug631
Which is funny because my family is the same way and he TRIED to keep it from us. The only reason we know is because they are friends on Facebook and she does not look 20something. So I googled her. That's how my sister and I discovered she was older.
There are no secrets in my family, at least not for long.
Omg, the PI work!! This is totally something we would have done in my family.
OMG same here
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| Posted 7/24/09 1:50 PM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: My brother is dating an older woman......LONG
Posted by tatuka
Posted by Sash
Posted by babybug631
Which is funny because my family is the same way and he TRIED to keep it from us. The only reason we know is because they are friends on Facebook and she does not look 20something. So I googled her. That's how my sister and I discovered she was older.
There are no secrets in my family, at least not for long.
Omg, the PI work!! This is totally something we would have done in my family.
OMG same here
It is so funny Facebook or Myspace is always a persons demise
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| Posted 7/24/09 1:57 PM |
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munchkinbugs
My little loves!
Member since 1/06 8093 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: My brother is dating an older woman......LONG
Posted by Sash
Posted by tatuka
Posted by Sash
Posted by babybug631
Which is funny because my family is the same way and he TRIED to keep it from us. The only reason we know is because they are friends on Facebook and she does not look 20something. So I googled her. That's how my sister and I discovered she was older.
There are no secrets in my family, at least not for long.
Omg, the PI work!! This is totally something we would have done in my family.
OMG same here
It is so funny Facebook or Myspace is always a persons demise
Very true...you can't hide anything on there!
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| Posted 7/24/09 2:00 PM |
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munchkinbugs
My little loves!
Member since 1/06 8093 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: My brother is dating an older woman......LONG
There you are!!!!!
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| Posted 7/24/09 2:01 PM |
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DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
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Re: My brother is dating an older woman......LONG
Put yourself in his shoes. Would want him involved in your decisions on who you should date?
I can see why as an older sister you may have concerns. BUT it is none of your business. Your business is being happy for your brother if he is happy, if he is happy then I would leave it alone.
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| Posted 7/24/09 2:03 PM |
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