My brother is dating an older woman......LONG

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Re: My brother is dating an older woman......LONG

Posted by PrincessP

Can I ask you....are you getting anything from this thread or are you kinda validating how you feel? BC honestly...I am 100% behind you...I kinda feel exactly as you do. So for me it would be like comparing 1 families beliefs to another. If your family runs a certain way you arent going to ever agree with lets say palebride (lori's opinion). Its not to see her opinion doesnt work for her family bc I am sure it does. I just think in YOUR case given all of YOUR facts...the right thing to do would probably be to talk to him about how you feel.

Paulette, so well said. We all come from different kinds of families. In MY family, when my aunt started dating a man 20 years older than her (she was 50, mind you), we all sat down and bombarded her with questions and demanded to answers. Why? because that's how we roll. It's part of being in our family and it works for us.

That being said, it seems the OP just needed to vent about it and see if she could sort her feelings out on the situation. Many of us do this quite often, myself included, and sometimes it helps to get unbiased (or we hope) opinions to help us see how we feel. So, you seem to have it figured out Chat Icon

Posted 7/24/09 11:53 PM

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legallyblonde
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Re: My brother is dating an older woman......LONG

I totally understand where you are coming from. My brother, 27, was dating a 41 year old, twice divorced with 4 kids, the oldest being 18 and my parents are early 50's. It was weird and uncomfortable for us for sure.

She epitomized the term cougar (rich, gorgeous, older, and manipulative) and she toyed with my brother. It was terrible. I just wanted to tell you that you are better off staying quiet. After the girlfriend caused a drunken scene at my wedding (complete with calling my mother a stuck-up b!tch), I let my brother know what I thought and that was a total mistake. He really alienated us.

Time has since past, her true colors have shown and he has realized that there is something better for him out there. Chat Icon

I also know that my brother started to realize how much responsibility her kids were and how he wasn't ready for it. Part of the problem was that now that she found her new young self in my brother, she didn't want the responsibility of her kids either. The ex husband situation was always dramatic (probably b/c he didn't like his $20K a month child support payment going towards his ex's party fund with my brother Chat Icon ) and he finally realized how much he was missing out on with his friends.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know I understand your feelings

Posted 7/25/09 12:02 AM

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DiamondGirl
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Re: My brother is dating an older woman......LONG

My brother married someone who was very different from him. Many people were surprised when they became serious because to an outsider they were SO different.

At first I thought, wow it is odd that they are getting so serious, I don't see what they have in common.

She was always very lovely to my family and I and we liked her very much, just were surprised at my brothers desicion.

As their relationship progressed, I realized that my brother had never been so happy. They really complimented and brought out the best in one and other.

Although to outside people (family, friends who HAD A LOT OF NEGATIVE THINGS TO SAY) it was hard to understand.

I never said a word to my brother about it bc it was my opinion and he was happy. He is a smart person capable of making sound decisions.

I am so happy I never said "I dont get it" or anything that might lead him to believe I did not approve of his relationship. My mom and dad did not either (although my mom was going to at first).

Today they are very happily married, while other people we know who married the person "who looks good on paper" are are not in happy, lovng marriages.

The people who made comments about my brothers wife, he remebers and resents them for it.

I just wanted to share my story with you Chat Icon

Posted 7/25/09 10:59 AM

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DancinBarefoot
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Re: My brother is dating an older woman......LONG

I wouldn't worry too much - your brother will figure it out. My brother is also involved with a woman 15-20 years his senior (we're not sure exactly how much older she is than him, but let's just say I'm older than he is, and she was one of my HS teachers! Chat Icon ). When I first found out about the relationship I was shocked, but now 6 years later, it's obvious how strong it is, and she is a great person that I'm glad I've gotten to know a bit in a different capacity.