My Current *Dilemma*

Robbie was invited to a birthday party and it seems like SO MUCH FUN!

The parents will be taking the kids on their boat over to Fire Island for a day of BBQ, crabbing, tubing, etc.. This group of kids happen to be THE group for Robbie. All of his closest friends. The invitation noted that the parents are experienced boaters and there will be 1 chaperone for every 2 kids. I've met the father briefly at one of Robbie's parties - and he seems very nice. I've never met the mother. Robbie REALLY wants to go. And I am TERRIFIED of having him in the care of someone else for 8 hours.

I don't know if my hesitation is all about my own over protective nature. I run through the 'what if' scenarios and it makes me ill. I don't know if I have ever mentioned that he's only been on a handful of drop off play dates and I always feel sick to my stomach the entire time. And we are talking about play dates where there aren't a group of kids on a boat or a beach for a full day.

I know that at some point he will be off on his own - riding his bike to the store with friends, hanging out or whatever. But I keep telling myself that is light years away - but it really isn't.

So - what do you guys think? Would you let your 9 year old go to this party.. or would you hold off?

Re: My Current *Dilemma*

That is a tough one but I want to say that I wouldn't let her go. I get a pit in my stomach just thinking about it. However, I would have to be in the situation to say for sure. I am always a nervous wreck and even when my mom had her for a sleepover this weekend, she didn't answer the phone in the morning and 10,000 bad thoughts went through my head until she called back 1/2 hour later and said they were in the pool. And I get nervous when my mil takes her places inthe car. I need to learn to relax a little before drop off playdates start, lol. Good luck with your decision!

Re: My Current *Dilemma*

It sounds like it would be a lot of fun but my biggest concern is the boat. Will there be a life jacket for every kid? And going to Fire Island where I wouldn't be able to get there immediately if God forbid something happens would also be a huge concern for me.

I think I would have a little chat with the parents to ease my worries before deciding.

Re: My Current *Dilemma*

I grew up with a boat. I had a summer birthday as well so as long as I can remember, I had boat parties! By law, the owner of the boat should have a life vest for every passenger, in the appropriate size (adult for adults, child for children, etc). While I would allow my child to go, without hesitation, I would certainly make sure the parents do have enough life vests.
If you are still unsure though, could you ask to go, even as an offering of another chaperone?

You know what you need to do.

I think we all feel that way and while I'd love to say it gets easier, I still feel stressed if they're going to a crowded place with lots of kids.

The chaperone ratio is excellent. As long as you trust the parents and more importantly, that your child will listen to them, I'd let him go.

Message edited 9/1/2011 4:22:44 PM.

Re: My Current *Dilemma*

Like Felice, I grew up with a boat too, so my comfort level is probably a lot higher than yours.

I would let him go. If the boat is your biggest fear, can you bring him to FI yourself? or tag along?

Message edited 6/7/2010 10:32:45 AM.

Re: My Current *Dilemma*

As long as Robbie is the type of kid who will listen to the parents, and there is a life jacket for each kid, I would let him go.

Re: My Current *Dilemma*

I actually grew up boating as well! It never occurred to me as a kid or a teen that I could get hurt! But - as a parent it's different.

They will provide him with a life vest if I do not send him with one.

They are good people and I'm sure everything will be fine.. but I know I'll be chewing my knuckles off all day.

If I'm this bad now.. can you imagine what I'm going to be like when they are teenagers???

I'm just glad you're not going to be hiding in the dunes. The ticks are bad this year.

Message edited 9/1/2011 4:21:05 PM.

Re: My Current *Dilemma*

Posted by nrthshgrl

I'm just glad you're not going to be hiding in the dunes. The ticks are bad this year.

Re: My Current *Dilemma*

I had a whole long reply and I lost it. The gist was that I would definitely let him go. If you are uncomfortable letting him go, I'd call and ask if you can come. I put myself in the host's shoes and I could not see turning down a parent with such a request. They're not babies but they're still small in their own way.

When is the party? It might not be too late to have a microchip subcutaneously implanted... all kidding aside, it's hard - SO HARD - to let them grow up and decide which situations are acceptable for them to branch out with but given your son's age, affinity to the group and the chaperone-to-child ratio, it sounds like something that would be a wonderful experience for him. I would love an invite to that party BTW...if they are looking for any Mothers of 3 kids who they don't know to tag along, let me know.