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antoinette
boy mamma
Member since 5/05 2975 total posts
Name:
Antoinette
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my nephew just bit my SON at daycare
My son and my BIL kid go to daycare together because they are the same age- lately my nephew has been bullying my son and it has me soooo upset because my son seems like he is the kind of kid that gets alwyas gets bullied. He has always gotten bit at daycare and has always been pushed around by other kids because he is passive. Lately he hasnt been anting to go to school and I think theis incident may have something to do with that. My Dh talks to his brother all the time about his son's behavior and BIL thinks that they should " work things out themselves" UM helooo, they are 3! He never dicplines his son and he is turning into quite the brat because of it. Daycare called my Dh about the incident saying that the bite broke skin- is pretty severe and my son is torn up about it-- despite all the mean treatement he gets he still thinks of his cousin as his best friend  My Dh went to pick him up from daycare after the incident and Bryan was sitting in the corner crying by himself. It just breaks my heart though and I dont know how to handle his situation. Dh already told daycare that he doesnt want my nephew to get a warning or kicked out because its his brother.
Message edited 7/14/2008 12:34:52 PM.
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Posted 7/14/08 12:34 PM  |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: my nephew just bit my SON at daycare
I am sorry, brother or not, that is his SON and he needs to look out for him first and foremost. I would DEMAND that he get a warning, just like any other child that bites 
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| Posted 7/14/08 12:36 PM |
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Ang-Rich
Beyond Compare
Member since 5/05 17988 total posts
Name:
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Re: my nephew just bit my SON at daycare
I am so sorry that your little boy is going through this...I'm sure that today's incident didn't help the way your son is feeling. Has he said anything to your DH since he picked him up?
Message edited 7/14/2008 12:41:53 PM.
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| Posted 7/14/08 12:40 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: my nephew just bit my SON at daycare
Posted by stephanief
I am sorry, brother or not, that is his SON and he needs to look out for him first and foremost. I would DEMAND that he get a warning, just like any other child that bites
ITA. It's a disservice to his brother not to point out his son is biting & bullying. This needs to be handled per standard procedure.
I hope the daycare disregards your husband's request. They are there to care for children. Having a biter (even one related to the bitee) & doing nothing about it affects their business & their bottomline.
Also the daycare should not indicate who was bit. Yes at 3, the kids volunteer it themselves.
For your son, here's a tip from a kindergarten mom that I learned...no one wants their son to be a tattletale. She taught her son to stand up & say VERY loudly "DO NOT HIT ME!" if he was being bullied. It was loud enough to bring it to a teacher's attention & there was no punishment for retailating.
HTH
eta. I just realized you didn't ask for any advice on your post. Sorry if this came off as preachy. 
Message edited 7/14/2008 12:42:29 PM.
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| Posted 7/14/08 12:41 PM |
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antoinette
boy mamma
Member since 5/05 2975 total posts
Name:
Antoinette
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Re: my nephew just bit my SON at daycare
Posted by nrthshgrl
Posted by stephanief
I am sorry, brother or not, that is his SON and he needs to look out for him first and foremost. I would DEMAND that he get a warning, just like any other child that bites
ITA. It's a disservice to his brother not to point out his son is biting & bullying. This needs to be handled per standard procedure.
I hope the daycare disregards your husband's request. They are there to care for children. Having a biter (even one related to the bitee) & doing nothing about it affects their business & their bottomline.
Also the daycare should not indicate who was bit. Yes at 3, the kids volunteer it themselves.
For your son, here's a tip from a kindergarten mom that I learned...no one wants their son to be a tattletale. She taught her son to stand up & say VERY loudly "DO NOT HIT ME!" if he was being bullied. It was loud enough to bring it to a teacher's attention & there was no punishment for retailating.
HTH
eta. I just realized you didn't ask for any advice on your post. Sorry if this came off as preachy.
ACtualy I WAS lookng for some advice and that is good. Ive been trying to figure out a way that we can rectify this bullying on our own terms since my inlaws are not forthcoming from their end. I thought telling the teacher would be the best solution but I know it can cause further torment so doing what your friend did sounds like a better solution . Im going to tell bryan that.
Also, in the past they have not told us about other biters but they always tell us when my nephew does something to Bryan- i dont know why? They know that DH is really close with his brother and they look at the kids almost as being brothers- infact that is what the teacher told DH that they think has been going on- Sibling rivalry...
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| Posted 7/14/08 12:51 PM |
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patti08
Happy
Member since 5/05 3893 total posts
Name:
Patti
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Re: my nephew just bit my SON at daycare
I don't see how this will get any better if someone doesn't step in and do something. Let the Daycare people be the bad guys so you and DH don't have to. They should address it the way they do for biting between any kids, cousins or not. If your nephew isn't shown that this is not allowed, how bad will it have to get before your BIL will do something?
I'm so sorry about your poor little guy. That really must have hurt to break the skin. Be sure to give him lots of extra cuddles tonight.
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| Posted 7/14/08 1:03 PM |
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ckone
LIF Adult
Member since 8/06 3014 total posts
Name:
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Re: my nephew just bit my SON at daycare
I have to say that daycare should say something to the brother. That's a saftey hazzard towards other children. Maybe if an outside party says that his child is bitting and that could cause expulsion that could change things. I understand that it's his brother but the daycare has a right to say something to him.
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| Posted 7/14/08 1:27 PM |
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antoinette
boy mamma
Member since 5/05 2975 total posts
Name:
Antoinette
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Re: my nephew just bit my SON at daycare-update below
SO Dh told his brother and his brother was very apologetic and said he will be punishing him... As far as daycare goes in this particular place when biting takes place between family they have to tell both parents. They are calling my BIL and SIL but they aren't giving them a formal written warning. they are going to keep an eye on him for 2 weeks and if the bullying doesn't stop then they will be separating them- basically they are handling this as a sibling rivalry case...
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| Posted 7/14/08 1:56 PM |
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Stacey1403
Where it all began....
Member since 5/05 24065 total posts
Name:
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Re: my nephew just bit my SON at daycare
3 years old is on the older side for biting. Does your nephew have a good vocabulary? Is he hurting other children or just your DS? He may need to be evaluated for a behavior problem.
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| Posted 7/14/08 2:07 PM |
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sometimesmommy
Always in my heart.....
Member since 11/06 6686 total posts
Name:
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Re: my nephew just bit my SON at daycare
Posted by patti08
I don't see how this will get any better if someone doesn't step in and do something. Let the Daycare people be the bad guys so you and DH don't have to. They should address it the way they do for biting between any kids, cousins or not. If your nephew isn't shown that this is not allowed, how bad will it have to get before your BIL will do something?
I'm so sorry about your poor little guy. That really must have hurt to break the skin. Be sure to give him lots of extra cuddles tonight.
ITA let teh daycare people be the bad guys. Your poor son
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| Posted 7/14/08 2:31 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: my nephew just bit my SON at daycare
Posted by Stacey1403
3 years old is on the older side for biting. Does your nephew have a good vocabulary? Is he hurting other children or just your DS? He may need to be evaluated for a behavior problem.
I was thinking the same thing. Biting for 18mos-2.5 seems par for the course. At 3, that kid should know better.
My son was 4 & acting out. He was evaluated for behavioral issues & it was very helpful.
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| Posted 7/14/08 2:44 PM |
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