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jellybean78
:)
Member since 8/06 13103 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: My VERY important advice to daycare parents (and perhaps all parents who have kids in any sort of school setting)
Posted by Palebride
Posted by Ang-Rich
You have more information than we do...please step back and understand that for everyone outside of this story it is frightening. We trust our children with these care providers and we battle fear, guilt and worry every minute of every day. You can image that this troubles people...especially first-time daycare parents.
Exactly. Sometimes not knowing is worse than knowing. Our minds create all sorts of scenarios of our worst fears and we have no idea if it's even anywhere close to the actual situation. That's scary!
I don't have a child in day care, but I plan to enroll her in nursery school next year and this is scary to me!
I agree. I am going to check out a nursery school next week and now I'm freaked out. DD is the only child watched by an in home sitter who is wonderful with her...I have no experience with daycare centers or nursery schools and have no idea (other than the obvious) about what to look for in a nursery school
I understand that you are upset but I think posting bits and pieces is going to upset some of us here more.
Also even if some of us don't have our kids enrolled in the daycare your DS went to we may have family and friends that do and want to warn them. If it was me and the incident was that bad (which obviously it was since you pulled your DS out) I would name the daycare and say the incident. I don't live on LI but I have family that does and right now my cousin is looking for a daycare for her 9 month old son.
I'm truly sorry you had to witness that and I feel bad for the child who experienced whatever it was. Good Luck with your search for a new center for your DS.
ETA: I do agree 10000% with you about getting to know parents in your daycare/nursery school and even in your neighborhood. We should all be looking out for not only our kids but others too.
Message edited 9/11/2009 9:53:07 PM.
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Posted 9/11/09 9:51 PM  |
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DancinBarefoot
06ers Rock!!
Member since 1/07 9534 total posts
Name:
The One My Mother Gave Me ;-)
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Re: My VERY important advice to daycare parents (and perhaps all parents who have kids in any sort of school setting)
Posted by Ang-Rich
Posted by DancinBarefoot
I have a DD in care F/T and her FIRST day was Tuesday - the same day this happened. Frankly, I know all the details and knowing doesn't mean anything or change the message. Every single solitary parent should get to know the parents of the other kids in their DC's class/room. To follow up on my own post, every single solitary parent should know what the daycare regulations say, so when they pick up/drop off/stop by they can spot a violation immediately, AND have a plan of action as to how they will handle it.
For those that are interested here is the link to the regulations . Read them, become familiar with them, and pay attention.
Honestly.... I have to speak up and say that this message is still too vague to parent's who are now alarmed with all the terrible thoughts these messages send out.
Every parent cannot know each regulation word for word...my personal opinion is that you know what is right and what is wrong...and what you find unacceptble. Every parent has every right to question anything and everything they see on instinct alone. I can't image that the OP mentally referenced a regulation when she saw whatever happened...I am pretty sure that she went on instinct...this is not right. The rest comes after and helps to support the urgency of the matter.
You have more information than we do...please step back and understand that for everyone outside of this story it is frightening. We trust our children with these care providers and we battle fear, guilt and worry every minute of every day. You can image that this troubles people...especially first-time daycare parents.
I do understand how frightening this is. And I do know how this is troubling first-time daycare parents because I'm one of them. What I'm trying to get across is that in the end it doesn't matter what the incident involving the OP was that prompted her to write this message.
If I was to say that she showed up at daycare to pick up her DS and there were 12 kids with only 2 staff members, when there should have been three and she decided to pull her kid out, does that make it better? If I was to say that she picked up her DS and when she got him home and took off his shirt there was a huge red welt in the shape of a hand on his back, and she decided to pull him out, does that make it better? If I was to say that when she picked up her DS she heard someone yell at a child to shut up, and she decided to pull him out, does that make it better? What difference does it make what happened. The simple fact remains that something bothered her personally and she made a decision and now thinks it is important to remind us all to pay attention and get to know the parents of the other kids.
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| Posted 9/11/09 9:53 PM |
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Palebride
I am an amazing bakist
Member since 5/05 13673 total posts
Name:
Lori
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Re: My VERY important advice to daycare parents (and perhaps all parents who have kids in any sort of school setting)
I'm very sorry that you had something like this happen to you...I really am.
And I understand why you can't post specific details about it.
But perhaps, given the sensitivity of the issue, it would have been better not to say anything in this situation. As I said before, sometimes now knowing is worse than knowing....and I think this is one of those cases.
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| Posted 9/11/09 9:54 PM |
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Palebride
I am an amazing bakist
Member since 5/05 13673 total posts
Name:
Lori
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Re: My VERY important advice to daycare parents (and perhaps all parents who have kids in any sort of school setting)
Posted by DancinBarefoot
If I was to say that she showed up at daycare to pick up her DS and there were 12 kids with only 2 staff members, when there should have been three and she decided to pull her kid out, does that make it better? If I was to say that she picked up her DS and when she got him home and took off his shirt there was a huge red welt in the shape of a hand on his back, and she decided to pull him out, does that make it better? If I was to say that when she picked up her DS she heard someone yell at a child to shut up, and she decided to pull him out, does that make it better? What difference does it make what happened. The simple fact remains that something bothered her personally and she made a decision and now thinks it is important to remind us all to pay attention and get to know the parents of the other kids.
There's no need to be nasty here. People are concerned. And they have the right to be. The fact remains that you KNOW the details of the situation, so you are in a different position than everyone else here.
Telling people they don't need the details won't make them not want them....
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| Posted 9/11/09 9:59 PM |
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Ang-Rich
Beyond Compare
Member since 5/05 17988 total posts
Name:
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Re: My VERY important advice to daycare parents (and perhaps all parents who have kids in any sort of school setting)
Posted by DancinBarefoot
I do understand how frightening this is. And I do know how this is troubling first-time daycare parents because I'm one of them. What I'm trying to get across is that in the end it doesn't matter what the incident involving the OP was that prompted her to write this message.
If I was to say that she showed up at daycare to pick up her DS and there were 12 kids with only 2 staff members, when there should have been three and she decided to pull her kid out, does that make it better? If I was to say that she picked up her DS and when she got him home and took off his shirt there was a huge red welt in the shape of a hand on his back, and she decided to pull him out, does that make it better? If I was to say that when she picked up her DS she heard someone yell at a child to shut up, and she decided to pull him out, does that make it better? What difference does it make what happened. The simple fact remains that something bothered her personally and she made a decision and now thinks it is important to remind us all to pay attention and get to know the parents of the other kids.
No, with all due respect I didn't ask you to make it better but rather to understand that you know more about the situation and your instruction to not worry about it minimizes the effect the post already had.
In my opinion it does matter what happened...would you be saying this is you did not already know exactly what happened? I don't really want to argue with you over it...I just don't like reading all the fear that this has prompted. I think that for the most part we all know to be cautious with our daycares and to speak up for our children. The message had good intention but the delivery set people back. Parents do want to know who, what and where...it's our instinct to protect...just as it was the OPs to protect that child.
And on a side note to the OP....Thank you..thank you for watching out for that child...for being their voice and their advocate...this is what it means to be a community. 
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| Posted 9/11/09 10:04 PM |
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CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!
Member since 5/05 14021 total posts
Name:
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Re: My VERY important advice to daycare parents (and perhaps all parents who have kids in any sort of school setting)
Posted by DancinBarefoot
If I was to say that she showed up at daycare to pick up her DS and there were 12 kids with only 2 staff members, when there should have been three and she decided to pull her kid out, does that make it better? If I was to say that she picked up her DS and when she got him home and took off his shirt there was a huge red welt in the shape of a hand on his back, and she decided to pull him out, does that make it better? If I was to say that when she picked up her DS she heard someone yell at a child to shut up, and she decided to pull him out, does that make it better? What difference does it make what happened. The simple fact remains that something bothered her personally and she made a decision and now thinks it is important to remind us all to pay attention and get to know the parents of the other kids.
It doesn't make it better but it does make a difference. There is a huge difference between violence and ratio of teachers to children or a bag left out to verbal abuse.
The initial message scared me. I get that she was trying to encourage parents to know other parents but there was more embedded in the message then just that.
Do I think she should name the center, no. Do I think she needs to explain what she witnessed, no. I do think the message might have sat better if it was relay without the urgency.
I think all parents should know their children's friends' parent regardless of age, location or venue. I think it's an important message at any age.
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| Posted 9/11/09 10:08 PM |
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Re: My VERY important advice to daycare parents (and perhaps all parents who have kids in any sort of school setting)
To those who gave me credit for coming forward about something that I wish never even happened, thank you.
For those who have never witnessed what I did, know that I was very upset and needed my friends after this happened. I have been there for other people a lot and I helplessly watched a friend die over this summer.
This week, the time came for me to lean on other people. My friend, Dancinbarefoot (Darlene) was there for me in a heartbeat in spite of a very busy week that she had in court and in spite of the fact that her own child started daycare this week. Do I feel bad that I scared her? You bet I do. I feel terrible.
I would take it all back if there was any way I could, but I am not the offender in this situation and neither is my friend. I will ask Ron to pull this thread if anyone wants to keep coming at me or the people who stand by me as friends. I will call him at home if I have to. I consider all of you to be my friends, and I ask that you back off and just allow me to warn people about a message that I wish I had sooner.
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| Posted 9/11/09 10:22 PM |
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itkocak
Member since 7/07 7639 total posts
Name:
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Re: My VERY important advice to daycare parents (and perhaps all parents who have kids in any sort of school setting)
Message edited 11/29/2011 4:05:07 PM.
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| Posted 9/11/09 10:26 PM |
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nicrae
He's here!
Member since 12/06 9289 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: My VERY important advice to daycare parents (and perhaps all parents who have kids in any sort of school setting)
If you want to know if it is your daycare just FM Kerie. That is what I did with her first post on this subject and asked her if it was the daycare DD went to. She said it wasn't and that was the end of it.
Message edited 9/11/2009 10:32:43 PM.
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| Posted 9/11/09 10:32 PM |
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Goldi0218
My miracles!
Member since 12/05 23902 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Re: My VERY important advice to daycare parents (and perhaps all parents who have kids in any sort of school setting)
Im floored by this. I tend to stay away from drama on threads but this has me rather perturbed. Kerie offered advice. If you favor the advice, take it. If you needed more information, you should have asked her privately rather than put her in a position where she had to defend herself. It is rather obvious that she was shaken up by what she saw. Let it be.
I cannot think of ONE parent of a daycare aged child (or any other aged child for that matter) who isn't scared to death when they drop their kids off every day entrusting the lives of their infants and toddlers to other people. All she was trying to do was help reduce the risk of incidents by telling us all to be aware and look out for each other. I have advocated for other children in Abby's class before and I will do it again. I would expect the same courtesy from the other parents as well.
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| Posted 9/11/09 10:37 PM |
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MommyofG
just the girls
Member since 5/05 9461 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: My VERY important advice to daycare parents (and perhaps all parents who have kids in any sort of school setting)
Im very nervous, my girls start tomorrow and the daycare is in someones home. NYS licensed but in a home. the kids are not always the same, and different times. I didnt see any parents when I went to interview them, wonder if I will see anyone tomorrow?
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| Posted 9/11/09 10:45 PM |
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lovemy2boys
LIF Adult
Member since 10/07 3915 total posts
Name:
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Re: My VERY important advice to daycare parents (and perhaps all parents who have kids in any sort of school setting)
so sorry you saw what you did But I'm so glad you spoke up. I can't imagine being the mother of that child and not knowing what happened. It's so hard/scary to trust others with our babies. I think more moms (and dads) need to pop in early to pick up kids , come in later, stop in during and early/late lunch to keep these people on guard.
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| Posted 9/11/09 11:20 PM |
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Re: My VERY important advice to daycare parents (and perhaps all parents who have kids in any sort of school setting)
Posted by MommyofG
Im very nervous, my girls start tomorrow and the daycare is in someones home. NYS licensed but in a home. the kids are not always the same, and different times. I didnt see any parents when I went to interview them, wonder if I will see anyone tomorrow?
I think that getting to know the other parents will naturally be a gradual thing. Just make the effort when you do see them. If you leave a few extra minutes in case you bump into someone that you want to start a conversation with, that would be great.
I am actually working on finding a buddy of my DS's from the center. DS has been saying the other kid's name all week  . He has been asking for him more than he asks for Elmo!
Thanks for allowing my message to remain and I hope it stays peaceful here.
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| Posted 9/11/09 11:54 PM |
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