Name related -- WWYD? (a little long)

We recently found out the baby is a boy. Since I met my DH he had always said that he wanted his first born son to be named after him -- same exact name. I always yessed him about it and never really gave it much thought because I always kind of felt that we would have a girl. Now that we know its a boy, of course, I had already pretty much agreed to naming it after DH because I know how much he wanted that.

The problem is -- since gettiing pregnant I've TRIED to get used to the name and I just cant. I'll be honest...I'm not a fan of juniors. I personally feel that its important for a child to have their OWN name. Not to mention...I dont really like DH's name to begin with. We agreed to call him C.J. as a nickname (because I find it weird to call them both by thier first names since it will be the same name) but it just doesnt feel natural. I really just hate the name!

I also feel like: Dh wanted a boy and he got one. Dh wanted the nursery to be sports themed (I wanted a Winnie the Pooh theme sooooo badly) and I gave in to the sports theme because I knew he wanted it so much. And now DH wants his son to be named after him. I gave into that too. So....what do I get?? I kind of felt like naming the baby is one of the most exciting parts and I had THAT decided for me too. So, it feels like the excitment of having a boy has kind of been snatched away from me. If it had been a girl, I wasnt going to just get to pick whatever name I wanted -- DH and I would have had to compromise on a name since we have very different tastes in names.

I guess my question is -- should I suck it up and just get over it and deal with the name since I agreed to it like forever ago and its very important to DH? Or should I talk to him and see if we can come up with another name? I just feel like its a lost cause at this point because DH can be very stubborn and strong-willed...and he's going to say that I already agreed to it

...And go ahead and tell me if you think I'm just being an overly emotional pregnant woman. Maybe I'm makign a big deal out of nothing. I just dont want to HATE my child's name forever

Re: Name related -- WWYD? (a little long)

I don't think that you will HATE the name when the baby is born.

I honestly think you should let your DH know how you feel and say I know you agreed to it, but maybe you can also explore other options- together.

As for the nursery, it can be sports-themed with a few touches of other things here and there. YOU pick the furniture and some NON- sports related things that YOU like to add to the room.



I don't think you are being crazy-hormonal. I would feel the same way.

Re: Name related -- WWYD? (a little long)

I would definitely try to renegotiate. You don't like the name and boy, its going to su@k to have to call your son by it for the rest of your life.

He definitely sounds strongheaded about what he wants and will probably give you some grief since you've technically already agreed to it but you have a right to change your mind, no? This is something you should both do together. Its very special to name someone and you both should try to agree.

Good Luck. It doesn't sound like it is going to be easy.

Re: Name related -- WWYD? (a little long)

I think you should tell your dh how you feel. I don't think you are being overly emotional, a name is an important part of a person's identity. I believe both parents should be in agreement on whatever they choose. Maybe there is a way to compromise.

Re: Name related -- WWYD? (a little long)

Posted by JennyPenny

I don't think that you will HATE the name when the baby is born.

I honestly think you should let your DH know how you feel and say I know you agreed to it, but maybe you can also explore other options- together.

As for the nursery, it can be sports-themed with a few touches of other things here and there. YOU pick the furniture and some NON- sports related things that YOU like to add to the room.



I don't think you are being crazy-hormonal. I would feel the same way.

Re: Name related -- WWYD? (a little long)

You shoud definitely talk to your Dh if it is realy important to you. As for the nursery, maybe you could compromise and have a Winnie the Pooh theme when he's a baby and when he's a toddler you can switch to a big boy sports themed room.

Re: Name related -- WWYD? (a little long)

Re: Name related -- WWYD? (a little long)

Try to talk to him - I would tell DH how I feel

Re: Name related -- WWYD? (a little long)

Re: Name related -- WWYD? (a little long)

i would be honest with your husband about how you feel about the name, and tell him exactly what you wrote in your post. maybe you can work out some kind of compromise.

but if you do name your son the exact name, i don't think you'll hate it forever. once you associate it with your beautiful baby i think you will think of the name differently...

Re: Name related -- WWYD? (a little long)

I definately would sit down with your DH & explain how you are feeling now. I think things truly become more of a reality when you are pregnant & now you know you are having a son. You both have to be comfortable with the name you give your child bc you don't want to have regret down the line.

I do like calling your son by initals though & that is our plan. My DH wants a Jr also if we have a son & I am ok with it. I grew up with my brother & dad with the same name. The difference is our son will be known as JJ rather then his first name, again if we have one.

Re: Name related -- WWYD? (a little long)

You are a better person than I am b/c I refuse refuse to name my son after my my Dh and his late Father. How selfish is that of me???? It's over the top selfish and I know it but don't care. Even worse. His name is Frederick and I just can't see myself having a Frederick, Fred or Freddie. I dilsike the name. I do think it's a great name and a strong name but not for me. I asked him if we cold calll him ricky (since the name ends in a rick) but he said NEVER!!! LOL

If it's a boy, I know this is what he TRULY wants. If I have a *moment* in the delivery room, he'll get his wish. He's not holding his breath though.

We did decide on a name we both like b/c it's only fair. So far that will be the name if it's a boy.

I do have to say that I like CJ. If I could do a nickname out of his first and middle I would and the problem would be solved. It's not do-able b/c the initals are FW.

My Aunt named her son Arthur Brant the IV and she calles him AB. She had no choice in the matter. She had to follow tradition.

I would speak to your DH and see if you have any chance. I feel guilty as all heck for being so selfish but baby naming is so exciting and I just don't want to use that name!!!

GL!!!!

Message edited 3/20/2009 1:03:11 PM.

Re: Name related -- WWYD? (a little long)

I would have a talk with DH about it. We are still going back and forth over names, but if there is a name one of his truly dislikes, then that name is out.

I do not want to do a Jr. either. My family has a ton of same name dads/sons. It has evolved into 'Big Joe and Little Joe' regardless of ages. I hate it and won't do it.

DH is compromising and we are using his first name as baby's middle.

Re: Name related -- WWYD? (a little long)

my friend named her son after her (then) husband and did a different middle name so he wasn't a jr. then, they call the kid by his middle name instead of his first name.

you can do something like that.

Re: Name related -- WWYD? (a little long)

I'm not sure what advice to give you. Definitely you should talk about your feelings and see where it goes. But I'm curious is DH a junior? That would make a difference to me if I was in your situation. I'd feel a little different about messing with a pre-existing family tradition than about discussing your feelings on how to start your own? KWIM?

Re: Name related -- WWYD? (a little long)

You should definitly talk to you DH.
If you really don't like the name and don't feel comfy with it he should know.
Maybe you can make your little boy's middle name your DH's first name.
I'm not a big fan of the juniors anyways. It runs in both mine and DH's family and i told him from the beginning that we're not doing it.
A name is something that you have to live with for the rest of your life so it should be something that your both happy with.

Re: Name related -- WWYD? (a little long)

This is sticky, how do you DH you don't like his name? I don't think you'll hate the name once you see your little baby. Can you name the baby after DH but call him by his middle name instead?

Re: Name related -- WWYD? (a little long)

I have no advice-just a similar situation to share. In my dh's family it is tradition that the first boy gets named after the grandfather. My dh is the 2nd of 2 boys. His brother was named after their grandfather and my dh was named after his father. Now bil had a baby boy last year and named him after fil(which is also dh's name). Down to the same middle name and all. Now we are expecting and don't know the sex yet and I am not even sure I want to know, b/c if it is a boy I will be expected to name him the same name. I am trying to get dh to agree to at least changing the middle name so that it is a little different but I am not sure how that will fly. To top it of when i brought up girls names dh said he was thinking of naming it after his mother!!! I immediately refused that one...I feel your pain.

Re: Name related -- WWYD? (a little long)

I feel so bad for you. My DH is a third and thankfully right after I met him he told me there would not be a fourth
I would talk to DH, but be careful b/c if someone told me they didn't like my name, I would probably be hurt.
Good luck

Re: Name related -- WWYD? (a little long)

You won't hate your child's name.

My DS is a third, does it make me happy that I didn't get to choose my child's name? NO. But it was important to my DH to have our son named after him and his (deceased) father.

Once your DS is born, you will see the name through totally different eyes In theory, I don't "love" my DS' name, but I love my DS with his name, you know?

Trust me, I even had an ex with DH/S' name, I never thought I'd want to name my child that, but I love it "on" him, you know?

Re: Name related -- WWYD? (a little long)

Posted by KateDevine

You won't hate your child's name.

My DS is a third, does it make me happy that I didn't get to choose my child's name? NO. But it was important to my DH to have our son named after him and his (deceased) father.

Once your DS is born, you will see the name through totally different eyes In theory, I don't "love" my DS' name, but I love my DS with his name, you know?

Trust me, I even had an ex with DH/S' name, I never thought I'd want to name my child that, but I love it "on" him, you know?

Re: Name related -- WWYD? (a little long)

Posted by Cakes

Posted by KateDevine

You won't hate your child's name.

My DS is a third, does it make me happy that I didn't get to choose my child's name? NO. But it was important to my DH to have our son named after him and his (deceased) father.

Once your DS is born, you will see the name through totally different eyes In theory, I don't "love" my DS' name, but I love my DS with his name, you know?

Trust me, I even had an ex with DH/S' name, I never thought I'd want to name my child that, but I love it "on" him, you know?

I know it's the point you are trying to make and I happen to agree with you (even though I can't bring myself to do it) BUT your son's name is a VERY nice name! Ok- so it happens to be one of my fave names and maybenot yours, still it would be easy for me if that was the name I was working with.

Re: Name related -- WWYD? (a little long)

we are not sure what we are having yet but if we have a boy, DH wanted a junior. I like his first name (Kevin) but I did NOT want a junior, so we will be giving him a different middle name

At the end of the day, I feel, you carry the baby and deliver him, you pull rank

Re: Name related -- WWYD? (a little long)

dh and i had the same problem (except he's the 3rd and if we had a boy he's be the 4th ). but i talked to him about it once we got pregnant - explained that i understand why it's important to him, but to me naming the baby is one of the most important things you can do and i didn't want to lose out on that. plus i think it's important for my baby to have their own name. then i kind of left it for a while (didn't want to push) and he came back to me one day with a list of other names he liked. turns out we're having a girl but a BIG weight was lifted off of my shoulders after that.

i'm sure your dh cares about you and your feelings, so you should explain yourself to him and how you feel (at least to get it out there). there are so many different ways to compromise too (same first letter, same initials, same first name different middle name [go by the middle name], different first name dh's first name as middle name, etc.) good luck!

ETA: i LOVE my dh's name (harrison) but really wanted a part in naming my own child (that was my issue). if it turned out after exploring our options i liked dh's name the best, i would have gone with it, but i at least wanted both of us to look at all the names out there and choose which one WE wanted for our baby.

Message edited 3/20/2009 3:48:19 PM.

Re: Name related -- WWYD? (a little long)

I think you should talk to your DH. I also think it's important that you and your DH are both happy with the name you choose.

DH and I had a very difficult time picking names. We didn't know what we were having, but before I was even pregnant, I knew DH wanted a IV if we had a boy. I really hated that idea. I would've been more receptive to it if DH had a nice middle name that the baby could go by. I was willing to compromise if we found a nickname that we both liked. DH ended up changing his mind about having a IV and I'm really glad he did. We couldn't agree on names at all though. Finally, when I was 36 weeks pregnant, we each made a list of names we liked. After rejecting many names on each other's lists, we finally narrowed it down to 3 girl names and 4 boy names. We didn't pick the name until DS was born.

Would your DH be willing to consider other names? Maybe you can both pick a few other boys names that you like and see which name best suits your son once you see him. Good luck. Choosing a name can be very frustrating.