| Posted By |
Message |
itsbabytime
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 9644 total posts
Name:
Me
|
Need advice from BTDT moms re: Sleeping/CIO and shrill screaming in almost one year old
I started CIO about 2 mos ago since my DS really never slept. It worked out great. About a week ago DS started waking up in the middle of the night screaming at the top of his lungs - this high pitched shrill scream - the kind where his vocal chords literally vibrate and he gets immediately completely hysterical. The first few times this happened I thought something was wrong so I went to him - picked him up - brought him into bed with us, etc - something I never do since starting Dr. Ferber but, I thought something was wrong.
Well, nothing really seems to be wrong as he is fine during the day and completely fine within seconds of me picking him up but, I just can't bear letting him cio like this - i feel like it isn't good for him and it is heart breaking, not to mention my neighbors probably want to call social services 
Last night I let it go on for almost 30 min and he continued like that FULL SPEED...Is this too much? Is this a phase? Please help! DH, DS and I are exhausted !
ETA: He always had periods where he would wake up in the middle of the night crying - his cry has just changed and he does not stop now...
Message edited 8/26/2008 11:02:47 AM.
|
Posted 8/26/08 7:07 AM  |
| |
|
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
want2beamom
Love my boys soooo much!!!
Member since 8/06 10164 total posts
Name:
True love doesn't end with happily ever after...
|
Re: Need advice from BTDT moms re: Sleeping/CIO and shrill screaming in almost one year old
I think this is def. a stage...and a very hard one My son went through it, and we were going out of our minds with the sound of it. He would do it all the time, not just at night. We just ignored him (even though I did break a few times, but I tried to stay consistent with ignoring him). I would tell him, no shrieking like that, and then just not comment. Finally, it seems like it is starting to get better.
Babies are so smart. They know when they do something, that they will get a certain reaction out of you. When you put him to sleep, shut the sound off his monitor (I am sure you can hear him just fine with his wails!) until he falls asleep. This should help you a little. My aunt told me that when she was doing CIO she used to wear headphones because the crying used to upset her.
|
| Posted 8/26/08 7:54 AM |
| |
|
hope07
LIF Adult
Member since 12/06 1050 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Need advice from BTDT moms re: Sleeping/CIO and shrill screaming in almost one year old
I personally would never do cio! I think its so upsetting for both baby and mom! Its not natural (to me at least).When baby does fall asleep like that... its from exhaustion. If you comfort him will he go back down after you rock him. Babies need comforting to get themselves back to sleep sometimes. Parenting truly is a 24/7 job. ahhhhh. Hope it gets better.
|
| Posted 8/26/08 8:56 AM |
| |
|
|
|
Re: Need advice from BTDT moms re: Sleeping/CIO and shrill screaming in almost one year old
Cailen still does that on occasion. Our rule is the same - we do NOT go in. Ever. We close his door, to keep the noise level down, but also to communicate to him that no one is taking him out or attending to him, and its time for sleep. Its not easy, but it does work. As soon as he sees the door close, he stops crying within 5 minutes....
|
| Posted 8/26/08 9:39 AM |
| |
|
itsbabytime
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 9644 total posts
Name:
Me
|
Re: Need advice from BTDT moms re: Sleeping/CIO and shrill screaming in almost one year old
Posted by hope07
I personally would never do cio! I think its so upsetting for both baby and mom! Its not natural (to me at least).When baby does fall asleep like that... its from exhaustion. If you comfort him will he go back down after you rock him. Babies need comforting to get themselves back to sleep sometimes. Parenting truly is a 24/7 job. ahhhhh. Hope it gets better.
Ok, I am trying not to let this bother me but, it is. I know parenting is a 24/7 job but all babies are not the same and I think some people do not understand that. They think if their child is a good sleeper it is b/c they are doing something "right" well, if you did nothing to "train" them that way then it is not you - they were born like that and, some babies are born the opposite - as was my DS and I am told I was like that as was DH.
I like you thought I would never do CIO but, you know what - my DS did NOT sleep for nearly 10 mos until we did it. At first it was fine - I would rock him to sleep and pray he stayed asleep and would usually have to get up 1-3 times a night to rock him from anywhere from 5 min to 2 hours. When most babies were getting 12, 13, 14 hours of sleep a day my DS was lucky to get SIX, in separate intervals - and, me, forget it. But - the older he got the worse it got. My DS was smart - he knew- if he cried, I would come - and so he would - it got to be the ONLY place he would sleep is ON ME as I rocked him or if he had just gone too many nights without sleeping and IMO - THAT was NOT NATURAL. AND, I could NOT sit down while rocking him either! I literally was sleeping 1-3 hours a night - in ONE hour spurts. And, poor DS - he was LUCKY if he slept 7 hrs - and never straight - and naps? they were ONLY on me - and if i didn't sit in the rocker with him over my shoulder for the whole naptime - there was no nap. Is this the kind of comforting you had in mind? I even tried sleeping in his room - on the floor with a pillow and blanket next to his crib.
Well let me tell you, after reading Dr. Ferber's book and TWO yes, TWO nights of CIO - he started sleeping 11 hours straight - and napping in his crib for 1.5 hours a day, yes, he does wake up sometimes in the middle of the night BUT - until this it was not extreme. Now, my only regret was not doing this sooner. Because, let me tell you , DS is like a differnt baby now so in the end it WAS good for him.
You know it gets me so mad when people judge other people's parenting when every baby is so different so they really have no idea what they are talking about. I had it both ways - when he never slept and we were both zombie's i had family members and the ped yelling at me that I should let him CIO - and, then, I have people like you telling me that parenting is a 24/7 job like I have no idea - trust, me, I do - and this was NOT easy for me either.
I posted this for advice on my question, thank you to the previous posters that gave it to me.
Vent over 
Message edited 8/26/2008 11:52:38 AM.
|
| Posted 8/26/08 10:49 AM |
| |
|
Palebride
I am an amazing bakist
Member since 5/05 13673 total posts
Name:
Lori
|
Re: Need advice from BTDT moms re: Sleeping/CIO and shrill screaming in almost one year old
Lily will wake up once in a while in the middle of the night with a shrill scream. at first, my reaction was that something was wrong and I'd want to go in...but if I wait for a few minutes, she usually calms down and goes back to sleep (last night was a perfect example).
I guess sometimes they just wake up, and they get a little freaked if it doesn't normally happen, so they cry. But once they calm down, they know it's ok.
|
| Posted 8/26/08 10:54 AM |
| |
|
mommy2devin
2 Boys, I need calgon!
Member since 10/07 1572 total posts
Name:
Shannon
|
Re: Need advice from BTDT moms re: Sleeping/CIO and shrill screaming in almost one year old
Posted by itsbabytime
Posted by hope07
I personally would never do cio! I think its so upsetting for both baby and mom! Its not natural (to me at least).When baby does fall asleep like that... its from exhaustion. If you comfort him will he go back down after you rock him. Babies need comforting to get themselves back to sleep sometimes. Parenting truly is a 24/7 job. ahhhhh. Hope it gets better.
Ok, I am trying not to let this bother me but, it is. I know parenting is a 24/7 job but all babies are not the same and I think some people do not understand that. They think if their child is a good sleeper it is b/c they are doing something "right" well, if you did nothing to "train" them that way then it is not you - they were born like that and, some babies are born the opposite - as was my DS and I am told I was like that as was DH.
I like you thought I would never do CIO but, you know what - my DS did NOT sleep for nearly 10 mos until we did it. At first it was fine - I would rock him to sleep and pray he stayed asleep and would usually have to get up 1-3 times a night to rock him from anywhere from 5 min to 2 hours. When most babies were getting 12, 13, 14 hours of sleep a day my DS was lucky to get SIX, in separate intervals - and, me, forget it. But - the older he got the worse it got. My DS was smart - he knew- if he cried, I would come - and so he would - it got to be the ONLY place he would sleep is if I rocked him or if he had just gone too many nights without sleeping and IMO - THAT was NOT NATURAL. I literally was sleeping 1-3 hours a night - in ONE hour spurts. And, poor DS - he was LUCKY if he slept 7 hrs - and never straight - and naps? they were ONLY on me - and if i didn't sit in the rocker with him over my shoulder for the whole naptime - there was no nap. Is this the kind of comforting you had in mind?
Well let me tell you, after reading Dr. Ferber's book and TWO yes, TWO nights of CIO - he started sleeping 11 hours straight - and napping in his crib for 1.5 hours a day, yes, he does wake up sometimes in the middle of the night BUT - until this it was not extreme. Now, my only regret was not doing this sooner. Because, let me tell you , DS is like a differnt baby now so in the end it WAS good for him.
You know it gets me so mad when people judge other people's parenting when every baby is so different so they really have no idea what they are talking about. I had it both ways - when he never slept and we were both zombie's i had family members and the ped yelling at me that I should let him CIO - and, then, I have people like you telling me that parenting is a 24/7 job like I have no idea - trust, me, I do - and this was NOT easy for me either.
I posted this for advice on my question, thank you to the previous posters that gave it to me.
Vent over
From one firm believer in CIO to another... THANK YOU!
It WAS hard to do CIO, but also the best thing for THIS baby and THIS mommy FOR SURE!!!!
P.S. DS does this shrill scream too b/c he knows that it gets attention DURING THE DAY, but thanks to CIO and letting him do this in the middle of the night with no reward for him, he has stopped the middle of the night shriek fest. Hang in there Mama! It is a phase and this too shall pass.......
Many hugs to you for doing what's best for YOUR baby and for YOU!!!!
|
| Posted 8/26/08 10:58 AM |
| |
|
Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
|
Re: Need advice from BTDT moms re: Sleeping/CIO and shrill screaming in almost one year old
I am also with you girls - I CANNOT stand when people write "I can't listen to my baby cry" -- like the rest of us are sitting there laughing, and eating bon bons while this is going on. NO parent likes to hear their child cry.
When we are doing CIO - we have the childs best interest at heart. When they get to a certain age - they need a certain amount of sleep - and they also need to know how to fall asleep on their own IMO.
Anyway- to the OP - Jack's cry all of a sudden turned into a full pitched SCREAMING. It is piercing. It makes me cringe! He doesn't do it all the time but occasionally he will. There was a period where he was doing it every day - for naps/bedtime.
Last night he woke up at like 11 crying. I wasn't sure why since he never gets up anymore - so I went in to check on him and make sure he didn't have a temp - or was wet. Let me tell you - the kid was all smiles the second he was in my bed and just wanted to play. I ended up having to give him a bottle and playing with him for an hour. Little guy tricked me! 
Message edited 8/26/2008 11:38:16 AM.
|
| Posted 8/26/08 11:35 AM |
| |
|
Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
|
Re: Need advice from BTDT moms re: Sleeping/CIO and shrill screaming in almost one year old
double post
Message edited 8/26/2008 11:37:57 AM.
|
| Posted 8/26/08 11:36 AM |
| |
|
Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
|
Re: Need advice from BTDT moms re: Sleeping/CIO and shrill screaming in almost one year old
triple post - what the heck is going on here lol!
Message edited 8/26/2008 11:37:38 AM.
|
| Posted 8/26/08 11:37 AM |
| |
|
Elbee
Zanzibar
Member since 5/05 10767 total posts
Name:
Me
|
Re: Need advice from BTDT moms re: Sleeping/CIO and shrill screaming in almost one year old
do we have the same child? Vincent was up from 11:30 pm - 3 am last night SCREAMING everytime I put him down. He was exhauted - couldn't open his eyes in the light, etc but would not go to sleep. I tried laying with him on the floor, on the couch, leaving him in the crib. I changed him, fed him, took his temp, washed his face - everything I could think of and NOTHING. He screamed like a lunatic. Finally, finally after almost 4 hours, and a round of baby einstein, I put him in his crib and after a bit he fell asleep. I was misreable!
Message edited 8/26/2008 11:46:12 AM.
|
| Posted 8/26/08 11:45 AM |
| |
|
hope07
LIF Adult
Member since 12/06 1050 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Need advice from BTDT moms re: Sleeping/CIO and shrill screaming in almost one year old
I totally understand cio it works for some people! Thats why I said I "personally" wouldnt do it... I guess I was just trying to look at it from a different point of veiw. My DS is a TERRIBLE TERRIBLE sleeper (im sure youve seen my many posts about it) and I totally agree that some babies sleep and others dont... its just the way they are. I just wanted to put other options out there besides cio... its not for everyone... Im sure there are other who couldnt do also  Sorry.
|
| Posted 8/27/08 6:14 PM |
| |
|
Porrruss
Nya nya nya
Member since 5/05 11618 total posts
Name:
Amy
|
Re: Need advice from BTDT moms re: Sleeping/CIO and shrill screaming in almost one year old
Posted by hope07
I totally understand cio it works for some people! Thats why I said I "personally" wouldnt do it... I guess I was just trying to look at it from a different point of veiw. My DS is a TERRIBLE TERRIBLE sleeper (im sure youve seen my many posts about it) and I totally agree that some babies sleep and others dont... its just the way they are. I just wanted to put other options out there besides cio... its not for everyone... Im sure there are other who couldnt do also Sorry.
I think the problem is that she specifically asked for BTDT CIO moms- not for other's personal opinions or for other options. She's already chosen CIO as her option.
As a CIO mother, I admit I was a little taken aback by your first response- and I'm glad you explained your intentions.
|
| Posted 8/27/08 6:27 PM |
| |
|
Porrruss
Nya nya nya
Member since 5/05 11618 total posts
Name:
Amy
|
Re: Need advice from BTDT moms re: Sleeping/CIO and shrill screaming in almost one year old
DD just started doing this a few nights ago. I'm attributing it to teething.
|
| Posted 8/27/08 6:28 PM |
| |
|
lvdolphins
My Loves!
Member since 5/05 46292 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Need advice from BTDT moms re: Sleeping/CIO and shrill screaming in almost one year old
Posted by Porrruss
DD just started doing this a few nights ago. I'm attributing it to teething.
This is what I was going to say as well.
This is the only time DS has done this.
Wake up screaming like something really bad happened.
I'd go in, soothe him for a bit and lay him back down.
I am a CIO believer and it definitley has worked for us.
|
| Posted 8/27/08 7:57 PM |
| |
|
