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LadyBug1209
Mommy to FOUR little men!
Member since 8/08 9655 total posts
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Need some opinions! OOT Wedding - WWYD?
Ok, so I really need some opinions here bc I really, truly don't know what to do!!
I am in my best friend's wedding on April 16th in Massachusetts. DH and I will have to be there on Friday afternoon for the Rehearsal and then the wedding is on Saturday night. I can't bring myself to leave DS for 3 days and even if I could, I have no one to watch him... plus, he's BF.
My friend keeps asking me who is watching the baby that weekend and hasn't once offered for me to bring hm. I get that some people just don't want babies at their wedding, but we live 2 states away and DS will only be 4 months. If the roles were reversed, I wouldn't think twice about it, but I'm kinda tiptoeing around the subject with her. Is it too ballsy for me to ask to bring him? DH will have him the entire time so it won't interfere with pics or anything. I just don't know what to do and the wedding is VERY soon!
WWYD? 
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Posted 3/16/11 3:42 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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bicosi
life is a carousel
Member since 7/07 14956 total posts
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M
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Re: Need some opinions! OOT Wedding - WWYD?
Yes, it's ballsy to bring him IMHO.. But being that it's your BFF, I would ask her.. maybe she thinks that you DO have back up or that you DO want to have that alone time away from the baby. kwim? 
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| Posted 3/16/11 3:44 PM |
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Marcie
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Re: Need some opinions! OOT Wedding - WWYD?
Do you have a relative that can come with you and stay at the hotel while you are at 'functions'. Honestly, if there isn't, I would go to anything but the wedding and have DH not go...but that is what I would do
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| Posted 3/16/11 3:45 PM |
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Ian&EmmesMommy23
My family is complete!
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Diana
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Re: Need some opinions! OOT Wedding - WWYD?
i think because you're BFing you should ask. is your DC EBF? if so then you really don't have much choice. If your DC takes a bottle, then I would try to find someone and exhaust all your means because asking.
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| Posted 3/16/11 3:47 PM |
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LadyBug1209
Mommy to FOUR little men!
Member since 8/08 9655 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need some opinions! OOT Wedding - WWYD?
Posted by bicosi
Yes, it's ballsy to bring him IMHO.. But being that it's your BFF, I would ask her.. maybe she thinks that you DO have back up or that you DO want to have that alone time away from the baby. kwim?
No, I hear you! That's why I'm so torn.
Yeah I might go about it in a round about way to feel her out. I don't want to give her any added stress on her wedding day!
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| Posted 3/16/11 3:47 PM |
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Rycois
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J
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Re: Need some opinions! OOT Wedding - WWYD?
What do you say when she asks who is watching him?
Can you just tell her you haven't been able to make arrangements yet?
If she's not OK with you bringing him, are you able to bring someone with you to watch him during the wedding, or prepared to have DH come along for the trip but miss the actual wedding?
We have a wedding in Key West in May - my BIL. They prefer we don't bring the kids (but they're in the wedding party  so they want them at the church and not reception). My mom is unable to travel with us b/c she is a teacher, and has a 6-yr old daughter, so I'm pretty much my own babysitter. DH is obviously going to be involved full force - I will go back to the hotel with the kids and miss the good stuff 
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| Posted 3/16/11 3:47 PM |
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LadyBug1209
Mommy to FOUR little men!
Member since 8/08 9655 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need some opinions! OOT Wedding - WWYD?
Posted by Marcie
Do you have a relative that can come with you and stay at the hotel while you are at 'functions'. Honestly, if there isn't, I would go to anything but the wedding and have DH not go...but that is what I would do
I was actually thinking that but I don't know who I'd ask! That would be the best scenario.
I was also thinking of skipping the Rehearsl and just going up on Saturday, but IDK how she would take that. I'd be upset if she missed my RD...
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| Posted 3/16/11 3:50 PM |
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LadyBug1209
Mommy to FOUR little men!
Member since 8/08 9655 total posts
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Re: Need some opinions! OOT Wedding - WWYD?
He is BF AND takes bottles, so he would be able to stay with someone else.
When she asks, I just tell her that I'm having a hard time finding someone. That would def be the opp for her to offer but she hasn't... which pretty much tells me that it's not OK.
Bringing someone with us would be PERFECT. I just dont know who and to bring a babysitter along would be  !!!
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| Posted 3/16/11 3:54 PM |
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Shelly
She's 7!!!
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Re: Need some opinions! OOT Wedding - WWYD?
I would explain the situation and tell her that because you are BF- you can't leave your child that long.
I think the best thing would be to bring the baby to Mass, and try to get a sitter for the actual wedding. I'm sure someone knows someone who could waltch the baby during the wedding. In Boston, there is a babysitting service called PArents in a Pinch where they have trained babysitters you can trust for a few hours.
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| Posted 3/16/11 3:56 PM |
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jlk51496
Mom of 3 - YIKES! =)
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Katie
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Re: Need some opinions! OOT Wedding - WWYD?
is there a niece, cousin, another friend, parent, aunt that can come up with you and watch your DC in the hotel with you... You will prob enjoy yourself more than having worry about a new newborn... plus you might be to busy being that you are IN the wedding!
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| Posted 3/16/11 3:56 PM |
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Rycois
Blessed with 2blue/2pink
Member since 12/05 13341 total posts
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J
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Re: Need some opinions! OOT Wedding - WWYD?
No matter what you decide, you'll def. want to give her a heads up, if she needs you all day for the actual wedding, that you'll need pump breaks! I didn't realize the horror of that when DS1 was about 12 wks old. I had a wedding and had to leave b/c my breasts grew so big they came out of my dress and were SO sore. I went home and pumped 22oz in about 5 minutes 
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| Posted 3/16/11 4:00 PM |
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neener1211
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Member since 4/07 22952 total posts
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J
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Re: Need some opinions! OOT Wedding - WWYD?
I was in the same boat as you, but DS was in the wedding and DD was not invited to it. So, I brought my sister with me to watch DD in the room while we were at the wedding. I paid for all of her expenses, and I paid her the money that she'd be missing at work.
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| Posted 3/16/11 4:00 PM |
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ali120206
2 Boys
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Re: Need some opinions! OOT Wedding - WWYD?
My friend was in a wedding when her DS was 4 months and EBF - she just brought a family member with her to watch DS while doing wedding related things.
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| Posted 3/16/11 4:01 PM |
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4PsInaPod
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Member since 7/07 10079 total posts
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D
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Re: Need some opinions! OOT Wedding - WWYD?
Your Mom would totally come!! Is she away?
IMHO - I wouldn't bring DS with me to the wedding. You'll be worrying about him all night, taking care of him all night. Wouldn't be able to enjoy yourself (not that he's not enjoyable, I don't mean it like that)
If you are totally stuck. I would skip RD and just go up Sat.
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| Posted 3/16/11 4:02 PM |
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LadyBug1209
Mommy to FOUR little men!
Member since 8/08 9655 total posts
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Re: Need some opinions! OOT Wedding - WWYD?
Posted by DPerotti
Your Mom would totally come!! Is she away?
IMHO - I wouldn't bring DS with me to the wedding. You'll be worrying about him all night, taking care of him all night. Wouldn't be able to enjoy yourself (not that he's not enjoyable, I don't mean it like that)
If you are totally stuck. I would skip RD and just go up Sat.
My parents only close the store on Sunday & Monday so she can't! That would have been PERFECT!
I know exactly what you mean... I kinda want the night of fun myself, but it just sux that it is so far from home!
Skipping the RD and going up on Saturday could possibly work bc my parents could keep him on Saturday night and my sister or SIL can watch him during the day for me. I'm just scared to tell her that I'll be missing it! LOL
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| Posted 3/16/11 4:08 PM |
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allIwant
Love my crazy life!
Member since 1/10 9170 total posts
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Re: Need some opinions! OOT Wedding - WWYD?
Are you close with any of her friends? maybe they have a sitter they love that could watch him while you are up there. Such a tough situation Sorry I don't have better advice. But I guess since she isn't saying it is ok she doesn't want him there. But if you don't have anyone then maybe your dh will have to watch him. You could tell her that and see what she says
Good luck!!
eta: if it were me I would totally understand if you couldn't make the RD
Message edited 3/16/2011 4:17:31 PM.
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| Posted 3/16/11 4:16 PM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
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Marisa
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Re: Need some opinions! OOT Wedding - WWYD?
April 16th is only a few weeks away -
If this is your close friend, I see NO reason to tip toe around anything - and don't wait until the very last minute to bring it up - you're going to have to address it eventually KWIM?
Tell her your options and let her decide what she wants you to do (Bring the baby and NOT miss her RD, leave the baby home and miss the RD etc)
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| Posted 3/16/11 4:16 PM |
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LadyBug1209
Mommy to FOUR little men!
Member since 8/08 9655 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need some opinions! OOT Wedding - WWYD?
Posted by allIwant
Are you close with any of her friends? maybe they have a sitter they love that could watch him while you are up there. Such a tough situation Sorry I don't have better advice. But I guess since she isn't saying it is ok she doesn't want him there. But if you don't have anyone then maybe your dh will have to watch him. You could tell her that and see what she says
Good luck!!
eta: if it were me I would totally understand if you couldn't make the RD
Not really... and I am seriously the first one of all my friends to have a baby! So no one understands, KWIM?
I just texted to ask her about exactly what time makeip/hair/pics will be on the day of the wedding to try and figure out what to do and she already wrote back with "Ugh, are you planning on only coming up for Sat?? :(" This is not going to end well... LOL
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| Posted 3/16/11 4:29 PM |
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LadyBug1209
Mommy to FOUR little men!
Member since 8/08 9655 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need some opinions! OOT Wedding - WWYD?
Posted by MarisaK
April 16th is only a few weeks away -
If this is your close friend, I see NO reason to tip toe around anything - and don't wait until the very last minute to bring it up - you're going to have to address it eventually KWIM?
Tell her your options and let her decide what she wants you to do (Bring the baby and NOT miss her RD, leave the baby home and miss the RD etc)
I know...
POOR PLANNING, MARIA!!! 
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| Posted 3/16/11 4:29 PM |
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4PsInaPod
My Loves <3
Member since 7/07 10079 total posts
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D
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Re: Need some opinions! OOT Wedding - WWYD?
Posted by Maria31
I just texted to ask her about exactly what time makeip/hair/pics will be on the day of the wedding to try and figure out what to do and she already wrote back with "Ugh, are you planning on only coming up for Sat?? :(" This is not going to end well... LOL
perfect opportunity to tell her your dilema.
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| Posted 3/16/11 4:30 PM |
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Marcie
Complete Happiness :)
Member since 5/05 27789 total posts
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LOVE being a Mommy!
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Re: Need some opinions! OOT Wedding - WWYD?
Posted by DPerotti
Posted by Maria31
I just texted to ask her about exactly what time makeip/hair/pics will be on the day of the wedding to try and figure out what to do and she already wrote back with "Ugh, are you planning on only coming up for Sat?? :(" This is not going to end well... LOL
perfect opportunity to tell her your dilema.
I agree
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| Posted 3/16/11 4:32 PM |
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LadyBug1209
Mommy to FOUR little men!
Member since 8/08 9655 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need some opinions! OOT Wedding - WWYD?
Posted by DPerotti
Posted by Maria31
I just texted to ask her about exactly what time makeip/hair/pics will be on the day of the wedding to try and figure out what to do and she already wrote back with "Ugh, are you planning on only coming up for Sat?? :(" This is not going to end well... LOL
perfect opportunity to tell her your dilema.
Yup!
I wrote "Just trying to figure out what I'm going to do. Didn't think it would be so hard!"
and she responded with...
"Hopefully something will work out, and if not just let me know. Good thing we decided not to do a destination wedding..."
EWW, that just p*ssed me off! 
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| Posted 3/16/11 4:34 PM |
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lvdolphins
My Loves!
Member since 5/05 46292 total posts
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Re: Need some opinions! OOT Wedding - WWYD?
I would just come out and ask her.
Actually, if you can leave your DS home with your mom Sat/Sun, I don't think missing Rehearsal is *that* bad.
You'll be there for all the other stuff and your DS will be taken care of.
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| Posted 3/16/11 4:36 PM |
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4PsInaPod
My Loves <3
Member since 7/07 10079 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Need some opinions! OOT Wedding - WWYD?
Posted by Maria31
Posted by DPerotti
Posted by Maria31
I just texted to ask her about exactly what time makeip/hair/pics will be on the day of the wedding to try and figure out what to do and she already wrote back with "Ugh, are you planning on only coming up for Sat?? :(" This is not going to end well... LOL
perfect opportunity to tell her your dilema.
Yup!
I wrote "Just trying to figure out what I'm going to do. Didn't think it would be so hard!"
and she responded with...
"Hopefully something will work out, and if not just let me know. Good thing we decided not to do a destination wedding..."
EWW, that just p*ssed me off!
now jsut say. . ."is he allowed to come? Just trying to figure out best option"
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| Posted 3/16/11 4:36 PM |
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Marcie
Complete Happiness :)
Member since 5/05 27789 total posts
Name:
LOVE being a Mommy!
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Re: Need some opinions! OOT Wedding - WWYD?
Posted by Maria31
Posted by DPerotti
Posted by Maria31
I just texted to ask her about exactly what time makeip/hair/pics will be on the day of the wedding to try and figure out what to do and she already wrote back with "Ugh, are you planning on only coming up for Sat?? :(" This is not going to end well... LOL
perfect opportunity to tell her your dilema.
Yup!
I wrote "Just trying to figure out what I'm going to do. Didn't think it would be so hard!"
and she responded with...
"Hopefully something will work out, and if not just let me know. Good thing we decided not to do a destination wedding..."
EWW, that just p*ssed me off!
I would tell her the truth...that if you can't have someone come with you...you will have to bring him or that maybe your DH will not be able to come and that you need breaks throughout the day to pump. etc.... You need to put it all out there
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| Posted 3/16/11 4:36 PM |
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