Re: New Mom, 3 weeks, this is so hard!

Oh sweetie, the first few weeks are the hardest!!!!!!!! TRUST ME, it gets 1,000 times better. I remember the first week saying I can't believe people have more than 1 child".

Each day it gets better and better and before you know it, you are feeling like yourself again, you are on a routine and you start to enjoy being a mom!!

Cry if you feel like crying...tell your DH how you are feeling, dont hold your feelings in and DON'T feel ashamed~

Re: New Mom, 3 weeks, this is so hard!

Its so hard in the beginning..even now its no piece of cake but you adjust and it does get better. I remember when my son was about a week old looking out the window just crying and saying I want my old life back, what did I sign up for..but it does get easier. I know everyone says it but take it one day at a time. Your running on no sleep, there is no book on how to be a parent so you just go trial and error but know that we have all been there..even the people with "perfect" babies have been. Lifamilies was my savior those weeks home after the baby was born..i didnt even post I just read and searched..it was a godsend..many to you and if you need to talk FM me!!!

Re: New Mom, 3 weeks, this is so hard!

Oh, I'm so sorry! I think becoming a parent is harder than anyone ever expects, and then you feel guilty because you think you should be glowing and happy, but you are just tired all the time, in over your head, and if your hormones are off, upset.

You are not a bad parent if your baby cries a lot, though I know I felt the same when my son was colicky. And most newborns do cry a lot. All you can do is try to meet DCs needs and rule out health issues. Then hold DC and try to comfort. Happiest Baby on ther Block has good ideas, and try swaddloing. It helps many babies.

As for you, definitely talk to your doctor if you think your sadness is PPD. It is pretty normal for women to be emotional and kind of depressed after giving birth though. So it may not be PPD, may just be hormones. If there is any help available to you, take it, even if someone can only watch DC for a couple hours in the morning so you can sleep. Lack of sleep does a number on your mood definitely.

It does get better--progressively so. I think by one month I felt much more comfortable with DC, then when they smile at you for the first time, it makes it all seem worthwhile. Now at 5 months, it seems as if DS does something adorable all the time. Newborns are hard, they don't give you much feedback initially, plus as a first time parent, you are feeling your way.

Re: New Mom, 3 weeks, this is so hard!

Oh I remember being where you are. It doesn't make you a bad mom. It was awful. I remember being so resentful of my daughter and how she made MY life stop. I hated it! I wasn't ready. It took a long time for me to get over it.

My suggestions:

Surround yourself with truly supportive people

Find time for yourself every day (even if it's an extra long shower)

Once a week at least make it a point to get out with out your DC. Even if it's walking through the supermarket, just some non-mommy time.

Don't be afraid to ask for help, it doesn't make you a failure as a mom

Vent to supportive people who will listen

Start an appreciation journal- write 5 things that you are grateful for everyday, even if it's just air to breathe!!



You are not alone many of us have went through it.

Re: New Mom, 3 weeks, this is so hard!

It is SOOO hard in the beginning- I remember being anxious and afraid the minute the sun went down since I didn't know what was in store for me. Add the hormones in and you got a fun few weeks- it does get better, I promise- just hang in there.

You are not a bad mommy- just a new, sleep deprived one- it will get better

Re: New Mom, 3 weeks, this is so hard!

Re: New Mom, 3 weeks, this is so hard!

I never knew how hard it was until I was there either. Being pregnant was like a dream for me. I felt great. Was pampered. Had so much attention. And then BAM, you're thrown into the hardest challenge of your life. This is completely normal. For me, I still am afraid to have another because of how bad I felt the first 2 months. Instead of happy memories of my baby being so tiny (and he never cried),I shudder when I think of it because of how miserable I felt. Miserable because life had changed in a blink. Miserable because I had no control over everything anymore. Miserable because I was so tired. But at 3 months when I went back to work I felt so much better. You'll get there. And everyday now I think how much better and better it gets everyday. They're not going to be so little and needy for their whole lives. Remember that. And the crying will subside. Hang in there. You have the greatest support networ right here!

Re: New Mom, 3 weeks, this is so hard!

I felt the same way when my son wasa first born. He cried and cried. The only thing that calmed me and him was listening to music that I enjoyed. I am not kidding I would ignore his crying and hold him listening to music just trying to focus on the music and dance with him. It worked... I think because I relaxed and he felt it. Is there something that you really enjoy that you can do while holding the baby...maybe in a sling? If it doesn't help him relax at least it will keep you sane.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel. My baby cried and cried for months and then he became a very easy baby. We could take him anywhere and he was always good....except in the car (he cried in the car until he was a yr.) It will get better, but you have to take care of yourself in the meantime, as well as the baby. If it gets to be too much, enlist help if you can.

Good luck

Re: New Mom, 3 weeks, this is so hard!

It definately gets better

Re: New Mom, 3 weeks, this is so hard!

Posted by MommyMcg

You have no idea what being a mom is like until you are one, and I feel like I am having a very hard time adjusting. I am exhausted, the baby cries all the time, and at times I feel like I just can't listen to it anymore. Have any of you ever felt this way. I feel like a terrible mother... I am so sad...I know that this could be post partum hormones as well, but all the happy and joyful feeling that I thought I would have just don't seem to be there... Any help or suggestion would be greatly appreciated.
TIA

Re: New Mom, 3 weeks, this is so hard!

It gets easier I promise. 3-5 weeks from now it will be very different ad much better. Hang in there, this will all be a fuzzy memory before long.

Re: New Mom, 3 weeks, this is so hard!

Thank you all so much for all the support! It makes me feel sooooo much better seeing that I am not alone. The guilt for being not happy and sad has been eating me alive. I feel at least now that there is hope that things will get better. Thank you all again so much!

Re: New Mom, 3 weeks, this is so hard!

You're not a terrible mother!!

Your hormones are so messed up after you give birth. I cried all the time for no reason right after DD was born. I was exhausted! You need some rest- is there anyone that can help you?

I'm here if you need to talk! It will get better, I promise!

Re: New Mom, 3 weeks, this is so hard!

Jacob was colic and cried 24/7 for the first 3 months. I also had bad PPD and felt that I couldnt listen to him anymore. It does get better...it may not feel like it now but it does...I promise!

Re: New Mom, 3 weeks, this is so hard!

Hand in there! Yes, it's very hard. I felt like a total failure the first 2 months. DS was crying from 9am to 9pm if I did not hold him in my arms. He was only napping on me. I had to wait for DH to come home to take a shower. I was exhausted, BFing, recovering from a c-section and it was horrible. I questioned myself as a mom. I thought I could never get DS to be happy.

But I kept doing it . And it does get better. Really!

Nobody can ever really explain what it is to be PG, giving birth, and coming home with a baby. It's slightly different for all women but in general people "forget" a bit. Otherwise we would never have more than 1 child.

It's normal to be overwhelmed. So many things are new all at once!

Re: New Mom, 3 weeks, this is so hard!

DD is almost 2 weeks and I feel your pain. Last night when she was wouldn't sleep and wanted to eat almost every hour I was feeling really down. I was so tired and down on myself. DD is all and all a pretty good baby so far, she really doesn't cry that much or fuss, but when it comes to nighttime feedings she exhausts me and I think, how can I keep doing this?! Everyone says it gets better/easier so I'm taking their word for it!! Hang in there ! You are a GREAT mom

Re: New Mom, 3 weeks, this is so hard!

It is crazy hard in the beginning

Re: New Mom, 3 weeks, this is so hard!

being a new mom is SO hard. we have all been there.

my advice - ASK FOR HELP. just do it. i think you'll find that people are more than willing to relieve you for a little while. during that time, do something for yourself, like a manicure or a massage or a walk or a NAP.

it DOES get better - this won't last forever

Re: New Mom, 3 weeks, this is so hard!

Yes! It is HARD!!!!

My suggestions are this - vent on here!!! Ask for us to support you - and get coffee. Lots and lots of coffee. Put DC down and do the dishes to drown out the crying. Let your baby cry for a bit in a safe place and just take a shower..... I promise nothing will happen!!!!

Re: New Mom, 3 weeks, this is so hard!

Being a mom is very hard! I too was not prepared for how little sleep I was going to get. Your body does adjust though! I always needed 8-10 hr of sleep .... now I am fine on 4-5. its amazing how your body responds!

Swaddle your baby.... Tightly!

Re: New Mom, 3 weeks, this is so hard! ****Thank you all so much**** Small Update****

Again, I just want to thank you all for all your help and suppoert! I thank god for all of you!!!

Re: New Mom, 3 weeks, this is so hard! ****Thank you all so much**** Small Update****

Posted by MommyMcg

Again, I just want to thank you all for all your help and suppoert! I thank god for all of you!!!

Re: New Mom, 3 weeks, this is so hard! ****Thank you all so much**** Small Update****

I am still a new mom too, but it get's easier!!!

I remember not a day going by where I would not cry. Now I don't remember the last time I cried!

you will get through and you and your baby will learn together!

Re: New Mom, 3 weeks, this is so hard! ****Thank you all so much**** Small Update****

I have felt like that many time in the beginining..what helps is taking breaks..having a great support system.
Just being truthful with yourself and realizing when you need to take a drive or be alone for a little bit to get yourself together. You are absolutly right PEOPLE have no idea what it's like being a parent unless they experience it.

I know it's hard to hear but it does get better..i had twins and i thought the day was never going to come but it does and then it's still hard but in different ways. Hang in there.