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MrsRbk
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Michelle
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Re: No Children in RE's Waiting Room
Posted by snowbunny
Posted by CAH127
Posted by LisaW
It always made me sad....
It doesn't bother me that much now...most of the time, but on days when I know bad news is coming its like a knife in my heart
And, sometimes it makes me angry. Not when I see a mother with her child, but when I see FULL families there in the waiting room...mommy, daddy, grandma, grandpa, and nanny in tow...that pisses me off to no end. Have some freaking compassion 
I have to say this is exactly how I feel.
The few times I have seen children in waiting area, there is a big scene with the child crying and the mother and child become the center of the waiting area. When it gets to that point, I feel it is rude considering what people are there for.
How many of you will hide your kids from site you don't upset those TTC?
It's great that you can feel okay about it, but many women cannot. And it's not about having to "hide" anything from people TTC.
I am very sensitive about other's peoples feelings regarding pregnancy, etc... I do my best to not make a huge big deal out of my pregnancy around those I know who are still struggling. Going through IF is one of the most difficult things I've ever experienced in my life, and for me... seeing kids in the waiting room of the RE's office was difficult. It was especially difficult when I was going through my miscarriage and had to sit there in the waiting room waiting to have a sono to confirm there was no longer a baby there, having to watch these children. For the most part, people respected the sensitivity of the situation of others in the waiting room and would wait in the hallway, but that didn't always happen.
Message edited 1/27/2009 10:10:41 AM.
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Posted 1/27/09 10:09 AM  |
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KrisT
Two Boys for Me!!
Member since 1/07 5213 total posts
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Kristin
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Re: No Children in RE's Waiting Room
Posted by snowbunny
What people are there for is to have a kid.
Hopefully each of us one day will have a kid that will sometimes need to be taken to dr appointments with us.
I can't believe the same crowd that wants kids so badly gets so bent out of shape when they see others with their kids or learn others are pregnant.
How many of you will hide your kids from site you don't upset those TTC?
I think that there are very few "safe" places where women dealing with IF can go and not deal with kids or PG - like this board or the IF GTGs!
I think that the RE's office also can be such a place. I know that when I first started fertility testing at my ob-gyns's office, it was incredibly painful for me to sit there with all of the PG women.
I also can guarantee that if I ever get PG, I will be COMPLETELY sensitive to other women who are TTC and/or dealing with IF. If it is too difficult for a friend dealing with IF to see my child, then I will "hide" my child and meet her for lunch alone!!
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| Posted 1/27/09 10:40 AM |
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MrsMessina
Thankful for our miracles!
Member since 2/07 7254 total posts
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Re: No Children in RE's Waiting Room
Posted by snowbunny
I can't believe the same crowd that wants kids so badly gets so bent out of shape when they see others with their kids or learn others are pregnant.
How many of you will hide your kids from site you don't upset those TTC?
I don't think that's a fair accusation or assumption to make. People who have struggled however long or short of a time are entitled to feel how they will. That being said, I think most if not all of us have a tremendous respect for one another's feelings... it's not that we're 'getting so bent out of shape when we learn others are pregnant' - it's that we're continuing to grieve or feel the fact that we're not.
I have had several friends get PG and go on to have their kids... their whole PG they never shoved it in my face that they were pg. I know and they know they're pg- I went to their showers voluntarily, etc... but they were still there for me as much as they could be knowing that I was still struggling. Obviously life goes on, but no ones feelings should have to suffer as a result.
ETA: I realized I never answered how I feel about this...I got distracted. I can honestly say at different times in my journey I felt different ways. Early on just the sight of a baby could send me into tears.... when I wasn't expecting to see one. Now I'm fine with it. I do agree that when it can be avoided, it should be, but I don't think it's fair to tell a mom that she can't try again just because she can't find a sitter for her child at the crack of dawn- especially when she is the main caregiver of that child.
Message edited 1/28/2009 12:04:11 PM.
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| Posted 1/27/09 11:26 AM |
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CAH127
LIF Adult
Member since 7/07 1694 total posts
Name:
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Re: No Children in RE's Waiting Room
Posted by snowbunny
Posted by CAH127
Posted by LisaW
It always made me sad....
It doesn't bother me that much now...most of the time, but on days when I know bad news is coming its like a knife in my heart
And, sometimes it makes me angry. Not when I see a mother with her child, but when I see FULL families there in the waiting room...mommy, daddy, grandma, grandpa, and nanny in tow...that pisses me off to no end. Have some freaking compassion
I have to say this is exactly how I feel.
The few times I have seen children in waiting area, there is a big scene with the child crying and the mother and child become the center of the waiting area. When it gets to that point, I feel it is rude considering what people are there for.
What people are there for is to have a kid.
Hopefully each of us one day will have a kid that will sometimes need to be taken to dr appointments with us.
I can't believe the same crowd that wants kids so badly gets so bent out of shape when they see others with their kids or learn others are pregnant.
How many of you will hide your kids from site you don't upset those TTC?
For this VERY post, I was not even going to respond to this thread.
Since my post was quoted, just to add, the few times I have witnessed children in the waiting area, both husband and wife were there so clearly there was not a babysitting issue. As I stated, the few times, the child was crying and it became the center of attention for the whole waiting area. I just found the whole thing insensitive.
Message edited 1/28/2009 10:49:23 AM.
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| Posted 1/27/09 3:06 PM |
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annienyc
LIF Adult
Member since 10/06 1347 total posts
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Re: No Children in RE's Waiting Room
This is very hard for me as a mother of a 3 1/2 yr old ds and now suffering from fert issues. I am very sympathetic to the feelings of those with IF as I am one of them. Please realize that those with children in the waiting are are still your peers and they are not trying to hurt anyone by bringing their children in.
We have been TTC unsucessfully and are now seeing a RE at East Coast Fert. We have NO FAMILY close by that can come in the morning to watch ds while i go 3-5x a week for monitoring during cycles. DH has to be at work by 8am in NYC so things are difficult to us. I have to admit DS is not the most well-behaved child either... He goes to preschool 4 days a week but school does not start until 9:30 and monitoring is between 6-8:30am - so what exactly is someone like us supposed to do? --> Not exactly looking for a real answer, just trying to share our perspective.
I am truly sorry if my active DS is hurtful to some and if I had the choice to leave him with someone I gladly would...
I think the main thing I am trying to say is that even though we come with children to the RE - we are still your peers - we are most likely going through the same thing as you and it is just as emotionally trying on us trying to be a mother, wife and TTC....imagine trying to put on a happy face all the time for a toddler who understand when mom is sad and when mom is down.
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| Posted 1/27/09 9:03 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: No Children in RE's Waiting Room
It always upset me to see a child there. While I'm fully AWARE thats what I was there for, it still bothered me and now that I have a child, I would not bring him there, I would hire a babysitter if I had to before I would bring him.
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| Posted 1/28/09 8:11 AM |
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karenk71
Love
Member since 6/06 1547 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: No Children in RE's Waiting Room
I have to admit it bothers me a little. Not as much as sitting at the ob/gyn with a whole room full of pg women...but I would prefer not to see babies at the RE.
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| Posted 1/28/09 9:31 AM |
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mcl916
my two loves
Member since 10/06 5133 total posts
Name:
Megan
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Re: No Children in RE's Waiting Room
I never minded seeing children in the waiting room. And now that I have DS and would like to try for #2 soon I have no idea what I will do with him. I would like to keep our situation to ourselves this time and not involve everyone so I'm not sure how I would go about getting sitters for a few hours every morning (we live over an hour away from teh RE). Hopefully I will be able to go up and get back hom before DH goes to work, but there may be a few times he has to come. I truly hope I don't offend/upset anyone 
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| Posted 1/28/09 10:30 AM |
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CAH127
LIF Adult
Member since 7/07 1694 total posts
Name:
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Re: No Children in RE's Waiting Room
X - Meant to post elsewhere
Message edited 1/28/2009 10:47:53 AM.
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| Posted 1/28/09 10:44 AM |
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LisaW
Time for me to FLY!
Member since 5/05 13199 total posts
Name:
Did I ever tell you that I hate people?
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Re: No Children in RE's Waiting Room
I just want to clarify that I totally understand that childcare at 7am in very tough....and I know that sometimes people have no choice but to bring their child...
Its when I see a family that it really annoys me...b/c obviously someone could be elsewhere with the child...and at least at my clinic, seating can be very limited. I can't tell you how many times I stood there with ovaries as large as softballs while mommy, daddy and the 2 year old all had their own seats 
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| Posted 1/28/09 10:47 AM |
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Re: No Children in RE's Waiting Room
Posted by LisaW
I can't tell you how many times I stood there with ovaries as large as softballs while mommy, daddy and the 2 year old all had their own seats
This is just general rudeness. Like the time DH and I were there, obviously together, and there were no two seats together b/c some chicks had their bags on the only empty seats next to them. Gimme a break!!
Shawnna
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| Posted 1/28/09 11:09 AM |
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Re: No Children in RE's Waiting Room
But to answer the OP..yes it does bother me, but what can you do. It's a fact of life that other people have kids and no matter where you go, they might be there. I like that the practice is alerting people to the need for sensitivity b/c let's face it, most people are just oblivious. That said, if you are there and your kid starts acting up, remove thyselves before a scene gets created...as you should do in any public place!!
Here's my thing though...I never, ever, don't care how young/old my kid is want them to be exposed to the who-ha scan!!
Shawnna
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| Posted 1/28/09 11:18 AM |
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LisaW
Time for me to FLY!
Member since 5/05 13199 total posts
Name:
Did I ever tell you that I hate people?
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Re: No Children in RE's Waiting Room
Posted by BaseballWidow
Here's my thing though...I never, ever, don't care how young/old my kid is want them to be exposed to the who-ha scan!!
Shawnna
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| Posted 1/28/09 11:24 AM |
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kelsept
LIF Adolescent
Member since 12/07 833 total posts
Name:
Kelley
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Re: No Children in RE's Waiting Room
They gave me my baby! Although, that would really annoy me if i am coming in for baby number 2 and i could not bring DD!! It is not easy to get a sitter for those times and hours!!!
Honestly, having a baby was a struggle and i used to sigh when i saw children in those..
BUT, now that i have a little one, it would really be difficult not to bring her and have to get a sitter..that is a tough one..
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| Posted 1/28/09 1:22 PM |
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MrsRbk
<3 <3 <3 <3
Member since 1/06 19197 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: No Children in RE's Waiting Room
My husband and I have talked about this. He asked me what happens when we try for #2, and if I am blessed enough to get pregnant again, how would we handle having to go to early appointments for sonos and such.
I told him, an easy solution (while not ideal), is for me to go myself while he stays home with DD.
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| Posted 1/28/09 1:26 PM |
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LaurenExp
Waiting patiently for baby sis
Member since 8/06 11613 total posts
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L-Diddy EDD 11/11/11 :)
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Re: No Children in RE's Waiting Room
It doesn't bother me all that much unless I had some bad news. But honestly, no one can predict that...and people need to do what they need to do. If they have no one to watch their kid, then they're bringing it, I get it. But if they have someone at home, I don't see a need to put other people through the torture.
I had a question, sort of a spinoff to I guess those who had kids...I've seen women with an obviously close to newborn child there. What are they doing there? Check up or something?
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| Posted 1/28/09 1:55 PM |
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MrsRbk
<3 <3 <3 <3
Member since 1/06 19197 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: No Children in RE's Waiting Room
Posted by LaurenExp
I had a question, sort of a spinoff to I guess those who had kids...I've seen women with an obviously close to newborn child there. What are they doing there? Check up or something?
I've seen this on IVF connections actually. Specifically on a thread about the RE practice I use. Some women go back pretty quickly after having a baby to try again. There's a woman that just had twins in Oct/Nov and is getting ready to start a fresh IVF cycle. IMO, that seems much too soon, especially having twins, but who am I to judge!
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| Posted 1/28/09 1:58 PM |
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LIBOUND
Texting king
Member since 10/05 5289 total posts
Name:
Suzy
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Re: No Children in RE's Waiting Room
Posted by LaurenExp
It doesn't bother me all that much unless I had some bad news. But honestly, no one can predict that...and people need to do what they need to do. If they have no one to watch their kid, then they're bringing it, I get it. But if they have someone at home, I don't see a need to put other people through the torture.
I had a question, sort of a spinoff to I guess those who had kids...I've seen women with an obviously close to newborn child there. What are they doing there? Check up or something?
I've been going since my DS was six months old. I'm almost 40 and wanted to get started asap.
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| Posted 1/28/09 2:02 PM |
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LaurenExp
Waiting patiently for baby sis
Member since 8/06 11613 total posts
Name:
L-Diddy EDD 11/11/11 :)
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Re: No Children in RE's Waiting Room
Thank you both. I guess I kind of get it. This woman had a newborn and a toddler and she was chasing that kid around the room like he was on fire. I was thinking, damn, she wants to do it AGAIN?
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| Posted 1/28/09 2:09 PM |
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mcl916
my two loves
Member since 10/06 5133 total posts
Name:
Megan
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Re: No Children in RE's Waiting Room
Posted by LaurenExp
I had a question, sort of a spinoff to I guess those who had kids...I've seen women with an obviously close to newborn child there. What are they doing there? Check up or something?
DS is 4 months old and we plan on heading back in the spring for an FET. I've always wanted my kids close in age and we all know there are no guarantees so I want to get started asap. I used to think the same thing, like aren't these women grateful for the one they have? But now that I am that position I see things a lot differently.
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| Posted 1/28/09 3:27 PM |
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lulugrrl
My 3 Blessings
Member since 3/06 6551 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: No Children in RE's Waiting Room
It did not bother me when I was going, but I can see how it can Def. hurt. I guess it didn't bother me because I felt that mom was there for another miracle.
If and when I try for #2, I will have to bring my DS. He goes to day care, but I have to have my appt.s early in the am before work. It's a small office with rarely anyone there, but I would most def. try to be considerate if anyone in the waiting room.
Overall I think it's a nice/considerate rule, but maybe not practical for all parents.
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| Posted 1/28/09 3:43 PM |
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