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nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: NOT PARENTING: am i a bad mother??
Posted by watersdeb04
I agree with what everyone else is saying. The best place for a child to learn how to drink is in the home so that they can handle alcohol appropriately and responsibly when given the opportunity to have it.
Really? So we should let our teens and pre-teens drink beers, wine, and champagne at home to "learn to drink" before they may encounter alcohol at parties? I don't buy this philosophy, but that's just my opinion. Actually, it's not an opinion, it's fact--I've taken wayyyy too many education classes, and if you read any books like "Why Johnny Can't Tell Right from Wrong" it is these mixed messages that parents may send in the home that help contribute to underage drinking. The easiest thing for kids to understand is the black and white that parents do not accept underage drinking. Not "it's ok at weddings" and "it's ok on NYE." Not saying that all these kids will be alcoholics, but it is easier for kids to understand clear cut answers.
I personally probably wouldn't let my kids have even a sip, because I wouldn't want them to treat it that it isn't a big deal. A sip is saying "oh, have a sip--this isn't a huge deal...", "have a drink to celebrate..." I'd serve non-alcoholic sparkling cider which is what my parents did for us until we were old enough to drink. Either way I wouldn't want my kids to think I condone underage drinking. But I grew up in a very conservative household.
I don't mean to imply that one sip is going to turn someone into an alcoholic...But one sip is a trend I wouldn't continue.
Message edited 1/1/2008 8:28:24 PM.
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Posted 1/1/08 8:10 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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PegaLega
Lets Get This!!!!!
Member since 1/07 1110 total posts
Name:
Peggie
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Re: NOT PARENTING: am i a bad mother??
My dad used to do the same with us, you are not a bad mother
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| Posted 1/1/08 8:30 PM |
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diva7531
My Peanut
Member since 2/07 5199 total posts
Name:
Ryan 3 boys EDD 11/6!
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Re: NOT PARENTING: am i a bad mother??
Posted by racheeeee
I think you are a great mother to do that, I fully believe that exposure to alcohol when your children are growing up is a good thing. Look at the French...the kids all drink wine from a young age (not like full glasses...) but I think your having a healthy attitude towards booze will show your kids how to have a good attitude towards it.
ITA
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| Posted 1/1/08 9:16 PM |
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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
Name:
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Re: NOT PARENTING: am i a bad mother??
I don't think your a bad mom at all.
My DH is not American and my cousins are from France. They all grew up around alcohol, so when they got older- drinking was never an issue. It wasn't like something forbidden- so it wasn't attractive, you know.
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| Posted 1/1/08 9:50 PM |
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SPECIALNEEDSMOMMY
A Healing for Gregory
Member since 1/07 1217 total posts
Name:
Barbara
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Re: NOT PARENTING: am i a bad mother??
NO.
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| Posted 1/1/08 10:00 PM |
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MsSissy
xoxoxo
Member since 3/07 39159 total posts
Name:
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Re: NOT PARENTING: am i a bad mother??
Posted by nov04libride
Really? So we should let our teens and pre-teens drink beers, wine, and champagne at home to "learn to drink" before they may encounter alcohol at parties? I don't buy this philosophy, but that's just my opinion. Actually, it's not an opinion, it's fact--I've taken wayyyy too many education classes, and if you read any books like "Why Johnny Can't Tell Right from Wrong" it is these mixed messages that parents may send in the home that help contribute to underage drinking. The easiest thing for kids to understand is the black and white that parents do not accept underage drinking. Not "it's ok at weddings" and "it's ok on NYE." Not saying that all these kids will be alcoholics, but it is easier for kids to understand clear cut answers.
I personally probably wouldn't let my kids have even a sip, because I wouldn't want them to treat it that it isn't a big deal. A sip is saying "oh, have a sip--this isn't a huge deal...", "have a drink to celebrate..." I'd serve non-alcoholic sparkling cider which is what my parents did for us until we were old enough to drink. Either way I wouldn't want my kids to think I condone underage drinking. But I grew up in a very conservative household.
I don't mean to imply that one sip is going to turn someone into an alcoholic...But one sip is a trend I wouldn't continue.
I have to agree with this. Growing up we weren't given any alcholol. Not on holidays or weekly card games. And I never allowed my daughter to have a sip either. I remembered getting grief for this at a few NYE parties, but it was something I was not comfortable with.
As for the under age drinking law in your home in Suffolk county, this is what was passed last night: (from an artical in Newsday)
Suffolk County Executive Steve Levy has signed into law "social host" legislation that makes it a crime for adults to let other people's children drink in their homes.
Under the law, homeowners or renters 18 and older who knowingly allow underage drinking face up to a $250 fine for a first offense and up to a $1,000 fine and a year in jail for a third. Parents and guardians may allow their children to consume alcohol if they are present.
The penalties "are meant to send a message that hosts have to be vigilant in monitoring the potential for underage drinking," Levy wrote in a letter to Suffolk County legislators Thursday.
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| Posted 1/1/08 10:23 PM |
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miracline
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/07 575 total posts
Name:
kayanna
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Re: NOT PARENTING: am i a bad mother??
nope your are not a bad parent my son's is allowed a sip only at special occasions.....
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| Posted 1/1/08 10:43 PM |
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Nicole728
My Happy Girl
Member since 7/06 8198 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: NOT PARENTING: am i a bad mother??
nope...my parents would let us have a sip of champagne at NYE in the prescence only.
and as a kid, I thought it was gross...by no means did it teach me that is was OK to drink at a young age...my parents put the fear of God in me to not do anything like that before I was legal...and you know what I listened
Message edited 1/1/2008 10:49:28 PM.
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| Posted 1/1/08 10:46 PM |
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Re: NOT PARENTING: am i a bad mother??
 NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! When my brother and i were little we wanted to try alcohol so bad that my parents made us faktails and told us they were REAL cocktails I SWAER I was so proud that I was 7 and had drank a fuzzy navel
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| Posted 1/2/08 12:04 AM |
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hope2bamom
LIF Infant
Member since 11/07 213 total posts
Name:
Violet
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Re: NOT PARENTING: am i a bad mother??
First I want to start this with, NO I do not think you are a bad mother for letting your child taste champagne on New Years.
I do think, however when parents let their kids and and their kids friends drink in their home because, "I would rather it be under my roof then out in the streets" are lazy parents. How about teaching your children from right and wrong and that there are limits. It is a poor excuse for just being a lazy and in my opinion poor parent.
I also had to post an article about binge drinking in England this New Years since everyone has been sighting that in Europe young people drinking is not a big deal. This is true, but just because they are alowed to drink at a young age does not make them responsible. Case in point, read this article http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=505497&in_page_id=1770
Not to mention that France and England lead Europe with some of the highest alcoholism statistics. Just a general FYI, Europe is not the best place to base judgement on underage drinking.
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| Posted 1/3/08 2:14 AM |
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ddunne2
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 4189 total posts
Name:
Doreen
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Re: NOT PARENTING: am i a bad mother??
Posted by hope2bamom
First I want to start this with, NO I do not think you are a bad mother for letting your child taste champagne on New Years.
I do think, however when parents let their kids and and their kids friends drink in their home because, "I would rather it be under my roof then out in the streets" are lazy parents. How about teaching your children from right and wrong and that there are limits. It is a poor excuse for just being a lazy and in my opinion poor parent.
I agree with this. My DH's parents let him and his friends drink at their house in high school. I think that is a pathetic excuse for being a parent. It is the easy way out IMO. I was not allowed a sip of alchohol at home at all. I was taught right and wrong and I may be in the minority, but I never once had a drink in high school. It wasn't important to me and I understood the boundaries of right and wrong. I will do the same with my children. No sips of alcohol. Sure it can be harmless in and of itself, but I think it teaches a wrong lessen. That rules can be broken and "just one time wont matter.". JMHO
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| Posted 1/3/08 8:45 AM |
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Mrs
LIF Adult
Member since 6/05 1652 total posts
Name:
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Re: NOT PARENTING: am i a bad mother??
nope.. I remember tasting since I was 9 or so.
It made alcohol not a big deal for me, and I never felt like I 'had to have it' later on as many of my friends did. I grew up in Russia, and alcohol was not even an 'issue' to keep your kids from. It was the norm to let kids 'try'... never more than a sip. As my mom said, we don't have alcholics in our family and I won't be one (she firmly believed its genetic).
Also, it never made me curious about any of this and I never felt the need to experiment. Which is MORE than I can say for a lot of my friends whose parents were VERY strict about the issue.
The fact is, every kid is different. Some, when are forbidden something, listen. Others (like me and many others) will want to have that very thing that is forbidden. This was a great way for me to see that its not a big deal, not even an issue to obsess or worry about.
In fact, before going to college my mom gave me my first shot of Vodka. She wanted me to know what it taste like.. yuk..  and how I feel after, so that boys wouldn't be able to take advantage of me in college I'd have to say that it worked, because I didn't really drink vodka around people I didn't trust since!
Message edited 1/3/2008 8:59:53 AM.
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| Posted 1/3/08 8:52 AM |
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bicosi
life is a carousel
Member since 7/07 14956 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: NOT PARENTING: am i a bad mother??
Nope, you are not. 
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| Posted 1/3/08 8:53 AM |
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2kids2cats
My babies
Member since 6/05 5229 total posts
Name:
f
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Re: NOT PARENTING: am i a bad mother??
No . I am Greek and my DD drank wine at her baptism and then again at her name day. Part of the churches tradition. She liked it!
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| Posted 1/3/08 8:54 AM |
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Laura1
Fun in the Snow!
Member since 11/06 4512 total posts
Name:
Laura
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Re: NOT PARENTING: am i a bad mother??
Well, I do not feel that it makes you a bad mother. When my brother and I were younger, we were always allowed to have a taste on special occasions.
Neither of us were taught that it was ok to go out and drink all the time....neither of us became alcoholics.
It is a very controversial subject and everyone has their own opinion.....
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| Posted 1/3/08 8:57 AM |
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2BEANS
wow time is going fast.
Member since 9/07 16106 total posts
Name:
Tina
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Re: NOT PARENTING: am i a bad mother??
In italy parents give babies bottles of wine, so dont beat yourself up.
eta: baby bottles..
Message edited 1/3/2008 9:18:51 AM.
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| Posted 1/3/08 9:18 AM |
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cjik
Welcome 2010!
Member since 2/06 8879 total posts
Name:
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Re: NOT PARENTING: am i a bad mother??
Honestly, I think part of the reason teens go crazy with alcohol later on is when they have been restricted too much by their parents or haven't learned that it's possible to drink in moderation. The other reason is that, well, they are teens.
I was allowed small amounts of wine for very special occasions (less than a glass) and I didn't go nearly as crazy with drinking as some of my friends in high school and college.
I'm not saying let your kids get drunk, but small amounts here and there are going to do them no harm.
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| Posted 1/3/08 9:47 AM |
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mommy0604
My Son is my world...
Member since 10/07 3270 total posts
Name:
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Re: NOT PARENTING: am i a bad mother??
No not at all...
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| Posted 1/3/08 12:16 PM |
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gpsyeyes
She's my world!!!
Member since 8/06 1184 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: NOT PARENTING: am i a bad mother??
Posted by ddunne2
Posted by hope2bamom
First I want to start this with, NO I do not think you are a bad mother for letting your child taste champagne on New Years.
I do think, however when parents let their kids and and their kids friends drink in their home because, "I would rather it be under my roof then out in the streets" are lazy parents. How about teaching your children from right and wrong and that there are limits. It is a poor excuse for just being a lazy and in my opinion poor parent.
I agree with this. My DH's parents let him and his friends drink at their house in high school. I think that is a pathetic excuse for being a parent. It is the easy way out IMO. I was not allowed a sip of alchohol at home at all. I was taught right and wrong and I may be in the minority, but I never once had a drink in high school. It wasn't important to me and I understood the boundaries of right and wrong. I will do the same with my children. No sips of alcohol. Sure it can be harmless in and of itself, but I think it teaches a wrong lessen. That rules can be broken and "just one time wont matter.". JMHO
I agree with this, too and am raising my 2 step-daughters this way (they are 16 & 21 and so far, so good. My 7 month old will be raised with the same attitude.
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| Posted 1/3/08 12:47 PM |
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CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
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Re: NOT PARENTING: am i a bad mother??
Posted by BabySammie
In italy parents give babies bottles of wine, so dont beat yourself up.
eta: baby bottles..
You're kidding, right? This would certainly impact their development...
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| Posted 1/3/08 1:32 PM |
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