Not potty trained until over 3 years old….

A friend of mine’s DS turned 3 in October and she still has yet to start to potty train him. I can understand if your DC just isn’t getting the whole potty training thing and that’s the reason he/she isn’t potty trained yet, but to not even attempt to try doing it is just odd to me. She also wants to sign him up for pre-school starting in Jan. and I asked her what happens if he isn’t trained yet and she said that they will change up to 3 diapers a day…anything after that the parent gets called.

I don’t want to judge but to me that is just not right. And the sad part is that she is a good friend of mine.

How do you feel about this?

Re: Not potty trained until over 3 years old….

I feel absolutely fine about it as I am that mother, all kids are different and some kids don't get the toilet thing until they are older.

My son has no interest in the potty and whatever we do, he is just not interested. I am not worried, nor do I care what anyone else thinks about it. I don't know any 18 year still in diapers.

Re: Not potty trained until over 3 years old….

I think there are by far worse things to judge. Pottytraining is a very individual decision for the family and for the child, and I don't understand why in the world there is SO much pressure in this country about it. The fact is, none of these kids will be going to middle school in diapers, so who cares really when they make the transition and whether it's at 2, 3 or 4?

Re: Not potty trained until over 3 years old….

FYI the average age in the USA is 3.5 years old... That is what my brother told me before his stroke...

Potty training is an individual thing. Every kid is different.. When a child is ready they are ready...

I wouldn't judge her at all...

Re: Not potty trained until over 3 years old….

Honestly I find nothing unusual about it at all...

My twins were exactly 3 when they were potty trained. I had started a little bit before 2 and got no where. I was pressured into starting earlier...

When they are ready they are ready...I could have saved myself a lot of trouble had I just waited until they were closer to 3...

Re: Not potty trained until over 3 years old….

I don't plan on starting to until he is close to 3. I see no problems with it. What is the rush? I never saw a child in Kindergarten still in diapers. I am not worried and the last thing I want to do is to put pressure on him to do it. When he is ready, then I will proceed.

Message edited 12/15/2008 10:24:21 AM.

Re: Not potty trained until over 3 years old….

My neighbors son goes to school with John, he is 3.5 and has 0 interest in going on the potty. My neighbor doesnt want to push him so he is still in pull ups. Sometimes pressuring them has an adverse reaction. On another note a friend of my SIL has a son who is 6 and still not trained. I believe he goes to school in a pull up but holds it until he gets home,

Re: Not potty trained until over 3 years old….

now I can see judging when the child is 6...as in the post above,
but it IS realistic that many 3 year olds arent potty trained...it depends on the child.

Re: Not potty trained until over 3 years old….

Ryan turns 3 next month and I have not even attempted training him. He doesn't really get it yet, so why push? Maybe that is the case for her son too. Some children can master it early, some not. Trying too early can backfire, so why make our lives miserable?

Re: Not potty trained until over 3 years old….

I am shocked by the responses...but a good shocked!
I feel BIG time pressure that people think I should have dd potty trained already and she just turned 2.
I didnt know that you can wait until 3...I would have thought that to be late.
Honestly, as much pressure as I feel dd has ABSOLUTELY not interest. I put her on and she laughs for a sec and want to get down. I am going to repeat doing this but I seriously dont think she is ready. Though she does hold it in alot...and I hear this is signs..

Re: Not potty trained until over 3 years old….

DD is 3 in a few weeks and is just lazy about it...she knows how to go. During Christmas break I"m biting the bullet and not allowing her to wear diapers

Re: Not potty trained until over 3 years old….

My son will be three in February and you can't force them to go on the potty. My doctor said that I shouldn't even start with him until he's three years old.

I wish that he would potty train and he has gone a couple of times over the past year but he'll go when he's ready.

Why does it bother you so much? I'm just not sure why this is such and issue for you if it's not an issue to her. As a mother, I believe every child is different and a mother knows her child.

Also, boys (usually) take longer to potty train than girls. I'm sure that by the time he's 4 he will be trained.

Re: Not potty trained until over 3 years old….

MY DS is going to be 3 in Feb, he ABSOLUTELY has no interest at ALL. I Have tried, tried for a year so far, but I have gotten no where fast. I will try again in between the holidays because I am home form work, but I agree, there is there is this pressure and its not fair...parents shouldn't be forced to think there is something wrong with their child b/c they're not potty trained.

Re: Not potty trained until over 3 years old….

LOL...I just read your post again...
They will only change 3 diapers at daycare... That is funny...
To me either change them or dont...
dont set a limit on how many times they can pee/poop.
Sounds more like a punishment.... "OK...you peed again...mommies getting called..."

Re: Not potty trained until over 3 years old….

Personally, I would try to get my child on the potty before 3. I just can't imagine changing diapers for that long!

I researched this and decided to go the early potty-training route with DS and it has worked beautifully. He's a little over 2 years old and is only in pull-ups at night -- he's in cotton underwear during the day. All children are different and it's important to be sensitive to your child's individual needs, but I don't see a reason to wait that long either.

ETA: It's funny because I often get the opposite type of judgement with my son -- "he's only 2 how can you put him on the potty???" -- umm, because he goes pee pee and poop poo on it and I would rather him do it in the toilet than in his pants. On that note, I do agree with the other posters about not judging the other parents -- do what works for your kid. But, don't be afraid to introduce the potty earlier if your child responds well to it.

Message edited 12/15/2008 12:04:31 PM.

Re: Not potty trained until over 3 years old….

Message edited 12/15/2008 12:02:20 PM.

Re: Not potty trained until over 3 years old….

Posted by Dragonfly75

Personally, I would try to get my child on the potty before 3. I just can't imagine changing diapers for that long!


ITA! I'm lucky that Julia never had problems with potty training and did it on her own at 2 1/2, she was also starting school in Sept and she HAD to be potty trained to go, so it worked out, I hope Todd Jr hopefully we be trained around that age also. Most schools want your child to be trained before they start anyway, so it good for them to know sooner then later.

Re: Not potty trained until over 3 years old….

I really don't get why you'd even care enough about it to post this.

Congratulations to you if your child was ready way before the age of three. My first DS was a few months shy of three and trained day and night in three days (I think because I waited and he was ready). I tried similar timing with DS2 and it has been a nightmare. Every kid is different and every mother has their reasons for doing things the way they do.

Re: Not potty trained until over 3 years old….

Im really surprised- most preschools wont even accept an unpotty trained child.Gymnastics wouldnt even accept them untrained...

IMO- At 2yrs old they are so much more receptive to training, waiting until 3 becomes more challenging.

But to each their own!

Re: Not potty trained until over 3 years old….

I think that the sooner the better. I am definately tired of changing poopy diapers for two kids.

My concern is that parents lay judgements on children and make other mothers feel like something is wrong with their parenting or children.

Re: Not potty trained until over 3 years old….

Re: Not potty trained until over 3 years old….

Re: Not potty trained until over 3 years old….

I feel like YUCK I would not want to be changing a 3 year olds diaper!

ETA I will push DS to potty train very early

Message edited 12/15/2008 3:43:56 PM.

Re: Not potty trained until over 3 years old….

Its funny how so many people take their kid off the bottle at 1 year old, but don’t potty train until 3. It doesn’t make sense to me. I’d rather see a kid at age 3 drinking a bottle then smell like poop.




no flames here, I totally agree with this statement

Re: Not potty trained until over 3 years old….