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Re: Not potty trained until over 3 years old….
Posted by laurabora
Posted by missrock
Posted by laurabora
I really don't get why you'd even care enough about it to post this.
Congratulations to you if your child was ready way before the age of three. My first DS was a few months shy of three and trained day and night in three days (I think because I waited and he was ready). I tried similar timing with DS2 and it has been a nightmare. Every kid is different and every mother has their reasons for doing things the way they do.
No need to get nasty. Seems like some people are a little defensive about this topic. What I was trying to say is that I think its odd that moms don’t even attempt to TRY potty training until 3. IMO, this process should be started earlier than 3. Im not saying at age 2 they should be trained but maybe introduce it and if it doesn’t work and the kid is not ready then so be it – but at least you tried. Then you give it a couple of months and try again. If you saw my OP then you would see what I mean.
Its funny how so many people take their kid off the bottle at 1 year old, but don’t potty train until 3. It doesn’t make sense to me. I’d rather see a kid at age 3 drinking a bottle then smell like poop.
Oh, and my DD is not even 2 yet and yes, I have the potty ready to go and I have had her sit on it already just to get used to it. I plan on trying a couple of months after her 2nd b’day. This is just MY OPINION….everyone has one. Im not judging the kid…I am kind of judging the mom who hasn’t even tried to potty train. Im sorry if any of you are taking offense to that.
Go ahead flame away…I am ready.
I guess I just don't see any need for the judging at all. And I'm not saying that to be nasty. I don't care if someone potty trains their kid from birth, or lets them use a bottle until they're five. I know what I want to do with my kids, and that's all I care about.
I agree. I don't see anyone saying anything nasty. I see no reason why you would make a judgement on this. Maybe your friend, like me, knows their child, and knows that they are not ready. It seems petty and juvenile to make a judgement on what any mom does with her child, let alone about potty training at 3.
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Posted 12/15/08 3:50 PM  |
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yankinmanc
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Re: Not potty trained until over 3 years old….
I don't understand why people care so much about the choices that other people make with their children. I don't care if your child wants to have a bottle when they are 22 or if they want to sleep with their mother until they are 30. Right or wrong, its none of my business.
If you want to potty train your child at birth, more power to ya! Go ahead, but remember that real people post here, with real lives and real feelings. Think about that before criticising them for the choices they make with their children.
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| Posted 12/15/08 3:51 PM |
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Re: Not potty trained until over 3 years old….
I know of one specific, bright, gorgeous, charming, amazing, intelligent, wonderful woman who wasn't potty trained until she was 4.
Besides spending waaaaaayyyyy too much time on the internet, I have to say she turned out ok.  
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| Posted 12/15/08 3:52 PM |
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PrincessP
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Re: Not potty trained until over 3 years old….
Posted by lipglossjunky73
I know of one specific, bright, gorgeous, charming, amazing, intelligent, wonderful woman who wasn't potty trained until she was 4.
Besides spending waaaaaayyyyy too much time on the internet, I have to say she turned out ok.
Hmmmmmmm 
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| Posted 12/15/08 3:55 PM |
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Bxgell2
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Beth
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Re: Not potty trained until over 3 years old….
Posted by missrock
Oh, and my DD is not even 2 yet and yes, I have the potty ready to go and I have had her sit on it already just to get used to it. I plan on trying a couple of months after her 2nd b’day. This is just MY OPINION….everyone has one. Im not judging the kid…I am kind of judging the mom who hasn’t even tried to potty train.
Ok, fine, this is what YOU do, which is fine and dandy, but in my opinion, it's not so fine and dandy to make a leap from that, to asserting that you think ALL moms should handle potty training the way you handle it.
If there is anything I've learned from parenthood it's that no one method applies to every child. Each mother adapts to her own particular style, needs, her child and her family.
I think it truly is silly to take issue with this, and to judge your friend. Of all things in the world to judge a mother about, this is really just so insignificant. As long as mom, dad and child are happy, healthy and loved, why even care?
By the way, my daughter was pottytrained at 2.5 years old, but that's because she started to show an interest in it. And I would never, in a million years, presume that my way of handling pottytraining, or my daughter's interest in it, should apply to every mother and every child.
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| Posted 12/15/08 4:00 PM |
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MaMaTeenie
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Re: Not potty trained until over 3 years old….
I think it is normal for you to be wondering why your friend chooses not to potty train, it is outside of what you choose to do so you posting this question is a perfectly reasonable way to hear from others like your friend why she may have choosen not to. This may help you to understand you friends views better and therefore avoid being judgemental. We can accept things better when we understand them.
I am really glad you posted this actually b/c it is nice to see other kids are not potty trained. DS will be 2 1/2 the end of January, I have tried on and off since about 22 mos old and he just isn't into it. I will wait until he is ready, but I, unlike your friend will keep trying periodically.
I also let DS have a bottle until he was 2 because otherwise he drank no milk what so ever.....I saw no problem with it and I don't see a problem with a 3 yr old not being potty trained, but why not tr, like you said.
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| Posted 12/15/08 4:11 PM |
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PrincessP
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Re: Not potty trained until over 3 years old….
Posted by Bxgell2
Posted by missrock
Oh, and my DD is not even 2 yet and yes, I have the potty ready to go and I have had her sit on it already just to get used to it. I plan on trying a couple of months after her 2nd b’day. This is just MY OPINION….everyone has one. Im not judging the kid…I am kind of judging the mom who hasn’t even tried to potty train.
Ok, fine, this is what YOU do, which is fine and dandy, but in my opinion, it's not so fine and dandy to make a leap from that, to asserting that you think ALL moms should handle potty training the way you handle it.
If there is anything I've learned from parenthood it's that no one method applies to every child. Each mother adapts to her own particular style, needs, her child and her family.
I think it truly is silly to take issue with this, and to judge your friend. Of all things in the world to judge a mother about, this is really just so insignificant. As long as mom, dad and child are happy, healthy and loved, why even care?
By the way, my daughter was pottytrained at 2.5 years old, but that's because she started to show an interest in it. And I would never, in a million years, presume that my way of handling pottytraining, or my daughter's interest in it, should apply to every mother and every child.
That really isnt fair...
You pulled one paragraph out and left the rest of her explaination out. That one paragraph makes her sound alot worse then what she was ultimately saying...
JMHO...I dont see anything wrong with this post. Ultimately she is asking why not give it a try....
Message edited 12/15/2008 4:13:47 PM.
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| Posted 12/15/08 4:12 PM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
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Beth
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Re: Not potty trained until over 3 years old….
Posted by PrincessP
That really isnt fair...
You pulled one paragraph out and left the rest of her explaination out. That one paragraph makes her sound alot worse then what she was ultimately saying...
JMHO...I dont see anything wrong with this post. Ultimately she is asking why not give it a try....
This is from the original post:
Posted by missrock
I don’t want to judge but to me that is just not right. And the sad part is that she is a good friend of mine.
To me, it comes across as judgmental, and obviously I'm not the only one. It wasn't posed as, why wouldn't this mom not try to pottytrain, but rather as, it's sad that my good friend isn't even trying to pottytrain, which, as you can see from the responses, many disagree with.
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| Posted 12/15/08 4:16 PM |
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MaMaTeenie
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Mommy
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Re: Not potty trained until over 3 years old….
She said she found it odd.....I don't think that is so bad.
i thought she meant its sad that she does not agree with her good friends style of parenting....again, I don't think there is anything wrong with that.
I think by her posting she was actually trying to educate herself as to why her friend may think this way so she can understand and therefore be less judgemental without having to ask the friend who may get defensive about it.
I could be totally wrong, but thats how I took it.
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| Posted 12/15/08 4:21 PM |
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MelToddJulia
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Re: Not potty trained until over 3 years old….
Posted by RyansMama
She said she found it odd.....I don't think that is so bad.
i thought she meant its sad that she does not agree with her good friends style of parenting....again, I don't think there is anything wrong with that.
I think by her posting she was actually trying to educate herself as to why her friend may think this way so she can understand and therefore be less judgemental without having to ask the friend who may get defensive about it.
I could be totally wrong, but thats how I took it.
ITA, thats how I see it too!
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| Posted 12/15/08 4:27 PM |
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PrincessP
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Re: Not potty trained until over 3 years old….
Posted by MelToddJulia
Posted by RyansMama
She said she found it odd.....I don't think that is so bad.
i thought she meant its sad that she does not agree with her good friends style of parenting....again, I don't think there is anything wrong with that.
I think by her posting she was actually trying to educate herself as to why her friend may think this way so she can understand and therefore be less judgemental without having to ask the friend who may get defensive about it.
I could be totally wrong, but thats how I took it.
ITA, thats how I see it too!
Thats what I gathered as well....
Message edited 12/15/2008 6:49:00 PM.
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| Posted 12/15/08 6:48 PM |
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4monkeys
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Re: Not potty trained until over 3 years old….
Posted by PrincessP
Posted by MelToddJulia
Posted by RyansMama
She said she found it odd.....I don't think that is so bad.
i thought she meant its sad that she does not agree with her good friends style of parenting....again, I don't think there is anything wrong with that.
I think by her posting she was actually trying to educate herself as to why her friend may think this way so she can understand and therefore be less judgemental without having to ask the friend who may get defensive about it.
I could be totally wrong, but thats how I took it.
ITA, thats how I see it too!
Thats what I gathered as well....
me too.
and I think the OP might see for herself that it's not as simple as it seems
as we all know, SO many things mommy-related are WAY easier said than done before we walk in those shoes.
My boys potty trained at 3, and a little over 3. I never once pushed the issue. It was a seamless transition for both of them. It didnt phase me to change diapers, as opposed to starting to be icked out once they start using public bathrooms  (that's when you wish they were still in diapers )
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| Posted 12/15/08 7:08 PM |
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Goldi0218
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Leslie
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Re: Not potty trained until over 3 years old….
<---was not potty trained until she was after 3 and is rather well adjusted.
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| Posted 12/15/08 7:13 PM |
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KateDevine
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Re: Not potty trained until over 3 years old….
Posted by 3monkeys
as we all know, SO many things mommy-related are WAY easier said than done before we walk in those shoes.
I think this is where people are getting upset with the OP. The fact of the matter is that she (like myself) haven't started potty training, so to pass judgment on something that you haven't done yet is, well, not right.
I was potty trained by the age my DS is now (20 months) b/c my mom was pregnant and didn't want to change 2 kids diapers. But me, and DS, we aren't ready yet. And I think this is a personal choice and therefore, like breastfeeding, bottle feeding, etc, cannot be judged by an outsider
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| Posted 12/15/08 7:19 PM |
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Diana1215
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Diana
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Re: Not potty trained until over 3 years old….
Each child is completely different. One may train at 18 months - another at 3 1/2. Until we are in that mothers shoes - who are we to judge?
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| Posted 12/15/08 7:22 PM |
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missrock
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Re: Not potty trained until over 3 years old….
I am trying not to judge, i just dont understand how you CANNOT try to potty train your kid before age 3.
No, I do not know what its like but how do you know if your DC is ready or not if you dont at least try.
Like i said I have tried putting DD on a potty and she doesnt know what to do yet so I will wait a little longer and try a couple of months from now.
I have never had so many responses to a post before, cant believe so many people do not understand what I am trying to get at.
Message edited 12/15/2008 7:43:59 PM.
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| Posted 12/15/08 7:43 PM |
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mommy2bella
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Re: Not potty trained until over 3 years old….
At 3 years and 3 months, Bella has FINALLY stopped crapping her pants and I quote "Because I like to"
We tried everything...bribery, rewards, rational talks, sticker charts...she basically did it when she wanted to...basically like most everything in the past 3+ years.
I was so pressured until my ped told me last year, do NOT worry until she is 4...of course, if there are schools and activities that require potty training, that's different...
FYI though, my child NEVER smells like poop, regardless of where she winds up going.
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| Posted 12/15/08 7:43 PM |
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missrock
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Jennifer
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Re: Not potty trained until over 3 years old….
Posted by mommy2bella
At 3 years and 3 months, Bella has FINALLY stopped crapping her pants and I quote "Because I like to"
We tried everything...bribery, rewards, rational talks, sticker charts...she basically did it when she wanted to...basically like most everything in the past 3+ years.
I was so pressured until my ped told me last year, do NOT worry until she is 4...of course, if there are schools and activities that require potty training, that's different...
FYI though, my child NEVER smells like poop, regardless of where she winds up going.
I understand this....it not like you havent tried. If your kid isnt ready, then she isnt ready. I understand that... but his mom hasnt even tried..she just says hes not ready. IMO, thats weird.
ETA: How you know if a kid is ready if you dont try.
Message edited 12/15/2008 7:47:23 PM.
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| Posted 12/15/08 7:45 PM |
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missrock
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Jennifer
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Re: Not potty trained until over 3 years old….
Message edited 12/15/2008 7:46:26 PM.
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| Posted 12/15/08 7:46 PM |
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aliwnec10
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Ali
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Re: Not potty trained until over 3 years old….
Posted by krissy888
I feel like YUCK I would not want to be changing a 3 year olds diaper!
ETA I will push DS to potty train very early
I agree.
I am so shocked by these responses. My niece is going to be 3 in a few months and is not potty trained. I am completely shocked that my brother and SIL aren't pushing for it. Why? Because who would want to change dirty diapers that long? NOT ME! I can tell you that right now.
There's no judgement there. Just that i can't imagine doing that for that long or expecting my in laws to change ds's diapers that long! They don't even like to change the poopy diapers as it is now.
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| Posted 12/15/08 7:49 PM |
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mommy2bella
Where does time go?
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Kelly
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Re: Not potty trained until over 3 years old….
Posted by aliwnec10
Posted by krissy888
I feel like YUCK I would not want to be changing a 3 year olds diaper!
ETA I will push DS to potty train very early
I agree.
I am so shocked by these responses. My niece is going to be 3 in a few months and is not potty trained. I am completely shocked that my brother and SIL aren't pushing for it. Why? Because who would want to change dirty diapers that long? NOT ME! I can tell you that right now.
There's no judgement there. Just that i can't imagine doing that for that long or expecting my in laws to change ds's diapers that long! They don't even like to change the poopy diapers as it is now.
honestly...these comments are crazy...do I LIKE changing diapers/pull-ups/underwear when she poops or pees her pants??? No. But, seriously, some kids just take longer.
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| Posted 12/15/08 7:52 PM |
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KateDevine
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Re: Not potty trained until over 3 years old….
Posted by mommy2bella
Posted by aliwnec10
Posted by krissy888
I feel like YUCK I would not want to be changing a 3 year olds diaper!
ETA I will push DS to potty train very early
I agree.
I am so shocked by these responses. My niece is going to be 3 in a few months and is not potty trained. I am completely shocked that my brother and SIL aren't pushing for it. Why? Because who would want to change dirty diapers that long? NOT ME! I can tell you that right now.
There's no judgement there. Just that i can't imagine doing that for that long or expecting my in laws to change ds's diapers that long! They don't even like to change the poopy diapers as it is now.
honestly...these comments are crazy...do I LIKE changing diapers/pull-ups/underwear when she poops or pees her pants??? No. But, seriously, some kids just take longer.
ITA. I mean, this is not something that has to do with what Mommy and Daddy "like" but when a child is ready.
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| Posted 12/15/08 7:54 PM |
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Re: Not potty trained until over 3 years old….
Posted by missrock
I have never had so many responses to a post before, cant believe so many people do not understand what I am trying to get at.
i understand what you were getting at, sometimes around here one really has to phrase things a certain way for people not to take things personally and it get out of hand. sometimes even when people try to be "pc" things get misconstrued...don't worry...
i guess the question is "when to start" potty training. i have read that studies show it's easiest to train between 18-30 months, afterward it becomes more challenging. i wanted to have DD potty trained for nursery school (she starts in january) and began the process late summer. she wanted no part of it, but i continued to revisit it here and there until one day she was ready and told me she wanted to wear underwear. DD is 2.5 years old and "trained" in pull-ups with the exception of naps and overnight. i would move to underwear, but with a new baby and nursery school starting i don't want to overwhelm her. but i think she'll get there in the coming weeks...
to answer your question, i would shoot (and did shoot) to start before 3 and take it from there. we all have opinions on how to do things...sometimes they work out, sometimes they don't...
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| Posted 12/15/08 7:58 PM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
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Diana
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Re: Not potty trained until over 3 years old….
Does anyone like changing diapers at ANY age???
My cousin had three boys under two.
She did not potty the older two until they were 3 1/2 -- she simply was not ready and had other things going on in her life.
It was actually much easier for her to have her kids in diapers because she didn't want to have to worry about what she would do when they were out - and she had three boys all needing to go to the bathroom at different times.
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| Posted 12/15/08 8:00 PM |
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stickydust
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Re: Not potty trained until over 3 years old….
Honestly, I am not going to start potty training until my DD show signs that she is ready - I know there are several signs to look for. I know my DD and she is VERY strong-willed and if I try and push something she will push back so I will take my cues from her.
I guess I do not understand why anyone would care when anyone potty trains their child - unless you have to be the one changing their diapers.
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| Posted 12/15/08 8:01 PM |
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