Re: Not ready for family members to hold/touch baby

i don't like it either-- she's MINE!!

Re: Not ready for family members to hold/touch baby

Re: Not ready for family members to hold/touch baby

I felt this way when DD was born. I was ok with immediate family-b/c they knew how I felt and always washed their hands.

I had to take DD to my Grandma's funeral when she was 2 months old. My Aunt who I do not see that often was holding DD. Well, I walk into the room and my Uncle has HIS FINGER in her mouth! I almost screamed. He could tell by the look on my face that I was about to freak out and he says to me "I just washed my hands" AAAhhhhh! It was my nightmare come true. But DD did survive. Good luck and I hope you can enjoy the day!

Re: Not ready for family members to hold/touch baby

Ds was a winter baby. He was born the beginning of January (last year). i did not like letting people hold him in the beginning. i was so worried he would get sick. I actually liked that he wanted to nurse every 1.5 hours and it took him an hour to eat. Because I was the only one who could do that. We waited until May to have his baby blessing because I didn't want him around all the sick people. Before that only immediate family was allowed over and I made sure they washed their hands before coming near him. Any sign of a sniffle they were banished from the house Am I over protective, yeah but my kid didn't get sick until he was a year old so i think it was worth it. And no he wasn't in a bubble. We went out to stores and relatives houses but I did not out him in high risk situations.
You have to do what you are comfortable with. It is your child. If others don't like it screw em

Re: Not ready for family members to hold/touch baby

Re: Not ready for family members to hold/touch baby

I believe that there will come a time that you do have to get past this. However, that happens at a different time for each of us. I did not want random people to hold DS until we were clear out of his first RSV season. I hired a baby nurse to be with us for his bris. We had a big party but she took care of baby and kept him well isolated. It was in our house and she stayed in his room with him. As it turned out, there were lots of people that I wanted to show the baby to, but they only got to come into his room for a few minutes each. I got to enjoy the party!

Re: Not ready for family members to hold/touch baby

Posted by cpanyc

I felt this way when DD was born. I was ok with immediate family-b/c they knew how I felt and always washed their hands.

I had to take DD to my Grandma's funeral when she was 2 months old. My Aunt who I do not see that often was holding DD. Well, I walk into the room and my Uncle has HIS FINGER in her mouth! I almost screamed. He could tell by the look on my face that I was about to freak out and he says to me "I just washed my hands" AAAhhhhh! It was my nightmare come true. But DD did survive. Good luck and I hope you can enjoy the day!

Message edited 3/3/2009 3:17:31 PM.

Re: Not ready for family members to hold/touch baby

Message edited 3/3/2009 3:25:59 PM.

Re: Not ready for family members to hold/touch baby

Posted by Goobster

Posted by cpanyc

I felt this way when DD was born. I was ok with immediate family-b/c they knew how I felt and always washed their hands.

I had to take DD to my Grandma's funeral when she was 2 months old. My Aunt who I do not see that often was holding DD. Well, I walk into the room and my Uncle has HIS FINGER in her mouth! I almost screamed. He could tell by the look on my face that I was about to freak out and he says to me "I just washed my hands" AAAhhhhh! It was my nightmare come true. But DD did survive. Good luck and I hope you can enjoy the day!

OMG, Iwould have flipped out if were you. That is NO ONE's place, other than a parent, to put their (dirty) finger in a baby's mouth. It's things like this that make me say she is not to be passed around. Just not ready for that. I know your DD survived of course...and my DD would too...but it's just not something I can stomach at this point.

What your uncle did makes me cringe and shudder....

Re: Not ready for family members to hold/touch baby

How old is DC?

When DS was 2 months old we went upstate and all these young girls (friends of my IL's) were holding him and pining over him...and they wanted to TAKE him on a walk around the lake

DH flipped on me since I said NO!!

Its a mom thing---everyone is different

Now at 21 months I want them to watch my son

Re: Not ready for family members to hold/touch baby

IMO I would imagine that you would be inviting close friends and family to the Christening, people you would WANT to hold your baby.

I get the ladies who are germaphobes I really do, and I understand not wanting strangers touching your baby, but to turn away family and friends who are there to celebrate with you, DH, and your DD seems a little much I think.

If you choose not to let anyone hold her then you will def. get many looks. I can tell you that I did tell someone no once in the time Jack has been alive. We were also at a Christening, she was a much older lady who had been drinking. I was nervous she would drop him and to this day I still won't forget her looks when I made up some excuse for her not to hold him. I feel stupid to this day for telling her no but I did it in the best interest of my son.

Unfortunately, we cannot keep them in a bubble their entire lives, and if we can't trust our own friends and family who can we really trust?

Message edited 3/3/2009 3:49:39 PM.

Re: Not ready for family members to hold/touch baby

I see it from both sides but you have to decide what is right for you both. Like others said, it can become a big turn off to others and may isolate you for good. People dont forget what "little" things we think are most important to us. I personally didnt want to struggle with that resentment. I took it for what it was worth. DD was not a sick baby so I didnt see a reason to isolate her. Also, keep in mind if you make life just you, dd, and dh for months you might find it quite depressing. While I totally understand the people that have no regard, hacking, and sneezing on your baby just isnt right. I would weigh out your situation and give a little and pull back a little. There has to be a happy median. If you decide that dd shouldnt be held by others, then Id be less likely to take her to places she may have to be held or touched.

Re: Not ready for family members to hold/touch baby

Can I ask one question?

If you are so uncomfortable with your DC being held and around a big group of people, why are you having a big christening? Why not keep is small and intimate as to avoid this whole situation with immediate family and godparents?

Message edited 3/3/2009 3:57:10 PM.

Re: Not ready for family members to hold/touch baby

Re: Not ready for family members to hold/touch baby

Re: Not ready for family members to hold/touch baby

Message edited 3/3/2009 4:00:14 PM.

Re: Not ready for family members to hold/touch baby

Re: Not ready for family members to hold/touch baby

Re: Not ready for family members to hold/touch baby

Posted by Goobster

Posted by Diana1215

Posted by shamrock124

Can I ask one question?

If you are so uncomfortable with your DC being held and around a big group of people, why are you having a big christening? Why not keep is small and intimate as to avoid this whole situation with immediate family and godparents?

ITA and was thinking the same exact thing! If I was a person that didn't want my child to be held by random people....I wouldn't have random people at my childs Christening. We only had immediate family at Jack's Christening - granted that was 75 people, but they were all people that I trusted completely and Jack was always in my sight at all times. I was also busy socializing and organizing that the break was nice too!

Alot less people than you had as I said above, pretty much only close family however...blood alone doesn't make someone a person of choice in my book, to make choices for my DD (such as holding her, passing her around, putting fingers in her mouth such as above, etc).

Even still, I don't think having people at a party means your child has to be passed around, at all. The size of the party (which isn't large, just larger than the random visitors I have had in my home) has nothing to do with it.

Re: Not ready for family members to hold/touch baby

Posted by pickles16

Posted by Janice

you don't have to relax, you can live anyway you would like.

people are out of their minds at times. fingers in baby's mouths....kissing baby's hands...

no one but you is going to be up in middle of the night hearing baby cry, taking temp, sucking boogies out of nose.

4 months ago baby was inside you! of course you are protective. you don't want anything to go wrong. people put so many expectations on new moms. totally responsible for baby, you make an educated decision, then have to defend your decision.

ITA!!!!!

If I'm that mom that is the one thats labeled overprotective, there are a lot worse things that someone could call me...I'll take being known as the overprotective mom and so should you... No need to care at all, and do what YOU need to do!!!!

Re: Not ready for family members to hold/touch baby

Message edited 3/3/2009 4:17:17 PM.

Re: Not ready for family members to hold/touch baby

My cousin's wife was the same as you -
She was simply NOT comfortable with everyone and anyone holding the baby - And they had a big Christening .........

What she did was have the baby passed from her, to my cousin, to the Godparents, to the Grandparents .........
Anyone outside of her approved list who asked to hold the baby was given the pout and the 'I JUST got her" comment from who ever was holding her at the time - .........
No one is going to snatch a baby away from Grandma with a face on .....

Keeping her in the stroller, unfortunately won't work - People are bold and have NO problem taking a baby (and I've seen people do this to SLEEPING babies) out of their stroller w/o asking permission ...........

Re: Not ready for family members to hold/touch baby

You're the only one who knows the type of people who will be at your party and you have your reasons for not wanting people to hold your DD. If you're worried about people wanting to hold her, you and DH either have to be the only ones holding her that day or perhaps you can give her to someone you trust and who will respect your wishes.

I personally have no problem with my family holding DS. DS wants to be held 24/7 and he sleeps in my arms at night. I like when my family visits so I can get a bit of a break. I admit that I sometimes want him back shortly after they start holding him. I also don't mind most of DH's family members holding him although there have been a few recent events that have bothered me. One of the things that still drives me nuts is that FIL's wife put her finger in DS's mouth so he could suck on it. She apparently doesn't like pacifiers and decided it was appropriate to use her finger instead. I don't consider myself a germaphobe, but it really annoys me when people want to put their hands in babies' mouths, kiss their mouths, etc.

Re: Not ready for family members to hold/touch baby

at ds christening i hovered alot... and my dh had instructions to do the same for when i had to pump... i lucked out in that my ds was a BIG eater and was drinking 60 oz at the time.. so i basically spent the entire party giving him bottles...

Re: Not ready for family members to hold/touch baby

I bit my tongue. Now it is forked.