Re: Not ready for family members to hold/touch baby

Re: Not ready for family members to hold/touch baby

For me honestly it wasnt even a concern. I wanted DS to be as social as possible. I love that he goes to people with ease. he looks for me for reassurance but he has relatively low stranger anxiety and for me that was important.

But if you are honestly feeling this way and think it might be an issue to have to say NO all day(which I personally wouldnt be able to do to all the people who came and celebrate and gave my DS such nice gifts - but again I was pretty laid back) I think the best thing for you might just be to postpone the party a bit...until DD is older and you feel more comfortable with other people holding her.

Re: Not ready for family members to hold/touch baby

I think you should do what ever makes you feel comfortable. My DD just turned 4 months and we had her christening over the weekend. My DH and I held her the majority of the time though my mom, MIL, FIL, godparents, one of my aunts, and my friend did hold her for a little. I mean I did not pass her around the party to everyone. There were over 50 adults at the party and I was not about to pas her around. I held her most of the time or I put her in her carriage to sleep.

I am freaked out by germs so I know how you feel. Actually my DD was the only baby being baptized during a private ceremony so the Deacon had each person at the church come up and do the cross on her forehead. I did not expect this to happen and I must say it freaked me out a bit. All I thought about as each person did the cross on her head was about GERMS. LOL LOL LOL

So I think you should not worry about what anyone thinks and do what ever you want at the christening.

Re: Not ready for family members to hold/touch baby

I am the same way when it comes to large crowds so I completely understand, we have our sons christening in 2 weeks too. DS has been making it clear lately that he doesn't want to be held by anyone else but mommy and daddy so we won't be passing him around.

Re: Not ready for family members to hold/touch baby

People held Cailen immediately. He was passed from visitor to visitor in the hospital (in fact, one of the pics on his announcement - you see hands holding his tiny head as he looks to the side - they are my friend's hands!!!)

Everyone who visited held him. In fact, we were traveling so much right from the start to visit family and friends, and even went camping when he was 3 mts old. Cailen always spent time in other's arms.

ETA - In large crowds, which we weren't in untl he was 3 mts old, I wouldn't mind if people came to ME and I handed the baby over and they handed back to me. Just for safety, I wouldn't want people passing the baby around - especially if there is drinking going on....

Message edited 3/4/2009 6:47:25 AM.

Re: Not ready for family members to hold/touch baby

I'm sorry, but she's 4 mos old. She's not a couple of weeks old where I could understand this. Trust me, having her held by loads of people will make her more social. DS has been held by everyone since he was born. I think in the long run, its better for the baby. On this one, I would get over it.

Also, side note, I would be shocked if I were a guest at somebody's christening and wasn't allowed to hold the baby. I think that's rude

Message edited 3/4/2009 6:51:42 AM.

Re: Not ready for family members to hold/touch baby

Re: Not ready for family members to hold/touch baby

Posted by mia818

Posted by kerrycec03

I'm sorry, but she's 4 mos old. She's not a couple of weeks old where I could understand this. Trust me, having her held by loads of people will make her more social. DS has been held by everyone since he was born. I think in the long run, its better for the baby. On this one, I would get over it.

Also, side note, I would be shocked if I were a guest at somebody's christening and wasn't allowed to hold the baby. I think that's rude

This is my opinion, but I have gone to many parites and never expect to hold anyone's baby. If the parent gives me the baby its one thing, but to expect to hold the baby and get mad if you don't I think is rude. I do not step on parents toes just like I do not want people to step on mine. A guest at a party is there to help celebrate with the parents....I do not find it as an option invitation for everyone to hold baby.
And I also do not think it makes a baby more social. My ds as well as a few of my friends babies were absolutley afraid of large crowds and would cry. My son only wanted me or my dh. Now, at 5 he is the most outgoing kid there is.

And once again, there is nothing for you Goobster to get over. You have other reasons you did not want to get into on here and that is your business. But how you feel is ok and don't think otherwise

Message edited 3/4/2009 8:13:27 AM.

Re: Not ready for family members to hold/touch baby

This is a party to celebrate your child and if someone wants to hold them you are going to say no. If my sister or brother told me I couldn't hold their kids (Unless I was sick) I would be very mad. I always let people hold my child, especially by the third.

Re: Not ready for family members to hold/touch baby

DS was christened at almost 5 months and DD was christened at 3.5 months and both times she wasn't passed around (by chance). The only people that held them really were a my mom, MIL, godparents and my SIL's mother. Nobody had an interest to hold them. I also had them at restaurants but still, I think when adults get together they are going to socialize more than anything. Try not to dwell on it because it is going to ruin your special day for family and it isn't worth it. Just see what happens and play it by ear. Things will work out.

Re: Not ready for family members to hold/touch baby

I am shocked that people would be mad or think its ride to not be allowed to hold the baby At a christening!!! In a million years it wouldn't dawn on me to ask to hold someone else's child At their party! What's the big deal??? You go there to celebrate and ooh and ah At the cute baby. Not get pissy! The parents spent good money for you to celebrate! IMO, anyone who gets mad At that should get over it!!

Re: Not ready for family members to hold/touch baby

Maybe people just didn't have a desire to hold Johnny, lol, but I never experienced a party where everyone was lining up and passing him around. A few people would walk up to me when I was holding him and maybe ask to hold him for a minute but it was something I never ever minded.

I feel that germs are airborne anyway..if he was going to get something in a crowded room, it would prob happen. Of course I always took measures to prevent him from obvious illness but I just couldn't live my life always wondering "what if this person was sick and gave it to Johnny".

Re: Not ready for family members to hold/touch baby

i personally had no problem with family members or friends passing around my baby. it's done out of love... plus, as much as i loved my baby, i also welcomed the break to be completely honest.

the world is covered in germs. it's absolutely unavoidable. of course i would have rathered my infant NOT be sick... but i also felt that it was unrealistic to expect that he wouldn't get sick eventually. so i was pretty lax about people holding him.

having said that, every mother needs to do what makes her comfortable. i don't think you need to relax. if you want to keep people from holding the baby, i say do it.

Re: Not ready for family members to hold/touch baby

The baby is 4 months old?
And its family members that you dont want to hold the baby?

Re: Not ready for family members to hold/touch baby

Like someone else said, I highly doubt there will be a motley crue waiting in line to manhandle your child.
We had over 80 people at DS's christening and the only people who held him were our parents, siblings, and maybe a few aunts. Everyone else was there to have a good time.....I think this is getting overblown a little....you'll be fine whatever way you decide to handle it.

Oh, and 2 things to add....

1-There is no preventing germs from invading your child. And it's proven that the less they are exposed, when they finally DO get sick, they get SICK.

2-There is also no way of preventing someone from voicing their opinion, whether you ask for it or not....just take it as that, their opinion.....

Message edited 3/4/2009 11:42:34 AM.

Re: Not ready for family members to hold/touch baby

I felt the same way when I had Julia, she was my first and I was so nervous of her getting sick, so I held her all the time and stressed myself out about it I too didn't want anyone to hold her at her baptism party and lots of family members got upset, but my mom told me to relax and that she has to be in pictures with her family! She was right, you can't protect them from everything and if they are going to get sick, its going to happen if you or someone else is holding them. Now that I have my 2nd, I beg for someone to take him so I can get a brake--lol

Don't let it stress you out, enjoy the party and get some help from others so you can enjoy yourself!!

Re: Not ready for family members to hold/touch baby

I think you need to let really close immediate family hold her, like the grandparents, your siblings, etc. As for extended family though, it's up to you.

As far as socialization goes, I don't think a baby being passed around (or not) by loads of people on one day is going to make a big difference. My DS is a very social child, but we don't have many family nearby, so he has never been passed around or surrounded by big groups of people. I think this is just how he is. I DO think it might help to bring her to a playgroup or classes of some kind very soon if she is not in daycare--I think it's good for kids to be around other kids and other parents from an early age. But back to your original question, do what makes you feel comfortable for the baptism. I really don't think everyone who is there needs to hold her.

Re: Not ready for family members to hold/touch baby