| Posted By |
Message |
| Pages: 1 [2] 3 4 5 >> |
JMC1014
We got a puppy!!
Member since 5/07 1420 total posts
Name:
J
|
Re: Oh ladies- I can't- I just CAN'T!!
After you serve him dinner of course....
|
Posted 8/17/07 11:03 AM  |
| |
|
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
BaroqueMama
Chase is one!
Member since 5/05 27530 total posts
Name:
me
|
Re: Oh ladies- I can't- I just CAN'T!!
Posted by racheeeee
I don't even understand this post. I am going to wait until I get home and have my husband read it to me.
Oh, that's a good idea!
|
| Posted 8/17/07 11:05 AM |
| |
|
Chai77
Brighter days ahead
Member since 4/07 7364 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Oh ladies- I can't- I just CAN'T!!
Posted by Tilde
Posted by MrsPJB2007
Posted by Tilde
so bash the book! totally get that -hey i have it at home but didnt read it yet!
i just feel like this ALWAYS gets personal . . .you know?
if you want to be traditional and conversation---i think that is great. everyone is different -- and i respect anyone else's way of life.
but i just don't like the fact that Dr. Laura BASHES the choices of women who chose NOT to go the 'traditional' route -- and that is what makes me angry. i do not judge anyone's lifestyle at all -- i hate someone who tells me that if i choose to work and have a family -- that i am wrong for it.
i also hate the idea of being told that if i lived with my DH before marriage and had sex before marriage , that i'm an "un paid WHORE"
hey i dont agree with or even KNOW everything that she says.
its wrong to bash those who are not being traditional . . .but i feel those who ARE traditional are bashed daily by MANY women. . .and looked down on!
ps - welcome to my fantasty world. . . if i dont work full time after marriage i will be living in a shoe box . .. i just mean other traditional male/female roles.
If a woman wants to be in a "traditional" relationship (whatever that means exactly), that's her choice. I do however have a problem with this "woman-must-serve-the-man" 1950's cr@p where it's all about the man and his needs and the woman is a second class citizen. That is completely disgusting to me and I'll go so far as to say that I think it has no place in today's society.
|
| Posted 8/17/07 11:07 AM |
| |
|
MsMBV
:P
Member since 5/05 28602 total posts
Name:
Me
|
Re: Oh ladies- I can't- I just CAN'T!!
Posted by Tilde
Thanks for proving my points girls! Feminism ISN'T about each woman making her own choices. It is about every woman making the SAME choices. I was right all along!
Am I the only one who sees this as degrading to the men as well? You guys can argue feminism all you want, but at the crux of the issue is that the author makes men out to be mindless idiots that only respond to sex & food.....sorry I have way too much respect for my DH to see him as something so shallow.
|
| Posted 8/17/07 11:10 AM |
| |
|
dgirl
LIF Adult
Member since 5/07 1079 total posts
Name:
Danielle
|
Re: Oh ladies- I can't- I just CAN'T!!
I don't know...I consider myself independent, I make the same as DH we are business partners, but at the same time I really do need to chart my PMS because I become a raving lunatic.
I know it, and its not fair to him that he can just expect that I am going to be a b!tch for a few days every month.
The bug thing too. I hate killing them, DH has to. DH cooks, but I am good at putting stuff together. I need him for heavy lifting though when I am working on something big.
I didn't read the book or even get through the full post, but I think that the magic formula is a bit of give and take all around.
|
| Posted 8/17/07 11:11 AM |
| |
|
2PreciousBlessings
The Perfect Pair
Member since 5/06 19861 total posts
Name:
Best Wife & Mommy
|
Re: Oh ladies- I can't- I just CAN'T!!
Posted by MsMBV
Posted by Tilde
Thanks for proving my points girls! Feminism ISN'T about each woman making her own choices. It is about every woman making the SAME choices. I was right all along!
Am I the only one who sees this as degrading to the men as well? You guys can argue feminism all you want, but at the crux of the issue is that the author makes men out to be mindless idiots that only respond to sex & food.....sorry I have way too much respect for my DH to see him as something so shallow.
ITA!
|
| Posted 8/17/07 11:13 AM |
| |
|
MsMBV
:P
Member since 5/05 28602 total posts
Name:
Me
|
Re: Oh ladies- I can't- I just CAN'T!!
Posted by Meaghan729
here's anothe doozy:
"Chart my menstrual cycle and remind myself on PMS days that what I'm feeling isn't true and to keep my mouth shut and let it pass."
if DH can't live with my PMS, than thats his problem
Yeah I cannot even touch that one. It is bad enough tracking a cycle for 7 years to become PG, now I have to track it too see if DH is too delicate to deal with PMS?
|
| Posted 8/17/07 11:13 AM |
| |
|
SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Oh ladies- I can't- I just CAN'T!!
Posted by MsMBV
Posted by Tilde
Thanks for proving my points girls! Feminism ISN'T about each woman making her own choices. It is about every woman making the SAME choices. I was right all along!
Am I the only one who sees this as degrading to the men as well? You guys can argue feminism all you want, but at the crux of the issue is that the author makes men out to be mindless idiots that only respond to sex & food.....sorry I have way too much respect for my DH to see him as something so shallow.
that is a very good point! my DH would be appalled by this author!! 
|
| Posted 8/17/07 11:15 AM |
| |
|
GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!
Member since 1/07 14818 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Oh ladies- I can't- I just CAN'T!!
Posted by MsMBV
Posted by Tilde
Thanks for proving my points girls! Feminism ISN'T about each woman making her own choices. It is about every woman making the SAME choices. I was right all along!
Am I the only one who sees this as degrading to the men as well? You guys can argue feminism all you want, but at the crux of the issue is that the author makes men out to be mindless idiots that only respond to sex & food.....sorry I have way too much respect for my DH to see him as something so shallow.
i understand what you are saying. . . and i know it doesnt apply to all men. . . but for SOME men, (including my FH) if i provided the sex and food . . . he would be pretty damn happy!
|
| Posted 8/17/07 11:15 AM |
| |
|
SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Oh ladies- I can't- I just CAN'T!!
Posted by Tilde
Posted by MsMBV
Posted by Tilde
Thanks for proving my points girls! Feminism ISN'T about each woman making her own choices. It is about every woman making the SAME choices. I was right all along!
Am I the only one who sees this as degrading to the men as well? You guys can argue feminism all you want, but at the crux of the issue is that the author makes men out to be mindless idiots that only respond to sex & food.....sorry I have way too much respect for my DH to see him as something so shallow.
i understand what you are saying. . . and i know it doesnt apply to all men. . . but for SOME men, (including my FH) if i provided the sex and food . . . he would be pretty damn happy!
how about intelligent conversation and challenging him intellectually every now and then?
|
| Posted 8/17/07 11:17 AM |
| |
|
MsMBV
:P
Member since 5/05 28602 total posts
Name:
Me
|
Re: Oh ladies- I can't- I just CAN'T!!
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
Posted by MsMBV
Posted by Tilde
Thanks for proving my points girls! Feminism ISN'T about each woman making her own choices. It is about every woman making the SAME choices. I was right all along!
Am I the only one who sees this as degrading to the men as well? You guys can argue feminism all you want, but at the crux of the issue is that the author makes men out to be mindless idiots that only respond to sex & food.....sorry I have way too much respect for my DH to see him as something so shallow.
that is a very good point! my DH would be appalled by this author!!
I so plan to show this to him just to see his response. Of course he will probably tell me that LIF is a bad influence
|
| Posted 8/17/07 11:17 AM |
| |
|
GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!
Member since 1/07 14818 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Oh ladies- I can't- I just CAN'T!!
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
Posted by Tilde
Posted by MsMBV
Posted by Tilde
Thanks for proving my points girls! Feminism ISN'T about each woman making her own choices. It is about every woman making the SAME choices. I was right all along!
Am I the only one who sees this as degrading to the men as well? You guys can argue feminism all you want, but at the crux of the issue is that the author makes men out to be mindless idiots that only respond to sex & food.....sorry I have way too much respect for my DH to see him as something so shallow.
i understand what you are saying. . . and i know it doesnt apply to all men. . . but for SOME men, (including my FH) if i provided the sex and food . . . he would be pretty damn happy!
how about intelligent conversation and challenging him intellectually every now and then?
Totally not my relationship!! LOL not at all! But if that is part of your relationship - that's awesome!
|
| Posted 8/17/07 11:18 AM |
| |
|
MegZee
My bunny
Member since 5/06 8777 total posts
Name:
Meaghan
|
Re: Oh ladies- I can't- I just CAN'T!!
Posted by Tilde
Posted by MsMBV
Posted by Tilde
Thanks for proving my points girls! Feminism ISN'T about each woman making her own choices. It is about every woman making the SAME choices. I was right all along!
Am I the only one who sees this as degrading to the men as well? You guys can argue feminism all you want, but at the crux of the issue is that the author makes men out to be mindless idiots that only respond to sex & food.....sorry I have way too much respect for my DH to see him as something so shallow.
i understand what you are saying. . . and i know it doesnt apply to all men. . . but for SOME men, (including my FH) if i provided the sex and food . . . he would be pretty damn happy!
my DH married me for my personality, intelligence, grace... not my ability to spread my legs and fry him chicken.
Message edited 8/17/2007 11:21:27 AM.
|
| Posted 8/17/07 11:19 AM |
| |
|
SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Oh ladies- I can't- I just CAN'T!!
Posted by Meaghan729
Posted by Tilde
Posted by MsMBV
Posted by Tilde
Thanks for proving my points girls! Feminism ISN'T about each woman making her own choices. It is about every woman making the SAME choices. I was right all along!
Am I the only one who sees this as degrading to the men as well? You guys can argue feminism all you want, but at the crux of the issue is that the author makes men out to be mindless idiots that only respond to sex & food.....sorry I have way too much respect for my DH to see him as something so shallow.
i understand what you are saying. . . and i know it doesnt apply to all men. . . but for SOME men, (including my FH) if i provided the sex and food . . . he would be pretty damn happy!
my DH married me for my personality, intelligents, grace... not my ability to spread my legs and fry him chicken.
|
| Posted 8/17/07 11:19 AM |
| |
|
MegZee
My bunny
Member since 5/06 8777 total posts
Name:
Meaghan
|
Re: Oh ladies- I can't- I just CAN'T!!
whopps, I spelled intelligence wrong -
better get out the deep fryer!!!
Message edited 8/17/2007 11:21:16 AM.
|
| Posted 8/17/07 11:20 AM |
| |
|
CaseyGirl
Mommy to 3 Boys :)
Member since 5/05 19978 total posts
Name:
Jen - counting my blessings...
|
Re: Oh ladies- I can't- I just CAN'T!!
I think the OP on LIW said she did not necessarily agree with "Dr" Laura she just found it interesting that you can control your environment and create your own happiness. I know that I do enjoy certain things taking care of my DH but for the most part it is an equal partnership. I think it is part of my femininity to want to do certain things for my DH but he will get a smack in the head if he goes overboard!
|
| Posted 8/17/07 11:21 AM |
| |
|
GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!
Member since 1/07 14818 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Oh ladies- I can't- I just CAN'T!!
Posted by Meaghan729
Posted by Tilde
Posted by MsMBV
Posted by Tilde
Thanks for proving my points girls! Feminism ISN'T about each woman making her own choices. It is about every woman making the SAME choices. I was right all along!
Am I the only one who sees this as degrading to the men as well? You guys can argue feminism all you want, but at the crux of the issue is that the author makes men out to be mindless idiots that only respond to sex & food.....sorry I have way too much respect for my DH to see him as something so shallow.
i understand what you are saying. . . and i know it doesnt apply to all men. . . but for SOME men, (including my FH) if i provided the sex and food . . . he would be pretty damn happy!
my DH married me for my personality, intelligents, grace... not my ability to spread my legs and fry him chicken.
lol that wasnt necessary. funny but not necessary!
|
| Posted 8/17/07 11:21 AM |
| |
|
SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Oh ladies- I can't- I just CAN'T!!
Posted by Meaghan729
whopps, I spelled intelligence wrong -
better get out the deep fryer!!!
PIMP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
|
| Posted 8/17/07 11:21 AM |
| |
|
|
|
Re: Oh ladies- I can't- I just CAN'T!!
Hey, my DH and I are geeks and we have lots of geeky conversations...and every time we are in Macy's he asks if we can buy a deep fryer.
So that's ALL men
|
| Posted 8/17/07 11:23 AM |
| |
|
SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Oh ladies- I can't- I just CAN'T!!
I just want to add something else here...
marriage is not rocket science. people have been getting married since the dawn of time. I guess I find it amusing that people actually buy books like this.
nothing wrong with self-help books, esp if your having a problem. but to buy a book simply on "how to be a wife" ???  
Message edited 8/17/2007 11:23:43 AM.
|
| Posted 8/17/07 11:23 AM |
| |
|
SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Oh ladies- I can't- I just CAN'T!!
Posted by glinda-goodwitch
Hey, my DH and I are geeks and we have lots of geeky conversations...and every time we are in Macy's he asks if we can buy a deep fryer.
So that's ALL men
 omg! that is so funny. DH and I were in Macy's a few weeks ago and he was also looking at the deep fryers (and waffle makers)
|
| Posted 8/17/07 11:24 AM |
| |
|
sticklee
LIF Adult
Member since 8/06 2984 total posts
Name:
Stick
|
Re: Oh ladies- I can't- I just CAN'T!!
i have no problem assuming some "traditional" roles of the woman of the household.. but that's because i LIKE to, not because someone TOLD me i HAD to
i like to make dinner, i don't mind cleaning.. but that is because i am naturally a nurturing person
this dr. laura woman should really let people live out their marriages the way they feel appropriate
|
| Posted 8/17/07 11:34 AM |
| |
|
mtnmama
Member since 5/06 4794 total posts
Name:
|
Message edited 7/13/2009 2:46:32 PM.
|
| Posted 8/17/07 11:47 AM |
| |
|
Goldi0218
My miracles!
Member since 12/05 23902 total posts
Name:
Leslie
|
Re: Oh ladies- I can't- I just CAN'T!!
I am going to comment on the article in dribs and drabs here based on my own experience. I am not necessarily opposed to what she says, I am more offended that she perceives women as weak people who need a guide to living life. :
Chapter 1: The Improper Care and Feeding of Husbands. The title tells all.
Thank God daily for such a terrific guy, mentioning specific qualities for which I'm grateful.
This I can do. Sometimes I do it out loud, sometimes silently.
Chart my menstrual cycle and remind myself on PMS days that what I'm feeling isn't true and to keep my mouth shut and let it pass.
This I have to do (as per my doctor's instructions) if we want to have children, it is for BOTH of us. OH and tell my sloughing uterus that it isn't happening.
Stay focused on making a home for my family and remember that it is my highest calling and responsibility, and that it has eternal value. The more I do this, the happier and more content I am.
That is a husband's responsibility as well so when he thinks about being drunk face down in a bowl of bar peanuts watching a game, he may wanna think twice. (BTW - my husband doesn't eat peanuts)
That's the first chapter, in a nutshell. It is so important for us to realize that we each chose our FH for a reason, and that we need to keep him for that same reason. It is SO HARD to find a good man, and SO EASY to keep one.
See and I think it is the other way around.
Chapter 4: Men have feelings? Really? You're kidding!
Now, men do not, and never will have the same feelings as us, and have the ability to express them in the same way. It is very VERY important to understand that.
I believe this to some extent. I believe they do not internalize things the way we do and I believe that they do not express themselves the way we do 100%.
From the book:
A man needs to feel strong and as a protector for women -- basically, to conquer the beast and rescue the fair maiden.
I have to admit that though I am far from a damsel in distress. There are times when I ask DH to do something I can do myself. It really isn't a big deal to make him feel important. I lived on my own for almost 10 years before DH and I moved in together and I didn't fall apart. If I ask him to put together a coffee table that I know I can do myself and it makes him feel good, I don't think our marriage or my self-esteem is going to suffer.
A man needs his woman to show him that she needs his strength to help her through life.
I think "HELP" is the key word here. There are going to be times in a marriage when one partner has to step it up a little but to balance out the other. Ideally a relationship should be 50/50, but, in my case, only 5 or 6 months in, I needed him to be 70 and I was only capable of 30. Fast forward to last summer, it was the other way around and for a completely different reason.
** The man should be the major breadwinner in the family. Every man needs a battle or war to win to prove himself that he is strong and capable of conquering any and all dragons that life throws his way. Taking care of his family by working and providing are his battles.
We both have equal and multiple degrees on our walls. However, an MBA will generally make more than a teacher. I am fine with that, but I also get paid for only 10 months of work and I have a boat load of vacation time that he doesn't and will never have. It balances itself out.
A man needs enthusiastic approval, appreciation, and respect from his wife for being a competent man, husband and father.
Do I look like a cheerleader? 2-4-6-8 Who do I appreciate? Good grief. NEXT!
A man needs his wife to show some interest in his interests, especially when it's an activity she may not "get" or like. Just being there is important.
Those of you who know me can answer this one on your own. The only interest I have in football are the cocktail weenies at the Super Bowl Party. I did learn to like WWE as much as I hate to admit it.
A man needs to know that his wife is sexually satisfied by him.
Actually, I think the whole neighborhood may know this.
A man needs his wife's encouragement in order to be a man.
See and I thought it was opposable thumbs. Silly me.
It's really important to realize that your FH has feelings too, and, even if he can't express them as well as you do, they're there, and they mean something.
Agreed.
Chapter 7: A Man Should Be Respected In His Own Home
Telling your mother about every little thing is such a bad idea. You may have forgiven and forgotten weeks ago, but, a mother doesn't.
No, she doesn't.
ETA:
I only had enough time to write all of this because my pearls are being restrung and my apron is in the wash.
Message edited 8/17/2007 11:58:44 AM.
|
| Posted 8/17/07 11:56 AM |
| |
|
MrsPJB2007
MBA at your service!
Member since 7/06 12020 total posts
Name:
MJ
|
Re: Oh ladies- I can't- I just CAN'T!!
Posted by cpanyc
I don't know Dr. Laura or anything about her. If the book helps some people that is good, for others who don't need it you'll save $20.
Here is info on Dr. Laura and the main reason ppl think she's a FRAUD when she tries to tell ppl how to live their lives:
--When she was younger while she was married -- she had an affair with a man (who was also married for 20 years).
--Said lover left his wife and family for her and they moved in together. She then had a child out of wedlock with him. (She CHASTISES women for this, calling them and this a QUOTE "unpaid Whores")
--sometime when she was in marriage #1 and before marriage #2 -- she had a relationship with a man who took rather naughty photos of her (that she obviously posed for). at first she tried to deny it and then later admitted she did it. (again she did this when she was married and if a female caller phoned into her show -- she would practically chop their head off)
--She had such a terrible relationship with her own mother & family (she preaches about family) -- and when her mother died...her body was not found in her apt. for 2 months.
--She was once pro-gay activists, and then one day just flip-flopped and stated that homosexuality was wrong and that they can "turn" straight.
a woman who has broken up a marriage and has come from one herself has NO RIGHT to try and tell others how to "care and feed" their husbands. she's a freaking hypocrite
and the whole notion about whats the harm in reading a book to save a marriage---if you need a BOOK to help your marriage you have many more issues at hand that a book won't help
|
| Posted 8/17/07 11:56 AM |
| |
|
| Pages: 1 [2] 3 4 5 >> |
