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Christine2
LIF Adult
Member since 2/09 1217 total posts
Name:
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Re: Ordering most expensive item on menu when someone else is picking up check
If they were told that they could order whatever they would like, then it is not rude. I think the generosity of the host is in question if they consider such an action to be rude. Otherwise have a set menu.
If was just a few people and a set menu would not make sense, then still it is not rude. It may be annoying to the one paying, but then again it was the host's decision.
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Posted 4/15/14 4:07 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
Pinkisles
<3
Member since 11/13 2868 total posts
Name:
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Re: Ordering most expensive item on menu when someone else is picking up check
Posted by BaysideForever
BIL always orders the most expensive thing off the menu. He's always goes for the biggest steaks, special salmon dishes etc. Especially when he knows someone else is paying--- he literally just looks for the item that costs the most money and picks that one.
My bil does the same thing! It drives me nuts. My MIL actually said something to him so now he only does it on his birthday
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| Posted 4/15/14 4:09 PM |
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sunnyflies
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 1757 total posts
Name:
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Re: Ordering most expensive item on menu when someone else is picking up check
Posted by Pinkisles
Posted by BaysideForever
BIL always orders the most expensive thing off the menu. He's always goes for the biggest steaks, special salmon dishes etc. Especially when he knows someone else is paying--- he literally just looks for the item that costs the most money and picks that one.
My bil does the same thing! It drives me nuts. My MIL actually said something to him so now he only does it on his birthday
My cousin always does the same thing, plus adds on appetizers, deserts and lots of drinks. Nobody in the family want to include her in restaurant meals any more as she's too expensive. She orders things she never would on her own, and she can't afford to take anyone else out for anything. She's very self-centered, selfish and feels entitled to have whatever she wants. Other than that she's charming 
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| Posted 4/15/14 4:17 PM |
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JSDB
<3
Member since 1/13 1329 total posts
Name:
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Re: Ordering most expensive item on menu when someone else is picking up check
Posted by sunnyflies
Posted by Pinkisles
Posted by BaysideForever
BIL always orders the most expensive thing off the menu. He's always goes for the biggest steaks, special salmon dishes etc. Especially when he knows someone else is paying--- he literally just looks for the item that costs the most money and picks that one.
My bil does the same thing! It drives me nuts. My MIL actually said something to him so now he only does it on his birthday
My cousin always does the same thing, plus adds on appetizers, deserts and lots of drinks. Nobody in the family want to include her in restaurant meals any more as she's too expensive. She orders things she never would on her own, and she can't afford to take anyone else out for anything. She's very self-centered, selfish and feels entitled to have whatever she wants. Other than that she's charming
I have a friend who does this. Once we went out to dinner for someone's birthday and everyone ordered basic entrees like chicken, pasta, etc, no apps, and had one drink each. Meanwhile, my DH friend ordered an app, the most expensive entree on the menu (well over 2x the price of everything else), and had 4 drinks. When it came time for dessert most people passed or split with their SO and DH friend ordered a dessert and a pricey scotch. Everyone was pissed because we all split the bill evenly as friend knew we would and picked up the birthday person's share too so it ended up $$$ and a lot of people were tight on funds and purposely ordered conservatively at the time. Apparently DH friend does this all the time for group dinners because he thinks it impresses everyone. Um, if you wanted to impress me pick up the tab for everyone! Having to subsidize your crazy meal (that you barely ate) doesnt impress me. Nobody wants to go out with him anymore for this reason. 
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| Posted 4/15/14 4:29 PM |
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Pinkisles
<3
Member since 11/13 2868 total posts
Name:
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Re: Ordering most expensive item on menu when someone else is picking up check
Posted by sunnyflies
Posted by Pinkisles
Posted by BaysideForever
BIL always orders the most expensive thing off the menu. He's always goes for the biggest steaks, special salmon dishes etc. Especially when he knows someone else is paying--- he literally just looks for the item that costs the most money and picks that one.
My bil does the same thing! It drives me nuts. My MIL actually said something to him so now he only does it on his birthday
My cousin always does the same thing, plus adds on appetizers, deserts and lots of drinks. Nobody in the family want to include her in restaurant meals any more as she's too expensive. She orders things she never would on her own, and she can't afford to take anyone else out for anything. She's very self-centered, selfish and feels entitled to have whatever she wants. Other than that she's charming
My sisters fb ordered filet mignon at my moms bday dinner. I think my jaw hit the floor. I thought it was rude, but then again I'm biased because I don't like him.
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| Posted 4/15/14 4:38 PM |
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DRMom
Two in Blue
Member since 5/05 20223 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: Ordering most expensive item on menu when someone else is picking up check
Posted by Chatham-Chick
If I'm hosting a party, I would hope my guests chose what they wanted off the menu that was presented to them, regardless of price.
And when I've been invited to a restaurant, I order what I want to eat there. I don't look for the most expensive item(s), but don't think I would order something just because it was cheaper for my host.
I agree. I would order what appealed to me. I honestly wouldn't even think about the price.
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| Posted 4/15/14 4:55 PM |
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Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!
Member since 8/05 14470 total posts
Name:
Veronica
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Ordering most expensive item on menu when someone else is picking up check
All depends on the event
Vendor takes me out, I'm eating whatever I want
Host is putting together a party and its on their dime, then I stay middle of the pack.
But honestly I've been out with vendors who pick places where the cheapest thing ON the menu is $30 for a salad. What am I going to do? So I order the 'special' whatever the place is known for. Hey might as well, none of us are actually paying for it. Its on a company dime and chances are I won't ever be back.
Someone hosting a party for a friend or engagement etc. I go with what I'd order if I was paying or middle of the pack. No apps no drinks (unless I pay for them myself).
But I agree that if the host had a limit they'd get a prix fix menu.
Honestly I just prefer not to look like a pig :D
Now at Disney when I have my deluxe dinning plan? All bets are off.. we pick the HIGHEST price thing and ask if the deluxe picks up the app and dessert if so we get it even if we don't finish it! LOL
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| Posted 4/15/14 5:02 PM |
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KarenK122
The Journey is the Destination
Member since 5/05 4431 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Ordering most expensive item on menu when someone else is picking up check
If no mention of cost is given from the host then I would order what I want. My parents take a big bunch of us out to dinner monthly and pay for it (we offer to pay but they decline). Most of the time we all order what we want, some steak, some chicken, some get apps, etc. There are times though that my father may say, it's a burger night which is code for keep it on the low end and we all get cheaper meals and split apps.
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| Posted 4/15/14 5:06 PM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10314 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: Ordering most expensive item on menu when someone else is picking up check
Posted by KarenK122
If no mention of cost is given from the host then I would order what I want. My parents take a big bunch of us out to dinner monthly and pay for it (we offer to pay but they decline). Most of the time we all order what we want, some steak, some chicken, some get apps, etc. There are times though that my father may say, it's a burger night which is code for keep it on the low end and we all get cheaper meals and split apps.
Awe that sweet and cute.
If I do this, host a dinner with no limitations on menu, then I always tell everyone order whatever you want. So no one is uncormfortable or shy to order the steak/pricey meal.
Obviously, this is a rare event cause I'm not
Rockefeller, but I did something like this for my DS's baptism since we didn't have a huge party.
Message edited 4/15/2014 5:11:32 PM.
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| Posted 4/15/14 5:10 PM |
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Re: Ordering most expensive item on menu when someone else is picking up check
Posted by loveus
Posted by MsSissy
Posted by loveus
Posted by Straightarrow
Posted by loveus
Yes it is rude. We had a party with a priced fix menu and an open bar. The people who drank I had no problem paying for their drinks because as people say, if you would pay for it yourself I don't see a problem. Most drank beer, wine or a simple vodka.
I had a guest that was constantly ordering top-shelf liquor straight and I have never seen them pay for 1 drink yet alone an expensive one. They took advance of us being generous and treating our family and friends. I haven't hosted another party since but when I do, things will be different.
No offense, but how can you get mad when you have an open bar? If you wanted to put restrictions on it, then you should have.
I would have put restrictions but I didn't realize that I would have been taken advantage of. Out of 30 adults there is always one that makes you regret some of your decisions. I did say going forward things would change and unfortunately this person would still need to be invited.
Isn't open bar already paid for in advance with the package? Did the bar charge you more at the end of the party for top shelf liquor? Or were you running a tab at the bar?
We ran a tab. I didn't care that someone ordered Grey Goose as opposed to Absolute (I would have done the same). I don't remember the name of the liquor but they were getting double shots of some expensive liquor that was around $15 each. All other drinks were no more than $8 each. I find it rude and that is my opinion. As I said to begin with, I have learned my lesson and this won't happen again.
Honestly, all bets are off when certain people start drinking. I'm glad you learned your lesson. When alcohol is involved and you're running a tab, who's to say someone doesn't say "shots for all" KWIM?
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| Posted 4/15/14 6:15 PM |
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Re: Ordering most expensive item on menu when someone else is picking up check
PS: I know some people may disagree but when I was younger and a lot more broke, I ran a tab for something one night. I told the bartender in advance once people started to get over 2-3 drinks, to give me a heads up. It was nice because there were some +1s I didn't know who showed up who ended up paying for themselves and also friends chipped in and paid for a round since I was celebrating an accomplishment.
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| Posted 4/15/14 6:36 PM |
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Lillykat
going along for the ride...
Member since 5/05 16253 total posts
Name:
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Re: Ordering most expensive item on menu when someone else is picking up check
I think yes it could be rude. It depends on the situation. I was always taught when someone took me out to look for clues as to what to order. Often a good way is to ask if they had been there and what they recommend, and maybe what they are getting. That is a good way to judge. That way if your host is ordering a $25 meal I would want to pick a similar or less priced item. But no I would not order the most expensive item unless the host was ordering it too and pressed me to (I.e, we are having x and it is delicious I highly recommend it and you should try it). But if they are not ordering salads or apps I do not and I pick what I would enjoy in the range either of what they are getting or what they suggested. I am sorry but just because someone takes me out I do not see it as a free for all. So yes I think it could be rude depending on the situation. While I agree the host should pick a place they can afford I would not necessarily expect a guest to order the most expensive full courses, several drinks etc if the host is not ordering in a similar fashion. They are treating you to a meal not a free for all.
As far as pre selecting a menu I have never seen this at a small dinner, a dinner party with a large group yes but not if say someone took 3-4 people out to dinner.
I also see your parents taking you out very different than a friend, neighbor or whatever. You know what your parents expectations are and IMO very different than a non family event.
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| Posted 4/15/14 7:36 PM |
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Atherley
So in Love with my DS
Member since 1/11 1122 total posts
Name:
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Re: Ordering most expensive item on menu when someone else is picking up check
Posted by Hofstra26
I always try to gauge what everyone else is ordering and then I choose what I am going to have accordingly.
If everyone is getting burgers I'm certainly not going to order a $42 steak. I would feel awkward ordering a very expensive dish unless everyone else was as well.
This
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| Posted 4/15/14 8:22 PM |
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JME78
LIF Adult
Member since 11/09 3672 total posts
Name:
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Re: Ordering most expensive item on menu when someone else is picking up check
I don't think its rude - but I never do it - unless its business.
We occasionally take clients for very good sushi and we go hog wild.
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| Posted 4/15/14 9:03 PM |
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Bellaocchi
Hope Faith Love
Member since 2/07 5694 total posts
Name:
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Re: Ordering most expensive item on menu when someone else is picking up check
Yes, It is not right.
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| Posted 4/15/14 9:33 PM |
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saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
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Re: Ordering most expensive item on menu when someone else is picking up check
It's not, but I would order what I wanted and I'm sure it wouldn't be the most expensive item.
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| Posted 4/15/14 10:36 PM |
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butterfly20
Party of 5 - 2015
Member since 4/06 7390 total posts
Name:
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Ordering most expensive item on menu when someone else is picking up check
I wouldn't. People would probably talk.... look it everyone gets $10 burgers go for a $20 steak. Not the big surf and turf
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| Posted 4/15/14 10:36 PM |
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Kath14
LIF Infant
Member since 8/09 88 total posts
Name:
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Re: Ordering most expensive item on menu when someone else is picking up check
Posted by Sunny10
If you are going to dinner party at a restaurant that someone else is hosting, say entrees are anywhere from $16 to $42, is it rude for a guest to order the most expensive entrée, $42 entrée?
Going by OP alone, no, I would not order the most expensive dish on the menu. I would find something I liked in the mid-range of the menu. I wouldn't see being taken out to dinner as a free-for-all.
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| Posted 4/15/14 10:39 PM |
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saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
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Re: Ordering most expensive item on menu when someone else is picking up check
Posted by Xelindrya
All depends on the event
Vendor takes me out, I'm eating whatever I want
Host is putting together a party and its on their dime, then I stay middle of the pack.
But honestly I've been out with vendors who pick places where the cheapest thing ON the menu is $30 for a salad. What am I going to do? So I order the 'special' whatever the place is known for. Hey might as well, none of us are actually paying for it. Its on a company dime and chances are I won't ever be back.
Someone hosting a party for a friend or engagement etc. I go with what I'd order if I was paying or middle of the pack. No apps no drinks (unless I pay for them myself).
But I agree that if the host had a limit they'd get a prix fix menu.
Honestly I just prefer not to look like a pig :D
Now at Disney when I have my deluxe dinning plan? All bets are off.. we pick the HIGHEST price thing and ask if the deluxe picks up the app and dessert if so we get it even if we don't finish it! LOL
Hahah. We do the same at Disney. It's already paid for, I'm getting the ribs!!!!
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| Posted 4/15/14 10:39 PM |
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NoStressMom
My Heart and Soul
Member since 5/05 11122 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Ordering most expensive item on menu when someone else is picking up check
Posted by evrythng4areason
I normally wouldn't do it-the only time I have is when it's for business and a company, not an individual is picking up the bill
This
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| Posted 4/16/14 9:15 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Ordering most expensive item on menu when someone else is picking up check
Only if I plan to put out that night.....
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| Posted 4/16/14 9:19 AM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: Ordering most expensive item on menu when someone else is picking up check
I would stay within the pack. I certainly wouldn't order something I don't like just to keep costs down, but I'm not that picky so I'm sure I would be able to find something in the middle.
But just to comment in the bar bill thing from a couple of posts up... If the person was aware you were running a separate bar tab, then yes it was rude. But if the person thought you had arranged for open bar, then I don't think it's so bad. It's very possible he was trying to take advantage of the situation, and not necessarily know he was actually taking advantage if you personally.
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| Posted 4/16/14 9:52 AM |
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2BadSoSad
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 6791 total posts
Name:
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Re: Ordering most expensive item on menu when someone else is picking up check
No.
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| Posted 4/16/14 10:15 AM |
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jendar
happy bday mom! 7yrs married
Member since 12/13 1323 total posts
Name:
thank you mom. i love you
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Re: Ordering most expensive item on menu when someone else is picking up check
If the dish i really wanted to eat was the most expensive. Id order it lol
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| Posted 4/16/14 1:18 PM |
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Paramount
Sweet!
Member since 7/12 4287 total posts
Name:
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Re: Ordering most expensive item on menu when someone else is picking up check
First, I would NOT do it.
I would stay middle of the road, in general.
Do I think its RUDE? No. Exacerbating? yes.
It would make me feel like someone is taking advantage.
I know that when I take someone out I say, up front "get what you want". If that means the fillet, so be it.
If I am splitting a check with people 50/50 I watch what I am eating and drinking. I don't go overboard.
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| Posted 4/16/14 1:28 PM |
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