Parents of Late Talkers (Update)

I know I have a chip on my shoulder regarding this topic, but kind of need to vent about it.

Does it bug you when people speak of early speech as a sign of intelligence or remark upon children who speak early as being very smart?

It annoys me frankly. DS I feel is reasonably smart, I don't see a budding genius, but there were a lot of things he understood fairly early such as his colors, concepts, and some basic social skills. He could stack huge towers of blocks way before he was supposed to, could figure out how to operate things pretty quickly, and is a whiz at puzzles. However, he could not articulate the things he knew--you only knew what he understood if you work with him and ask him questions. But it sometimes seems like the children who speak early (or on time) are seen as more intelligent by many.

I know it's an overgeneralization and I'm probably overly sensitive, but just needed to say it.

***UPDATE: I hope no parents of early talkers on here thought I was referring to them--I am not actually. This is more about my experiences with people off the board, and generally not even with the parents themselves, but with other people.
I do not begrudge parents the joy of talking about how many words their little ones are saying--I am honestly happy for you and your child, and you have every right to be proud of your children's achievements. Just wanted to clarify. ***

Message edited 2/20/2010 2:28:06 PM.

Re: Parents of Late Talkers

I do - my DD wasn't a late talker but I DO know a number of very bright children who didn't talk until they were older or very little until they were older and they are very bright. People always tens to make generalizations about things. It is very hard to do but sometimes you have to just ignore them.

Didn't Einstein not speak until he was 3 or something like that?

Re: Parents of Late Talkers

My BIL was a late talker and he is on full scholarship to a very prestigious private high school. It means nothing

Re: Parents of Late Talkers

Re: Parents of Late Talkers

I completely understand. Its frustrating in a sense because my DS was so ahead of the curve on everything physical (early rollover, early sit-up, early crawl, cruise, stand, walk, and now run & climb).

He babbles ALL DAY long but I'm DYING to hear words. I know he's smart. He plays games, loves play fetch with the ball, plays patticake, plays peek aboo (where he is hiding, not you), he points in books, laughs & dances with the tv when he is suppose to, etc.

I pray he starts talking soon!!! He's 13 mos. Please, please, please!!! My Ped isn't concerned, but mommy wants a mama soon!!

Message edited 2/19/2010 3:50:10 PM.

Re: Parents of Late Talkers

I posted earlier about how I was excited about my DD saying so many words at almost 13 months, but I in no way said I thought she was more intelligent than anyone else's child. Hope my post didn't "annoy" you.

I'm sure your DS will start talking when he is ready!

Re: Parents of Late Talkers

I think it goes both ways...DD is an early talker but is not yet walking at 14 mos..and I get comments all the time, about ooooh wow that's late and you need to encourage her etc....I think a late talker has nothing to do with intellegence at all, a very close friend of mine didn't talk until she was 2.5 and is now a renowned neurosurgeon!

Re: Parents of Late Talkers

Message edited 2/19/2010 3:56:47 PM.

Re: Parents of Late Talkers

Not so much did that annoy me as much as parents of early talkers giving me "tips"

that they read to their kids...I read non stop.
sing to their kids...I sang all the time
ABCs...well, really? what did you think i was singing?

Honestly, I have learned, I don't care...early walker, talker, potty trained...the most important thing to me is a nice kid....I know a ton of monsters.

I just want nice kids who I don't mind spending my days with.

Is josh a smartie? who knows...outside of box thinker? completely. I don't understand his thought process at all. I talk more then anyone I know. If I were him, I would have spoken up. He did not want to.

To this day, if he doesn't feel like talking, he just won't.

Never spoke to speech therapists...I had to video tape it in order to graduate.

Re: Parents of Late Talkers

My DS was severely speech delayed. Did not speak one word till after 18 months (which was about a month after starting therapy). It was a loooooong road of having to hear about all these other brilliant early talkers.

One time at a Gymboree class, I mentioned to a mom how my son was late in talking and she said "Well, both my kids talked early. That's because I read to them." Okkkkk........

I can totally relate to what you're saying.

Re: Parents of Late Talkers

Re: Parents of Late Talkers

My sons only say 4 words at 15 months, but I think they are very smart in other ways. Language does not mean intelligence at this age!

Re: Parents of Late Talkers

i 100% agree and could prob written this post... at 17 months ds is now starting to try and speak but while he was behind in that he has alot of skills that some kids dont have.... infact most of his toys are actually for older then his age... my parents even tried to tell me he was autistic since he hasnt spoken... that and he was deaf... i dont let it bother me... to be honest i think for him it is genetic.. as much as i love dh's family, chatty they are not.. holidays are spent watching golf or football on tv without any other conversation

Re: Parents of Late Talkers

I watch a little boy who is 10 days older than my daughter. They are both 28 months old. My daughter has been talking in full sentances since a very early age. This little boy only says a few words. I see no difference in intelligence in them They both understnad the same things I say but only one can talk back and be a smarta$$

Message edited 2/19/2010 4:45:10 PM.

Re: Parents of Late Talkers

My son didn't talk until he was 3 and I know what you mean. Late speech has absolutely nothing to do with intelligence. They just can't get the words out! People have no idea how they come across in what they say. People will often say to an early talker "they are so smart!", which they are, but it can be implied that a late talker is not if you are in the presence of someone who has a child with a speech delay. Whenever I see a child that is speaking very well early on I always say "He/She is so verbal!"

Re: Parents of Late Talkers

Posted by CJMommy

My sons only say 4 words at 15 months, but I think they are very smart in other ways. Language does not mean intelligence at this age!

Re: Parents of Late Talkers

yes, bothers me too.

My son is a late speaker but is cognitively off the charts. One has nothing to do with another.

At the time that I we realized he was delayed I had a hard time with it myself because I wanted to believe it didn't effect his intelligence but didn't know for sure. But now I know.

Re: Parents of Late Talkers

I can understand your frustration. Kids develop at their own pace and there's such a wide range as to when they acquire various skills.

What bothers me most is when DS is being compared to other children. My parents do this and it drives me insane. They compare him to me as a child and to their friends' grandchildren. He's 14 months and isn't walking on his own, just got his first tooth a few weeks ago and other than mama and uh oh, doesn't say any words. Sure, I'd love for him to communicate more and walk, but he'll do those things when he's ready. He understands a lot though, which I think is great. IMO, the fact that he isn't talking yet isn't an indication of his intelligence.

Re: Parents of Late Talkers

My DD is a late talker and I just giggle inside when people think that early language skills = high intelligence. My oldest step-son didn't speak till almost 4, he is now 9 and reads on an 8th grade level, is in an advanced math course and participates in a before school gifted program. He is proof that one has nothing to do with the other. We were so worried about him when he was little and now, we are all pretty sure he is smarter than us LOL. I never worry about DD's delay because I wouldn't mind in the least if she followed in her big brother's footsteps. She understands everything and follows all our commands.

Re: Parents of Late Talkers

I agree with many posters, the comparing isn't good no matter what the topic--smarts, cuteness, walking early, etc. So many people just don't think when they speak.

Re: Parents of Late Talkers

I don't know much about the subject since DD is only 3 months old, but my half sister has a 2 and half year old and he still doesn't talk. He does however sign. They taught him sign langague to help him communicate and he really does seem very intelligent. They live in San Diego so I dont see them often.

anyway funny story is, one day he fell behind the couch and got stuck and all of a sudden you hear this little voice saying "Help" "Help" So Help ended up being his first word! Everyone was dying laughing because they couldn't believe that he was saying that. So this whole time he didn't talk but definitely understood what things meant. I guess he chose not to talk.

Genius!

Re: Parents of Late Talkers

I don't remember getting comments. If I did, they didn't bother me. My ped was quick to tell us it makes no difference and that since DH was a late talker, our kids would be too.

My kids walked early...doesn't mean they are getting an athletic scholarship.

Re: Parents of Late Talkers

DD#1 is 9 years old and hardly said a word until she was 2
She is now in 3rd grade and a staight A student.
So... :p

Re: Parents of Late Talkers

My parents got the opposite - I said my first words around 9 months but didn't roll over until just before that . I was behind in every single physical milestone and people kept telling them to bring me to doctors, something's really wrong, etc. It drove them nuts.

I think kids develop at different rates and everyone needs to keep their opinions to themselves

Re: Parents of Late Talkers

I can speak from definite experience on this one...

My eldest daughter developed typically language wise until she was about 2. She spoke her first words at 9/10 months and had an age appropriate vocabulary at 1, 2, & 3....it wasnt until language became more complex that we started to see that there were issues in relation to speech. (Which were to be expected since she has Mosaic Down Syndrome) My daughter is, at age 16, doing very well. But she is doing well for a child who has Down Syndrome...She's in the Life Skills Program at her High School.

My twins were extremely verbal at a VERY young age. They had a 6 word vocab at their 6 month ped appointment. The ped was in shock. Especially considering they are twins and they tend to develop speech later than singletons. My girls were speaking in full sentences at the time they were 18 months of age. (Im not exaggerating) They are now 11 years old. Now, while their vocabulary continues to exceed their years they are, by no means, geniuses. They are average students who have to work at it in order to get good grades. If early speech was indicator of intelligence then my girls should be graduating high school at this point with full scholarships to Harvard.

Now there is my DS...at 2.5 his speech is "typicalish". He has an age appropriate vocabulary, combines words, etc...but he isnt really speaking in full sentences. However he does appear to have a nice understanding of speech uses "ed" and "ing" when appropriate etc...He appears to be ahead of his siblings when it comes to his other abilities though. Walked earlier, knows all of his colors, letters (upper and lower case), can write some letters, advanced on puzzles etc...Time will only tell when it comes to him.

All of our children develop at different rates. Some are more verbal, some physical...it doesnt need to be a competion.