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Charly
LOVE!
Member since 5/05 12578 total posts
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Re: Playdate question for 4 year old...wwyd **updated**
I'm not afraid to say I prefer driving at all - its more the leaving her there. Perhaps she thinks she's doing me a favor, giving me some alone time. Another factor is - I have a 2 year old boy, so if I do stay - he comes too. She may not be interested in having a 2.5 year old boy there as well.
I have to give the leaving her there thing some thought. There are definitely people I would leave her alone with, but I just don't this woman well enough yet.
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Posted 1/31/11 1:33 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
ABCiverson
<3 my family
Member since 1/06 7465 total posts
Name:
Amanda
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Re: Playdate question for 4 year old...wwyd **updated**
If my 4 year old wasn't diabetic I woulnt mind her going to a playdate without me. But I wouldn't feel comfortable with the driving part.
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| Posted 1/31/11 1:35 PM |
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Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy
Member since 3/08 10420 total posts
Name:
Momx100
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Re: Playdate question for 4 year old...wwyd **updated**
Posted by Charly
I'm not afraid to say I prefer driving at all - its more the leaving her there. Perhaps she thinks she's doing me a favor, giving me some alone time. Another factor is - I have a 2 year old boy, so if I do stay - he comes too. She may not be interested in having a 2.5 year old boy there as well.
I have to give the leaving her there thing some thought. There are definitely people I would leave her alone with, but I just don't this woman well enough yet.
I just read your update. It seems very odd that she doesn't want you driving to her home and would meet you at the school!
Why don't you counter and invite them over to your home?
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| Posted 1/31/11 1:36 PM |
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Mom2010
LIF Toddler
Member since 3/10 384 total posts
Name:
Eclaire Lover
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Re: Playdate question for 4 year old...wwyd **updated**
Follow your Mom's instincts on this. If it doesn't feel comfortable, there's a reason. Our babies are our most precious gifts. Don't do anything that doesn't feel right.
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| Posted 1/31/11 1:36 PM |
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Lucky
Growing up fast!
Member since 4/07 12683 total posts
Name:
Dawn
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Re: Playdate question for 4 year old...wwyd **updated**
Posted by MaMaTeenie
Posted by jerseypanda
Personally, I would never let my 4 year old go in someone else's car who I am not good friends with.
I don't even think I would leave my 4 year old at a playdate without being there.
The only way I would let this playdate happen is if I drove DD there and stayed.
This.
Same. I wouldn't hesitate to tell her that either.
ETA: I know you feel bad but it's not at all about that or the mom at all. This is about the safety of your child. Don't let anyone "pressure" you into doing something you are not comfortable with.
Message edited 1/31/2011 1:41:39 PM.
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| Posted 1/31/11 1:36 PM |
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Jan1975
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Member since 8/09 3846 total posts
Name:
Sarah
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Re: Playdate question for 4 year old...wwyd **updated**
After your update I would be very frank with her and say that since this is their first playdate you really don't feel comfortable with DD alone at the house. Even though at this point I wouldn't even want my DD to go, this woman sounds strange. Maybe her house is messy?
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| Posted 1/31/11 1:39 PM |
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neener1211
:-)
Member since 4/07 22952 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: Playdate question for 4 year old...wwyd **updated**
After your update:
1. I don't want anyone driving my 4 year old.
2. I would like to know WHERE my 4 year old is at all times, so not knowing where her house is, is a little odd.
I would decline the play date at this point.
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| Posted 1/31/11 1:40 PM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Playdate question for 4 year old...wwyd **updated**
I didn't read any of the responses before answering, but I wouldn't do it. I am not sure I would be 100% comfortable leaving my 4 year old with someone I didn't know very well, but I definitely would not want someone I didn't know well driving my kids anywhere.
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| Posted 1/31/11 1:43 PM |
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Charly
LOVE!
Member since 5/05 12578 total posts
Name:
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Re: Playdate question for 4 year old...wwyd **updated**
sorry I thought I mentioned in my original post that I've been to her house once for her DD's birthday party a year ago. It's clean and nice. I'd also have to go there to pick her up, so I do know where she lives.
I don't know if she's trying to do me a favor and give me free time or trying to avoid spending time with me
ETA my DD is still in a britax car seat, so she doesn't even have a booster that moves easily from car to car - so anyone driving her but me or DH has never happened!
Message edited 1/31/2011 1:44:55 PM.
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| Posted 1/31/11 1:43 PM |
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monkeybride
My Everything
Member since 5/05 20541 total posts
Name:
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Re: Playdate question for 4 year old...wwyd **updated**
We do this all the time. It's not a big deal to me but it's always with parents I am comfortable with. I'd rather not stay at a play date with a mom I'm not friend's with. I dont' want to sit and have to make small talk.
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| Posted 1/31/11 1:45 PM |
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KartveliT
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Member since 1/08 8363 total posts
Name:
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Re: Playdate question for 4 year old...wwyd **updated**
I wouldn't do it, not only bc of the driving factor -I wouldn't want someone I don't know driving DD (I would even have a hard time trusting someone I actually know well, I;m a bit paranoid). But also bc I wouldn't want my DD going to anyone's house without me -whether I know them well or not and whether I have been to their house or not (other than close family) -If I can't be there she is NOT going.
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| Posted 1/31/11 1:49 PM |
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Charly
LOVE!
Member since 5/05 12578 total posts
Name:
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Re: Playdate question for 4 year old...wwyd **updated**
Posted by monkeybride
We do this all the time. It's not a big deal to me but it's always with parents I am comfortable with. I'd rather not stay at a play date with a mom I'm not friend's with. I dont' want to sit and have to make small talk.
This is what my DH's feels. She doesn't know me and doesn't want to have to make small talk. He's more comfortable with leaving her for a couple of hours than I am...I just wish I knew her better.
Message edited 1/31/2011 1:56:43 PM.
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| Posted 1/31/11 1:56 PM |
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nickipa
love my boys!
Member since 4/06 5648 total posts
Name:
Nicki
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Re: Playdate question for 4 year old...wwyd **updated**
My DS is only 3 and I still go with him for play dates. I do have a neighbor I am close with who I feel comfortable letting him go over to play, but then again I baby sit her kids too. I guess if it were a close friend of mine or at least someone I knew well I would consider it, but I would still be the one doing the driving. Perhaps you can invite them to your house instead? If you aren't comfortable with the idea, my best advice is to follow your gut. 
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| Posted 1/31/11 2:01 PM |
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CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
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Re: Playdate question for 4 year old...wwyd **updated**
I am no where near letting DD have a playdate without be present the entire time unless it is very close friend of mine or family.
You just never know.
I think I am shaping up to be an overprotective mom, but I'm okay with that.
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| Posted 1/31/11 2:15 PM |
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CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
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Re: Playdate question for 4 year old...wwyd **updated**
Posted by Charly
Posted by monkeybride
We do this all the time. It's not a big deal to me but it's always with parents I am comfortable with. I'd rather not stay at a play date with a mom I'm not friend's with. I dont' want to sit and have to make small talk.
This is what my DH's feels. She doesn't know me and doesn't want to have to make small talk. He's more comfortable with leaving her for a couple of hours than I am...I just wish I knew her better.
I would just swap it on her then-tell her she can drop her kid at your house.
Have you been to her house yet? Just curious if she is hiding something.
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| Posted 1/31/11 2:16 PM |
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SecretTTCer
LIF Adult
Member since 6/08 2284 total posts
Name:
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Re: Playdate question for 4 year old...wwyd **updated**
Just tell her that you have yet to leave your daughter alone for a playdate and you are not ready yet!
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| Posted 1/31/11 2:18 PM |
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ktcmblondie
LIF Infant
Member since 9/08 201 total posts
Name:
Kristy
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Re: Playdate question for 4 year old...wwyd **updated**
Posted by Mom2010
Follow your Mom's instincts on this. If it doesn't feel comfortable, there's a reason. Our babies are our most precious gifts. Don't do anything that doesn't feel right.
ITA with this! Something sounds very strange about her insisting on excluding you....My mommy radar is up just reading your post. I would definitely not leave her there alone.
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| Posted 1/31/11 2:37 PM |
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jennyg
LIF Adolescent
Member since 5/05 633 total posts
Name:
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Re: Playdate question for 4 year old...wwyd **updated**
Why don't you tell her your daughter insists on you being there for a playdate? Then mention that you also have your 2.5 yr old DS and so it might be easier to come to your house? I think its reasonable that after 1 playdate where both parents are present, the next one you can leave if you feel comfortable.
As for me, I was shocked that I invited a couple of 5yr old girls to have a playdate with DD, none of the moms had ever met me, and every single one of them dropped them off and declined to stay after I offered to have them in!!!
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| Posted 1/31/11 2:39 PM |
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Ladybug63
Ohh... baby
Member since 5/06 2527 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Playdate question for 4 year old...wwyd **updated**
No & No
1. I would not let someone I didn't know very well and whom I've driven with or behind drive my child anywhere.
2. I would not leave my kid at someone's house whom I didn't know VERY well.
3. I would never have my kid at someone's house that I've never been in...let alone not know where it is.... Sorry...just saw that you've been there.
I'd tell her straight out that I'm funny when it comes to this stuff, that I'm overprotective and that I don't really allow other people to drive my kids around.
I gave my own mother a speech about driving w/ my kids. There's no cell law in FL and I told her if I caught her texting or talking on the phone while driving w/ my kids I'd beat her 
Message edited 1/31/2011 2:42:55 PM.
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| Posted 1/31/11 2:39 PM |
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THUMPER
LIF Adolescent
Member since 5/05 509 total posts
Name:
Laurie
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Re: Playdate question for 4 year old...wwyd **updated**
I would just blame it on hubby, and tell her he is not comfortable with someone driving his baby around, and leaving her alone at such a young age.
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| Posted 1/31/11 3:10 PM |
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CaidensMommy
My 3 Miracles!
Member since 5/05 5777 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: Playdate question for 4 year old...wwyd **updated**
That happened to me with my then 3 yr old. A mom there kept insisting that she take my son home with her to play with her son and then I can pick him up from there later on. First off, I didn't know this mom, I've only seen her around and she was VERY weird, and her son was mean to my kid. #1, I don't know you, your kid is mean and I don't let other people drive my kids around. I did tell her no, that I'm not comfortable with the idea. She basicaly stopped going near me after that. 
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| Posted 1/31/11 3:36 PM |
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Sweets13
Bella Bambini
Member since 5/05 9300 total posts
Name:
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Re: Playdate question for 4 year old...wwyd **updated**
Before your update I was shaking my head no. Now with your updated HECK NO!!
Why even bother speaking with your DH.
Tell her you would feel more comfortable driving and staying.
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| Posted 1/31/11 3:37 PM |
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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19458 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Playdate question for 4 year old...wwyd **updated**
My mommy radar is up, I would have to decline the invite. Her insistence on excluding you from the play date bothers me a lot.
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| Posted 1/31/11 5:00 PM |
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Merf99
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3380 total posts
Name:
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Re: Playdate question for 4 year old...wwyd **updated**
I have let DD go on a playdate once without me but I am friendly with the mom and the girls have known each other for 2 years and play frquently together. I was nervous as hell but allowed it. And I've hosted other kids over my house without their parents - but again, they are all kids who I know the parents and they have been to my house alot.
It is just veyr wierd to me that she asked that you meet her at school and she will take your DD. That def signals to me that she doesn't want you at the playdate. I wouldn't be 100% comfortbale at that and would be totally honest and let her know that your DD doesn't do playdates alone yet, and while it's so nice of her to offer to take her, that you would haev to come along as well. If she says no, then oh well. At 4, it's nto unreasonable for you to want to be there. She's like 8!
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| Posted 1/31/11 5:09 PM |
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