Please tell me I am not a horrible mother!

I am so sad right now. My 22 month old ds has been sick for about 2 weeks. Its really just a cold but with fever every so often. I took him back to the dr and he lost a pound since april. He is a very very bad eater. He wouldnt eat a thing if i didnt force him to. He drinks lots of water and a glass of milk a day. I know he probably fills up on liquids thus hes not hungry.
Well today at the dr she couldnt really find anything wrong besides a cold still and she said the main reason is probably bc he doesnt eat and he is weaking his immune system. This is why he has been sick so long. I feel like a bad mom, like i should do more, but I honestly try, i feel at a loss.

I made an appointment with a nutritionist. I am hoping I get some answers so my ds doesnt wither away and constantly stay sick...

Re: Please tell me I am not a horrible mother!

You're not a horrible mother!

Have you tried any of those liquid meal things like Pediasure? Maybe you can get some extra calories into him that way.

Re: Please tell me I am not a horrible mother!

You are not a bad mother! You sound quite caring and concerned so don't think that. You are taking the necessary steps to try to figure out how to get your DS to strengthen his immune system through better nutrition, picky eaters are tough!

In the mean time maybe you can give him pediasure or something like that. Maybe make him so yogurt smoothies with fruits blended in.

Re: Please tell me I am not a horrible mother!

Thanks for the reassurance. I was hysterical in the dr office. Like im supposed to protect my son and I havent succeeded. He is so picky. I havent tried pediasure. I will def get it though.

Re: Please tell me I am not a horrible mother!

You are not a horrible mother!
If he's a fan of liquids- maybe give him more than one glass of milk for the extra calories . Pediasure would probably be a good idea too. You can also try making him smoothies. My kids love these - I blend full fat yogurt, full fat milk and a bunch of fruit together. Really healthy and full of calories from the yogurt and milk.
Does he hav e any favorite foods?

Re: Please tell me I am not a horrible mother!

Re: Please tell me I am not a horrible mother!

Re: Please tell me I am not a horrible mother!

You are not a horrible mother

My DS is also a terrible eater and was diagnosed with "failure to thrive" because of poor weight gain. He hardly ever gets sick, so I don't think your doctor is right about that. It most likely has nothing to do with it. We get feeding and nutrition services through EI, so you may want to look into that to see if it could help you. I give my son pediasure in place of milk since it provides extra calories and the nutrients equivalent to a balanced diet. I also add butter, olive oil, and heavy cream to whatever food I can, to make every bite count.

Has his eating always been poor? Is he on the growth charts? Has is weight gain been OK in the past? Have you seen a GI specialist to make sure that there are no issues causing your DS not to want to eat. We started with that and ruled out medical reasons for his lack of appetite.

Message edited 5/23/2011 1:50:31 PM.

Re: Please tell me I am not a horrible mother!

Posted by Lola

You are not a horrible mother

My DS is also a terrible eater and was diagnosed with "failure to thrive" because of poor weight gain. He hardly ever gets sick, so I don't think your doctor is right about that. It most likely has nothing to do with it. We get feeding and nutrition services through EI, so you may want to look into that to see if it could help you. I give my son pediasure in place of milk since it provides extra calories and the nutrients equivalent to a balanced diet. I also add butter, olive oil, and heavy cream to whatever food I can, to make every bite count.

Has his eating always been poor? Is he on the growth charts? Has is weight gain been OK in the past? Have you seen a GI specialist to make sure that there are no issues causing your DS not to want to eat. We started with that and ruled out medical reasons for his lack of appetite.

Re: Please tell me I am not a horrible mother!

You are not a bad mom. You made the appt for the nutritionist to get this resolved.

Not sure if you ever tired this, it worked great for my sister. Her DS was a crappy eater and she would take frozen fruit, half a banana, splash of oj and make a smoothie out of it. He thought he was getting some sort of ice cream or dessert. When in fact he was getting his fruits for the day.

Re: Please tell me I am not a horrible mother!

Rj was born 3 weeks early at 8lbs; he was considered big for his term...

However it did not stay that way...he was NEVER a big eater, never nursed well, never took a full 8oz bottle, never liked baby food or "real" food for that matter...

His weight gains were always minimal, and he always fell in the 10th percentile for height/weight...

I did anything and everything to make him eat...it really made no difference... some kids are just small, and some just aren't big eaters...That is NOT why AJ is sick!!!!!!!

All I can say is that Rj was/is a grazer..meaning he likes several small meals or snacks/day vs. 3 meals at the kitchen table...

I would set out on a plate some snacks...maybe fruits or some turkey cheese and leave it out for him...let him come for it while he is hungry.... get it in however and whenever you can!

Also pediasure bars and drinks are great! Smoothies with carnation instant breakfast are also a good snack/meal...

Just begining this year does Rj sit at the kitchen table and eat a "normal" meal...

He was always the runt of the group, but this year he is average in comparison to the rest of the class...

Just be sure to give him his vitamins everyday, and dont force him to eat... He will eat when he is hungry- trust me! Try not to stress, because looking back- I stressed about it for years, and it changed nothing!

Re: Please tell me I am not a horrible mother!

Its not easy to get them to eat...

What about apple juice or grape juice instead of water?