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Pregnancy soon after birth?

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RainyDay
LIF Adult

Member since 6/15

3990 total posts

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Pregnancy soon after birth?

Anyone decide to get pregnant right after getting ok from Dr. After giving birth? Do you regret having kids so close in age? Looking for pros and cons


I just gave birth to my first 2 months ago and now DH and I keep going back and forth on when to try again.

Message edited 1/11/2017 2:24:44 PM.

Posted 1/11/17 2:23 PM
 
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MrsB612
LIF Adolescent

Member since 12/12

784 total posts

Name:

Pregnancy soon after birth?

My kids are 21 months apart, not on purpose. While there are several pros there are also cons like everything else. Running around and entertaining a 1 yr old while pregnant was exhausting! Also, my son was not very verbal when I came home with a newborn. There were LOTS of tantrums due to that and when combined with lack of sleep bc of a newborn made me really irritable. I’m fortunate that my MIL watches both of them bc if I had to put both of them in daycare I wouldn’t be able to wing it. Something to consider financially. I will say that since he was pretty young I didn’t sense any jealousy. He loves his sister very much and is very protective of her. There is no perfect age gap but I wish I would have waited another year. His communication is so much better now. Much more self sufficient. GL with your decision!

Posted 1/11/17 2:58 PM
 

ElizaRags35
My 2 Girls

Member since 2/09

20494 total posts

Name:
Me

Pregnancy soon after birth?

I got pregnant (unplanned) when my first was 9.5 months old. Ideally I would have waited longer in between kids to enjoy just having one child for awhile. Having 2, close in age (17.5 months apart), has been a struggle and it's been 16 months since my little one was born.

They do have an amazing bond and love each other but boy do I miss being able to just get one kid ready to go out.

Message edited 1/11/2017 9:59:10 PM.

Posted 1/11/17 3:58 PM
 

alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!

Member since 5/09

18388 total posts

Name:
Allison

Pregnancy soon after birth?

My coworker is having 3rd this week. 3 under 3. He says it's nuts but they are also going for #4 right away.

I think you just learn to deal with the chaos. I say go for it!

Posted 1/11/17 4:56 PM
 

MrsG823
Just call me Mommy.

Member since 1/11

5570 total posts

Name:
S

Pregnancy soon after birth?

I am one and done but at my 6 week post partum appointment my OB advised me to wait 12 months before trying to get pregnant again--she was convinced that once I experienced motherhood I would want a second ASAP.

Posted 1/11/17 6:30 PM
 

RainyDay
LIF Adult

Member since 6/15

3990 total posts

Name:

Re: Pregnancy soon after birth?

Posted by MrsG823

she was convinced that once I experienced motherhood I would want a second ASAP.



Haha well I never planned to have kids and ended up preggo. Now having experienced pregnancy and being a mom I definitely want one more. I would like to have them close in age but at the same time I'm nervous about how hectic it will be. On the other hand I don't want to wait 4 or 5 years and have to start all over with the diapers etc.

Posted 1/11/17 7:09 PM
 

phoenix913
LIF Adult

Member since 5/05

3034 total posts

Name:
V

Re: Pregnancy soon after birth?

It's really all personal preference. You kind of just get used to what you have.

That said, I have 3. DS1 and 2 are 2 years, 5 months apart and DS2 and 3 are 2 years, 9 months apart. So DS1 and 3 are a little more than 5 years apart.

Sometimes when I'm home with just my 5yo and the baby I think how nice it would have been to just have 2 with that distance apart (4-5 years). My 5yo is so helpful and is great with the baby. And since he's in kindy he has his own stuff going on with friends and activities.

My 3yo kind of complicates things because he's rough with the baby so they can't be in a room together alone AT ALL. He's still tantrumy and he's very needy for mommy.

However, I do love seeing them all bond and play together and the nice thing about the close age is my 3 and 5yo are into the same toys and things.

Posted 1/11/17 7:41 PM
 

LuckyStar
LIF Adult

Member since 7/14

7274 total posts

Name:

Re: Pregnancy soon after birth?

Posted by MrsG823

I am one and done but at my 6 week post partum appointment my OB advised me to wait 12 months before trying to get pregnant again--she was convinced that once I experienced motherhood I would want a second ASAP.



You are my spirit animal and this might be my favorite LIF post ever.

Posted 1/11/17 8:38 PM
 

Alexandra17
Keep It Positive

Member since 4/09

6262 total posts

Name:
Alexandra (ali)

Pregnancy soon after birth?

We waited until our son was 3 to start trying. Both of us say that we wish we had done it a bit sooner due to jealous feelings etc. If you are only two months postpartum, I would maybe wait another two months just to give your body a break. Good luck!

Posted 1/11/17 9:07 PM
 

Loveme
LIF Adult

Member since 6/11

3170 total posts

Name:
Me

Pregnancy soon after birth?

I have 3 years between my two and for us it's perfect. I couldn't even wrap my head around having another until my first was 2 years old.
I willl say my friend has two girls that are 16 months apart and the first two years were insane. But now at 5 and 4 they are the cutest things ever.

It's definitely a personal preference. The first few years will be nuts no matter how long you wait. But I'm sure it's nice to have them both at similar stages. I had to start all over again when my second was born.

Posted 1/11/17 9:41 PM
 

NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..

Member since 11/09

54921 total posts

Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!

Re: Pregnancy soon after birth?

6 years here and still waiting for the urge. Chat Icon

In all seriousness though- she was such a NIGHTMARE as a newborn that I questioned our deicision to have kids at all. That is honestly how bad it was. It was the worst. She never ever slept- screamed 24/7. Colic beyond belief.

If I had found myself pregnant during that time I would have been very very upset. I can't even imagine it

Message edited 1/12/2017 9:11:13 AM.

Posted 1/11/17 10:05 PM
 

EandF
LIF Adult

Member since 11/11

1674 total posts

Name:

Re: Pregnancy soon after birth?

My first two are 2 years apart. I am pregnant with #3 and two and three will be 20 mos apart. My oldest will be 4 a few mos after we have the baby, so I will have 3 under age 4 for a bit.

Not going to lie, it's rough. I thought with my oldest being only two when I had my second, she would be fine. Nope. Super jealous and I didn't enjoy my maternity leave much. Now DS is 17 mos and he is into everything, including following his older sister around as they both get in trouble! They are both a handful and I seriously wonder how I make it through the days. I'm starting to get nervous with the third coming. I know the first few years will be rough, but I already see how quickly it's going.

We had ours close together bc we're older and didn't want to wait. They were all planned but the third was literally lets just start trying and it unexpectedly happened the first month. If I was younger, I would've probably spaced out about 2 1/2 years bet kids. But I like that they will all be close in age and I'm hoping that it will make them have tight knit relationships.

Posted 1/11/17 10:25 PM
 

Katareen
5,000 Posts!

Member since 4/10

7180 total posts

Name:
Katherine

Pregnancy soon after birth?

In my experience, babies from 0-2 years require so much care, attention, supervision, affection that I would've felt guilty not giving each child their own time as the "baby".

Posted 1/12/17 1:54 AM
 

MrsS2005
Mom of 3

Member since 11/05

13118 total posts

Name:
B

Re: Pregnancy soon after birth?

Every age difference has its positives and negatives. Personally I never wanted kids close in age. DS1 was a really tough baby mostly with sleeping. He couldn't be put down for the first 6 months. I knew I wanted more kids eventually, but it took me a long time before I could start thinking about TTC again. My boys are 3.5 years apart. DS1 was so much easier once he was a toddler. There were no jealousy issues at all. He had potty trained right around the time I got pregnant and I was glad to not have 2 in diapers. DS2 was a very easy baby, but has been challenging since he was a toddler.

If things work out, #3 will be 5 years younger than DS2. It will be nice to only have 1 in FT daycare. My boys are old enough to understand if I need to take care of the baby's needs and can also help out. Both of them adore babies. I'm hoping DS2's behavior will improve as he gets older. There are glimmers of hope, but he still gives us a run for our money right now. I couldn't imagine dealing with a baby and DS2 during his 2 or 3 year old stages. Some of my friends have had equally challenging kids with siblings much closer in age and they have had a really tough time. It's a little scary to start over again and the idea of being done with FT daycare payments was so nice. However, I'm really looking forward to adding the missing piece to our family.

Posted 1/12/17 6:31 AM
 

drpepper318
MIR MIR MIR!

Member since 6/07

8274 total posts

Name:
me

Re: Pregnancy soon after birth?

My first 2 are 21 months apart and my next will be 23 months after so I will be having 2 under 2 again. I like having them close in age , in fact if I could have , I would have had them even closer, but I don't become fertile while still breastfeeding so had to wait for that to be done each time, then got pregnant the first month I got my period back. I feel it's hard to handle when they're little but as they grow up it's so nice for them to have siblings close in age to go to school with, play with, etc. and as my kids approached their first birthday I really start feeling the baby fever again and miss having a newborn!! Plus getting older I feel an urgency and I've heard you're most fertile right after giving birth or breastfeeding, so we figure let's take advantage of that and try right away.

Posted 1/12/17 8:20 AM
 

Momma2015
Mommax2

Member since 12/12

6656 total posts

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Re: Pregnancy soon after birth?

DD is almost 9 months and if I got pregnant now I think I'd be really upset at first. I want to enjoy her time as a baby and wait until she's a little more independent to even think about getting pregnant. I think by the time she's 2 I'll want to try again. But now, no thank you!

ETA: Also, we're not in a place financially where I'd be comfortable to have a second. We pay through the nose for daycare and just purchased our home. I think down the line we'll need to consider a nanny for our second unless DD is already in school. And even then it'll take some finagling to work out the logistics.

Message edited 1/12/2017 8:41:37 AM.

Posted 1/12/17 8:39 AM
 

Mommyx03
LIF Infant

Member since 5/15

283 total posts

Name:

Pregnancy soon after birth?

My first 2 are 14 months apart. It wasn't planned and I was terrified my whole pregnancy. DS was a really good baby and a champion sleeper so being pregnant with a one year old wasn't too bad. When DD was born it was hard. I had 2 babies. My DS still didn't feed himself and hated to eat. So most days I would sit feeding the baby her bottle and feeding him in his high chair. It was hard for a few months, but it got easier and now at 3 and 4 I love that they are so close in age! They are best friends and play together all the time. If I could do it over again I would have them that close again. I have another DD and she is 2 years younger than my 2nd DD. That was an easier age gap. She was much more independent at that age. Time will tell if they will be as close as DS and DD. She's only 1.

Posted 1/12/17 10:03 AM
 

Chai77
Brighter days ahead

Member since 4/07

7364 total posts

Name:

Re: Pregnancy soon after birth?

It think it's probably doable. My brother and I are 21 months apart. I think it is hard in the beginning with two babies and two in diapers etc, but then actually easier as they get older because they are at similar levels and have similar interests. My brother and I were very close growing up, which is really special I think.

My babies are spaced apart 2.10 and 4.5 years. I did not have the energy to handle them much closer. I have terrible sleepers, so I just didn't have it in me.

I know we had our DD's around the same time! Good luck with whatever you decide.

Posted 1/12/17 10:09 AM
 

AngnShaun
Sisters

Member since 1/10

21015 total posts

Name:
Ang

Pregnancy soon after birth?

my sisters kids are 16m apart. She loved it.

Ive done a cake smash and a newborn session one month apart for siblings.

My girls are 3 years apart and i loved it because Hailey could be independent and do things without me while i took care of the baby....

theres no right answer.

Message edited 1/12/2017 10:12:36 AM.

Posted 1/12/17 10:12 AM
 

PitterPatter11
Baby Boy is Here!

Member since 5/11

7619 total posts

Name:
Momma <3

Pregnancy soon after birth?

My sisters 2 DDs are 18 months apart. She's currently pregnant with #3 and they'll be 23 months apart.

I think she's crazy but some people are amazing with newborns - me not so much!

Posted 1/12/17 1:22 PM
 

bunnyluck
LIF Adult

Member since 1/14

3196 total posts

Name:

Pregnancy soon after birth?

My boys are 18 months apart. Not planned. I was so nervous during the pregnancy but it's honestly been the best thing ever. Have two under two isn't bad at all, you're already in the baby mode so nothing really changes. I can already tell they are going to be best friends. It's great that they'll be in basically the same stages growing up. I love how they'll play on the same teams and only be one grade level apart. Also I save a ton of money on gear and "stuff" which is an added bonus. I think it depends on your personality too. I don't think everyone could handle it. I've realized you really have to be OK with not being perfect and just being the best you can be everyday. I very much go with the flow these days and really don't sweat the minor challenges. If my kids are fed and mostly happy, I've done my job for the day. My house is ALWAYS a mess although I am constantly cleaning, we order takeout way too often and we probably do about 36 loads of laundry a week hahaha. And I drink a ton of coffee (and wine, lots of wine haha)!

Posted 1/12/17 5:05 PM
 

MrsG823
Just call me Mommy.

Member since 1/11

5570 total posts

Name:
S

Re: Pregnancy soon after birth?

Posted by LuckyStar

Posted by MrsG823

I am one and done but at my 6 week post partum appointment my OB advised me to wait 12 months before trying to get pregnant again--she was convinced that once I experienced motherhood I would want a second ASAP.



You are my spirit animal and this might be my favorite LIF post ever.



Chat Icon

Posted 1/12/17 6:14 PM
 

IVFmiracle
Complete

Member since 12/12

4088 total posts

Name:

Re: Pregnancy soon after birth?

It could go so many different ways. My girlfriend has Irish twins and loves having kids close in age but she says there is a lot of competition between them and they fight a lot. Another girlfriend has twins and they are the best of friends.

My girls are 3 years apart and my older daughter isn't particularly interested in her sister but we are still in the newborn stage. I was talking to a friend of mine the other day who has girls 3 years apart and from day 1, the older sister wanted to help with everything. Diaper changes, feeding, bathing her and is constantly loving on her. When I ask my DD if she wants to hold her sister she usually says "No thanks".
From a parenting prospective, I wish they were closer in age. I would have liked a 2 year age gap, tops but I am grateful for what I have.

Posted 1/12/17 6:28 PM
 

MrsDrMatt
Live and RUN like a Ninja!

Member since 5/06

3104 total posts

Name:
MrsDrMatt

Re: Pregnancy soon after birth?

I had 3 kids in 13 months. My first dd then identical twin girls 13 months later. the first couple of years was hard..... but now they are 8 and 7 and my life is so easy! They do everything together and are at the same point in their physical, social and emotional development.

Posted 1/13/17 11:11 AM
 

MrsO
Big Brothers to Be

Member since 1/07

4521 total posts

Name:
Maureen

Re: Pregnancy soon after birth?

My 1st 2 are 14 months apart. In the beginning it was a little challenging but it was great because they were pretty much in the same phases at all times. I feel if there is a large gap it is like starting all over again.

Posted 1/16/17 4:56 PM
 
Pages: [1] 2
 

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