Pregnant for the first time at 43 and very scared!

Hello everyone, I'm a new member of this forum and hoping to get some advice and support. I'm 43 and currently 6 weeks pregnant. This is my first pregnancy and I'm quite worried about many things. Hubby, who is 40, is even more worried. He read several articles stating that men 35 and over are more likely to father children with autism and schizophrenia. In addition, with my advanced age there is also greater risk of Down's syndrome and other abnormalities.

I feel we were very lucky in easily conceiving, with no medical help, considering there are so many who struggle with infertility issues. But, will our luck hold out? Instead of enjoying this pregnancy, we are constantly talking about and stressing all the "what if's".... We just aren't emotionally very strong :(

My question to all you experienced mothers is: during what month would my ob/gyn test for any possible defects or abnormalities? Are the current tests used fairly accurate? I've read that there is no current test for autism, is this correct?

Thank you for taking the time to read my post, and for any advice you can offer!

Pregnant for the first time at 43 and very scared!

Congrats! My friend is 43 and her baby just turned 5 months today and is perfect! At 10 weeks you can take the MaterniT21 which will answer most of your questions. I am 35 and when the results came back I had the same risks as a 20 year old. As far as I know there is no test for autism. Try to sit back and enjoy the pregnancy. I am 37 weeks and it flies.

Re: Pregnant for the first time at 43 and very scared!

Being pregnant is nerve wracking at any age so you are not alone but I can understand how you might be a bit more nervous. Try to remind yourself that women have successful pregnancies well into their 40's everyday. You are going to be fine and just keep reminding yourself of that. I pray every day that I have a healthy pregnancy and baby, I also do positive affirmations. Its my way of projecting out good energy towards my pregnancy because I do get anxious at times since I had a miscarriage.

I wish you all the best, try to relax as best you can.

Re: Pregnant for the first time at 43 and very scared!

Pregnant for the first time at 43 and very scared!

Congratulations! Now try to relax. Stress is not good for your or your baby. Usually genetic testing and screening for trisomy 13, 18 and 21 are done around 12 weeks. There are two different type of screens that can be done at this time-there is the traditional screen that tests hormone levels in your blood or there are newer screens, like the Maternit21 test that tests fetal DNA in your blood. Both tests are considered screens and are not diagnostic meaning you could test negative or have low odds for the disease screened for yet the baby could potentially have the disease. You may want to consider meeting with a genetic counselor. Did you have any genetic testing done before conceiving to see if you were a carrier for any common genetic diseases? A genetic counselor may recommend that you are tested.
Talk to your OB and see what they recommend.

Pregnant for the first time at 43 and very scared!

CONRATULATIONS ! My husband is 37 and I'm 43 we just had a baby girl who just turned 1 year and all is fine. My results also as said above came back the same of a 20 year old. I have 2 older kids from before, but She is his first baby, and we are currently trying for another one, and then Im done.... relax odds are still in your favor , even with advanced maternal age factor :)

Re: Pregnant for the first time at 43 and very scared!

Congrats!. Im Going to be 42 next month and I am 4.5 mo pregnant. Mine was not natural conception but I still run the risk of these things as well.
There are plenty of babies that are born at an advanced age (as they call us) that are just perfectly fine.
My aunt thought she had the flu but at 42 she had a strong beautiful boy who is perfect and 13 now and very intelligent.

they start testing at 12 weeks. I did the Verify test that is the same as the Maternity21. They can even tell the sex.
I dont think you are alone being your age, in your 30s or your 20s you are going to worry about everything and anything. It starts now and continues when they are born.

Re: Pregnant for the first time at 43 and very scared!

I had my first at 36- DH was 40.
Yes, it's a bit scary, but we just made sure to have all the tests offered for our own piece of mine.
I had an amnio at around 16 weeks I think because we both wanted to know with 100% certainty what we were facing.
I didn't want just percentages that some of the other tests offer.
I think now though, they have a new test that is less invasive than an amnio and tests for many genetic issues- but i am not sure what it is called and when they give it etc.
Once I got the results of the amnio back and all was well, I was able to go on and enjoy the rest of my pregnancy.
My DD is now 3 and a very healthy, happy and smart child who is 100% perfect.
I know it's hard, and scary, but just take everything one step at a time and try not to worry about the what ifs. If you start thinking abuot everything that could go wrong, you will drive yourself insane.
Your dr will work with you to figure out what tests you need, they are on top of everything!

Pregnant for the first time at 43 and very scared!

Congratulations! After you meet with your OB to confirm pregnancy, I would highly recommend meeting with a genetic counselor. They will discuss with you the many options for testing. They range from non-invasive screening tests (they give you a probability of chromosomal abnormality) to more invasive tests that you will give you a clear cut yes or no. I just met with one yesterday at 10 weeks and I found it very helpful. No reason to be nervous! Good Luck!