Preparing Meals for DH:

Background: we are living with my in-laws until DH is done with med-school b/c, while in school; we cannot afford to live on our own yet on top of the tuition. So, we have a separate living space and it’s pretty big and nice (fine) but no separate kitchen (not a big deal- we just share w/ his parents).

OK, so on to my question: Should I be “required” to make Vinny lunch and dinner every single day? I mean, I’m all about trying to be a good wife but I work just as much as he does and we both have very hectic schedules… And, even if I didn’t: is it a wife’s “job” to prepare lunch for him and cook for him? Am I a “bad” wife if I don’t?

How many of you send your DH’s off with lunch everyday all packed up like they are in third grade and how many of you make sure that dinner is waiting for him when he gets home each night? Just curious b/c if I don’t make lunch everyday for him then his Mom will go ahead and make it and leave it for him… Same with dinner and I heard her mention at a family party once that she has to basically pick up my “slack”.

Are we still in the 1950’s?

Re: Preparing Meals for DH:

Um, what???? No. Maybe it would be nice to do it every once in awhile, but there is no way I would make DH's lunch and dinner everyday! He should really be able to fend for himself for lunch...

Re: Preparing Meals for DH:

I do not make lunch for DH ever but he doesn't bring lunch from home. As for dinner, we both get home around the same time from work and then decide together what to have. If we cook, he helps.

Re: Preparing Meals for DH:

I never make him lunch. If I packed a lunch for DH, he'd give me a look of, "Is this a trick?"

He's home once a week for dinner(mine's in law school). I try to have dinner ready so that we can eat together but if it's not, then he'll cook. But he's done the same for me while on one of his breaks.

Re: Preparing Meals for DH:

DH does all the cooking (or at least 98% of it), and he's the one who makes my lunch. My MIL rolls her eyes, but it just fits better with our schedules for him to take on most of the housework responsibilities right now.

Re: Preparing Meals for DH:

To me this is a no-win situation.

1- he is a big boy & is more than capable of making his own lunch.

2 - I would not feel comfortable utilizing her kitchen so much, even though I live there.

3- regarding dinner I might offer to make it all the time but not everyday. With you sharing the kitchen this would become a "too close for comfort" thing very quickly IMO.

On a side note, I think it is tacky that she said to a family member that she is picking up your slack. Not cool, and who is she to define your marriage/relationship!

Re: Preparing Meals for DH:

Re: Preparing Meals for DH:

I have in the past made lunch for my dh but now he is on the road alot so he will pick something up or they will all get lunch together.
I have always made dinner so I don't see a problem with that. If I need help, I ask him to make it for me but I don't have a problem with it. We both get home about the same time so I never have anything ready for him. I usually start cooking when he gets home if I am not working.

Re: Preparing Meals for DH:

DH makes his own lunch every night. I usually end up taking leftover dinner for my own lunch.

I think "requiring" a wife to make her husband lunch is a bit too old school. Wanting to do it and having to do it are IMO two different things.

Re: Preparing Meals for DH:

Message edited 4/12/2007 1:37:38 PM.

Re: Preparing Meals for DH:

Re: Preparing Meals for DH:

I do not make him lunch...but I do make him dinner everynight. I enjoy doing it b/c to me cooking is one of my favorite hobbies. It doesn't bother me at all. I love it. I grew up watching my mom cook dinner and desert from scratch everynight for my dad and I guess I picked it up from her. I love looking for new recipes and trying new things out. I love food shopping and looking for new ingredients and stuff like that, but that is just me. Plus, DH can't cook at all, when he does things go on fire, so we are better off with this arrangement for now

Re: Preparing Meals for DH:

Re: Preparing Meals for DH:

I do not make Dh his lunch- EVER- but he has his lunch paid for by his job-but even before that, I would not make him his lunch- Sometimes if we had leftovers I would put it in a tubberware for him- but that's it!

Dinner- I make dinner-although there have been plenty of times where DH makes dinner too- right now with dhs job- we go out to eat a lot

Re: Preparing Meals for DH:

I will pack a lunch for DH b/c most nights he is working on renovating our house, and I'd feel bad making him do that after spending hours doing physical labor. As far as dinner goes, we usually split that task - we figure out that evening who is "in the mood" to cook and if neither of us are we'll make soup & sandwiches or order in.

When both people have jobs, I see no reason why the wife should be in charge of the meals. If one of us was home all day, I would think that person could be the main meal preparer.

Re: Preparing Meals for DH:

Posted by Snozberry
We said love, honor, cherish - not pack your lunch and wipe your azz.

Re: Preparing Meals for DH:

I cook dinner basically every night. if there are leftovers, he can take them for lunch. sometimes I'll pack it while I am cleaning up from dinner. sometimes he'll do it in the morning.

my MIL lives with us too, and i know she probably thinks I don't do enough for her baby...she still does his laundry b/c I won't do it, and if I mention to her that I want HIM to do something (ie take out the garbage) she'll do it instead.

sometimes I laugh, though if I am already pissy it does annoy me.

there is almost nothing you can do about it. they want to make sure their boys are well taken care of.

well, you could chase him around the house with food in one hand and a washcloth in the other.....

Re: Preparing Meals for DH:

Posted by MsMBV

Posted by Snozberry
We said love, honor, cherish - not pack your lunch and wipe your azz.

OMG you rock

Re: Preparing Meals for DH:

Re: Preparing Meals for DH:

Holy crap!

Make his lunch and dinner? As her if she wants him to breast feed as well.

We both work 50-70 hrs a week. Ain't happening. Also, let's see her do that and make lunches and dinners. Betcha she shuts up after that.

Re: Preparing Meals for DH:

um.... that is insane.

I get people asking me about dinner and stuff too-- DH gets home AT LEAST 1.5 to 2 hours before me... I work longer hours than him and MY job is more stressful.. if anything, he should be making me dinner.

We make our own lunches and usually cook our own dinners (we eat different things)...

It's 2007 and I don't give a crap what sex you are-- you do what is right for your relationship and in this day and age, it's rarely about a woman serving her man.

Re: Preparing Meals for DH:

Re: Preparing Meals for DH:

I only make lunch for FH if I'm making it for myself. FH has dinner waiting on the table for ME when I get home at night

I dont' think it's a job requirement, you are not June Cleaver and this is not 1955. I think your MIL was out of line saying what she said and is out of line making his meals for him like he's a child.

Re: Preparing Meals for DH:

I pack DH his lunch every night but not because I am required to do it. For saving purposes, we both take lunch to work. After cleaning up from dinner, I make it a point to make my lunch for the next day along with DH's! When I have been sick or away, DH is more then capable of making his own. I do it because I want to do it!

When it comes to dinner, I cook on Tuesday nights & dinner is ready when my husband comes home. We usually will have leftovers for the rest of the week. DH is in the food business & can come home any night of the week with something to cook up. In that case, he will do the cooking. He does not expect a new meal every night. Again I do the cooking because i want to do it.

Saying it is the 1950's I think is a little over the top. I know in our case, I do what works for us. I do work a full time job but I am home at least 3 hours before DH. Our relationship is not based on "MUST" be dones. We do whatever we both can to help the other out. So if that means, I take an extra 5 minutes a night to make sure he has lunch, I do it. Same goes for dinner. I would much rather cook a meal every night then go out & spend it on fast food. It truly comes down to a personal preference. JHMO

Re: Preparing Meals for DH:

umm excuse me, but does your MIL work? if not, she needs to shut her pie hole!