Ques regarding family access to your home

My In Laws live about 6 blocks away from us. DH has mentioned a few times that we should give them a spare set of keys. I am not ok w/this b/c I think they have been too involved in our lives in the past and want boundaries set.

We just had a situation occur where them having extra keys would of made our lives easier....so now I am thinking maybe we should give them a set.

If your In Laws do have a set, how is it working out? Are lines crossed?

Re: Ques regarding family access to your home

my mom has an extra set because some days she'll pick up DS for me from daycare. she lives in the next town from me. my FIL also has a set because him or my SMIL will also pick up DS when they feel like it. its always good for someone to have an extra set. as long as you set boundaries. like they all know they cant just come in anytime they want for no reason.

Re: Ques regarding family access to your home

My mom has keys to our place.

It's come in handy when I locked myself accidentally.

Re: Ques regarding family access to your home

Only my parents had a set but my parents are NOT obtrusive AT ALL.. if they EVER had to go to my house (which was usually at MY or my ex's request), they would call to tell me when they were going and they would call me when they got there, went in and right out and then called me when they left..

If that's the case and let's say you need to have a set of keys in case you get locked out, I'd plant it somewhere in your yard or somewhere.. but I wouldn't feel comfortable giving keys out to anyone that I already had an issue with (in your case your ILs)..

Re: Ques regarding family access to your home

They used to have a set of keys to our house. I was wary at first, too, but DH let them know that it wasn't an open invitation to pop in whenever. They never abused it as far as we know and it did come in handy when DH lost his house keys. We haven't gotten around to making them another spare set and it's been about a year. Whoops.

Re: Ques regarding family access to your home

My mom & brother each have a key.

IL's do not.

Re: Ques regarding family access to your home

When we lived in NY, noone had a set of keys to our apartment. Not because we didn't want them to have it, we just never thought to give it to them.

Re: Ques regarding family access to your home

No, they don't have keys to our place, but I imagine that when DD comes this might change.

Re: Ques regarding family access to your home

I have keys to my parent's & brother's houses & they have keys to mine...simple rules..if someone is home..knock...do not use the key...never been a problem.

Re: Ques regarding family access to your home

Ils have keys - they live about 2 miles from us.

It hasn't caused any issues - they are respectful of our space and there have been times that we've needed them to enter the house.

Re: Ques regarding family access to your home

My parents also live very close and they have a set, so does my sister.

We have needed their set on more then one occasion.

They do go to our house when we are not there, but they always call me and let me know before hand.

When ILs come to visit and stay with us, we give them a spare too so they can come and go as they please.

Message edited 2/4/2011 1:12:12 PM.

Re: Ques regarding family access to your home

My ILs & my parents have a set. My ILs are in FL so it's really not an issue.

My mom drops stuff off for me from Costco, etc. but she's always called before to ask if it was ok or if I want to pick up at her house. My DH may be annoyed to come home to a box in the kitchen but the alternative is running out at night to get stuff which no one wants to do after a long day.

Re: Ques regarding family access to your home

Actually, a lot of people have the key to our house. IL's, SIl, BIL, family OOS, and a few friends. It doesn't bother us that they have it. It has come in handy more times than I can count! They know the rules

Re: Ques regarding family access to your home

My parents have a set because they live closer. ILs don't.

Re: Ques regarding family access to your home

My inlaws have keys they live about 15 minutes away.

Re: Ques regarding family access to your home

Both sets have keys.

We have zero issues.

We have an alarm and my ILs are afraid of it so they never come into our home when we're not there. My mom's not really mobile so no issue with her either.

When we're on vacation and our ILs collect the mail, they put it in our garage.

Re: Ques regarding family access to your home

MY parents ahve keys - they never impose. IT works out great when I need someone to run over or if my dad is not working that day he will go over and do work on the house that I need.
It depends o you though if you think they would abuse it then I wouldn't give them a set - maybe hide a spare in the garage or something? That way if you have an emergency that you need them there you can tell them where the key is

Re: Ques regarding family access to your home

Both my parents and my inlaws have keys to my house, however, they all live over an hour away so I don't have to worry about someone just stopping by unannounced. I set up those ground rules from the get go and thankfully, everyone is extremely accommodating. I have keys to my parents house and DH has keys to his parents house. If everyone gets along I think it's a good thing to have in case of an emergency.

Re: Ques regarding family access to your home

My parents, my bf's parents, and my best friend have keys. My brother and his wife will have a set too.

My parents and brother are in the neighborhood so that is handy when we get locked out. My friend has one bc she puppy sits. And my bf's parents have one so when they come to visit and run out they don't have to "bother" me to let them in (I WFH)

No one would just walk in unannounced though.

Re: Ques regarding family access to your home

my inlaws have keys. considering FIL owns the building, i think he is more than entitled to have a key!

if my parents lived near, they'd have one. come to think of it, we need to get my SIL's keys. they are here usually at some point, and since we live on a 2nd floor with no doorbell, probably a good thing to do.

Re: Ques regarding family access to your home

Since we live in one of my parents apartments, my dad has keys to the apartment. However, he knows that DH & I are both very private people & in the last 5 years, he has never used the key to enter the apartment. He always calls first & then rings the bell.

It was really great when we where on our honeymoon & my mom went into the apartment & did some cleaning for us. She also did all of our laundry & organzied all of our mail.

Re: Ques regarding family access to your home

Nope. We have a combination lock box outdoors. If we ever get locked out, there is a spare set of keys. If there is an emergency and we need my parents to get in, we can give them the code. And the code is easily changed.

ETA -- My parents and ILs aren't intrusive, though, so I wouldn't hesitate to give them a set of keys. I just much prefer the above situation. I don't want to rely on anyone else if I am locked out.

Message edited 2/4/2011 1:41:54 PM.

Re: Ques regarding family access to your home

My MIL lives in our town and I was afraid that if she had a key she would just come into our home when she wanted. I couldn't have been more wrong. Both my MIL and parents (who live in Queens) have keys and are very respectful. It's in case of emergency and that's it.

ETS: I have my old house keys still and I have the keys to my MIL's house so there really isn't much of a difference giving them sets to our house.

Message edited 2/4/2011 1:55:56 PM.

Re: Ques regarding family access to your home

No none of them do but even if they tried security calls us when guests come over so they wouldn't be able to just come in or knock on our door.

Re: Ques regarding family access to your home

neither of our parents have keys... but my sister lives 3 blocks away and she has keys and Shauns cousins live 3 houses away and they have the key...

also our landlord lives on my sisters block and he also has the key