Question: the how (and how much) of Christmas teacher gifts from class

DS is in Catholic nursery school (three-year olds). 21 kids, 1 teacher and 1 assistant. Don’t get me started on the student-teacher ratio. However, I think the teachers do an amazing job considering the circumstances (which I think the principal put them in).

Today, I received an e-mail from the class mother asking for money for Christmas gifts for the teachers. She is asking for $20 from each student.

Here are my questions:

Do you think $20 is too much? That comes to roughly $200 per teacher, which I think is a lot. I’m not inclined to say something about it, but I’m wondering what other posters are contributing or have contributed.

Also is it too much to expect the class mother to provide details of the gift? She just said “gift cards” in her e-mail. She didn’t include what store the cards would be from, whether she plans to give the teacher’s assistant the same amount as the teacher, etc. Is it wrong of me to ask? I hate to be “that mother” – I realize this is something the class mom is volunteering to do.

I’ve already gotten into it with her in October – she asked that we send a note through school to volunteer to bring items for the various class celebrations. I volunteered (the day she asked) to bring Halloween cups/plates/napkins/utensils.

The weekend before the party rolled around, I had not heard from her, so I bought the stuff. Imagine my surprise when on Tuesday (party was Thursday), I get a letter from her in DS’ folder that says: “I thank the following parents for offering to bring the following items…” And someone else was apparently bringing the plates etc.

So I call her and ask what happened – did she get my note? “Oh yeah... Someone else said she wanted to bring it…” Fine. I asked her in the future to contact me and let me know as I had already bought the stuff (which was $20, by the way). She was completely unapologetic. I wasn’t nasty, I just stated I wanted to be kept informed.

I now get dirty looks from her at pick up.

We are constantly being bombarded with requests for fundraisers from the school, or money to buy this or that for the class. I'm not going to lie -- we can more than afford it. But I think there's a lack of sensitivity here. I value my money. I think what I’m expecting in general is common courtesy.

Re: Question: the how (and how much) of Christmas teacher gifts from class

In my experience that amount and not knowing where the gc is to is normal. Some years I ask, some I don't, it depends on my relationship with the person collecting the money. In this case I'd probably not ask, or ask another parent if they'd heard where the gc was going to be from.

Message edited 12/10/2010 2:08:11 PM.

Re: Question: the how (and how much) of Christmas teacher gifts from class

Please don't quote....

I'll answer the best I can... since I happen to be the Class Mother (along with another mom) to my DD's preK class, which is also at a Catholic school!

We did send a letter out earlier this year asking for contributions to a Christmas gift for both the main teacher (a nun) and the assistant. We did not indicate what amount, nor did we word it where people felt obligated (totally optional).

I will say that the parents in my DD's class are beyond generous... For the main teacher, most gave $30, while there were some that gave $15-20 and some that gave $50 (yep!). The money for the assistant was along the same lines, maybe $5-10 less than they gave for the main teacher. Not all gave, but most did.

We have not told the parents yet what we are going to be doing, but since we have decided (Amex gift card in a Very Bradley wallet), we will be emailing each parent to let them know and thank them for their contribution.

We also passed out a sign up sheet for contributions to the holiday parties so only 1 person could sign up for each slot, and then once we had all sign-ups filled, we emailed it to everyone so there was no confusion as to who was bringing what to each party. We kept is simple so that one person would bring plates, another cups, another apple juice, another the snack, another the napkins, etc. That way, for the 13 students, it wasn't a monetary burden to contribute something (I got a pack of napkins for their Thanksgiving party and it only cost me $1.29).

I hope I answered your questions. I will say as a class mom, I welcome ANY and all questions and comments. I have a really wonderful class and the parents are amazingly generous and very accommodating.

Re: Question: the how (and how much) of Christmas teacher gifts from class

In my catholic school where I teach they collect $10 from e/ student in the school (N-8) & then we get $100 (head teacher) or $50 for the assts.

Some parents also buy individual gifts for us.

In DD's nursery school they collected $15 for the 3 teachers.

Message edited 12/11/2010 6:59:53 PM.

Re: Question: the how (and how much) of Christmas teacher gifts from class

My son goes to public school and it was suggested by calss parents that we each donate $20, OR as much as we would like. I am happy with his teacher so gave $20, even though I did think it was a bit much considering there are 23 kids in his class. There is also an assistant though, I wonder is some if it will go towards her. I am not sure...

Re: Question: the how (and how much) of Christmas teacher gifts from class

I am class mom for my DD's kindergarten class. We are only allowed to ask for $10 each child which is split between the teacher and aide. I did tell how much would go for each but not what kind of gift card we are geting. All the parents have my email and phone number and not one has inquired.

This is my first year with a school aged child but I am told most people get another gift for the teacher anyway.

Re: Question: the how (and how much) of Christmas teacher gifts from class

Catholic school and we are asked $10 for main teacher, $5 for assistant. We are also asked for money for the principal, secretary, and the teachers that don't have a set class ( gym, computer, library, language, etc).

They usually do not tell you what it is going for. Sometimes it is put in form of a gift card ( visa or american express), sometimes cash.

MANY parents don't feel the $10 is enough so they will send in more OR contribute the $10 and then buy a separate gift card and give that on their own.
I think the school feels bad asking for more because if you donate to everyone on the list that they ask for its over $50.

Re: Question: the how (and how much) of Christmas teacher gifts from class

both my son's are in public school and i just got the amount they both want...each kid i have to send in $40!!!!!!! yes $40!!!!!!! so that's $80 all together!!!!! it's just crazy!

Re: Question: the how (and how much) of Christmas teacher gifts from class

My DS's kindergarten class is collecting $10 per student ( $7 towards teacher $3 towards the aide)

I "personally" feel that its a little bit on the cheap side, so I am going to get a little something on the side from my DS

Re: Question: the how (and how much) of Christmas teacher gifts from class

DD is in 1st grade in a public school and class moms are collecting $7, yes $7 per student. I feel this is a completely random amount and of course I feel compelled to also buy a gift on my own. I would have felt better sending in $10 or $15 but $7 is just odd!

I will also send in a gift w/ a value of $20 b/c I don't feel "right" just spending $7 on anyone for the holidays!!

Re: Question: the how (and how much) of Christmas teacher gifts from class

I am head clss parent for Jacob's kindergarten class. We are a blended class so we have 2 head teachers and 1 assistant. We asked for $25 - 10 per head and 5 for the assistant in the email we must say that you can give the suggested or whatever you feel comfortable giving. We will be getting gift cards and I will send out an email as to what we have purchased. We also have to sign the card from the entire class even if someone does not give

I am also giving on my own the head teachers each $25 and the assistant an extra $20 gc. They are fantastic teachers and I feel they deserve more.

Re: Question: the how (and how much) of Christmas teacher gifts from class

Message edited 12/12/2010 12:09:21 PM.

Re: Question: the how (and how much) of Christmas teacher gifts from class

I would ask what the GC amount is and where it's too. You have a right to know where your money is going if you are contributing to the gift. I also think $200 for a class gift is VERY generous. But I guess by some of the posts I've read my idea of generous is different than most. The poster that said $7 per student wasn't enough. 20 students times $7, I think that is a generous gift.

Re: Question: the how (and how much) of Christmas teacher gifts from class

Re: Question: the how (and how much) of Christmas teacher gifts from class

Message edited 12/13/2010 5:49:58 AM.

Re: Question: the how (and how much) of Christmas teacher gifts from class

For DD's class 1 teacher 1 assistant it was $25. It was getting split $15 for teacher and $10 for assistant. They are getting gift cards.

For DS's class it was $20 total. I am not sure how it is getting split but I think it is $15 and $5 or it might be $10 and $10 because the assistant really does a lot.

For both classes it wasn't mandatory but most give because it is easy. Each class has 16 kids .

I really don't think $20 is a lot to ask. If you do not feel comfortable for way everything is being handled I would just let her know you plan on getting something else.