SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

I wonder if anyone else feels this way. I feel so stagnant. I feel like I can't get anything done all day, other than cook for, feed, play with and take care of my DD.

I sort of feel like everything in my old life is so different now and it's frustrating. I want to get organized in my home but I just can't find the time. Even when DD is finally sleeping or with DH, I need some time to unwind and just be alone....hard to start chores, tasks, etc.

I love my DD so much but I feel like everything else is in shambles. I used to be so organized and now I feel like it's all a mess. It's driving me crazy that even though I am in my HOME all day, it's almost impossible to get organized or get too much done.

Anyone can relate?

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

I feel exactly the same way, except for the fact when they are sleeping, I am working. Naps and nightime.
I cant get ANYTHING done. I do the laundry, but don't have any time to put it away, so the PNP and two laundry baskets are filled up with clean clothes. I have to dig through them to find things for us to wear. Many days I don't even get out of my pajamas. I used to care so much about that stuff - and always swore I'd never become the mom who didn't do anything about her appearance - and now have become that person. It has made me so unhappy.

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

I can sympathize but I promise you it will get better. She will be able to amuse herself at some point and you can tackle things you need to do.

For now, I would suggest putting her in the high chair with some cheerios and just doing whatever you need to do. That's what I do when I have DD here and just need to get something done.

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

I can definitely relate. It took some time for me to get used to my new life, get into a groove/routine, and feel like I was on top of things.

When I was working, there were tangible accomplishments that I had, but your new day will develop a rhythm of its own.

Now, I take pride in every little thing I do manage to get done. I love making lists, even with minor tasks, so I can cross them off

I have been home almost a year now. Of course, now that I feel good, my world will get rocked again when DS #2 arrives in May

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

For me, the captivity of winter really affects my ability to be productive. I'm in a complete funk due to being trapped in my house all winter. The kids get bored, I seem to get nothing done beyond the basics.

Once the weather warms up and we can get outside we are all much more productive. Otherwise, its just like living the movie groundhog day!

Hang in there!

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

Yes. I can relate. There are days when all I do is lay around with the kids and then there are days when I'm superwoman.
First things first. Take care of yourself. Take a shower, get dressed, put a little makeup on...this will make you feel like you're a little more put together. If I'm in sweats all day long, I feel like crap and I do nothing.
Try to create a schedule for yourself where you do certain tasks on certains days. Break it up over the week so you're not killing yourself all day to do the laundry or clean the house.
Also try to make easy meals so you're not in the kitchen for a long time. I like to defrost the food the night before and then prepare the meal early to only pop it in the oven later for dinner.

We all go through this...I'm having an off day today...sink full of dishes, some laundry piled up...but I got out in the snow today with my oldest ds, so it's all good then.

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

I could have written that word for word!!

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

Oh my goodness, yes. I feel the exact same way. I see so many moms working full time and I feel like I could never do that b/c taking care of the house is so tough without any added responsibilities. And things are still not organized or cleaned the way they should be. And my DH helps out a lot too. The act of cooking, feeding, cleaning up after, and doing the laundry for my family seems to take up almost all my time. Sometimes I feel like I am in the kitchen all day. And scheduling things for a certain time of day is virtually impossible b/c DD needs vary so much day to day. And never mind taking care of myself - exercise, showering, etc. I never understood how moms "let themselves go", but now I do.

One thing I did set up for myself 2 weeks ago is a little schedule to do 1 thing a day. Besides the usual laundry, cooking, etc., I will clean floors on Wednesday, pay bills Thursday, change sheets on Friday, etc. I admit I have not been 100% successful, but I did much better than if I didn't have this schedule and I strive to be better each week.

Good luck. I am right there with you.

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

Right there with you... Plus, we just moved last weekend, so on top of things being everywhere, I still haven't unpacked everything. DS just fell asleep, but the last thing I feel like doing right now is putting things away.

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

I do not even have time for a full reply but just wanted to say that I can totally relate too!

Just a quick thing that my mom said to me when I was discussing this very issue.... they don't stay this young forever so enjoy it while you can. She said she'd give anything for one month of us four kids at this age (under 1). Just one month each! The chores will get done.

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

I am sure that every SAHM has felt that way at one point.

Things that help:

Get out of the house. Run errands. Schedule playdates. Go to Open Plays. Sign your DD up for classes. We were always on the go, so much so, that I treasured my time at home.

Let your DD learn how to play independently. You can be in the same room, but let her explore and do things on her own. I really was never on top of Jack, and because of this he is a very independent toddler.

Write a list for the week of things you want to accomplish, and when you are done cross them off. On my list I literally have "Food shopping, laundry, etc"

Try to make the most of this time. As hard as it seems, it goes way too fast. Even if you have a horrible day - remember that you get a fresh start the next day. There are times when my toddler has me pulling the hair out of my head and I want to send my resume out - and there are days that are just wondeful. It all depends on the mood of the little 2.5 year old boy sitting in the other room (most definately NOT eating his dinner right now )

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

Goobster I feel exactly the same way.. I cant get even out of my PJ's most days. I hate my guts! I feel like I never take this poor kid anywhere.. I try to make my bed everyday but whats the point? I wonder if this is a touch of depression? For me at least I am not saying you but just typing this I feel like crying.. my cabinets my dresser drawers are a disgrace.. All in balls.. Now my dd's are a mess just like mine.. I need help.. I have a girl come in e/2wks but it still is never enough.. I hope you feel better but you are not alone at all..

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

Posted by dilb712

Goobster I feel exactly the same way.. I cant get even out of my PJ's most days. I hate my guts! I feel like I never take this poor kid anywhere.. I try to make my bed everyday but whats the point? I wonder if this is a touch of depression? For me at least I am not saying you but just typing this I feel like crying.. my cabinets my dresser drawers are a disgrace.. All in balls.. Now my dd's are a mess just like mine.. I need help.. I have a girl come in e/2wks but it still is never enough.. I hope you feel better but you are not alone at all..

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

Posted by Goobster

Posted by maiden
act of cooking, feeding, cleaning up after, and doing the laundry for my family seems to take up almost all my time. Sometimes I feel like I am in the kitchen all day. And scheduling things for a certain time of day is virtually impossible b/c DD needs vary so much day to day. And never mind taking care of myself - exercise, showering, etc. I never understood how moms "let themselves go", but now I do.
.

I say this all the time. B/w meal time and cooking and doing dishes, I feel like I am standing at my kitchen sink forver each day. It is driving me insane.

I also NEVER thought I could let myself go. Well I just ate half a bag of honey mustard and onion pretzels bits for "lunch". This is just awful. I gotta gain control of myself and get organized but since DD is now walking, it's just so hard.

Message edited 2/11/2010 5:39:23 PM.

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

Posted by dilb712

Goobster I feel exactly the same way.. I cant get even out of my PJ's most days. I hate my guts! I feel like I never take this poor kid anywhere.. I try to make my bed everyday but whats the point? I wonder if this is a touch of depression? For me at least I am not saying you but just typing this I feel like crying.. my cabinets my dresser drawers are a disgrace.. All in balls.. Now my dd's are a mess just like mine.. I need help.. I have a girl come in e/2wks but it still is never enough.. I hope you feel better but you are not alone at all..

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

I know exactly how you feel. I wish I had some advice. I have to force myself to leave the house sometimes, and it helps. I also try to make plans with people so that I HAVE to go.

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

I can totally relate, and to compound it, I'm the type of person that can't sit at home, so there are days where we're just out most of the day when she's not napping...I also am having a hard time not working, I loooved working and loved the adult interaction...DD can play by herself but we don't have a huuuge house and she has sooo much that I feel like her toys are taking over and that is driving me nuts as well...every day I try to do one thing that I enjoy for myself but I still am left feeling like everything else is so unorganized!!!

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

I definitely feel like this sometimes. I feel like since I am home with DD, my house should be perfect and I should get so much more accomplished. But you know what, like alot of other people said, your baby is only a baby once and since I have this opportunity to be home with her, I have to embrace the fact that it is about HER, not the house.
Also, sometimes I feel guilty because I take the time to exercise and shower and dry my hair while she is napping. I feel like I should be doing more projects and chores during that time. But DH has said again and again to me, if I am happy and feel good about myself, DD can only benefit from that. So I try to recognize that these small things I do for myself daily are also for her.
want to write more but DD just woke up...

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

Posted by 1stimemom

I know exactly how you feel. I wish I had some advice. I have to force myself to leave the house sometimes, and it helps. I also try to make plans with people so that I HAVE to go.

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

I feel the exact same way, and I can't see it getting any better comes Sept. when baby #2 comes. I'm scared I won't even have time to cook, clean, etc.

And to make it worse, I feel that DH sometimes wonders why stuff isn't done when I am home all day. He might not say it directly, or he'll joke about it sometimes, but I am sure he is thinking it.