Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

my house has never been such a disaster, I have a pile of clean laundry that needs to be folded /put away taking up half our bed. my closets are a disaster, my kitchen needs to be organized it's awful! I feel like such a mess. DS takes so much energy from me, when he naps, I rest too. he won't just sit in his highchair, climbs on everything, won't sit still, and is into everything. I even hate doing laundry bc he sees the machine is on and keeps going to play with it everything is such a hassle , I know exactly how you feel. I've been home 7 months now and it seems to be getting worse as he gets older. I have another on the way (in 4 months ) and shudder to think what my house will look like

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

Lately I am so overwhelmed that I am not even productive. I just look at it and thinks "F... it!".

I am so dispersed mentally it's insane. I am a home project manager. Between his therapies everyday, who comes, who cancels, trying to find a school for DS next year, a CPSE meeting this week. Trying to shovel the snow to help DH so he does not get a heart attack showeling 12+ inches of snow after work. Then after the whole week, I go to work on the weekend and do a physical job.

I know it was hard when I work FT and having a kid in daycare (like running from home to daycare then to work and do it all over again at night) but the house was neater actually.

Now, it's a mess! DS is 2.5 yo. I can't leave him alone. He took off in the snow yesterday in socks. So nothing gets done. He whines all day! Constantly asking me to do things, getting him things he wants. I can't even put him in a secured place. His crib was recalled. Now he is a toddler daybed. He just get out of bed. He also decided naps were overrated and stopped taking them. I have DS for 12+ hours and try to entertain him.

And the more I am into it, the worst it's getting. Like I don't even have the motivation anymore.

I spend hours cleaning up DS playroom. Between DS and his therapists it's all gone by the evening. I spent hours doing a bin system. It's all labeled. At night, I find stickers with crayons when I have a sticker bin. I find empty sticker paper (all the stickers were used) in another drawer. Like why not trash it or give it to me. I find used paper in the new paper bin. You name it! So now I gave up. One therapist dared hinting several times that it was a mess. Mommy needs a cleaning lady. Luckily I just left the room and did not slap her.

I am terrible in the Winter. It's really a downer on my state of mind. I am a warm weather kind of girl to make me happy.

I am trying not to lose it at this point. This is getting more and more difficult for me.

So yes... I can relate!

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

I am with you 150% .....

I basically maintain my house and thats about it...God bless my DH, he is a saint...He is a tremendous help and if not for him my house would totally fall apart....It's very easy to get into a funk, especially in the winter months...

But when I look back on these times years from now, I know deep down that it will not matter how many loads of laundry I got done, or how many dust bunnies lived under the couch and neither will my children...The time will come for an organized house...Then I will miss all the tiny fingerprints on my glass slding doors and the matchbox cars that I am tripping over

We are only human

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

As many others have said, your children will never be this age again. Enjoy them. Make it a point every day to do just that. This is what your children will remember. The love and affection and the play time you spent with them.
You're all being too hard on yourself. So stop doing that. This is a BIG life adjustment in anyone's life and therefore it takes time to get into a routine...to get the things that you want to be done. If you leave to do it everything on one specific day, it can definitely become overwhelming. I try to do a little bit each day but there are days that I don't do anything and it's just fine. It's important you get out of the house and get some fresh air. It's good for them too and it gets the kids a little tired too
Try to set some kind of routine with your child too so that he/she becomes accustomed to being a little independent. As they get older, it gets a little easier.
It will get better. Hang in there !

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

I felt like that when I was home with DD before I went back to work. I've been back to work for quite a while and I still feel that way.

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

I can certainly relate!

I never realized the amount of housework required when you are SAHM. I do more dishes because we eat at home more, more laundry than ever before because....I have no idea why. And there's a need to sweep/vacuum more because DD is making more messes at home. DH asks me why the house isn't spotless but he doesn't realize that I spend half my time cleaning the messes we just made from making lunch, doing play-doh, art, coming inside from the snow, etc. Combine that actually doing the activities, it's a full day and I'm exhausted by the end of it.

DH has always made fun of my lists, but I need them to feel organized and to get things done. I include household stuff as well as planning out DD's activities. They drive me crazy sometimes though, especially when I look at them at the end of the week and see that I haven't even checked off half of the things on there.

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

Posted by Diana1215

I am sure that every SAHM has felt that way at one point.

Things that help:

Get out of the house. Run errands. Schedule playdates. Go to Open Plays. Sign your DD up for classes. We were always on the go, so much so, that I treasured my time at home.

Let your DD learn how to play independently. You can be in the same room, but let her explore and do things on her own. I really was never on top of Jack, and because of this he is a very independent toddler.

Write a list for the week of things you want to accomplish, and when you are done cross them off. On my list I literally have "Food shopping, laundry, etc"

Try to make the most of this time. As hard as it seems, it goes way too fast. Even if you have a horrible day - remember that you get a fresh start the next day. There are times when my toddler has me pulling the hair out of my head and I want to send my resume out - and there are days that are just wondeful. It all depends on the mood of the little 2.5 year old boy sitting in the other room (most definately NOT eating his dinner right now )

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

Yes I can relate to you and to everyone else who replied.
I truly LOVE being a SAHM and I consider myself lucky to be able to stay home and take care of DD (and everything else) . But it can be challenging at times and very tiring and draining and exhausting
I also know it's also very hard for working moms, I don't know how they do it all and give them a lot of credit.
No one ever tells you that being a mommy is THE hardest job you'll ever have, whether you are a SAHM or a working mom

to all mommies

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

I am feeling frustrated because I have been looking for work for months, and there just isn't anything out there in my old field (or anything that pays enough to exceed childcare costs). Next year is not looking much better at this point, so I think I need to rework my resume and look for different work. I have hit a point where I would like more stimulation, and while I know I should appreciate having so much time with DS and our days together are numbered, I do get bored at times.

As for organization though, those days are over, for awhile anyway! I figure this is a phase, and I'll get organized again when he's a bit older or grown, but for now, things are going to be messy. Like you, I'm zonked by the time DH comes home, around 8 usually, and all I want to do is eat dinner and watch TV or read. I know it's frustrating, but try to let it go, or set manageable goals for yourself, like you'll clean out a drawer by the end of the week, something like that.

Sorry you are feeling blah The time of year doesn't help either, I would bet anything by spring you'll feel a little better.

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

Posted by Diana1215

I am sure that every SAHM has felt that way at one point.

Things that help:

Get out of the house. Run errands. Schedule playdates. Go to Open Plays. Sign your DD up for classes. We were always on the go, so much so, that I treasured my time at home.

Let your DD learn how to play independently. You can be in the same room, but let her explore and do things on her own. I really was never on top of Jack, and because of this he is a very independent toddler.

: )

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

I have many days like this as well. Somedays I feel like I can't get anything done - the kids want my attention all day long and washing dishes or having a moment to myself when i could literally use the bathroom alone is non-existent!
I basically try to do things around the house and let them help me out. If we are upstairs, I have them help me clean up their rooms, they help clean up the bathroom with me or I will lie books down on the floor with some toys and they will keep busy while I can do my thing and clean up. I try to cook meals that are good even the next day - like lasagna, soup, meatballs, etc....so that I don't have to cook every single day.
ALSO - just like the other mother said its very important to take a few moments to yourself - get washed up, put on alittle makeup and run errands - get out of the house for alittle bit even if it is with the kids. FRESH AIR helps so much. I also believe the winter has been long and now with the snow its just diifficult to get out and about with children - thus making life a bit harder.....

Hang in there - Im sure every SAHM can relate to some extent. There are good days and bad days......

Message edited 2/12/2010 6:03:31 PM.

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

Posted by Diana1215

Posted by dilb712

Goobster I feel exactly the same way.. I cant get even out of my PJ's most days. I hate my guts! I feel like I never take this poor kid anywhere.. I try to make my bed everyday but whats the point? I wonder if this is a touch of depression? For me at least I am not saying you but just typing this I feel like crying.. my cabinets my dresser drawers are a disgrace.. All in balls.. Now my dd's are a mess just like mine.. I need help.. I have a girl come in e/2wks but it still is never enough.. I hope you feel better but you are not alone at all..

Is there anything we can do to help?

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

Posted by dilb712

Posted by Diana1215

Posted by dilb712

Goobster I feel exactly the same way.. I cant get even out of my PJ's most days. I hate my guts! I feel like I never take this poor kid anywhere.. I try to make my bed everyday but whats the point? I wonder if this is a touch of depression? For me at least I am not saying you but just typing this I feel like crying.. my cabinets my dresser drawers are a disgrace.. All in balls.. Now my dd's are a mess just like mine.. I need help.. I have a girl come in e/2wks but it still is never enough.. I hope you feel better but you are not alone at all..

Is there anything we can do to help?

Oh this was so nice of you.. I do think as the weather gets warmer I would def love some playdates. If your up for it

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

I def. can relate to you. Like someone else mentioned, there are some days that I say F everything and just spend the day with my babies (play with them, take them out, ect.) I try to soak in the moments with them because (for me) I don't think we are having any other children and know that this time will only happen once for us. There are other days, I try to psych myself up and try to get things done while they are playing/behaving or sleeping.

Also, if you can afford it, I would get a cleaning lady to come to your house. I have someone come once every 2 weeks and it really is a lifesaver and worth every dime.

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

I completely understand how you feel. I too went through a stage like this. For me, it wasn't getting better (crying all the time, etc.) and I finally saw my OB. Turns out I had a little PPD, and I was put on meds for four months. BEST THING I EVER DID! I got myself together, got into a routine, etc. - the medicine gave me the boost to make a change. I am NOT saying you need medication, but you need something to give you the boost to get out the door
You should make an attempt to get out of the house EVERYDAY (okay, maybe every other day!). That has been a LIFE SAVER for me! Even if I run to Kohl's and window shop, run to the food store, etc., it makes me feel better to get dressed and get some fresh air. I know it will probably be an effort at first for you, but you will eventually realize that it's not that hard! It helps break up the day a bit and makes it much less monotonous. Don't do too much at once - take baby steps - and I promise you, you will feel better!!!

Re: SAHM and feeling a bit frustrated

Posted by MrsNicolaxoxo

Posted by dilb712

Posted by Diana1215

Posted by dilb712

Goobster I feel exactly the same way.. I cant get even out of my PJ's most days. I hate my guts! I feel like I never take this poor kid anywhere.. I try to make my bed everyday but whats the point? I wonder if this is a touch of depression? For me at least I am not saying you but just typing this I feel like crying.. my cabinets my dresser drawers are a disgrace.. All in balls.. Now my dd's are a mess just like mine.. I need help.. I have a girl come in e/2wks but it still is never enough.. I hope you feel better but you are not alone at all..

Is there anything we can do to help?

Oh this was so nice of you.. I do think as the weather gets warmer I would def love some playdates. If your up for it

Count me in for playdates when the weather gets warmer!!!

Message edited 2/12/2010 9:30:23 PM.