Scared to death

I just found out I am pregnant on Saturday.. Besides being completely estatic, I have never felt so sad in my entire life

I see so many unfortunate situations of ladies having miscarriages. I want to be excited for this wonderful time in my life however the thought that there is a possibility of me having a miscarriage totally puts a damper ( A HUGE) damper on my happyness & joy. I haven't told DH that I felt this way, but I cant seem to get excited anymore. How horrible is that?

Has anyone been through this? I know I shouldn't feel this way but I do. I cant imagine what its like to miscarry, and everytime I read a post that someone has, it breaks my heart to no end.

What do I do?? How do I deal with this?

Re: Scared to death

I found out Saturday too with my first positive. I had an early miscarriage in July and since it is too early right now, I can't get excited either. I tested postive on a bunch of tests, took a blood test at dr apt that I already had scheduled ( don't have results yet), but I feel it is way too early for me to get excited and makes me have mixed emotions. My husband is jumping for joy, but I keep telling him we have to wait, it is too early. So I think maybe we are feeling the same thing. I wonder how common this feeling is.

Re: Scared to death

Posted by CAH127

I found out Saturday too with my first positive. I had an early miscarriage in July and since it is too early right now, I can't get excited either. I tested postive on a bunch of tests, took a blood test at dr apt that I already had scheduled ( don't have results yet), but I feel it is way too early for me to get excited and makes me have mixed emotions. My husband is jumping for joy, but I keep telling him we have to wait, it is too early. So I think maybe we are feeling the same thing. I wonder how common this feeling is.

Re: Scared to death

Thank you!

And a big congratulations to you!

Re: Scared to death

I understand how you feel. I am 10 weeks and i'm still afraid. My mom has had miscarriages and it seems like every other woman has a miscarriage these days. I think for the first trimester, it's normal to be worried. I check the toilet paper every time i wipe.

I guess maybe that's why i'm not over the moon, hasn't hit me yet, kind of feeling. Probably because i don't want to have my heart broken so i don't want to get my hopes up just yet.

I go for my 2nd appointment on monday. With each appointment that you go to, you'll feel better and better.

I'm not going to lie... because i've been so nervous, the 1st trimester has gone so slow for me!

It will get better...

Re: Scared to death

Try to be positive and enjoy your pregnancy.
Your hormones are so crazy right now that it is so hard to think rationally, but it's best for you, DH, and the little one.

I am not one to talk because I check for blood every time I go to the bathroom. I think what your feeling is normal, but it doesn't make it any easier.

I am 11 weeks and still paranoid, but there is nothing I can do but to


that all will be well for you.

Re: Scared to death

Honestly, you are always going to be scared. From the second you get the BFP until the day your child is 60 years old.

When I was pregnant - I just could not wait to get out of the first trimester because then I knew I would be "safe"

Then I started to worry about the Level 2 to make sure that he was fine.

Once that was fine - I was worried about the cord being wrapped around his neck.

Then - about the delivery that he would be ok.

Then - when he was first born - about Sids.

Now that he's eating - I worry about him choking.

I worry about the days when he starts school - and then starts driving (crazy I know)

The second you become a parent and get that BFP the worrying never ends. All that I can tell you is to enjoy this time! You have a little miracle growing inside of you - and although, it is the scariest thing in the world - it is the most amazing thing ever! Enjoy this time - eat whatever you want (it's the only time in your life when you can) and take care of yourself and your little baby!!! Everything else will work itself into place. Unfortunately, things do happen that are out of our control and we can never understand why they happen but you can't live worrying if they will happen to you!

So - be excited - tell friends and family - it will make it all the more real!

Sorry to ramble - but I know exactly how you feel because I am such a worrier too!

Re: Scared to death

I don't think that the fear ever goes away but you learn to deal with it. I think that once the baby started moving some of the anxiety disappeared for me . For the most part though I am 34 weeks pg and I still am petrified that something is going to go wrong. If I'm this worried while she is in me, I can't imagine how worried I'll be when she is out! I guess as a parent it is something that we are all going to have to learn to live with.

Re: Scared to death

hello there! I did the same thing to myself. I wouldn't get excited until I had the sonogram. I saw the heartbeat, felt better and then a week later I got scared again. I ended up losing the baby at 12 weeks but the bigger picture was that it sounds kind of strange but I didn't enjoy the time I had with her. You cannot control what happens right now all you can do is take care of yourself and try to enjoy it. Don't miss out on this beginning of your baby's life because of fear. It's not worth it. Everything is going to be fine!!!!!!!!

Message edited 9/2/2009 10:06:37 AM.

Re: Scared to death

I was the same way, so scared of a m/c that I did not get to enjoy my first trimester as much as I would have like to. All I can say is TRY to relax and enjoy this miracle.

Re: Scared to death

I am scared too and I also check the toilet paper every time I go to the bathroom. but I have to think positive. I did some research and for woman under the age of 35 the chances of a miscarriage are 20%. I was hoping it would be lower but 20% is still low.

I just think positive but the days cant come fast enough to get out of the first trimester

Re: Scared to death

Posted by Diana1215

Honestly, you are always going to be scared. From the second you get the BFP until the day your child is 60 years old.

When I was pregnant - I just could not wait to get out of the first trimester because then I knew I would be "safe"

Then I started to worry about the Level 2 to make sure that he was fine.

Once that was fine - I was worried about the cord being wrapped around his neck.

Then - about the delivery that he would be ok.

Then - when he was first born - about Sids.

Now that he's eating - I worry about him choking.

I worry about the days when he starts school - and then starts driving (crazy I know)

The second you become a parent and get that BFP the worrying never ends. All that I can tell you is to enjoy this time! You have a little miracle growing inside of you - and although, it is the scariest thing in the world - it is the most amazing thing ever! Enjoy this time - eat whatever you want (it's the only time in your life when you can) and take care of yourself and your little baby!!! Everything else will work itself into place. Unfortunately, things do happen that are out of our control and we can never understand why they happen but you can't live worrying if they will happen to you!

So - be excited - tell friends and family - it will make it all the more real!

Sorry to ramble - but I know exactly how you feel because I am such a worrier too!

Re: Scared to death

The fear doesn't go away. I am almost 29 weeks and I still find things to worry about. As the pregnancy goes on, the fears and concerns will become less but there will always be something to worry about.

Re: Scared to death

I don't think the fear ever goes away. I am in week 25 and every day and night I wake up with that fear. And it goes away when I feel the first little kick and know that the baby is "OK."

You can't let the fear take away the joy though. Every day is just a miracle and a blessing and seeing and feeling your baby grow (along with you) will start to overtake that fear little by little.

Re: Scared to death

Message edited 5/22/2010 9:20:56 AM.

Re: Scared to death

Posted by Diana1215

Honestly, you are always going to be scared. From the second you get the BFP until the day your child is 60 years old.

When I was pregnant - I just could not wait to get out of the first trimester because then I knew I would be "safe"

Then I started to worry about the Level 2 to make sure that he was fine.

Once that was fine - I was worried about the cord being wrapped around his neck.

Then - about the delivery that he would be ok.

Then - when he was first born - about Sids.

Now that he's eating - I worry about him choking.

I worry about the days when he starts school - and then starts driving (crazy I know)

The second you become a parent and get that BFP the worrying never ends. All that I can tell you is to enjoy this time! You have a little miracle growing inside of you - and although, it is the scariest thing in the world - it is the most amazing thing ever! Enjoy this time - eat whatever you want (it's the only time in your life when you can) and take care of yourself and your little baby!!! Everything else will work itself into place. Unfortunately, things do happen that are out of our control and we can never understand why they happen but you can't live worrying if they will happen to you!

So - be excited - tell friends and family - it will make it all the more real!

Sorry to ramble - but I know exactly how you feel because I am such a worrier too!

Re: Scared to death

That feeling is totally normal I believe. I'm 9w2d and I have that feeling too. I can't wait for this 1st trimester to be finished and it feels like its taking forever! Everytime I get a cramp or go to the bathroom I worry. We're all in this together so just try to stay calm and just know you're not alone with the way you're feeling

Re: Scared to death

Posted by justhappy

I understand how you feel. I am 10 weeks and i'm still afraid. My mom has had miscarriages and it seems like every other woman has a miscarriage these days. I think for the first trimester, it's normal to be worried. I check the toilet paper every time i wipe.

I guess maybe that's why i'm not over the moon, hasn't hit me yet, kind of feeling. Probably because i don't want to have my heart broken so i don't want to get my hopes up just yet.

I go for my 2nd appointment on monday. With each appointment that you go to, you'll feel better and better.

I'm not going to lie... because i've been so nervous, the 1st trimester has gone so slow for me!

It will get better...

Re: Scared to death

I feel better that I am not the only one...I overthink every cramp and if I spot at all it's freak out time....
Hopefully this first trimester goes quickly and we can move on to trying to enjoy our pregnancies a little!!!

Re: Scared to death

Dont worry its completely normal..i was the same way..i think when i delivered dd did i begin to relax and know she was ok..its hard to relax when this is something you have no control over..im sure you will be fine - try to enjoy this time

Re: Scared to death

i think what you are feeling is normal. I have friends who have been trying to get pregnant for years and here i am, married a month and we decided to go for it and i got pregnant 6 weeks after our wedding and i felt so guilty and almost embarassed to tell them so i kind of know what you are feeling, plus your hormones are all over the place!

Re: Scared to death

I understand what you mean. To be honest, I'm 17 weeks and still scared something can go wrong! Everyone tells me that is what it means to be a parent!! Try to relax and know that what is meant to be is meant to be. As everyday goes by, you will get more comfortable with it!!

Re: Scared to death

you just need to deal! I had a successful birth with #1 and lost my second and now am pregnant again. you never know and at ANY time through out your pregnancy, birth or after you can possibly loose your child. But until it actually happens don't worry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! there is no need for it at all. I think 99% of first time, second or 10th time moms go through this in the beginning, it never stops but you learn to lighten up and be grateful for whatever chance great or small you have been given. KWIM. you'll be fine, talk it out with DH and don't stress. It's just waiting games. First appointment, first movement, kicks and so on makes it more reassuring, but until then it's the unknown that you can not control.

Re: Scared to death

First, CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

Second, it is totally normal and OK to be scared. I didn't have any worry about a MC and I ended up having one. You see it more on these boards because it's talked about more, and while it can happen, there is nothing you can do to prevent it anyway.

With my 2nd pg, I was totally unnerved and really didn't even acknowledge that I was pregnant other than watching what I was ingesting.

It's a crapshoot, but you should be happy while you are healthy....