Second thoughts about breastfeeding

I'm having mixed feelings with only 8 weeks to go. I want to BF, but I want DH to be able to help w/ feedings from the beginning. I also want to be able to establish some sort of routine, which I know isn't easy when you BF. I know eventually I can pump, but not sure I want to take the time to do that either, esp in the summer. I feel like formula feeding is so much easier. But I do realize that BF is so good for DC. I don't know what to do...Any BTDT moms?!

Re: Second thoughts about breastfeeding

Sorry I am no help but I thought I let you know you are so not alone on feeling this way. I have been feeling the same way. I just don't know what to do. I didn't BF my first DS but I did want to try for this baby. Now I'm not sure what I want to do. FF would work best for my busy schedule but I want the benefits of BF for the baby and myself. Nothing seems like the right answer to me. Everyone has such strong opinions either way that I am having trouble finding advice from friends and family.

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I know how you feel! I am planning on BF...my mom did it with all 4 of her kids, and I know it is good for the baby and myself. But I also can't help but feel I will be so tied down by it! I worry that it will take over my life! But then when I think that way I feel like I am being selfish and I should just suck it up and that if my mom and so many other people did then why can't I. I'm also taking an extended leave of absence from work after my FMLA so I feel like I have no excuse not to do it. I am definately going to give it a good try and see how it goes....you can always supplement with formula at times if it becomes too much. I just dont know what that will do to your supply.

Message edited 3/7/2010 7:42:16 PM.

Re: Second thoughts about breastfeeding

Since you originally wanted to BF, I suggest giving it a try and deciding then. It's a lot easier to switch to FF after trying to BF than to go the other way KWIM. You can never get that back. It's really hard to know what will work for you and your family until your DC is born.

Regarding my BTDT experience as a BFing mom~

My DS was born 5/1. I happened to find BFing easy because my DS was an efficient BFer from the beginning so I never did it more than about 10 minutes (he grew off the charts quickly so there was never a concern with the ped about that).

My DH was able to help with the evening feedings. DS had a habit of putting his arms in front of his face as a newborn. DH would hold his arms so that I could latch him on. He always went back to sleep very quickly at night so I was never up that long with him for night feeding. (We used the arms reach co-sleeper so I just picked him up, BFed, put him back and was back to sleep.)

I liked never having to worry about bottles etc. when I traveled (to family, friend's houses) or when I was out shopping.

I also pumped once a day starting around 4 wks and my DH would give DS a bottle and put him to sleep.

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I definitely know how you feel. I was 100% for it for a long time and now that I'm getting closer to the end I feel like I'm not sure anymore. I have had some issues/complications from this pregnancy and I would like to return to physical normalcy sooner rather than later. (I do realize that "normalcy" is over, but that's another post.)

I also need to search for a new job soon and that will require time and flexibility on my part.

I sincerely do want to try it and intend to. I just hope I have the strength to stick to it, as I know it's tough in the beginning.

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Thia pretty much wrote mine!!!!

I was 100% for BFing with my DD and luckily everything went overall very well and I did so for about 13 months. My only regret was not enforcing a bottle more, but as a SAHM I didn't bother with the trouble of pumping and feeding and cleaning etc.

However I did pump so even after I was done BFing she still got BM afterwards from a sippy cup.

As far as DH being involved....I fed her and then went right back to sleep. He used to get up with me (of course often slept while I fed) but then we would change and put her back to sleep.

Do what feels right for you, but I tell every mom, it's the best, and at least try it. You can always just pump and the baby still gets the benefits!!!!

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I feel the same way, BF is so important to me that I'm really in denial about all the challenges.

I will be a SAHM for at least a year, but I hope to start pumping right away, as soon as milk comes in, to get DH involved as well as my mother and MIL.... and maybe even our dads, because they seem excited by the idea but I honestly can't even imagine it. Feeding is such a primitive and important bonding time, I would love to share it will all who are close to us. And I feel its healthy for baby to not get too attached to one person, especially as he starts to learn faces and expressions and language.

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I didn't bf with DS for medical reasons but plan to with DS#2. I will definitely pump too and may even supplement with formula. Is supplementing an option for you? Or maybe pumping as others have posted and trying it that way?

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I don't want to sound like a party pooper, but if you're having mixed feelings and your whole heart is not on it, chances are very slim that it will work out! I went throught it. I had a million hurdles and thought about quitting a few times, but my mind was set on Bfing from the start. It is not easy you're absolutely right. You have to really want to do it in order for it to work out.

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Re: Second thoughts about breastfeeding

I wanted to bf, but Emmy went into the NICU since she was born 4wks early. At that point I said give her a bottle with my colostrum and formula. ANYTHING to get her to eat. She always latched well, but never suckled for more then 3-5seconds. I decided to pump since she was a preemie and I felt it was important. Here I am at 10.5wks chained to the pump and HATING it. I am weaning myself to 4 pumps a day so I can have a life. She gets some formula now and then to fill her up and Enfamil Restful at night w/bm so she'll sleep longer....LOVE this stuff! It's not easy and it takes a lot of time, but I can say this.....I would do it all over again in a heartbeat for her, and will do it again if need be when we have another. Today was my 1st shift back at work and it's 24hrs so when I get home, after my shower, I will bf her since she is now bfing well and we do it now and then. I can't WAIT to spend this time alone with her.
I can tell you having bottles for Joe has been a lifesaver. Pumping is more work, but unlike nursing I get to sleep while Joe feeds her sometimes.

Message edited 3/7/2010 10:06:13 PM.

Re: Second thoughts about breastfeeding

I plan on trying to BF...I am def going to stop before I return to work(3 months) I figured 3 months of BM is better than none. I just don't want to be pumping forever!...I do plan on pumpikng when i get home from the hospital so DH can feed his son.

I won't kill myself if it doesn't work out, but I am going to give it a try!

Re: Second thoughts about breastfeeding

FF is easier...and as a result more popular.

The pro's of BFing.....most nutricious for your baby, great for bonding, it's wherever you are (no toting bottles and formula), baby will most likely be less gassy, helps you lose weight faster, can help prevent cancer in the future for mom.

Cons....DH can't help in that department, cracked nipples (temporarily), fear of BFing in public (cover ups work great though) Can't think of any others.

Babies that little are very hard to get into a schedule, regardless of what they are eating. I pumped in the beginning and DH would help with night feedings on the weekends. I didn't make him get up during the week. DD slept thru the night by the time I had to go back to work (12 weeks).

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I know of plenty of people who balance both. BF when you are home and can easily do it or have it pumped and ready to go...and when you're not around is when baby gets formula. it's perfectly fine to do both. I think it's actually great because if there is ever a time your child is not under your care whoever is the caretaker can easily feed them and baby is now used to both.

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I am 1 week into it so here is my experience.

DD is tiny and has trouble latching-so I use a nipple shield and pump after. In terms of ease for me in my situation, FF probably would take less time. But this is where I say if you are open, see how you feel. I love nursing, despite the added time and steps-DH feeds her one bottle of BM a day and luckily I am producing tons of milk, so pumping takes 10 mins per breast-I pump after each feeding to keep my supply up since i am using a shield and I have hypothyroidism which could lessen my supply. You might nt have issues where you need to pump as much as me, which saves time. I would say our feedings with pumping last about 45 min-1 hour. Then she sleeps for 2-4 hours. But every baby is different.

My point is no one has one experience and it depends on you-some mommies love BFing, some love FFing-either way, your baby eats! Neither are for everyone and if you don't like BFing, you can tell yourself you tried.

My pros are-when she is hungry and crying, I am not warming a bottle, health benefits, weight loss, closeness to DD (skin on skin wise)

My cons-takes a ton of time for me.

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I choose not to breastfeed my children. Just not for me. They were on formula from birth. I was a much happier mom doing this. I did try with my 1st born and was miserable, and he wouldn't latch. It just wansn't easy and didn't feel natural to me.

Do what makes you most comfortable. There is nothing wrong with formula feeding your babies. Sure, there are benefits to BF, but in no way are my kids less healthy from formula. Plus, DH was able to help out and we had a great schedule of who did what when during the nights. Also wanted to add that even though I did not breastfeed I lost all my baby weight within a month of giving birth.

Good luck! Make the decision for you, not for what others will think or want you to do.

Message edited 3/8/2010 7:32:36 AM.

Re: Second thoughts about breastfeeding

I'm on day 4 breastfeeding my second, I didn't BF my son because of latching issues and I pumped for 8 months, that was a terrible experience. I am BF'ing Immi and its SOOOO Easy!! So super easy, and wonderful. IMO Providing you have good latcing issues right away, and no problems with cracked nipples etc, you should find it easy. I have sent my husband to sleep in the spare room so he can get a good nights sleep as he can't help with feeding anyway, and I find this way he can get his slee and he can look after me and Baby Immi better in the day!!

Give it a try, if you don't like it, you can always stop, but if it comes naturally to me, its sooooo easy and convenient!!

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I agree with PP that you have to be 100% committed if you want to be successful.

Truth is, having a NB is hard, exhausting work. Throw BFing into the mix and you have a whole new meaning to the word "tired". Not only are you attached at the boob to the baby constantly those first few weeks, but BFing just physically drains you.

That said, BFing has been so incredibly fulfilling to me that there has never been a question as to whether or not I would do it. I just knew that I was going into it with the idea that I WAS going to BF. If it "didn't work out" I knew there were other options but I had it in my head that only in very dire circumstances would I go to FF.

I was able to successfully BF my DDs to about 12 months (11 months for #1, 13 months for #2) while working 3.5 days a week. I went back to work when my first was almost 9 weeks old, so believe me it can be done. She also had latching issues and I needed to use a nipple shield for a few months- which added to the aggravation.

FF is perfectly fine for a baby. But personally I feel that BFing is SUCH a different experience- so it was truly worth all the sleepless nights, exhausting days, and tired moments in between.

Try to remember: it's SUCH a tiny, temporary time in your life. I look back on those times with loving fondness (even though at the time I was definitely NOT the happiest). I actually look forward to it with this, my third and final baby.

Good luck and wishes to you. If you decide to do it- there is a large group of us on LIF Parenting who are ready to help with any questions or just give you a cheerleader's pat on the back.

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Thank you ladies! I am definitely going to try it. I was so set after my BF class and more determined then ever, but I still sometimes get that hesitant feeling. I know after I have established BF and my milk supply, then I can pump for DH to help. I guess I just hope it comes easy and natural. Not sure if I have a fight in me, but that could change when I see DC. I'm also not sure I am feeling the support from family, which may be a factor as well. I will say that DH is all for it, so that definitely helps!!

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I was never so set on breastfeeding. I said I would try...and if it worked out...GREAT...if not...I wasn't going to get upset and feel guilty about it. i wasn't sure how I was going to feel about breastfeeding in public or in front of family in friends.

DD is now almost 3 months old and I am so surprised about how much I love breastfeeding. I feel like it has been such a wonderful bonding experience and it's so easy now!! when i do give her pumped bottles...i find it to be so annoying...having to prepare the bottles (with 500 parts), warming the bottles...and her fussing around with the bottle until she finally decides to drink out of it...ugh! So much easier to just whip out my boob!

The first 3 weeks were rough...but i was determined to not give up so easily. I had a cut in one of my nipples that hurt like hell, my nipples were sore, i was tired and anxious that she wasn't eating enough...but now...looking back...it was totally worth it.

Try not to over think about it now. Go with the flow. Give it a try...you may be surprised in the end :)

Good luck!!!

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Re: Second thoughts about breastfeeding

Re: Second thoughts about breastfeeding