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sending your child away for vacation - please tell me i'm not crazy

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LBBCHGRL
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sending your child away for vacation - please tell me i'm not crazy

I am also in the minority. Every year since my kids have been born they have spent time with their grandparents overnight. It is usually a week at a time. Sometimes DH and I go away and sometimes we stay home. I figured they did a good job with me so what's the harm to have them watch the kids for a week.

Posted 10/30/13 10:03 AM
 
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DiamondGirl
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DiamondMama

Re: sending your child away for vacation - please tell me i'm not crazy

My son has only ever stayed over night with in laws. He will not go away for more than a night anytime soon, he is 2, he cries for us and we miss him. We have done family vacations to Florida and are also taking him to Jamaica this April.

DH and I have no desire to go away without him, if we want a date night we have a date night, we don't need a date week away from our son, people can do what works for them, this works for us.

Posted 10/30/13 10:14 AM
 

Pomegranate5
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Member since 2/11

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Pomegranate5

Re: sending your child away for vacation - please tell me i'm not crazy

DH's parents live 5+ hours away. I'm obviously in the minority, but I would be willing to let my kids stay with them for a few days to a week when they are older, say 4 years old and up. I trust them 150% and since they are so far away it is a great opportunity to develop a much closer relationship with each other. But this is a common thing in DH's family.

I feel the same way about my parents, but they live much closer and DD already does occasional overnights with them.

For all other family I would say no way to an extended visit, but for parents (specifically ours) I have no issue with it.

Posted 10/30/13 10:59 AM
 

NYCGirl80
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Member since 5/11

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Re: sending your child away for vacation - please tell me i'm not crazy

You're the mom, you make the rules. Period. End of story.

And I agree with you, I would not be comfortable with any of that either. Maybe she can visit you and have grandma time that way?

Posted 10/30/13 11:02 AM
 

Sash
Peace

Member since 6/08

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fka LIW Smara

sending your child away for vacation - please tell me i'm not crazy

Just wanted to actually answer your question, Although I would send my DS away to my parents or perhaps with my sister since thats a more real scenario. However, I dont think it makes you crazy because you arent comfortable with the idea, and your DS is still young.

Maybe you will feel differently when he is 4 or 5 or maybe you wont. Just tell her in a few years you can revisit. LOL.

I dont think it makes anyone a crazy parent either side you are on. Just different types of parenting and family dynamics.

Message edited 10/30/2013 11:08:42 AM.

Posted 10/30/13 11:07 AM
 

BriBri2u
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Member since 5/05

9320 total posts

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Mrs. B

Re: sending your child away for vacation - please tell me i'm not crazy

Posted by DiamondGirl

My son has only ever stayed over night with in laws. He will not go away for more than a night anytime soon, he is 2, he cries for us and we miss him. We have done family vacations to Florida and are also taking him to Jamaica this April.

DH and I have no desire to go away without him, if we want a date night we have a date night, we don't need a date week away from our son, people can do what works for them, this works for us.



This is us as well

We would miss him way too much and just would not enjoy our time away. Plus, I just do not feel comfortable having him away from us for that long. I just don't feel that he needs to be away from us for that long. If we want to go away, we go away as a family.

DS has only slept at my mom's and he's 3. In fact, he hasn't slept at her house in a long time because he just doesn't want to. My mom offers to keep him overnight so I can get a break (I'm 8 months pregnant), DS tells her 'he has to go home and sleep with Mama and Dada'Chat Icon

When we have to go out, MIL watches him at our home. She usually spends the night, so that if do end up coming in late she wakes up with him and lets us sleep in for a bit. Although, DS wants us up and comes jumping on our bed to wake up! lolol

Posted 10/30/13 11:25 AM
 

MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!

Member since 5/06

14562 total posts

Name:
Marisa

Re: sending your child away for vacation - please tell me i'm not crazy

DH and I have gone on vacation alone and left the boys with my parents. We've done a few weekends, and one week long vacation. But I'm not shipping them anywhere, my parents life 5 minutes from us and are their caregivers 2x a week while we're at work - so I'm completely comfortable leaving them w/ my parents.

I wouldn't leave them w/ anyone else. - Possibly my BIL, but not for a long period of time - maybe an overnight.

I'd never send them away to visit someone w/o me and/or DH no matter who it was. I mean, when they're older teenagers, sure - but not before at least 16 ..........

Posted 10/30/13 12:02 PM
 

Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy

Member since 3/08

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Momx100

Re: sending your child away for vacation - please tell me i'm not crazy

I think it depends on the relationship your child has with his grandparents. If they are close and your child wants and will enjoy it, I would not mind. However, I would not just drop him off so they could go on vacation together. That is crazy.

Maybe when they are like 8 or 9 or 10.

Posted 10/30/13 12:06 PM
 

meloyellow
LIF Adult

Member since 3/13

1843 total posts

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Re: sending your child away for vacation - please tell me i'm not crazy

I should add it's not like she doesn't see him. We travel to her at least 2-3 times a year and she travels to us about 3 times a year as well. She stays with me when she visits and I always let her sleep with DS. When she is here I told her she is free to take him to the park and for a walk and she has watched him while i ran out to work for a few hours when here. We skype about every 3 days. We've also discussed going to disney next year and invited her along bc i know how much she would want to experience that and we'll have 2 by then.

I've offered to stay in a hotel and let DS stay with her (which just seems silly to me) but I offered anyway and it doesn't seem that it's far enough away for her.

She seems to think that when my sister has kids she will allow them to go and stay with her, UNLIKE me...lol can't wait for that rude awakening when she realizes my sister agrees with me.

Posted 10/30/13 12:17 PM
 

DiamondGirl
You are my I love you

Member since 7/09

18802 total posts

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DiamondMama

Re: sending your child away for vacation - please tell me i'm not crazy

Posted by meloyellow

I should add it's not like she doesn't see him. We travel to her at least 2-3 times a year and she travels to us about 3 times a year as well. She stays with me when she visits and I always let her sleep with DS. When she is here I told her she is free to take him to the park and for a walk and she has watched him while i ran out to work for a few hours when here. We skype about every 3 days. We've also discussed going to disney next year and invited her along bc i know how much she would want to experience that and we'll have 2 by then.

I've offered to stay in a hotel and let DS stay with her (which just seems silly to me) but I offered anyway and it doesn't seem that it's far enough away for her.

She seems to think that when my sister has kids she will allow them to go and stay with her, UNLIKE me...lol can't wait for that rude awakening when she realizes my sister agrees with me.



Maybe you're sister will want to ship her son to VA but you don't and you do not need to apologize for that, every parent has the right to decide for themselves how they want to do things and you're mom will have to live with you're decision Chat Icon

Posted 10/30/13 12:41 PM
 

EandF
LIF Adult

Member since 11/11

1674 total posts

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Re: sending your child away for vacation - please tell me i'm not crazy

My parents live a few minutes from us and my mom will be watching DD when I return to work this coming week. No overnights yet but when the time comes, I will be perfectly ok with it. I also am all about family vacations and will be bringing DD. Ideally, I'd like short 3 or 4 day trips with DH and I know my parents would be fine with having her. Just not sure about me!

Do what feels right and in this case, I don't blame you for not wanting to let DS go.

Posted 10/30/13 12:44 PM
 

KevinNKristin8-15-08
Welcome to the world Chase

Member since 9/08

6162 total posts

Name:
Kristin

Re: sending your child away for vacation - please tell me i'm not crazy

Your so not crazy. I would not be ok with this either. I have trouble leaving my dd overnight at grandmas. I think they are expecting too much IMO. I could understand if he was older but he's only 2!

Posted 10/30/13 1:12 PM
 

REKoz412
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Member since 5/10

148 total posts

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Re: sending your child away for vacation - please tell me i'm not crazy

Posted by LBBCHGRL

I am also in the minority. Every year since my kids have been born they have spent time with their grandparents overnight. It is usually a week at a time. Sometimes DH and I go away and sometimes we stay home. I figured they did a good job with me so what's the harm to have them watch the kids for a week.



THIS!! For all of you girls having that same confidence in your parents, I have a hard time understanding why an overnight with them is such a big deal. I can sort of get my head around a week...but one night? Please explain if you trust your parent(s) with your child otherwise, what is the reason to keep them from this kind of experience?

Posted 10/30/13 1:34 PM
 

Otherme
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Member since 3/06

6899 total posts

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Re: sending your child away for vacation - please tell me i'm not crazy

no way!

My DS is 2 and has spent overnight at his grandparents many times. However, they live 20 min from us. We recently went away for 5 days and he stayed with a combo of them/sitter and my mom.. But he's never been shipped off to a different state without us! Definitely would not be comfortable with that. Don't let your mom guilt you into doing anything you're not comfortable with.

and honestly, does your mom even realize how much of a commitment/time/energy it will cost her looking after a toddler ALL day? Chat Icon
In theory it sounds like fun, but in reality, she may not be able to handle it!

Posted 10/30/13 1:39 PM
 

lynnd126
LIF Adult

Member since 3/11

2630 total posts

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Re: sending your child away for vacation - please tell me i'm not crazy

Posted by REKoz412

Posted by LBBCHGRL

I am also in the minority. Every year since my kids have been born they have spent time with their grandparents overnight. It is usually a week at a time. Sometimes DH and I go away and sometimes we stay home. I figured they did a good job with me so what's the harm to have them watch the kids for a week.



THIS!! For all of you girls having that same confidence in your parents, I have a hard time understanding why an overnight with them is such a big deal. I can sort of get my head around a week...but one night? Please explain if you trust your parent(s) with your child otherwise, what is the reason to keep them from this kind of experience?



Whenever this topic comes up I feel like people try and make it like it's so righteous of them to never want to get away without their kids. We go away a lot. Two big vacations a year and six or seven 2-3 night trips. We do a couple of those trips without our kids. Kids are hard and I LOVE the break and the chance for dh and I to be alone. Last year we went on two overnights alone and a three night beach vacation. There were also trips to Disney, Sesame, Busch Gardens, and other places that are totally kid-centric. You want to know something? I didn't really "miss them" those few nights alone. I REVELED in them, lol. I knew they were in the best hands and we did face time. I would miss them if it was some sort of extended type business trip, but for a few nights at the beach, I was happy to have the time to ourselves. I also think it greatly varies depending on your childcare situation. For us, my mil's house is like their own house. I would not leave them somewhere unfamiliar for a vacation. I wouldn't do anything that I thought might make them uncomfortable.

Message edited 10/30/2013 2:02:17 PM.

Posted 10/30/13 1:59 PM
 

DiamondGirl
You are my I love you

Member since 7/09

18802 total posts

Name:
DiamondMama

Re: sending your child away for vacation - please tell me i'm not crazy

Posted by REKoz412

Posted by LBBCHGRL

I am also in the minority. Every year since my kids have been born they have spent time with their grandparents overnight. It is usually a week at a time. Sometimes DH and I go away and sometimes we stay home. I figured they did a good job with me so what's the harm to have them watch the kids for a week.



THIS!! For all of you girls having that same confidence in your parents, I have a hard time understanding why an overnight with them is such a big deal. I can sort of get my head around a week...but one night? Please explain if you trust your parent(s) with your child otherwise, what is the reason to keep them from this kind of experience?



I am fine with overnight here or there but not all the time. I work M-F and I don't want or need to leave my child overnight often, he is without me and his father enough M-F. More than a night isn't happening bc when I am at work by 3 pm he is wondering where I am and by 3:30 if I am not there he is crying for me.

Every parent does and should do what they are comfrotable with whether you see the "big deal" or not.

Message edited 10/30/2013 2:02:24 PM.

Posted 10/30/13 2:00 PM
 

DiamondGirl
You are my I love you

Member since 7/09

18802 total posts

Name:
DiamondMama

Re: sending your child away for vacation - please tell me i'm not crazy

Posted by lynnd126

Posted by REKoz412

Posted by LBBCHGRL

I am also in the minority. Every year since my kids have been born they have spent time with their grandparents overnight. It is usually a week at a time. Sometimes DH and I go away and sometimes we stay home. I figured they did a good job with me so what's the harm to have them watch the kids for a week.



THIS!! For all of you girls having that same confidence in your parents, I have a hard time understanding why an overnight with them is such a big deal. I can sort of get my head around a week...but one night? Please explain if you trust your parent(s) with your child otherwise, what is the reason to keep them from this kind of experience?



Whenever this topic comes up I feel like people try and make it like it's so righteous of them to never want to get away without their kids. We go away a lot. Two big vacations a year and six or seven 2-3 night trips. We do a couple of those trips without our kids. Kids are hard and I LOVE the break and the chance for dh and I to be alone. Last year we went on two overnights alone and a three night beach vacation. There were also trips to Disney, Sesame, Busch Gardens, and other places that are totally kid-centric. You want to know something? I didn't really "miss them" those few nights alone. I REVELED in them, lol. I knew they were in the best hands and we did face time. I would miss them if it was some sort of extended type business trip, but for a few nights at the beach, I was happy to have the time to ourselves. I also think it greatly varies depending on your childcare situation. For us, my mil's house is like their own house. I would not leave them somewhere unfamiliar for a vacation. I wouldn't do anything that I thought might make them uncomfortable.



Maybe some people feel "righteous" but I honestly don't I don't do it for any other reason then I have no desire to leave my son for an extended period of time. I am lucky though my parents sometimes vacation with us and they will watch him for a night so we go out, my brother and SIL travel with us and we trade off watching the kids some nights. I have my wine when my son goes to bed and my son sleeps in so I get to also, I guess it deprends on the circumstances--I dont feel like I am missing something or sacaricing I am happy with how things are nothing to be "righteous" about for me

Posted 10/30/13 2:05 PM
 

lynnd126
LIF Adult

Member since 3/11

2630 total posts

Name:

Re: sending your child away for vacation - please tell me i'm not crazy

Posted by DiamondGirl

Posted by REKoz412

Posted by LBBCHGRL

I am also in the minority. Every year since my kids have been born they have spent time with their grandparents overnight. It is usually a week at a time. Sometimes DH and I go away and sometimes we stay home. I figured they did a good job with me so what's the harm to have them watch the kids for a week.



THIS!! For all of you girls having that same confidence in your parents, I have a hard time understanding why an overnight with them is such a big deal. I can sort of get my head around a week...but one night? Please explain if you trust your parent(s) with your child otherwise, what is the reason to keep them from this kind of experience?



I am fine with overnight here or there but not all the time. I work M-F and I don't want or need to leave my child overnight often, he is without me and his father enough M-F. More than a night isn't happening bc when I am at work by 3 pm he is wondering where I am and by 3:30 if I am not there he is crying for me.

Every parent does and should do what they are comfrotable with whether you see the "big deal" or not.



I think part of where your post comes off a bit condescending is that you say you don't want or NEED to leave your child. Jmo.

Posted 10/30/13 2:06 PM
 

DiamondGirl
You are my I love you

Member since 7/09

18802 total posts

Name:
DiamondMama

Re: sending your child away for vacation - please tell me i'm not crazy

Posted by lynnd126

Posted by DiamondGirl

Posted by REKoz412

Posted by LBBCHGRL

I am also in the minority. Every year since my kids have been born they have spent time with their grandparents overnight. It is usually a week at a time. Sometimes DH and I go away and sometimes we stay home. I figured they did a good job with me so what's the harm to have them watch the kids for a week.



THIS!! For all of you girls having that same confidence in your parents, I have a hard time understanding why an overnight with them is such a big deal. I can sort of get my head around a week...but one night? Please explain if you trust your parent(s) with your child otherwise, what is the reason to keep them from this kind of experience?



I am fine with overnight here or there but not all the time. I work M-F and I don't want or need to leave my child overnight often, he is without me and his father enough M-F. More than a night isn't happening bc when I am at work by 3 pm he is wondering where I am and by 3:30 if I am not there he is crying for me.

Every parent does and should do what they are comfrotable with whether you see the "big deal" or not.



I think part of where your post comes off a bit condescending is that you say you don't want or NEED to leave your child. Jmo.



How is that condesceding? I NEED to leave my son M-F bc I work, some people travel for work and NEED to leave their child for a few nights--I do not NEED to, that was all I meant--want covering choice, need covering necessity (for work or other things that are not optional).

eta: I find when you are secure in you're choices you worry less about the choices of others..

Message edited 10/30/2013 2:15:10 PM.

Posted 10/30/13 2:13 PM
 

jax1
Love my baby girl!!!

Member since 3/09

3405 total posts

Name:
Jackie

Re: sending your child away for vacation - please tell me i'm not crazy

No way. Not for me. I would never send my 2,3,4 year old that far away, and honestly I dont know how old she would have to be to let her go away that far. I wouldn't like it! Maybe when she was a lot older and she was asking to go, but nope...no way at this point.

Posted 10/30/13 2:18 PM
 

lynnd126
LIF Adult

Member since 3/11

2630 total posts

Name:

Re: sending your child away for vacation - please tell me i'm not crazy

Posted by DiamondGirl

Posted by lynnd126

Posted by DiamondGirl

Posted by REKoz412

Posted by LBBCHGRL

I am also in the minority. Every year since my kids have been born they have spent time with their grandparents overnight. It is usually a week at a time. Sometimes DH and I go away and sometimes we stay home. I figured they did a good job with me so what's the harm to have them watch the kids for a week.



THIS!! For all of you girls having that same confidence in your parents, I have a hard time understanding why an overnight with them is such a big deal. I can sort of get my head around a week...but one night? Please explain if you trust your parent(s) with your child otherwise, what is the reason to keep them from this kind of experience?



I am fine with overnight here or there but not all the time. I work M-F and I don't want or need to leave my child overnight often, he is without me and his father enough M-F. More than a night isn't happening bc when I am at work by 3 pm he is wondering where I am and by 3:30 if I am not there he is crying for me.

Every parent does and should do what they are comfrotable with whether you see the "big deal" or not.



I think part of where your post comes off a bit condescending is that you say you don't want or NEED to leave your child. Jmo.



How is that condesceding? I NEED to leave my son M-F bc I work, some people travel for work and NEED to leave their child for a few nights--I do not NEED to, that was all I meant--want covering choice, need covering necessity (for work or other things that are not optional).

eta: I find when you are secure in you're choices you worry less about the choices of others..




It sounds like you're trying to say that some people need to get away from their kids but you don't. I'm not apologizing for telling you what your comment sounds like to me, lol. But please, continue to overreact and make nonsense comments that I'm insecure because I've participated in this thread with my thoughts...

Posted 10/30/13 2:21 PM
 

DiamondGirl
You are my I love you

Member since 7/09

18802 total posts

Name:
DiamondMama

Re: sending your child away for vacation - please tell me i'm not crazy

Posted by lynnd126

Posted by DiamondGirl

Posted by lynnd126

Posted by DiamondGirl

Posted by REKoz412

Posted by LBBCHGRL

I am also in the minority. Every year since my kids have been born they have spent time with their grandparents overnight. It is usually a week at a time. Sometimes DH and I go away and sometimes we stay home. I figured they did a good job with me so what's the harm to have them watch the kids for a week.



THIS!! For all of you girls having that same confidence in your parents, I have a hard time understanding why an overnight with them is such a big deal. I can sort of get my head around a week...but one night? Please explain if you trust your parent(s) with your child otherwise, what is the reason to keep them from this kind of experience?



I am fine with overnight here or there but not all the time. I work M-F and I don't want or need to leave my child overnight often, he is without me and his father enough M-F. More than a night isn't happening bc when I am at work by 3 pm he is wondering where I am and by 3:30 if I am not there he is crying for me.

Every parent does and should do what they are comfrotable with whether you see the "big deal" or not.



I think part of where your post comes off a bit condescending is that you say you don't want or NEED to leave your child. Jmo.



How is that condesceding? I NEED to leave my son M-F bc I work, some people travel for work and NEED to leave their child for a few nights--I do not NEED to, that was all I meant--want covering choice, need covering necessity (for work or other things that are not optional).

eta: I find when you are secure in you're choices you worry less about the choices of others..




It sounds like you're trying to say that some people need to get away from their kids but you don't. I'm not apologizing for telling you what your comment sounds like to me, lol. But please, continue to overreact and make nonsense comments that I'm insecure because I've participated in this thread with my thoughts...



My comments and opinions are overreacting nonsense got it.

You can interpret my comment to mean that based on how you feel but that isn't what I meant. There are plenty of times I feel like I need a break from my son , I would imagine most parents have that feeling in fact when I was home with him I found it easier to leave him on weekends but since I have a lot of time away while working I don't feel that as much anymore.

Parents make different choices doesn't make one right and the other wrong .

Posted 10/30/13 2:27 PM
 

Sixofus
LIF Adolescent

Member since 10/13

594 total posts

Name:

Re: sending your child away for vacation - please tell me i'm not crazy

It is totally up to you. You have to do what you feel comfortable with. We have families who are incredibly generous with their time and have taken dc on vacation to Disney and the Bahamas, and have watched dc while dh and I have gone away. A lot, lol. Dh has 2 child free sisters who are amazing, and I worry that when they have kids of their own we will have a lot of babysitting to do!! But if that is not what you want to do, that is ok! Bottom line is they are your children and you don't have to explain yourself to anyone!!

Posted 10/30/13 2:35 PM
 

REKoz412
LIF Infant

Member since 5/10

148 total posts

Name:

Re: sending your child away for vacation - please tell me i'm not crazy

Posted by DiamondGirl

Posted by REKoz412

Posted by LBBCHGRL

I
Every parent does and should do what they are comfrotable with whether you see the "big deal" or not.



No need to get defensive...seriously, I understand well that this world is comprised of many many different individuals with namy many different ideas. Particularly when it comes to parenting.
And thank you for your response because it makes complete sense. What I don't understand is why one is so adament or "uncomfortable" having a child spend the night at grandparents as previously described. Merely looking to understand it.

Posted 10/30/13 2:40 PM
 

lorich
.

Member since 6/05

9987 total posts

Name:
Grammie says "Lora Gina"

Re: sending your child away for vacation - please tell me i'm not crazy

Posted by NervousNell

Hell to the no.



That sums up what I'd say!

Posted 10/30/13 2:44 PM
 
Pages: 1 [2] 3
 

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