so sad and frustrated - could use some support...(long)

ladies, i feel like i am losing it.

i was so happy to have been given the chance to nurse DD after i thought i wouldn't be able to... but it's not working.

after wonderful weight gain on formula, once i started BF (with some formula supplementing) her weight gain plummeted. she only gained an ounce in 5 days. i thought we were doing so well.

but now she'll fall asleep at the breast no matter what i do - i've tried ALL the tricks. once i break out the bottle she perks right up and will drink it. i know that this is not helping my supply issue - but she's SO small as it is, i can't deprive her of food. i've been pumping, but it really does nothing for my supply.

i swore up and down that i wouldn't BF this time if it was going to stress me out - and here i am, AGAIN, so stressed out.

my biggest fear is that if i don't BF she'll get sick from DS and end up in the hospital because her immune system is weak. at this point, i don't even have the perspective to know if that's a rational fear or not.

if you've made it this far, THANKS. i guess i could just use some support

Re: so sad and frustrated - could use some support...(long)

Ultimately you have to do whats best for you!!!!! BFing is such a challenge, especially when you are switching from bottle to breast! As far as your fear, there are plenty of formula fed babies that have older brothers & sisters and are just fine!!! Whatever you decide, we are here for you!!!

Re: so sad and frustrated - could use some support...(long)

Please don't make yourself crazy with breastfeeding versus formula feeding. I did & regret that I stressed so much about it.

My children were bf'd for 8 months & 5 months before I started supplementing. My niece was bf'd until she was almost 3 (no exaggeration!). They all get sick - A LOT.

Breast milk may boost immunity somewhat but I didn't see a significant difference.

Re: so sad and frustrated - could use some support...(long)

You have to do what is best for you. Don't drive yourself crazy. Just for the record, DS has always been formula fed and he old had one (a little congested)cold @ christmas time and he has been out of the house and constantly around people and babies since he was 5 days old

Re: so sad and frustrated - could use some support...(long)

I had stressed out tremendously when I BF'd Abby. It took a lot for me to keep going as long as I did and I didn't do it very long. I think for the next child that we have, I am going to have to think LONG and HARD about if I want to do it. I may be a pumper. I was so incredibly unhappy and I was not able to enjoy the first couple of months of her life. And Abby gained well being BF'd. My advice to you is to make yourself happy and in turn, she will be happy as well.

Re: so sad and frustrated - could use some support...(long)

I swear I am sort of dreading nursing #2.

don't let it upset or frustrate you. enjoy your baby.

you did what you could.

Re: so sad and frustrated - could use some support...(long)

THANK YOU to everyone who responded for being so kind and thoughtful.

i REALLY appreciate it and feel a lot more grounded now. i am going to take each day as it comes. if i have to switch exclusively to formula, so be it... it's hard to not feel like a failure... but i've really tried my best here.

anyhoo... thanks again

Re: so sad and frustrated - could use some support...(long)

Re: so sad and frustrated - could use some support...(long)

Are you pumping enough? Maybe someone on here can help you get more of a supply up with pumping?

Message edited 7/29/2009 7:40:32 PM.

Re: so sad and frustrated - could use some support...(long)

I was so lost first time around on this issue and please give yourself a break. It took for a nurse to finally say to me, "your child is hungry -- give her formula" before I did. Everyone else I spoke to was SO pro-BF that it made me crazy too. The ped said keep trying even though both breasts were infected and bleeding. The lactation consultant said I wasn't laching right and that if I supplemented, I'd be giving up on BF. Most of my friends all said, "it was so hard but I did it" so I felt like I had to keep trying. It was maddening and my DD was so skinny! Finally, a nurse gave me the go ahead to add forumula and it changed my daughter's entire disposition. She slept, wasn't crying all day ... I stopped feeling like a failure.

I'm pg w/ # 2 now. I will try for two weeks. If my supply does not come in again, that's it.

Do what's best for you and your child. Don't make yourself crazy.

Re: so sad and frustrated - could use some support...(long)

I think you are doing a great job and doing all you can to get your little girl off to a good start.

What about a lactation consultant helping you out?

I think also that if you are supplementing, she is still getting the benefits of BM.

Re: so sad and frustrated - could use some support...(long)

Posted by dm24angel



Are you pumping enough? Maybe someone on here can help you get more of a supply up with pumping?

Re: so sad and frustrated - could use some support...(long)

Posted by randella

I think you are doing a great job and doing all you can to get your little girl off to a good start.

What about a lactation consultant helping you out?

I think also that if you are supplementing, she is still getting the benefits of BM.

Re: so sad and frustrated - could use some support...(long)

Re: so sad and frustrated - could use some support...(long)

I am a worrier so I can relate. I didn't BF but I can see your point.

All I can tell you is everyone I know, all with 2+ children did not BF and all their kids did just fine, didn't get sick more than anyone else. I am being 100% honest with you. All the older kids varied in ages.


You have to do what is least stressful of your choices and know you did the best you could.

Re: so sad and frustrated - could use some support...(long)

oh hon...

you have to do what is right for you.... that's what it boils down to.

i'm so sorry i don't have more to offer...my chance to bf was taken away from me when my body didn't do what it was supposed to after birth...

please try to take it one day at a time....

Re: so sad and frustrated - could use some support...(long)

Re: so sad and frustrated - could use some support...(long)

Posted by davenjess

oh hon...

you have to do what is right for you.... that's what it boils down to.

i'm so sorry i don't have more to offer...my chance to bf was taken away from me when my body didn't do what it was supposed to after birth...

please try to take it one day at a time....

Re: so sad and frustrated - could use some support...(long)

If it makes you feel better DD was EBF and she still got sick at 2 months old. It's not a full proof way to keep your DD from getting sick. So I wouldn't stress about that.