Sort of parenting related-Someone tell me this gets easier......

It isn't like me to post about this but my heart is broken. My Mom just left to go back home to NY and I don't know what hurt more-seeing her say goodbye to DD or having to say goodbye to her myself. I've been crying since after dinner last night and haven't really stopped. Why can't I deal with this? Why does it have to hurt so bad.

I knew I was in denial over this (which is not me at all) but it feels so final. It makes me want to leave this house and everything we've dreamed for and just go to her. I had hoped she would really change her mind and think about living here but she says she isn't ready and she "just can't". At this point, I don't think this pain will ever stop. I've been through alot in the past few years and she has always been right by my side. Now I feel like I abandoned her by leaving NY.

I really could use some hugs I guess but mostly, tell me how those of you that are far from your families deal with this. Because I think my strength has run out.

Re: Sort of parenting related-Someone tell me this gets easier......

I dont have much advive but Here is some

and Im sorry that you are so sad...
Im sure this has to be tough to be away from family, esp a mom.

Re: Sort of parenting related-Someone tell me this gets easier......

I have been there, as I mentioned in my FM to you. I cried for a week when I left NY...the only thing I can offer is that it DOES get easier. Hang in there

Re: Sort of parenting related-Someone tell me this gets easier......

I'm am SO sorry!!

I don't have advice, but I can offer support and hugs!!

Re: Sort of parenting related-Someone tell me this gets easier......

I know what u are going though i went though that when my mom helped us move.

Seeing her leave i cired and she did too and we don't have that kind of realinship at all it is hard seeing them leave.

But i did it talk to everyday made it feel better cause i know i was there for a good reason to live.
My mom didn't want to leave ny either to live there.

It will get better

Re: Sort of parenting related-Someone tell me this gets easier......

I hope it gets easier for you.

Re: Sort of parenting related-Someone tell me this gets easier......

Believe me, I can feel your pain

I've been living away from NY for a few years. It only really got hard when I had Johnny.

The only advice I can offer is to stay strong..communicate often by phone and plan visits whenever you can (either going there or her coming to you..).

When my mom visits or I go home for a few days, I really fill up the time and cherish it. One day I hope to be closer but for right now this is where we are, and sometimes I love it and other times I hate it. Especially when there is an event going on that I have to miss b/c its so expensive and hard to travel a lot.

Hang in there......try to enjoy your new home and focus on that as much as you can!! Things will be just fine, I promise!!!!

Re: Sort of parenting related-Someone tell me this gets easier......

Re: Sort of parenting related-Someone tell me this gets easier......

I can't imagine how hard that is. Pick up the phone to call her & start emailing her photos. The more connected you feel, the easier it will be.

On a side note, did you get photoshop working? I figured it out, if you need a walk through.

Re: Sort of parenting related-Someone tell me this gets easier......

I'm sure with time it'll get a lot better sweetie

Re: Sort of parenting related-Someone tell me this gets easier......

I know how hard this can be---I have lived far from my mom about 6 years now---It does get easier, but I still get sad after a visit. We talk on the phone a ton and got a webcam to see DS. It will be okay!!

Re: Sort of parenting related-Someone tell me this gets easier......

I just sent you an FM-it does get better with time. Lots of until then.

Re: Sort of parenting related-Someone tell me this gets easier......

totally crashing...but I've been there too and it is NOT fun.
when I moved to NC I cried everyday for a good 6 months. I was an utter and complete wreck.
Everytime my parents came and left and I would ball like a baby.

With time it does get easier...and at least you have someone you know close by, we didn't know anyone, So I was beyond lonely.
but Once I started to work and make friends, everything brightened up.
and now my parents are looking to move down after the baby comes to be with her and us.

If you need any support def FM...I completely understand what you are going thru!

Re: Sort of parenting related-Someone tell me this gets easier......

Oh Dana!

I can't imagine going thru what you are going thru. It will get easier, I promise!

I'm always here if you need someone to talk to!

Re: Sort of parenting related-Someone tell me this gets easier......

I seriously email out 100 pics daily and 2 videos a week. (ask Colie, its non stop...pics are online within the hour)

I am free as a bee today and in ballantyne.

I can meet you anywhere.

I can get us a free lunch date at Leo's restaurant.

I can meet you for a walk anywhere.

I have a FABULOUS kiddie pool at the YMCA and guest passes burning holes in my wallet.

I have a kiddie museum membership, your baby would be free. I can go there.

tonight I can take you to the best freaking park ever...after 6 PM.

I know your pain. I am sooooooo aware of your pain.

You have to reach out out, throw yourself out there. Be more agressive then ever to get people into your life.

Re: Sort of parenting related-Someone tell me this gets easier......

i dont have advice, but here are HUGS

Re: Sort of parenting related-Someone tell me this gets easier......

I have to do this on a regular basis with my family as I live so far away. It doesn't really bother me, and I never get down about it because I have a bit of a mantra that I say to myself, I say that this is the lifestyle that I chose and these are the things that go along with this lifestyle. Its one of the sacrifices that comes along with choosing to live somewhere else.

If you feel like you are far away, you will feel worse. Just keep talking on the phone everyday, skype whatever. Just keep talking to your mother. It will get easier. I can't promise, but if you have a positive attitude about making good choices for yourself and your family, you will feel better.

Re: Sort of parenting related-Someone tell me this gets easier......

My situation is a little bit different. We moved to Chicago when I was 3 months pg with DD. My parents already had moved to Florida back in '98 so I wasn't really moving away from them. It was still hard to be away from the rest of our family & friends in NY. I do think it has gotten easier as we have made more of a life for ourselves here. We are about to buy a house out in the 'burbs and I'm hoping we make lots more friends there, which will make it even easier. I just keep reminding myself that we have a much better life out here. I could never have been a SAHM in NY and we would not have been able to afford a house nearly as nice & big as the one we're buying out here.

Message edited 7/9/2008 12:08:16 PM.

Re: Sort of parenting related-Someone tell me this gets easier......

i'm so sorry....i can really tell how upset you are through your words. Def. agree with other suggestions, photos, videos, e-mails, phone calls.

I only live 2 hours from my parents and while i don't cry when they leave I often really hate that we don't live closer. Especially with the baby. And it seems like our visits are always so short.

We've been planning a move to Charlotte in the next few years but have now put that on hold because of the impact it would have on my parents and inlaws. MIL says she'd NEVER move down south. My parents might but who knows. Not sure if I'm ready to go through with it now or if I'll ever be. Eventually my job might force me to. And I can totally see feeling the way you feel right now.

Re: Sort of parenting related-Someone tell me this gets easier......

Although it si not the saem, my paretns live 6 months in florida. I miss them terribly when they are gone, and it stinks. It seems to get a bit easier, but it does make the time you spend with them so much more special.

What helps while they are in FL is that we have cameras on the computer so the kids can see them and my parents can see them.

Re: Sort of parenting related-Someone tell me this gets easier......

I can sort of relate. My mom lives 3.5 hours from here, my sister is 6 hours from here. Every time they come to visit and hug DD goodbye, they cry, and so do I That's the most sad, that they won't see DD for a while She's a year old, and it hasn't gotten any easier.

It will get better, eventually Sounds like Janice has lots of fun things for you to do!

Re: Sort of parenting related-Someone tell me this gets easier......

Believe me you'll get used to it.
I am extremely close to my family, especially my mom, but I have been away from them for 10 years now. When I first came to the US I didn't see my family again for 7 years.
And since I got my green card I only get to see them once a year or so.
I haven't been back since summer of 2006, and they haven't even met my DD yet (we are going to visit this fall) Sometimes I miss them so much, but it's not as bad as it used to be.
It's very hard(even if you talk to your mother 5 times a day every single day,which I do ) but as I said you'll get used to it. As your new place becomes your home, things will change, and you will miss your mom little less than you do now, it'll get better.
Lots of for you .You are going through a lot of change and it's taking it's toll , just hang in there.

Re: Sort of parenting related-Someone tell me this gets easier......

It's hard but it does get easier. You kind of get "use to" it.

My suggestions are getting a national telephone plan, emails and webcam for the baby.

Re: Sort of parenting related-Someone tell me this gets easier......

I don't think your mom would want you to drop everything and move back to NY just for her.

Re: Sort of parenting related-Someone tell me this gets easier......

I'm so sorry.
Hugs for you.