spinoff to hospital visitors/coming out party

is it common to let ppl know u
dont want them there at the hospital and dont want them to start showing up at your house the second you get home???

im just trying to figure out if ppl are going to look at us like we're crazy.

if u have a coming out party for baby...when would it be?

Re: spinoff to hospital visitors/coming out party

It is common to limit visitors and such, but it seems as if most people either dont listen or take offense to it. And they will look at you like you're crazy. But you have that right!

My sis and m-i-l were insisting on throwing me a "sprinkle" for this baby. I didnt really want it since this is #3, but decided to do the Coming Out party maybe 3 or 4 weeks after she's born since no one can see her in the hospital (except thru the window) due to my hospital's policies.

Re: spinoff to hospital visitors/coming out party

Honestly, it depends on your family and friends. If I said that to my family, or my DH's family, they would be VERY offended and then laugh - LOL there is no way they wouldn't come to the hospital. I have been to the hospital for all my nieces, nephews, baby cousins and now even close friends!

If you feel that your family would respect your wishes, I guess you could ask them!

Re: spinoff to hospital visitors/coming out party

I don't know if it is common to let people know you don't want them to randomly come by but I wish it were- lol

imo, people aren't really thinking of the mother's needs & discomforts after birth, they just want to see & hold the baby. Before my BFP, I always asked the new mother to let me know when it is ok for me to come by but not everyone is like that.

I guess you could have a coming out party whenever you feel up to it & think your baby is up for it.

Re: spinoff to hospital visitors/coming out party

I don't know if it's common but with my first DS, I let people know that I didn't really want visitors in the hospital. I also didn't want people to visit the second I came home. I didn't care if people were offended because I know that those who would be offended either really don't know me, or don't care about me. It's what I wanted and to me, that's all that's important after the birth of my child. Like a pp said, I always asked when it was good for a new mommy for me to come visit. I would want others to do the same for me.
With this pregnancy, I kind of have a feeling that most people will wait until I come home. Only my immediate family and closest friends will ask to come visit and I will let them know if it's ok and not feel bad if I tell them to wait until I get home.

Re: spinoff to hospital visitors/coming out party

thanks girls! i just wanted to see what the general idea was on these things.

i let new parents just do their thing and let us know when theyre ready but i dont think thats normal!

Re: spinoff to hospital visitors/coming out party

Sometimes you just have to take the lead and tell folks what you want.

Our families have been told more than enough times that it is just to be the two of us the day we come home as a family.

We also told them we prefer nobody comes to the hospital till I say it is ok.


Depending on how we are doing I'm sure we'll have people over the weekend following his arrival.

Re: spinoff to hospital visitors/coming out party

I don't know if you have too much control about who comes to visit at the hospital, but I think you can control who comes to your house by setting some groundrules. I am going to make it clear that I will give the OK when it is time to show up at my house. I want to spend some time home with DH an It may drive them crazy, but my family will understand.

Re: spinoff to hospital visitors/coming out party

I think I will make the announcement to everyone that we don't want any visitors at the hospital or at home except immediate family, and my MIL can spread the word. We will let them know we will have a coming out party probably 3 weeks after is born. I don't want to have to entertain one person after another at the hospital or at home - I'd rather do it all in one day once I'm feeling up to it. I really want the time in the hospital to bond with (besides the whole issue of privacy).