spinoff underage drinking- what age is appropriate to teach your children about sex? or have the period talk with your daughter?

i always wondered what age is appropriate to start the talk about the birds and the bees... where babies come from... and periods.. etc
10? 13?
its so scary to think that they can get their info from friends.. and i feel like kids are learning earlier and earlier.
i just get freaked out with all those crazy stories about girls having oral sex in grammar school and then wearing bracelets as their claim to fame...

what age is appropriate to start talking?

Re: spinoff underage drinking- what age is appropriate to teach your children about sex? or have the period talk with your daughter?

In my opinion, its NEVER to early to start talking about it and relating the information to the child's age.
From age 1 on my DD knows that her vagina is for her only- Mommy and Daddy can clean it but that its private and for her only. She also knows the correct names for all her body parts.
As soon as they start to ask, I think its a good idea to keep it simple but explain what they ask. For example, where do babies come from? I would ask why do you want to know(narrows down the answer) but give a simple answer based on age.

By 7 or 8 I think they should have some knowledge about how their bodies work, including periods and things like that. If these conversations are a normal part of your routine, it becomes less embarrassing and more likely your DD would come to you for information first.

I was brought up this way and it was wonderful for me. I was as curious about sex as some of my friends and knew that it wasn't something meaningless to just give away. I didn't feel the same peer pressure to have sex right away as some of my friends who never talked about sex with their parents felt.

Re: spinoff underage drinking- what age is appropriate to teach your children about sex? or have the period talk with your daughter?

I vividly remember that when I was in third grade this girl in my class got her period for the first time. She was freaking out. My mom was in the class that day as the class mom - we had just gone on a field trip. My mom went to the store and got this girl pads b/c TMI she was bleeding everywhere. Her mother had told her nothing. She was so scared. My mom explained what it was to this poor girl.

That night my mom explained EVERYTHING to me. In extremely graphic detail. I don't plan on having such a graphic conversation the first time with my DS. I will start the conversation gradually - i.e. when he asks about where do babies come from and gradually move from there. I will have continuing conversations with him as he gets older. I think a general birds and bees discusssion at 7-8 is ok. But I think even 4 or 5 when they ask about babies you need to have an answer.

ETS: I completely agree with CKGM. DS is 16 months old and he knows the correct names for his body parts.

Message edited 12/30/2008 11:04:24 PM.

Re: spinoff underage drinking- what age is appropriate to teach your children about sex? or have the period talk with your daughter?

Re: spinoff underage drinking- what age is appropriate to teach your children about sex? or have the period talk with your daughter?

Am I bad...I don't even want to think of this. Well I don't have kids but still I don't even want to think of this.

My mother actually never had this talk with me I think I turned out ok...I don't want to avoid the talk any children if we have them some day

Re: spinoff underage drinking- what age is appropriate to teach your children about sex? or have the period talk with your daughter?

My Mom told me to ask my sister. My sister handed my the lil Kotex books that said "What Every Woman Should Know" on the cover with an iris on the cover.

Ill tell my kids as soon as I think they can handle it.

Re: spinoff underage drinking- what age is appropriate to teach your children about sex? or have the period talk with your daughter?

My daughter is 2 and already knows what a period is. I mean, not why it happens or how, but she comes in the bathroom with me and I'm not about to hide it like she shouldn't know about it. She kind of just shrugs it off after I tell her. But I want her to be able to ask me anything at all about it as she gets older, and I will most likely speak to her about it more at length when she's around 8, since that's the age I got my period.
As for sex, when they're little, they ask questions, and I believe in answering truthfully, but with age appropriate answers, and I will just take it from there as to how much I tell her. But I would imagine around 8 would be the time for me to explain sex to her, as I will most likely be talking to her about her period then, as well.

Re: spinoff underage drinking- what age is appropriate to teach your children about sex? or have the period talk with your daughter?

not sure about this... my parents never had 'the talk' with me or my sis i dont think... i know i talked to my younger brother about it.. i feel like i had to if my parents didnt.. i think he was in 10th grade... maybe 9th...

my mother cant even say sex without

Re: spinoff underage drinking- what age is appropriate to teach your children about sex? or have the period talk with your daughter?

My niece got her period the week before her 9th birthday, so I would say 8 for that. The sex talk would be right after that.


I do remember the night before I got married I hollered into my parents room across the hall 'Aren't you going to give me that special talk?' I thought my mother was going to pee all over her bedroom floor laughing. She did ask if I wanted to though.

Re: spinoff underage drinking- what age is appropriate to teach your children about sex? or have the period talk with your daughter?

I just had the period talk with my dd she is 9 . As for the sex talk I am going to ask her doc when he thinks its appropriate ,but if she confronts me with any questions before hand I will answer them

Re: spinoff underage drinking- what age is appropriate to teach your children about sex? or have the period talk with your daughter?

I guess it depends on your comfort level and the comfort level of your child.

When I was pregnant my 2 year old asked me how a baby got in my belly and my genius sister told him that his dad had put the baby there - which opened up a whole series of questions. Although we didn't give him the facts of life EXACTLY - he did know that babies were the result of a very special cuddle.

When he was 6ish he came home from kindergarten saying "Sperm, sperm, sperm" and loaded with information gathered from a classmate. BAD information about sex and his role in it. So we wound up giving him a biology lesson way earlier than I ever would have intended. But he's fine with it and he has been told that the information he's armed with is not intended for other children. He's relatively mature for a 7 year old and I haven't gotten any frenzied calls from his friends asking why my child knows the terms uterus or spermatazoa.. so far so good!

My 5 year old - on the other hand - is less mature and has not approached us about the birds and the bees. So we've said nothing. I guess we will handle it with him if/when he has questions - but likely somewhere around 11 if he doesn't ask.

ETA: I got the 'sex' talk when I was 6 because my eldest sister and her husband were pregnant with their first child. My sis gave me a SUPER in depth description of how it works... with charts and pictures and everything. I was grossed out at the time - but not traumatized. In fact - I was MORE traumatized by her description of the Revelation in the bible.

Message edited 12/31/2008 6:30:33 AM.

Re: spinoff underage drinking- what age is appropriate to teach your children about sex? or have the period talk with your daughter?

Re: spinoff underage drinking- what age is appropriate to teach your children about sex? or have the period talk with your daughter?

Well - girls and boys usually watch the video in 5th grade, which puts them at 10/11 years old. Personally, I would want to talk to my children about it before the school does, so they know what to expect and are not overly embarrassed. When I was younger, my mom rented a video and showed it to us. She then allowed us to ask questions and what not. We had a pretty open relationship with her about this topic, which I really think is important. Plus, some girls get their periods young, so it is best for them to be prepared.

Re: spinoff underage drinking- what age is appropriate to teach your children about sex? or have the period talk with your daughter?