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SweetCin
My green-eyed boy
Member since 5/05 13499 total posts
Name:
Cin
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Sticky Mom issue...how to handle?
My mom has been wonderful since DD was born...helping out, staying over, taking her when MIL couldn't, etc.
Here's the thing...for a while she was taking her one night or so a week...I'd drop her off Wed. night (6 or so) & then pick her up Thurs. night or Friday night (& then have dinner/stay over---DH works nights).
Well anyway....long story short...my mom keeps offering to take her (every week)...they live far away enough that there's no way I could drop her off & then pick her up the same day.
I HATE telling my mom no, b/c my bro/SIL live in CT & they RARELY see my nieces & that upsets my mom...she said when DD was born she was going to make sure that doesn't happen w/ our DD.
Anyway, I TRULY MISS when she's gone & she's so much fun lately & I hate being away from her. YET I also don't want to "take time away from grandma/grandpa"....especially b/c my MIL watches her while I work (but she lives close & I pick her up by 4pm every day).
Not sure how to handle...I don't want to offend my mom, & I want DD to spend time w/ them, but don't want it to be every week like it was. I just don't want there to be hard feelings.
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Posted 3/31/08 9:25 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
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Re: Sticky Mom issue...how to handle?
Can you try and fade it to every other week?
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| Posted 3/31/08 9:27 PM |
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patti08
Happy
Member since 5/05 3893 total posts
Name:
Patti
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Re: Sticky Mom issue...how to handle?
I'm not sure how sensitively your Mom would take it, but I think the way you just explained it is exactly the way to tell her. It acknowledges how helpful she's been, her feelings and her fear of not seeing your DD. It will also help her to understand your feelings. I think as long as you let her know that you are not in any way cutting her off she'll understand. After all, she knows what it's like to raise a daughter. 
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| Posted 3/31/08 9:50 PM |
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Calla
My girls
Member since 7/05 4303 total posts
Name:
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Re: Sticky Mom issue...how to handle?
Can she come stay with you?
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| Posted 4/1/08 5:38 AM |
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justthe4ofus
I hate hypocrites!!!!!
Member since 5/05 6905 total posts
Name:
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Re: Sticky Mom issue...how to handle?
I would tell her everything that you said here. Then I would say mom can we do one week you come here and stay and then next I will bring her to you. This way you only will lose once every other week. Make it sound like an excellent girls bonding thing. 
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| Posted 4/1/08 6:46 AM |
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partyof6
b nice like u want ur kidz 2
Member since 7/06 7752 total posts
Name:
jeannine
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Re: Sticky Mom issue...how to handle?
yes! do that! tell her exactly how u feel---explain it like I know u understand..and tell her it made u realize u miss spending time with her like that---like when u were lilttle...
can your dd stay one week and the next week she come to you and stay so all three of u spend time together,
its nice your mom does that...so many people don't have that...
def try to improvise.
good luck!
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| Posted 4/1/08 6:48 AM |
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CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
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Re: Sticky Mom issue...how to handle?
That's a tough one; I would just be honest. It's hard, but as a mom herself she has to understand. I would also try the invite her out to you if that works.
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| Posted 4/1/08 8:08 AM |
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lbelle821
Arghhhhh
Member since 2/06 5285 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: Sticky Mom issue...how to handle?
this is funny because I have the exact same arrangement with my MIL. She watches DS on Thursdays and Fridays. It started out that she would come get him REALLY early on Thursday and then we'd pick him up on Friday. Now it has evolved to her getting him Wednesday night and DH picks him up on Friday so he is home by the time I get back from work. The reason is because he goes to sleep so early that it didn't matter too much because I wouldn't see him anyway. But what happened is that now I don't even get to see him on Thursday mornings (when i'm usually just rushing around trying to get ready anyway).
Anyway, I TOTALLY understand the missing him part. I feel it so much more now. I used to be completely fine with it and now I find that it is SO long. My MIL loves DS and enjoys spending the time with him (as well as my 2 SILs who also still live at home). I haven't thought about changing the arrangement yet but only recently started thinking about it.
The way I would handle it is to do it every other week like abover posters said. This way she gets her time and you get yours. It is important to me that he gets to spend time with his grandmother, especially since FIL passed away last year so I think DS brings her a lot of joy back into her life. But she's your daughter and your mom probably will understand that you want to be with her as much as possible because it is hard enough that we have to spend our days without them.
Good luck!!!
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| Posted 4/1/08 9:07 AM |
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Re: Sticky Mom issue...how to handle?
That is a long time to be away from DD. I would just explain it to her. She's a mom she will understand.
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| Posted 4/1/08 9:28 AM |
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Kelly9904
Mommy to 2 amazing little boys
Member since 5/05 9306 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: Sticky Mom issue...how to handle?
Posted by Calla
Can she come stay with you?
Thats what I was thinking, maybe every other week she can take your DD and then in between she can stay by you so you get 3 generations bonding!
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| Posted 4/1/08 9:31 AM |
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