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cateyemm
Twins!
Member since 7/10 8027 total posts
Name:
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Tell me it gets easier
Even though I wont believe you.
Im having a tough time.
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Posted 10/2/11 9:53 PM  |
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MrsMessina
Thankful for our miracles!
Member since 2/07 7254 total posts
Name:
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Re: Tell me it gets easier
I can't. I know it will.... but right now, I can't. 
I have been ready to scream all weekend. Everywhere I turn are pregnant women, or families w/ children. I feel like I've cried more this weekend than I have in the last 2 weeks. 
I think it will get a little better once we have some answers... for me at least. It wil force me to look forward instead of hanging out in limbo like I am right now. This is my 6th m/c, but the first time we ever made it to the point of actually seeing their heartbeats... I know for me that is what has made it even worse than the other times. That being said, once we get the D&C report back and the immunological report back, I'm hoping we will have some answers, and can start to see what (if anything) needs to be changed for next time. I'm terrified of trying again, but I told my DH if we don't try, we'll never get there... Ugh this all just sucks.
I'm still sore and still bleeding. It's been 12 days! I went to the dr who did my D&C on Thursday and he gave me a shot in the arm for pain since I ran out of percocet. He refused to refill it b/c there was a chance I could become addicted.  I took a 3 days supply over 9+ days... hardly looks addictive to me but whatever. 
Anyway, I came on to see how you are doing and saw this so I figured I'd reply... Hang in there. There has to be light at the end of the tunnel, ... we're just not seeing it right now.
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| Posted 10/2/11 10:07 PM |
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FLS2011
LIF Infant
Member since 8/11 282 total posts
Name:
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Re: Tell me it gets easier
I'm so sorry. As someone who has been there 3 times, I can tell you that it does get easier, but you will be forever changed. There are days when you think you are never going to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but then there are the days when you feel hope. I know that it helped me to just allow myself to feel whatever I needed to feel, even if it changed minute by minute. Sometimes, I would just want to be alone and grieve, other times I wanted to be surrounded by friends and family who knew what I was going through, and if I had a breakdown, they would be suportative. For now, just allow yourself time to grieve and surround yourself with people who are compassionate.
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| Posted 10/3/11 9:18 AM |
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Megs4
LIF Adult
Member since 11/08 1619 total posts
Name:
Megan
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Re: Tell me it gets easier
It does get easier, but it never goes away. At least not for me in the three months it has been.
Just take the time you need to grieve, cry, yell, anything. I found that talking about it helped - keeping it in, and keeping it a secret made it worse.
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| Posted 10/3/11 9:46 AM |
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cateyemm
Twins!
Member since 7/10 8027 total posts
Name:
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Re: Tell me it gets easier
I have a ton of family and friends calling, texting etc. but I wont talk to any of them. I have no idea how im ever going to face them again. I cant even get out of bed without bawling.
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| Posted 10/3/11 10:05 AM |
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cateyemm
Twins!
Member since 7/10 8027 total posts
Name:
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Re: Tell me it gets easier
Posted by MrsMessina
I can't. I know it will.... but right now, I can't.
I have been ready to scream all weekend. Everywhere I turn are pregnant women, or families w/ children. I feel like I've cried more this weekend than I have in the last 2 weeks.
I think it will get a little better once we have some answers... for me at least. It wil force me to look forward instead of hanging out in limbo like I am right now. This is my 6th m/c, but the first time we ever made it to the point of actually seeing their heartbeats... I know for me that is what has made it even worse than the other times. That being said, once we get the D&C report back and the immunological report back, I'm hoping we will have some answers, and can start to see what (if anything) needs to be changed for next time. I'm terrified of trying again, but I told my DH if we don't try, we'll never get there... Ugh this all just sucks.
I'm still sore and still bleeding. It's been 12 days! I went to the dr who did my D&C on Thursday and he gave me a shot in the arm for pain since I ran out of percocet. He refused to refill it b/c there was a chance I could become addicted. I took a 3 days supply over 9+ days... hardly looks addictive to me but whatever.
Anyway, I came on to see how you are doing and saw this so I figured I'd reply... Hang in there. There has to be light at the end of the tunnel, ... we're just not seeing it right now.
Omg, did the doc say what the reason was for your pain? Shouldnt it be subsiding by now? Im having really bad cramping too the past two days, so I took an old percocet but it didnt do anything. Id keep bothering the doctor about the pain until he does something to give you relief or at least an explanation.
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| Posted 10/3/11 10:08 AM |
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Megs4
LIF Adult
Member since 11/08 1619 total posts
Name:
Megan
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Re: Tell me it gets easier
Posted by cateyemm
I have a ton of family and friends calling, texting etc. but I wont talk to any of them. I have no idea how im ever going to face them again. I cant even get out of bed without bawling.
I was like that at first but I found it was better to just open up to people - to not try to hide it or avoid it. Trying to be normal when I was forever changed was the worst, so I just stopped trying. If I cried, I cried.
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| Posted 10/3/11 10:27 AM |
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StaceyWill
It's a girl!!!
Member since 6/10 21539 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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Re: Tell me it gets easier
Every day, it will get a little easier. My advice is cry, sob, kick, scream- let it out. I was in denial when my mc happened. And then one day it hit me like a ton of bricks.
I'm so sorry again!!!
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| Posted 10/3/11 10:56 AM |
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FLS2011
LIF Infant
Member since 8/11 282 total posts
Name:
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Re: Tell me it gets easier
Posted by cateyemm
I have a ton of family and friends calling, texting etc. but I wont talk to any of them. I have no idea how im ever going to face them again. I cant even get out of bed without bawling.
They will understand if you don't answer or return calls and just want to let you know that they are thinking of you. If they don't understand - too bad. Focus on you and your DH's healing and lean on people when necessary and on the same note - tune people out when necessary!
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| Posted 10/3/11 11:25 AM |
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BigSmooch
LIF Adolescent
Member since 12/10 747 total posts
Name:
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Re: Tell me it gets easier
It does. It took a long time for me. The first 3 months were horrible. By 6 months after I had accepted it and started to move on. I really let it consume me for awhile and that made it even harder for my DH to heal :(
You are forever changed and it's not something other people will understand unless they have gone through it themselves. It's especially hard when there are reminders everywhere.
Hang in there, I promise, it does get easier.
Message edited 10/3/2011 12:01:40 PM.
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| Posted 10/3/11 12:01 PM |
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MRsFaTThead
NY GIRL IN TEXAS
Member since 6/10 5483 total posts
Name:
WHO GIVES A POO WHO GIVES A FUDGE !!
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Re: Tell me it gets easier
Posted by cateyemm
I have a ton of family and friends calling, texting etc. but I wont talk to any of them. I have no idea how im ever going to face them again. I cant even get out of bed without bawling.
i only send the messages to let you know how much i care mama
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| Posted 10/3/11 2:16 PM |
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jacksmom09
LIF Adolescent
Member since 6/10 687 total posts
Name:
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Re: Tell me it gets easier
Posted by FLS2011
I'm so sorry. As someone who has been there 3 times, I can tell you that it does get easier, but you will be forever changed. There are days when you think you are never going to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but then there are the days when you feel hope. I know that it helped me to just allow myself to feel whatever I needed to feel, even if it changed minute by minute. Sometimes, I would just want to be alone and grieve, other times I wanted to be surrounded by friends and family who knew what I was going through, and if I had a breakdown, they would be suportative. For now, just allow yourself time to grieve and surround yourself with people who are compassionate.
This is exactly my advice. I too, have been through this twice, and it does forever change you.. but, it will def get easier! I had a m/c and a healthy little boy, then just had a D&C today b/c I just lost another pregnancy at 12 weeks. But, As the PP poster said, allow yourself to feel whatever emotions you are feeling even if they change minute by minute. I hope that everything works out for you and I am so sorry for your loss!
Many hugs and each day will get better!
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| Posted 10/3/11 6:15 PM |
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Jax430
Hi!
Member since 5/05 18919 total posts
Name:
Jackie
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Re: Tell me it gets easier
I was never as far along as you when I had my losses, but I can tell you that after each one, it did get easier with time. I always thought I'd never be able to move forward with TTC and/or IF treatments again, but somehow, I always found the strength. You will too.
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| Posted 10/3/11 7:38 PM |
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beachgirl
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 7967 total posts
Name:
sara
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Re: Tell me it gets easier
My experience has been that on a daily basis it has gotten easier - I do honestly think about the baby every single day and wonder about it but its not as intensely painful as it was for the first 2-3 months. having said that out of the blue something happens to remind me of my loss and it knocks the wind out of me for a few days - this past week I meet a girl that I had not seen for awhile and she was pregnant and I congratulated her and asked her when she was due and she said december and I literally froze on the spot and just stared at her tummy. I was due in december and all I could think of was how far along she was, how big her bump was and how this would have been me and that would have been my bump and my baby and it really threw me.
Thankfully my kids were with me and they caused a distraction so I was able to pull myself back to reality, congratulate her and move along but it really brought me down... I told DH later that day and he said "dont worry that will be you again" but it really doesn't help.
Long story short, it gets "easier" but its a long process and it still hurts.
I am so sorry
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| Posted 10/3/11 7:57 PM |
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Re: Tell me it gets easier
It gets easier..I promise
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| Posted 10/4/11 10:06 AM |
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