Terrible 2's? Just a difficult child? or I can't handle a toddler?

DD is 2 & a half & she constantly whines, cries or yells over everything & it's driving me insane!
Every single thing is a battle!
The second she wakes up, she asks "where we going today mommy?" & whatever I say she throws her face in the pillow & yells no, i don't want to.
From that it's "I don't want these panties, I want princess ones" & then on to breakfast & so on.
I just don't know how to handle her any more.
I used to give her a choice of 2 things so she could feel like a big girl & have an option but that doesn't work at all anymore.
I've tried being more firm so she knows I'm the boss as well as trying to make light of some things by making jokes & distracting her from being cranky but nothing works.
She is the sweetest, smartest little thing but just so difficult & I don't have the energy to battle it out every day, I'm loosing it!
Any suggestions? Does this ever end?
Of course I feel guilty complaining because we do have great times in between all this & she is a happy healthy kid so I know I a m lucky but I could use advice.

Re: Terrible 2's? Just a difficult child? or I can't handle a toddler?

No advice but I am there with you. My first son was the perfect kid so easy agreeable reasonable, etc. Our second son is the total opposite. He is stubborn, head strong, demanding, dramatic....I could go on. Of course he is crazy smart, very caring and loves to help. But the 50% of the time he is acting like a crazy possessed person drives me crazy. I have told dh that he makes me question my abilities as a mom.

I just keep my first gets crossed that we are one day closer to the end of what I pray is just a phase. Good luck

Re: Terrible 2's? Just a difficult child? or I can't handle a toddler?

Hate to tell u this but 3 is worse. Im hoping 4 is better

Re: Terrible 2's? Just a difficult child? or I can't handle a toddler?

My youngest is the exact same way and she is only 19 months! Everything my dh and I say to her is meet with a no, I don't want to, I don't like it, it's not fair (which she gets from her big sister). Everything is a battle. I try to pick battles. I think to myself will this matter in the long run? For example this weekend she refused to put pants on. I tried several times to get them on because it's cold out and than I said you know what forget it. If she is cold she will ask for her pants. I told her Aubrey I'm leaving your pants here and when you want them on ask mommy. About 20 mins later she decided she wanted pants. I think because she and I are so similar it often becomes a battle of the wills. I'm trying to just remain calm and not so her frustration. I think as soon as she smells frustration she gets into fighting mode and than the whining and screaming start. She is so strong willed which I do love about her because I am the same way. I pray her attitude will keep her on a good path as a teen and she will stick to what she believes in. For now the days are often long and with a lot of tantrums.

Re: Terrible 2's? Just a difficult child? or I can't handle a toddler?

Re: Terrible 2's? Just a difficult child? or I can't handle a toddler?

Posted by GoldenRod

Posted by TtcDc2

Hate to tell u this but 3 is worse. Im hoping 4 is better

ITA, and it depends on the child. Usually around 4 they revert back to humans again...

Re: Terrible 2's? Just a difficult child? or I can't handle a toddler?

Dd was a nightmare from exactly 1-21/2. She turned into a monster on her first birthday literally. Tantrums, everything was a screaming fit, hated the stroller, car, life itself lol. The only place I could put her safely for timeouts was her crib. She spent many hours in there lol. I have no real advice b/c we were lucky to get through some days but hang in there. She calmed down at almost 3 and we are headed in the right direction she will be 4 in May. 3 was better for us , slightly, but it was almost 2 yrs of torture. It's not you at all. They are trying to be big but can't yet. Hang in there

Terrible 2's? Just a difficult child? or I can't handle a toddler?

I can relate! Ds is 2 3/4 and he's been not so pleasurable as of late. Yesterday he was mad because I wouldn't take him to friendlys for lunch. In my head I'm like "who does this kid think he is?" My dh and I call him "the boss." He's also a sweet, smart guy but definitely has had his moments. I really think it's typical for the age and have also heard 3s are worse, so god help us

Re: Terrible 2's? Just a difficult child? or I can't handle a toddler?

Re: Terrible 2's? Just a difficult child? or I can't handle a toddler?

My dd is/was the same way starting around 2 1/2
My only advice is to be consistent.
If she knows what is expected it will get better
After a few months dd has finally learned no is no. She no longer whines, screams, bites etc when I say no. It took a while of saying no and ignoring her behavior but it has helped. Once I reallyset limits and structure things got worse before they got better, however it was worth it in the end. My dd is the type of kid if you give her an inch she takes a mile...so I now know I can't "give in" to her.

Terrible 2's? Just a difficult child? or I can't handle a toddler?

There is an article my sister just sent me on yahoo about something similar I believe. My sister just sent it - I haven't read it thoroughly..
See what you think:
http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/toddlers-why-bad-seed-theory-isn-39-t-192800848.html

Re: Terrible 2's? Just a difficult child? or I can't handle a toddler?

I am in hell as well with my youngest- he is 1.5 & I feel sad when he gets into his tantrums thinking is my child really that miserable? The thing is my first had his difficult stage from 1.5yrs to 2.5 yrs so I know it gets better.

Yesterday, my 1.5 yr old refused breakfast & threw a 1 hr tantrum. He finally ate after an hr.
Then for dinner, he threw another 1 hr tantrum so he didn't eat- I can't give in to this kid- he is very stubborn- if he wins at this age, it's over for me. I thought I was going to loose it last night & I woke with a headache but it will get better.

Re: Terrible 2's? Just a difficult child? or I can't handle a toddler?

DD is the same now at almost 3. Everything is a battle, eating, changing, everything! I'm just bracing myself as everyone says it only gets worse. But just know it's normal!

Terrible 2's? Just a difficult child? or I can't handle a toddler?

My DD is same way. There is minimal pleasing her, if any at all. It's her way, or.... her way. It's very draining. We have a few good days here and there but for the most part it's a daily battle. I yell a lot, and I don't want to.

Re: Terrible 2's? Just a difficult child? or I can't handle a toddler?

lol- seems like I'm the only one who's kid got better at 2.5 - 3. I will take it because there was a year when we couldn't leave the house with him at one point. AND now I get to relive that with his brother.

Re: Terrible 2's? Just a difficult child? or I can't handle a toddler?

Re: Terrible 2's? Just a difficult child? or I can't handle a toddler?

My son turned 2 in November and lately has been pretty difficult as well. He's just been very whiny, gets upset over every little thing, throwing things, biting............I never had any of these problems (or at least not this bad) with my daughter who is now 4.


some days i'm just like

Re: Terrible 2's? Just a difficult child? or I can't handle a toddler?

Re: Terrible 2's? Just a difficult child? or I can't handle a toddler?

DS was so good while he was 2. Once he turned 3...ugh whining, crying, talking back

Re: Terrible 2's? Just a difficult child? or I can't handle a toddler?

Posted by GoldenRod

Posted by TtcDc2

Hate to tell u this but 3 is worse. Im hoping 4 is better

ITA, and it depends on the child. Usually around 4 they revert back to humans again...

Re: Terrible 2's? Just a difficult child? or I can't handle a toddler?

I'm glad I'm not alone.
Some days...most days, I feel like there's no way this is normal but I guess it is.
I was always such a patient, easy going person & now I blow up at everything.
My husband thinks I am absolutely nuts & tells me I can't let her get to me but he's only with her about a half hour every other day with his ridiculous schedule! It really doesn't help when he's never around. Enough complaining here-thanks for letting me

Re: Terrible 2's? Just a difficult child? or I can't handle a toddler?

Posted by tomcat

Posted by GoldenRod

Posted by TtcDc2

Hate to tell u this but 3 is worse. Im hoping 4 is better

ITA, and it depends on the child. Usually around 4 they revert back to humans again...

Terrible 2's? Just a difficult child? or I can't handle a toddler?

OMG.. this my DD. She is such a loving, sweet child but goodness, gracious there are days and times where I'm like what has possessed her?! I try being strict, firm, soft, loving nothing works.. and then sometimes we both sit and cry because I feel like such a failure when I can't help her, and sometimes I just walk away for a few to compose myself.

Re: Terrible 2's? Just a difficult child? or I can't handle a toddler?

The key is to stay consistent. It's not that she doesn't want those panties - she wants to call the shots. And she will try to do that every step of the way.

I really agree with the choice of two approach. And if she doesn't want either, then say "OK, then I pick." and you pick one of the two things. Same for eating. "carrots or broccoli" and if she said "no!" or gives another suggestion, I would say "that wasn't one of the choices. carrots or broccoli." And stick to your guns.

Also, if you don't allow something - then don't allow it all the time. Not just when it's convenient. Before you say No, think hard about whether you are ready for the fight every time she tries you.

I remember when my son was 2-3, the first thing I would think is "Is it that bad? Will he get hurt?" lol. Because you really have to pick your battles.

Re: Terrible 2's? Just a difficult child? or I can't handle a toddler?

Just curious, you say you used to give her choices but that doesn't work anymore. What is her response when you give her the choices? Have you outright asked her what she wants to do to hear whether it is plausible?

It's called the terrible twos for a reason. That reason is that at this age children learn they do have a sense of autonomy, but haven't yet mastered the concept of reciprocity. Eg, not washing DD princess undies for the third day in a row makes you a meanie bc she can't wear them. There is little understanding behind the fact that washing them every day for her is not realistic or fair. Even if you showed her what goes into cleaning them, she is likely not going to understand the concept of why they can't be washed everyday in a load by themselves.

It is frustrating. You just have to find a healthy balance between being firm and allowing her to make some choices.

Eventually it will get better.

PS. Not giving in makes you a better and stronger parent, so don't give up.

ETA just saw your second post. If it's only you all the time, try to find an organized activity or something for DD to do so it can give you a short respite to regroup. You'll need it.

Message edited 1/24/2014 5:11:39 PM.