Re: The first days, week or 2 weeks after you bring your baby home...

With DS, I actually requested that nobody came over for the first week that we were home. I really needed time to figure out how to take care of my son and not have to listen to anyone else's opinion of how I should or shouldn't be doing things. I wasn't confident and I needed time to be with just DH and DS to work it all out.

With DD, we didn't ask anyone to stay away, but didn't specifically ask for any help.

I'd say with both kids we didn't have anyone stay with us to help at all and I thought all went really well.

Re: The first days, week or 2 weeks after you bring your baby home...

My mom will be around all the time... she only lives like a mile away so she doesnt have to actually stay over... and she wouldnt be able to because of my dog anyway

Re: The first days, week or 2 weeks after you bring your baby home...

My mom is going to come stay with us for a while; maybe 2 weeks or more. I also live in the same house as my MIL so Im sure she'll be up here every chance she gets

Re: The first days, week or 2 weeks after you bring your baby home...

Just me and DH. I'm sure family will visit, but I want this to be our time!

Re: The first days, week or 2 weeks after you bring your baby home...

It will be just DH and myself, but his Mother (who will be the caretaker when I go back to work) has volunteered to come in during the day to help with the baby or with the house, whichever needs to be dealt with. My SIL has already offered to fly in within the first month to be of assistance since we did that for her when she had her twins.

Re: The first days, week or 2 weeks after you bring your baby home...

With DS My MIL came to stay the first night we were home. But I didnt really need the help! DS came home sleeping in 5-6 hour spurts so I wasnt really tired.

DH was home for 2 weeks with me as well!

Re: The first days, week or 2 weeks after you bring your baby home...

DS is in the FDNY and has to work nights. Since DS was born on 12/21, he had to go in Christmas night and New Years Eve since nobody would switch with him. My parents came and stayed with me those nights since I would be all alone.

After that, if DH worked, ILs would stop by during the next day if I needed it.

Re: The first days, week or 2 weeks after you bring your baby home...

my mom will be helping alot during the day, shes gonna take the week off

Re: The first days, week or 2 weeks after you bring your baby home...

No

Our families were around (or I should say, MY family was around) to help when we needed it - but not overnight.

I can see why that would appeal to some, but I didn't want it

Re: The first days, week or 2 weeks after you bring your baby home...

Thanks for the replies.

I know some people have mentioned bonding with the baby being an issue, so prefer to do it on their own and with family support. I completely understand that but just to clarify...I don't plan on not bonding with my baby and husband during this precious time in our lives. I understand some feel a nurse can get in the way of that, however I think it's how you manage it and how much involvement you actually want. I am not going to sleep in and act like I am on vacation! HAHA The nurse will be there for support to help us get on a schedule, offer advice on how to do things for the baby that I have never done before, she will help with night feedings if I need her to the first few days while I recover, she does housework, laundry and will cook light meals for us etc. She will be around when we want her and do her own thing when we want our own time. This particular woman we found has been a nurse for a few of our friends so we are comfortably having her in our home.

I completely understand the cost issue. It is a large number, however we are in a position to absorb the cost, we planned for it and find this important for us to get started in this new phase of our lives.

Re: The first days, week or 2 weeks after you bring your baby home...

Posted by walkintomymind

We're gonna tough it out by ourselves

A baby nurse isn't in our budget by any means. I'm sure family will stop in and offer to do things...and we'll play it by ear, if we need some help, some meals cooked, whatever...we'll take it...

Re: The first days, week or 2 weeks after you bring your baby home...

Nope, noone will be staying with us. This is my first baby and DH's second. He has lots of experience so he will be showing me the ropes. I prefer to make any mistakes only in front of him and not in front of anyone else.

Re: The first days, week or 2 weeks after you bring your baby home...

We could in no way afford it and I have been around babies my whole life and I have 17 nieces and nephews so Im used to it (of course the feedings in the middle of the night will take some getting used to) but I feel comfortable with babies. My Dh will also be home for 1-2 weeks with me and I know my family will be over whenever they can to help. But if you can afford it and want the help I dont think its a bad thing at all.

Re: The first days, week or 2 weeks after you bring your baby home...

My mom is coming for 3 weeks and then my MIL for 1 week.

Last time around my mom moved with us for a few months - my dad had just died and it kept her busy.

I needed help - I had a c-section and recovery was a bit hard. I thank God for my mom!

Re: The first days, week or 2 weeks after you bring your baby home...

I know of an amazing post partum doula. FM me if you want her info.

As for me - I didn't have anyone after DS was born even with my complications with my c-section. DH took 8 days off from work and between the two of us we were able to get through the nights.

During the day we had so many visitors it was easy for us to hang out in the bedroom while whoever held and oogled over the baby

Re: The first days, week or 2 weeks after you bring your baby home...

We are considering it. Neither of us know anything at all about babies so we are a little freaked out. That being said, both of our families live about 45 mins away and we know the will want to help. I am really overwhelmed at the idea of either (or both) of our mothers in our house for an extended period of time, but I think they will be really hurt if we have a stranger help instead.

Re: The first days, week or 2 weeks after you bring your baby home...

No one. DH will take off the 1st week, and he is self employed, so he doesnt have to be at work by a certain time anyway. I dont think I would be able to handle any family on an extended stay, with little sleep and crazy hormones. I think we will do just fine,and I am not worried.

Re: The first days, week or 2 weeks after you bring your baby home...

My mom will probably stay for a few days, but the first night it'll just be DH, me and the

Re: The first days, week or 2 weeks after you bring your baby home...

we didnt with ds and wont when this one arrives.

Re: The first days, week or 2 weeks after you bring your baby home...

I don't want anyone around for a few weeks. MIL/FIL and my parents even by appt only. No drops in at all! This is bonding time for me DH and DD

Re: The first days, week or 2 weeks after you bring your baby home...

We didn't have anyone. DH only had the day off that I came home from the hospital. We had family visit but that was really it. I don't mean they didn't help me at all, but everyones life went on as usual.

Re: The first days, week or 2 weeks after you bring your baby home...

We're lucky and have lots of family close by...DH has his own business and is off on Tues, Thurs, Sunday-but he'll take a few days off in a row after is born...I'm sure my mom and mil will also be over nonstop too, especially the first 2 weeks.

We're ESPECIALLY lucky because DH's cousin is a pediatric nurse practitioner and lives 2 minutes away. So she'll help us alot.

Robyn-I think getting a nurse is a great idea-I would want to do it to if we didn't have so much family around. I would totally appreciate the help and guidance. When I saw the episode of "Bethenny getting married" and it was the episode with the baby nurse, I thought to myself-"Geez that's a genius godsend of an idea"..especially bc it was so new for both parents.

Message edited 10/20/2010 8:48:36 PM.

Re: The first days, week or 2 weeks after you bring your baby home...

I totally understand getting a baby nurse. Honestly, if going to my parents wasn't an option I'd likely insist. As for bonding both my cousins and aunt that had babies in the last two years all had baby nurses and they bonded just the same as everyone else I know. The nurse really helped and they had nothing but rave reviews.

Re: The first days, week or 2 weeks after you bring your baby home...

A baby nurse isnt for me or DH, I am way too nervous to let anyone be with my children at that age and I know DH wouldnt go for it either. i only trust family or close close friends at that small of an age.

DH will be taking off the first week he/she comes home.

Re: The first days, week or 2 weeks after you bring your baby home...

My Mom stayed with us for 15 days after DS was born. I had no choice. I was on bed rest when I came home from the hospital. I was so sick after having DS that I needed the help. Hubby was useless. He had never been around a newborn and had no idea what to do. I still bonded with DS just as I would have if my Mom wasn't there. She took the night shift. I had my best friend come up almost everyday to help too. If I wasn't so sick, I think I still would have had my Mom stay for a few days just to help out. It is up to you and DH on what "YOU" want to do....